I was told that for the new generation of consoles, all of these problems would be fixed, a big, beautiful new city, wonderful voice acting, and a story that would pull me in so deeply I would find myself thinking about the consequences of my actions for days, nay, weeks to come. So I was pulled along in the hype machine, growing ever twitchier the closer I got to the release date.

I stood outside at midnight Monday with the other huddled masses, enjoying the first little rain Calgary had gotten for the spring. I eagerly rushed home to slam it into my console and play all night to my hearts content.

And I waited. And waited. And waited.

Waited for the rush of technical realism and beautiful story development that I had been promised by oh, so many reviews.

But it never came.

All I received was a technical demo focusing more on building a "believable" (I'll get onto that more in a second) city than character, proper voice acting, and plot development. I waited for the people around Niko (the only character I managed not to develop a serious disdain for) to develop into well rounded, lovable characters. Instead what I received was a troupe of the most horribly conceived criminal archetypes that reminded me almost immediately of the hackneyed stereotypes pushed in previous GTA iterations. The moment I met little Jacob and his horrible imitation of a normally pleasant accent, I began my rather expedient decent into a deep seething hatred for this game.

While I will be honest in saying that I have not played through the entire game to experience all it has to offer, it becomes rather obvious that the fact I didn't finish the game before reviewing it stems from the fact that after a mere seven hours. I don't want to play it anymore. Playing it beyond this point has become more of a chore to see if it "gets better" rather than enjoying myself. Why should I be forced to push myself through the storyline to get to a point that I actually enjoy? Perhaps this displays a serious lack of patience on my part, but I ask, "if I skipped lacrosse practice, sat outside in the rain with a bunch of people who would be better served as test subjects for some brain altering chemical, and then payed 65 dollars, shouldn't the game make at least a halfhearted attempt at holding my attention for the first few hours?".

Getting away from the storyline, I also found many problems with the technical marvel that is Liberty City. Reading review after review I grew ever more excited at the idea of a "living, breathing city". What I received instead was a bunch of strategically placed npc's yelling out their conversations to anyone within a forty foot radius who cares to listen. What kind of realism is that? I suppose I was pleasantly surprised by the driving physics, Nikos' movement flow and the radio stations, but surely that cannot be what garnered all this critical acclaim. I did NOT pay good money for a driving and walking around simulator.

I'm going to stop this review now as you can well see the bile reaching the top of my throat as I write it. Perhaps I could have gotten over the flaws that this game has if everyone and his brother hadn't blown their collective critical load over it. Perhaps I could have accepted the fact that the game IS NOT in fact, perfect if it hadn't received what appears at the first glance, to be perfect scores all around. It's horribly irresponsible to give this game a ten out of ten, five stars out of five, ten pandas out of whatever, when it is not perfect. It's far from it.

Review score: 5.5 out of 10

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Really.

I don't.

No, I'm not kidding.

Review later? Perhaps.

If I can quell my anger.

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Or that the Gamespot filters hate non-english sounding names?

Just thought I'd....you know....point it out.

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Just scored 330,012 in Through The Fire And Flames on expert!

Whoo!

First post in three months!

Whoo!

Again!

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I like it.

While the graphicsdefinitely leave a considerable amount to be desired, the gameplay is absolutely priceless. For so long have I wanted to dive across a table while shooting poorly voice acted criminals in the face. Especially in slow motion.

Figured I'd try to put together a long post for today, I don't think it's going to happen though, wayyyy to tired.

Later.

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Figured out a quick and diabolical way to bypass Gamespots new video player if you're having problems running it. I don't have any problem running it on my home computer, however if I try to bust it out on the laptop over a wireless it gets a little bogged down.

So here's what you do.

Say you want to fire up a video of a long running series like Button Mashing or On The Spot, all you have to do is go into a video that's older than the new video player has been around. Due to how painful converting all these files would be, Gamespot has just left them be, so pull up that old video and, lo and behold, is the windows media player. Now, without closing the window, stop the video and go back into the menu for the new On The Spot (or whatever) episodes. Select your video from the list and watch it pop up in the old windows media format.

