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GameSpot Soapbox - Rants and ravings about the gaming industry
  • Chris_Watters – A Viewer's Guide to That Crazy Joust Video

    Last Thursday evening, a dozen GameSpot editors gathered in our office arena to joust. Johann Sebastian Joust, to be specific. For an hour and half we stalked, hid, scurried, and leapt around the room while projectiles filled the air and PlayStation Move controllers glowed brightly. There was triumph, agony, near-injuries, and unintentional groping, and both participants and spectators alike left with the feeling that they had just experienced something highly unusual, but incontrovertibly awesome.

    This vigorous endeavor, coordinated by the estimable Tom Mc Shea, is chronicled in the short video below, deftly distilled by the talented GS video producer, Werhner Von Goff. Each time I watch it (up to about 5 or 6 now) I see new things, remember unseen details, and chuckle aloud. However, I'm guessing that it might not make a whole lot of sense to folks who are unfamiliar with the game. With that in mind, I've written a companion of sorts to contextualize some of the crazy stuff you're seeing and help you get more out of the video. The basic premise is below, followed by the video and then some timestamps that highlight strategies, calamities, and favorite moments. Enjoy!

    The Basics

    Each player grabs a PlayStation Move controller (we had 5). The Moves are linked via Bluetooth to a laptop in the corner of the room, which runs the game. The laptop plays classical music at varying speeds and monitors the accelerometers in the Move controllers. The tempo of the music corresponds to the maximum speed you can move your Move; fast music means fast motions are okay, slow music means you must be very careful. If you move your controller too fast, it blinks red, vibrates, and you are out. A flashing light indicates you are getting close to the limit. Pulling the trigger (supposedly) gives you temporary invulnerability. The object is to make the other players move their controllers too fast while keeping your movements in check. Games generally last less than a few minutes, some are over in seconds.

    The Video

    The Breakdown

    0:19 - You don't actually have to move in time with the music, Mc Shea! I went into this game thinking I'd have to be waving the Move like a conductor's wand, which is clearly not the case. Fortunately, this was the extent of Tom's disinformation campaign.

    0:33 - Two back-to-back instances of verbal tactics. I begin advancing on Shaun McInnis with, "Hey Shaun. Hey Shaun. Hey Shaun." Then it sounds like Mc Shea says to Kurtis Seid, "What's Magrino doing?", in an effort to distract him into worrying about Tom Magrino. Not sure how either of those encounters ended up.

    0:39 - My goon-walking phase (I'm the dude in the white t-shirt). While it was enough to make Giancarlo Varanini smile, it didn't pan out to be much of a strategy.

    0:43 - Kurtis takes an lazy shot at Ryan Schubert with a small foam soccer ball. We stocked the room with a bunch of soft, throwable things to make projectile jousting a possibility for all. See if you can spot a stuffed football, a little pony, a Sonic the Hedgehog hat, a blue UFO, and Blinky from Pac-Man

    0:52 - The devious and innovative Maxwell McGee grabs a desk chair, to Mc Shea's vocal dismay. This item will later be used as a defensive barrier, an offensive weapon, and a vehicle that at least one foolhardy editor (Mc Shea) tries to ride around (while using a broken fan cage as a shield).

    1:10 - Carolyn Petit moves in on Marko Djordjevic for some slow-motion close-quarters jousting. One of the tamest violations of personal space you are bound to see.

    1:16 - Out come a few extra props for prodding!

    1:23 - Tom Mc Shea's offensive gambit backfires when Shaun stabilizies his controller and totally kicks Mc Shea in the nuts.

    1:26 - The resilient Carolyn weathers a fake kick and a chair to the leg before succumbing to another fake kick (1:32) as Aron Vietti closes in from the other side. The crash noise you hear is emitted by the computer to let you know someone has been knocked out.

    1:40 - Despite a nice block, Ryan succumbs to a lunge from Janmeja Heir. But take a look to the left and you'll notice that I am laid out on the floor, curled up like a bug. During a scuffle with Maxwell, I received a sharp strike to the back that resulted in some intense, albeit short-lived, discomfort. Was it his bony elbow? Was it that television lurking in the background? All we truly know is that Johann Sebastian Joust is not a game with its own perils. And that Maxwell is a total gentleman once he's eliminated you from competition (as evidenced at 3:15 and 3:21).

