i bloody love SpongeBob SquarePants. the show is vibrant, chaotic, & kinda funny at times. so, as you'd expect, if you know what the game industry was like in the noughties, & parts of the 2010s, SpongeBob had a LOT of games made of him & his friends. some good, some bad, but most in the middle. this game, i'm not quite sure about. SpongeBob HeroPants for the Xbox 360, 3DS, or in my case, the PlayStation Vita. that thing is gonna be responsible for a lot of reviews. especially PS1 stuff. anyway, let's try & talk about this game. that's why i'm here.
so, we have 6 characters to pick from: SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr Krabs, Squidward, Sandy, & Plankton. good start. and we have a neat little FMV based on the movie that came out in the same year, Sponge Out of Water, before the start of the first level. good continuation. so, let's just play. i'm starting with SpongeBob.
FUN FACT: SpongeBob was originally going to be called SpongeBoy, but couldn't be due to copyright reasons. if you ask me, the name SpongeBoy probably would have left the show in the dust.
while level 1 loads, SpongeBob tells us: "you can double jump by pressing the jump button twice." i won't lie, that got quite the laugh out of me. anyway, the game. it's a pretty standard 3D brawler, except for 3 things. the levels are damn near empty, they're drawn out (i've played up to level 13 before, 1 or 2 levels per session), & there's the superhero gimmick, hence the title of "HeroPants". a bar charges over the span of a couple minutes, maybe, but you don't really do stuff to charge it up, which could have made the stages a little better, because they could set challenges for you to earn your super-energy, but no. just wait 3-or-so minutes, get slightly higher & floatier jumping, your attack strength is the same, i think, if it's different, it's not noticeable, your projectile item doesn't have a number on it, until the bar runs out, you know, & you're a little bit freakin' faster. huzzah, sound the trumpets, pop the champagne, die in a hole. and even if it was any good, it only lasts 20 odd seconds or something. bloody hell. and do you know what's annoying? i'm trying to listen to the decent stage music, but SpongeBob can't just SHUT UP. i know i can turn down the voices, but i'm just saying. i feel Squidward's pain.
you know what? i've played this game before. i don't need to continue. the levels all work the same way. you only need to play 1 level to know your thoughts on whole thing, really. i used to like this game. i'm sorry, 9 & 10 year old me, but when an unironically funny hint is the most fun i had with this game, i can't give it any more than a 5. i'm giving it a 3.