Uh, little kids will like it. I did.
Now I am one of those people who, when they get something new, is obsessed with it for a period. I was fixated on this game until I won it. I had dreams about it and I doodled it in my homework.
And now, I am reviewing it. While I ma writing this, I am the only person who has chosen to do so. Cool, I guess. I have to warn you, there will be spoilers ahead. And this game is so short, I'm going to review it step by step. Yay!
So the game starts with a cutscene, complete with that admittedly awesome theme.
So Spirit has managed to get himself caught. Again.
Apparently Little Creek (I think that's his name) has followed our hoofed hero, not bothering to offer any aid, until his teaching lesson now. He walks you through what to do, but be warned, his instructions are slightly inaccurate in certain aspects. Like moving. But we'll get to that later.
So he finishes his lesson and ditches you. The fact that Matt Damon is voicing him still rocks my world.
Anyway, in case you haven't realized already, you are stuck in a corral with an old gray horse and a bunny. Click on the bunny and he gives you a carrot. Apparently, carrots give you speed. Okay. There isn't really an easy way to explain this, but basically, there are different levels of speed. Follow me here? Okay, so, to walk, you click the mouse. To go a little faster, click again. The carrots are displayed on the top of the screen, and you can only go as fast as the amount of carrots you have. I think there are seven in all. Or maybe five. I dunno.
So right now, since you only have two, you really can't go very fast. Guess he's still tired from the intense exertion of being captured.
After talking to the old geezer trapped with you, he tells you, in so many words, that he's too lazy to jump the three foot-tall fence and that you will have to. And once you do, you need to find a way to knock the large boulder balancing precariously on the ledge overhead onto the fence, thereby freeing him.
When I first played this, it took me forever to get over the fence. You have to position Spirit and time his jump perfectly, or you won't make it over.
Now seems like a good time to talk about moving, jumping, and kicking.
The instruction manual and Little Bear's instructions will lead you to believe that, in order to gain speed, you click the mouse. And that's true, in a way. But what they don't tell you is that, after a few seconds, Spirit will start to slow down and eventually stop. This means that you have to constantly be clicking the mouse button, and this makes for a stiff, sore finger later.
Jumping is in and of itself, easy to catch on to. But there are some places where it just seems like there is an invisible wall keeping you from passing. And every time you jump, some irritating sound effect cues. I don't even have the faintest clue what this is supposed to sound like, it almost reminds me of a short burst of static.
You use the right mouse button to jump and kick, and you have to have your butt over or facing an object to hit it, and the same annoying sound plays. Good Lord.
After freeing the old guy, Spirit does a victory dance and the old horse thanks you. Did I mention that each time you go to the next text box there's some random, abrasive horse noise? Well there is.
Saving this groveling bag of bones snaps you to a little mini-island. The old horse vomits a few words of thanks and then orders you to find the others. Others?! Yes, the entire game is you rescuing your needy, obnoxious "family."
If you head back the way you came, you will find the love of your life, Rain. She is so exhausted from running away from the horse wrestlers that she can't even move to drink from the stream about five yards from her. An icon appears at the top of your screen when she is hungry or thirsty, and it is your job to drop what you are doing and go to her aid. This is particularly annoying later in the game, when you are on the other side of the map.
Spirit also has invisible pouches to carry things. Eventually you can buy up to three from a merchant. Yeah, I guess he doesn't find the idea of a horse purchasing things from him weird. Neither does any humans that you encounter and converse in length with throughout your adventure.
The bunny from before will randomly pop up, and you have to catch him to earn a carrot. You can access certain areas until you have enough carrots to jump the gaps or rivers, so running down this sore loser is not optional.
You can also race an eagle to earn a feather, but there isn't really any reason to do so that I know of.
There are a few timed scenes, but nothing too challenging.
After you beat the game, you are teleported to your island, and..... nothing. You can run around and stuff, but why would you want to? Everyone does nothing but thank you. And the graphics are so bland and sloppy that the scenery looks like it was pulled from a watercolor painting. I don't have anything against those, but that's not what this game was going for.
And the soundtrack, oh Lord. The music is okay, but it blares up randomly, scaring the snot out of you. And it never stops.
Well, I've definitely played worse. And seeing all the different horses is kind of interesting. For a few minutes.
Overall, young children will be amused, but you likely will not.