    1:43 - I snuck The Claw into play by sticking it into the back of my pants, and Marko was the first person I tangled with. Though I manage to deftly parry his lunge with my children's toy, he gets the best of that encounter as my Move fizzles out.

    1:46 - Maxwell kicks Mc Shea into a beanbag (the dude is ruthless!), but at what cost?

    1:48 - A projectile montage that features three of my best throws of the night. The first never actually hits Tom, but whizzes so close to his face that his involuntary startled jerk knocks him out. The other two are direct hits, but my favorite throw of the night was when, from across the room, I bounced the foam soccer ball off of the glowing tip of Carolyn's controller and eliminated her. Headshot! (My worst one, incidentally, was when I chucked a stuffed pony directly into Maxwell's face. He spectating at the time.)

    1:56 - Here we see Tom implementing a tactic I like to call, The Bum Rush. Because your controller can never move too slowly, Tom has placed it on the ground and darted after his opponents. If he can get to them all before they find his idle controller, victory shall be his! Anytime you see someone moving MUCH faster than anyone else, odds are it's a Bum Rush in action.

    1:58 - Kurtis saves John Davison the indignity of being Bum Rushed by drilling him in the face with a pillow. How thoughtful!

    2:10 - Giancarlo gets in a sneaky, cheeky slap on Maxwell, but as we see in the next scene, knocks himself out in the process. There are many other instances of such jousting hubris in the video, where the aggressors end up knocking themselves out as well. There's some sort of zen observation to be made here, I'm sure.

    2:16 - This face-off ends with Marko falling onto a big white beanbag, much to everyone's delight. Unfortunately for him, that big dark cloth is covering a dangerous nest of music game peripherals. Having covered this hazard myself, I can confidently deduce that at 2:20, Marko hits his head on the upright leg of a drumset without the drum pads attached. Ouch!

    2:22 - Mc Shea gets Bum Rush-happy! Seeing him coming for me with that hideous Sonic scalp, I instinctively set my controller down and went in for the tackle. I knew bowling him over and finding his controller was my only chance, but I only succeeded at the first part (this may also have involved some inadvertant crotch trauma for the beleaguered Mc Shea).

    2:30 - Tyler Winegarner had been lying on the floor for a good 30 seconds at this point. No one messed with him and he just lay there with a huge grin on his face. Huge! Then Marko decided the free ride was over, and dropped a beanbag on him. C'est la joust!

    2:34 - "Zee bubble wrap, it does nah-sing!" John is happy to demonstrate to Shaun that this is not an Egg Drop contest by bludgeoning him with an inflatable tommy gun.

    2:44 - Kevin VanOrd leads Maxwell on a merry chase that comes to an abrupt halt with a quick slap from Marko. Ever the good sportsman, Kevin has the composure to accept defeat in his best Alvin and the Chipmunksvoice (thanks for that, Wernher!).

    3:01 - Mc Shea puts a roaring spin on the Bum Rush, and Erick Tay isn't able to stop himself from smiling (or getting eliminated).

    3:12 - Marko and Jan demonstrate the grace, elegance, and athletic prowess required to be a GameSpot employee.

    3:25 - WHOMP!

    3:35 - Many thanks indeed, Doug Wilson!

    3:39 - He didn't *technically* get decked that round, but I did go on to claim the night's final victory (as least that's how I remember it).

    The End

    And there you have it. Spot anything funny that I missed? Who seemed like the most formidable competitor? Favorite moments? Let me know in the comments!

  • shaunmc – My Top 10 Games of 2011

    The following list already appeared here, but I've fleshed it out with a few extra categories below. Enjoy!

    10. Outland


    I'm a sucker for Metroidvania games, but when you add in a beautiful art design and a novel gameplay mechanic like polarity switching, suddenly I go from being a sucker to being in love. In fact, I'm normally kind of a baby when it comes to challenging boss fights, but Outland had me going all the way through to the moment I terrified my girlfriend with shouts of joy upon beating the final boss.

