This is, without hyperboly, the worst game ever made.

User Rating: 1 | The Graveyard PC
Wow.... I'm utterly speechless. Never in my wildest dreams have I witnessed such horror. To think that comparing a game to Big Rigs racing will end up as an insult to Big Rigs is something I used to joke about, a very long time ago. We all used to sit down and laugh at how terrible Action 52 was with it's broken games and false promises.... all of which pale in comparison to this horrid atrocity.

At least you can bloody play Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing.

The game starts with the player controlling an old lady at the gate of what appears to be a cemetery. There is a path that leads to a far away bench that sits beneath a mausoleum of some kind. There seem to be some deviating paths on the way, although the game forces you on aforesaid narrow straight line with no ability to stray from it. And as you might suspect, being an old lady means that you walk at a painfully slow pace, occasionally limping like a wounded rabbit for what would seem like an eternity, before sitting your ass down on the bench at the end so we can see a close-up view of her horribly jagged and poorly textured face while listening to a poorly subtitled song in German. Then the lady has to stand up, and the player gets the incredibly tedious task of walking back to the entrance, whereupon you can gaze at the credits (if you haven't) and possibly write down the names of the people involved with it just in case you'd want to kill them all, which I presume will happen sooner or later when people realize they paid 5 USD for this "game" that would be embarassed by ****ing ET on the Atari 2600.

Many questions seem to arise from the paper thin plot of this game, like who is this woman? why did she come here? and most importantly, why should I give a rat's buttock? all of which seem to remain unanswered at the end of the 5-10 minutes it takes to finish this "game". Some people say that it's open to interpretation and that excuses the game's length and overall lack of substance. Sadly, what most people view as art, I view as bollocks. Big, fat, hairy bollocks that exist only to hide the fact that developers are lazy, from gullible folks that generally consider tripe like this as high Art.

Common arguments also include:
"Oh, but it's unique", Well, so is a cheese and dog shit sandwich.
"Oh, it's dark". And so is my stool. And the doctor says that's a bad thing.

Case in point, if everything your game has to offer is in the above criteria, then something has gone horribly wrong somewhere. A game cannot stand on it's own with merely an art direction and no substance at all. In an industry where people make games, this is simply unacceptable. In The Graveyard's case, I'm not sure it even qualifies as a short movie. It has no plot to speak of and only one completely blank and unrelatable character. There is no atmosphere to speak of, either. This is storytelling at it's absolute worst. And you know that something is horribly wrong when games like Final Fantasy 13 have better storyteling and characters.

This game has absolutely no redeeming qualities. There is nothing here that would satisfy anyone other than the lowest common denominator - The bottom of the barrel of expectations. Even other bad games have at least some substance, no matter how terrible they are. You could at least spend some time laughing at the bad design choices, the awful voice acting, the crappy graphics.... etc. The Graveyard doesn't even offer the chance to laugh at it, with the game being so terribly short and linear, you will be more occupied with how painfully boring it is. And I'll be buggered if I have to play it again just to rip it apart some more.