Now I haven't extensively tested this, so if it doesn't work for some videos, I apologize. However I thought it was a neat little trick that alot of people who have been whining about the new player would like.

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There certainly have been some interesting developments in my life as of late, I met one of the hottest/most insane people on the planet and she proceeded to ruin my life in a special way that only a professional diabolical she-devilcan. But hey, life goes on, despite everyones best efforts to the contrary. Oh well, moving on is nice because I've met someone very special who I may introduce to my like, four readers out there haha.

I haven't been playing a whole lot of games as of late, due to my depressing lack of funds, I did manage to pick up The Darkness the other day, its nice to see developers trying to put the main focus of a game on the story. Graphics tend to take a back seat however if displayed on a great television (namely one that I don't own) can become quite strikingly immersive with enough time. Sound is done incredibly well but is never overwhelmingly mind blowing in any way.

I've been spending some quality time with the Wii lately, thanks largely to the release of the Resident Evil Wii edition. There's not much to tell here as there isn't any Wii exclusive content to be found, however if you aren't yet sick of the game (how could you be? Crazy person.) and you find yourself in possession of, "the cutest little thing I've ever seen" (Rachel's words, not mine. Oh, by the way, her name is Rachel.) Then this one is a must buy at only 30 bucks.

Well, that's all I've got for right now, I'll probably post again sometime this week, try to get back into the swing of things.

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I got all the things together for the musicology union to get started, I was only able to find 4 people that I know and that aren't already affiliated with 30 (how do you join 30??) unions, so anyone reading this, if your friends like music and aren't jerks, then I strongly suggest you invite them. Or you could always free up space on your own by ditching some other unions, I don't know how you could balance 30, I have issues with the four or five that I'm in.

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I camped out in front of my local best buy for 27 hours. But I got one, and boy is it actually worth it. I don't have a whole lot to say other than if you have the funds, and don't mind spending alot of them, then go for it. Definetly worth it. I'm probably going to go and camp out again later tonight for the Wii. Anyone who lives in Calgary, I'm bringing my hookah if you want to chill in a tent and get loaded. 

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You'll be free to talk about any music, television, movies, games, or whatever else comes to your mind without the threats of abuse or crazy rambling people attempting to attack your masculinity.

I figure a big part of this union will be music, as I love music more than video games actually. Probably there will be a thread on there just for people to talk about great albums or bands they've found, because it's hard to listen to and get to like a band if you've never heard of them, right? Oh, and seriously, no flaming about music, if you don't understand/hate it, then keep your trap shut.

I'm only going to start this thing if I get a decent number of people involved. Feel free to invite your friends, but make sure they aren't crazy or something lame like that. So I guess if this gets off the ground, the first order of business is to have a name my union contest. Just append your suggestions to your posts on this blog.

Thanks guys, hope this works out.

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To see the level of fanboyish glee displayed by those who are tethered to the single belief that, "system A is better than B or C because of blah, blah, blah....halo...blah blah...blu ray...blah blah, actually fun to play", and so on until quite possibly the end of time, or at least the next console cycle.

So can't people actually accept that all three systems have their own unique and special differences that make them all good. For instance, the Playstation 3 has it's incredible graphics capability and third party support, the Xbox 360 has an incredible amount of disposable income to improve their system and a deep, well integrated online community, and Nintendo, well Nintendo has incredible ideas, coupled with a system that looks like about 4 tons of solid fun.

I know that most people don't have the disposable income to say, "yes, I can definitely purchase all of those consoles and their subsequent games", however is that really a reason to "choose" one system over another, arbitrarily throwing out all rhyme or reason in their statements against other consoles?