    9. L.A. Noire


    Rockstar games are always a lightning rod for nitpicking and naysaying, but as a fan of open-world settings, I tend to enjoy their stuff quite a bit. L.A. Noire's recreation of 1940s Los Angeles was an incredible thing, to the point where I enjoyed just driving around the city and soaking up the sights. And while the interrogation system was pretty flawed, that didn't stop me from really enjoying the adventure game elements of the game's detective work.

    8. Stacking

    I really enjoyed the 10 minutes of this game I got to play before my girlfriend--normally not much of a gamer--ripped the controller out of my hand and proceeded to play through the rest of the game as I sat and watched, offering suggestions on how to solve its various puzzles. And while it may seem odd to put a game on here that I watched more than I played, its charming and whimsical sense of humor and ability to encourage couch teamwork was more than entertaining enough to earn a place on this list. Also, it had DLC called "The Lost Hobo King." How could I not put that on here?

    7. Deus Ex: Human Revolution

    If you know my tastes at all, you'll know that I'm a huge fan of engrossing atmosphere in games. Deus Ex, with its unique color palette and and buzzing sci-fi synth music, was one of my favorite examples of atmosphere all year long. And it certainly helps that I really enjoyed the story and gameplay as well, I suppose. Especially the part where you throw refrigerators at people.

    6. Terraria

    This one's kind of a bittersweet entry for me. I recently went in and played some Terraria for the first time since this summer and really disliked the ramped up difficulty level of the most recent patch. But for those 30-odd hours I played the game earlier this year, I couldn't get enough of its freeform adventuring. The visual language of 2D sprites was more appealing to me than Minecraft's worlds, and the allure of building up toward big boss fights kept me plugging along when I'd run out of ideas for things to build.

    5. Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective


    I had several reasons to ignore Ghost Trick: the only portable games I play anymore tend to be on iPhone, and I've never played a single Phoenix Wright game either. But I took a chance on Ghost Trick after Carolyn's review and it was one of the best decisions I've made all year. Its puzzles feel fresh and unique, it's got a terrific sense of humor, and dear God that soundtrack! Oh, and did I mention Missile? You could put Missile in any game and it would be a contender for my top 10 list.

    4. To the Moon

    I'll go ahead and get this out of the way right now: To the Moon is the closest I've ever come to crying while playing a video game. But to dismiss this as some sappy story would be a profound mistake, because To the Moon's strength lies in its emotional complexity. Its story of a dying man's memories of his late wife alternates between genuinely hilarious and charming during certain points, to bittersweet and downright heartbreaking at others. The whole thing is a powerful testament to the storytelling potential of video games that you really ought to play if you have four or five hours to spare.

    3. Batman: Arkham City

    Funny story: I didn't play Arkham Asylum until earlier this year. But I knew that with Arkham City coming out in the fall, I had to fill that shameful gap in my backlog post haste. So I did, and went into Arkham Asylum ready to continue Batman's fight against the Joker. Pretty good decision, right? Arkham City has one of the best combat systems of any action-adventure game I've played in the past 10 years, and the new open-world setting really lets you feel like a predator stalking your foes from the rooftops. It's just a stunning overall package that could easily be my number one game of year at any other time besides 2011.

    2. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

    I'm about 65 hours into Skyrim right now, and I've barely put a dent in the main story arc. I've just been getting lost in the landscape, taking on any side quests that come my way, and wandering through the world as much as I possibly can. Skyrim is just that kind of game, one that makes you want to take your time and soak up every last sight as much as possible. There's so much to explore and see and kill and craft that you need to take your time with it. And I think that's one of the things Skyrim does better than Oblivion. There are more stories and secrets to be found out there in the world, and you really don't want to pass any of them over.

    1. Portal 2

    Entertainment doesn't get any more pure than Portal 2. It's a game makes you smile one of those big, stupid grins no matter whether you're playing it or thinking about it six months later. That's the sort of game Portal 2 is. Pure bliss.

    Runners Up

    The Witcher 2, Battlefield 3, Driver San Francisco, Bastion, Rayman Origins.

