It's not what you remember...

User Rating: 2 | The House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return WII
(I posted this in my blog as well)

During my teenage years House of the 2 & 3 sucked more quarters out of my pocket than Taco Bells 45 cent Tacos (yes back in the early 90's that's how much a single taco cost there). I would head up to my local arcade which is now a mobile phone store that has since gone out of business and spend many many hours there blasting away at the forthcoming hordes of undead, laughing at how horrible the voice overs were in the game. The Wii version of the game brings back such great memories I couldn't resist buying this game. I would call it a diamond in the rough but it's not. It's not even pyrite (fool's gold) in the rough. It's pretty much a lump of coal. The kind of coal that you use on your BBQ to cook things. So it's a bit better than mined coal, but it's still coal none the less.

The aiming and calibration features of House of the Dead 2 & 3 which we shall refer to as HOD23 from this point forward simply beacuse I'm feeling a bit lazy today. HOD23 allows you to play 2 player co-op which is great if you want your continues to be sucked down faster than the free booze at a party full of recovering alcoholics that've decided to jump the wagon for the night. You only get 5 continues to share between the two of you. Not 5 each, 5 total and that's just wrong. Good luck even passing the first boss charcter that piles of scraps called a continue pile.

Did I mention that you only have a maximum of 5 life points too? Oh yeah...that's only if you go in and change the options away from default. Otherwise it's 3 life points and 3 continues. I'm actually of the opinion that Sega designed the game this way to make it the #1 nominee for most annoying zapper game for the Wii. It would be better if you could somehow unlock more continues or higher life points by completing some of the other levels in the game like Training or Boss Battle, but no. Sega gave us the big "Forget you!" and sold us HOD23 for $29.99 a pop. I've used more continues in just trying to pass the normal level than 29.99 worth of precious shiny quarters. So you could say at least I've got my money's worth right? WRONG!

Take in to account the insanely high levels of frustration that game gives you when you finally pass a level after working 2 hrs with a friend in co-op only to find that you have no continues left and your loser friend gets killed off within the first 30 seconds of the new level because he's lost his aiming rectical and can't fire a dang shot. So you bash the buffoon over the head with your own controller, breaking it, and straying from the game just long enough for the zombies to kill you off too. Guess what. GAME OVER. Start back from the very beginning of the game AGAIN!!! Up yours SEGA!

Unless you're some sort of rabid light zapper gun game geek, don't waste your money on this game as I did. I'm so heavilly disappointed in HOD23 that the game case has been reduced to a coffee cup coaster in my living room. If you want a good light gun game, the best shot for the money is Link's Crossbow Training, and that comes with the Wii Zapper...a much better investment of 29.99 if you ask me. At least you can pick up from the level you last failed on and continue forward from there instead of getting the ice pick in the eye feeling of dread that HOD23 gives you when it mercilessly forces you start back at the very very begining each and every time you start it up or run out of your oh so generous 5 continues.

Seriously...who has time to sit and blast there way through the entire game with only 5 continues? If you've done it. Then you are one of the aformentioned rabid zapper gun game geeks and are such a small part of the gaming population that your thoughts don't count anyway. Go back to firing your invisible bullets now.

I give HOD23 a 2 out of 10 rating. That's only because it's not the absolute worst game I've ever played on the Wii...but it's sucktacular enough to be in my top 10 worst games I've played this year.