    Most Disappointing Game of the Year

    Dragon Age II. Just a textbook example or rushing a sequel out the door far, far too soon.

    iPhone Game of the Year

    Tiny Wings! Not the objectively best game of the year for the platform, but certainly the one I had the most fun with.

  • Synthia – A Geeks Answers to Your Questions About Santa Claus

    Just to get something out of the way first.

    ***SPOILER***

    See, he's TOTALLY real!

    If there is any one aspect of being a parent we have been avidly preparing for for years, it's how to explain the concept of Santa Claus to our child. So that you won't be left out, here are some popular children's questions about the Claus and the answers.

    ~How can Santa visit everywhere in the world in one night?

    Santa's sleigh contains an Improbability Drive. When in use, it is simultaneously everywhere in the entire universe at once due to a quirk of quantum physics theory that states that there is a very small chance of a subatomic particle being very far from the nucleus of an atom. All you have to do is create a field of infinite improbability and off you go. Fun fact: an unexpected mis-ignition of the Improbability Drive and its reality-warping effects turned the sleigh's engine into eight reindeer, and Santa liked them so much he never bothered to attempt to turn them back. They remain a living part of Santa's sleigh.

    ~How can Santa carry so many presents in one tiny sleigh?

    Santa is a longtime ally of the Doctor, and has access to Time Lord technology including mastery of hammerspace. The sleigh is actually huge on the inside, and contains not only storage space for all the world's presents, but also living quarters for up to 30 passengers, stables for the reindeer, a 3-D printing lab for last-minute gifts due to sudden changes to naughty/nice status, a den with a fireplace, and a small home theatre.

    ~How can Santa fit down the chimney and what does he do when there isn't one?

    Santa has access to Floo Powder, so he's not so much coming down your chimney as using it for a magical portal. Because of the nature of Floo Powder, Santa can also emerge from heating vents, gas valves, and since there's a connection between the teleportational ether and ionized gas, from plasma TVs. He tries not to do that one too much as some people find it a little creepy.

    ~How does Santa know if I've been good?

    When a child turns five years old, parents are given access to a special Web site (Previously it was a mail-in form) where they can enter information regarding your behavior since last Christmas. We do it like we do taxes every year. Don't worry, children are graded on a curve and if for some reason a parent doesn't fill out the questionnaire, Santa errs on the side of presents.

    Speaking of taxes, the Web site allows parents to opt out of Santa delivery so that Santa can spend more time, money and energy on people who can't afford or otherwise won't receive presents. That's why sometimes you catch your parents filling stockings. They're participating in the opt-out program to help the less fortunate. Parents get a tax credit for doing this, a provision set up by President Richard Nixon in gratitude after Santa Claus single-handedly stopped an invasion by S.P.I.D.E.R. in the late 1960s.

    ~How does Santa make all the presents?

    Santa's elves are actually the last surviving members of the Middle Earth elves, and they bring both magic and craftsmanship to toy making in addition to Santa's own skills and genius. Many of the world's best gadgets, gizmos and playthings have actually been developed by Santa and the elves, and they are licensed through various companies to fund Christmas and promote innovation in the realm of whimsy. Santa Claus, Inc. is the largest patent-holder in the world.

    Why does Santa live at the North Pole?

    The North Pole is not under any particular country's territorial claims, and thus serves as the perfect neutral ground for Santa to conduct his operations free from war, economic shifts and other political factors. This holds true for his base on the Moon as well, though that site is still in the development phase as a back-up base should global warming render the Arctic too unstable.

    ~Why don't I always get the present I ask for?

    Mrs. Claus is an accomplished scryer, which she learned directly from studies with Dr. John Dee. Her job at the North Pole is checking a small distance into the future to see whether or not the present you ask for causes any kind of trouble, and sends her recommendation on to her husband. This is why most kids don't get the pony or flamethrower that they ask for.

    ~Is Santa real?

    Santa, like all gods, demigods, myths and extra-normal beings, operates on the Gaiman principle. They are defined by the perception of humans to their existence. In short, he is as real as the belief in him is real. At various times in history he has been either a fully corporeal entity capable of magic and wonder in our reality, at others he has merely been a small voice inside our heads urging us to generosity and love in the cold of winter. He has been a saint, a shaman, a god, a cultural icon and a corporate mascot. He is more or less all of these things at once.

    You'll never find an element in the periodic table called "hope," or "love," or "charity." Yet those things are as real as hydrogen despite not being measured by any way known to science, and so is Santa Claus.

  • shaunmc – Meet the man with the most absurd desk in the world

    Hubris, Chris Watters. Hubris.

  • shaunmc – A typical work conversation between myself and Chris Watters

    A bit of a one-sided conversation. THANKS, CHRIS.

  • jwhdavison – New GameSpot Podcast incoming: We need your help

    I've been itching to get behind the microphone and do a podcast again for a long time now. I've been at GameSpot for a little over a year, and have been looking for the right opportunity to do something that will serve more of a purpose than just me wanting to scratch that particular, borderline-narcissistic itch. After all, we already have The HotSpot, which has been extremely popular for many years, and has recently been rebooted with Tom Magrino at the helm, so if we're going to do another one, it needs to be for the right reasons.

    So...we're going to do a little experiment. We're going to test out a new show(let's call it a "pilot" just in case I completely mess this up and it doesn't work out the way we want it to)after Thanksgiving where the content is entirely dictated by you. You shape the conversation with your comments and questions, you define the content with well-articulated blog posts that we talk about on-air. We want this show to be a reflection and celebration of the GameSpot community. if the concept works, we'll expand upon it in future and see where it takes us. For now, I want to get the ball rolling here and see where it takes us. For this first one, I want to provide a completely open forum and throw some questions back to you guys.

    - Do you want us to pick a theme and have you respond? Or do you guys want to throw suggestions at us?

    - How do you want to make suggestions? Respond in the comments to a post? In the forums? On Twitter, Facebook, or Google+? All of the above?

    - Do you want episodes to have lots of different smaller topics? Or do you want a single theme of discussion where we explore things in a deeper way?

    - Do you want a short podcast that's 30 minutes or less? Or something longer?

    - What should the show be called?

  • jwhdavison – Change Before You Have To

    Regular readers (and viewers) of GameSpot will have noticed that we've been making a lot of changes lately. We've been tweaking the functionality of our pages, changing the design, and changing our approach to content. This is just the beginning of our metamorphosis, and hopefully you'll continue to notice a lot of things adapt and evolve in the coming months. Some things we'd like to see move more quickly than we're able to execute upon (there are lots of things that we want to do with the site itself, but they're epic, big, complicated engineering projects too difficult and technical for a content dork like me to explain) but believe us; we are paying very close attention to what you're saying in the forums, in your blog posts, and in the comments.

    Recently we've also had some changes to our team. Friends and colleagues have moved on, and we're rebuilding our organization to best serve you. As part of that, I wanted to communicate some recent changes to so you know who's doing what around these parts.

    The biggest recent move is that Justin Calvert is now Executive Editor (he previoulsy headed up reviews) and reports directly to me. He and Ryan MacDonald are now the two primary content leads and the two of them are helping me work on new ways to create cool content for you all, and I couldn't be happier. Both are awesome chaps, and I'm very pleased to have them as my right hand men. (Can you have multiple right hand men?)Over on the newsdesk, the excellent Brendan Sinclair has been promoted to senior editor in charge of news. Brendan has been a hugely important part of our news engine for a long while now, and this promotion is well-deserved for him.

    I can't wait to see what these guys will do in the weeks and months ahead.

    We'll have more news about changes between now and the end of the year, but for right now - please join me in congratulating these guys.

    If there's content you'd like to see, or you'd like to share your thoughts on how you'd like to see our content evolve, please let me know in the comments, or head over the guys' pages (I've linked them above) and let them know too.

    [Gold star to anyone who knows who said the quote I used as the title of this post]

About the Soapbox

  • Welcome to the GameSpot Soapbox, in which you can always find the latest rants, diatribes, well-reasoned arguments, and baseless speculation about gaming both from the GameSpot editors and GameSpot users. Want to be spotlighted? We'll consider every GameSpot blog post marked with the category "editorial" for inclusion. Sound off!
  • Last updated: Feb 9, 2012 4:01 pm GMT

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