I like my Xbox 360, I've been one of the lucky ones who has never had a real problem with it, I love the ideas being put forth by Nintendo in their efforts to try to make gaming fun and accessible again, and I really believe that the Playtations rabid fan base will assist them through this tough time in their business lives.

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I guess that's pretty killer...and my ears were just ruined by an abrupt change in Windows media from Explosions in the sky to Pantera...not that I'm complaining though.

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Oh, and I've figured I'll keep the broken banner, it's got personality.

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Anyone who can actually MAKE a banner out of one of my goaltending pictures is welcome to contact me, I'd be stoked for anyone to try. If I don't get anything in the next new days, I'll probably contact someone with a cool banner....I'm looking at you, Someguy12.

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Otherwise, not a whole spewing font of information over the past few weeks, I've been devoting all of my time to mastering the skill stick, a trickier proposition than first inferred. Still a spectacular game, I'll probably do a review in the near future.

In non-game news, I've been reading the book, "Game Of Shadows", penned by Lance Williams and Mark Fainaru-Wada. I definetly recommend it to anyone who is even remotely interested in the whole baseball steroid scandal. At times I question the seeming clarivoyancy of the writers in the details of the day to day actions of the major players. But hey, I'd probably less interested in the narrative if some liberties weren't taken.

So I guess that's really all for now, I'll get back soon....maybe.

P.S My wordperfect program is unnavailable and I'm kind of tired, so I figure there's more than one or two spelling or grammatical errors here. Just so you know.

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Why would you ever purposely spell something incorrectly? And if I do get nailed for abuse, I can always go somewhere else to get my news, somewhere away from whiny, prepubescent simpletons who take everything FAR to seriously. Wait, oh darn, no such place exists thanks to those who feel it is their infallible right and privilege to pollute posting boards and blogs with things that narrowly resemble the English language.

And America is not a race, no matter how much you'd like it to be.

I don't believe I'm the smartest person in the world, I just figure that maybe, just maybe if I berate you all enough you'll finally get the idea that the English language is meant to be used as a sharp, precise tool, not a dull, poorly aimed hammer. I am well aware that nothing I ever do will EVER make you all change your ways, but hey, can't blame a guy for trying.

And I know we don't have to write reviews 100% correctly, I do because I CHOOSE to, I like to get my point across not be beating the reader about the head with my opinions, but to tell them the good, the bad, the ugly, and what I think of other reviews I have the unpleasant misfortune of reading.

So in conclusion, go ahead, report me. I dare you. I don't care. Because hey, I can always go outside, or go to the gym, or be with my family and friends, this is just something I do, it's not my life.

P.S. It doesn't matter who tracks me, because I will never meet these people, and very rarely will I ever have a conversation with them on more than a, "what's up man?" level. Although I do have some respect for TrueTripleOG, who defended my points when I had better things to do.

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I was just wandering through the featured discussions on a few pages and a thought happened to strike me, why do people use instant messaging shorthand when they're doing a forum or even sometimes a blog post? Isn't the point of shorthand to deliver a quick message? Is it really that necessary to bang out a barely readable text in order to be "first poster", or "first person to make an absolute ass out of themselves"?

And alot of the time I find myself shaking my head at the incredible asininity of the things written in these things! I mean sure, some people say there's no such thing as a bad idea, but WOW. Some of you people are very demanding and seem to have this sense of self entitlement towards game companies as to "what should really be in this game", some of the stuff you guys come up with is absolutely ridiculous!

I'm not going to get into specifics because I fear that I'm going to be nailed for nitpicking or trolling or whatever you little kids think I'm trying to do. So you know what, go ahead, search my posts and my blog as many times as you want for trolling or nitpicking or whatever and get the moderator to censor me, because in the end it doesn't really matter. I can get over being flamed for having an intelligent, critical opinion.

Oh, and by the way, here's a tip for everyone who wishes to look half intelligent on the boards. There's a little button that says "check spelling" if you can't spell without the aid of a computer, then that button can help you come off as less of a special ed student.

Later.

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I don't know if I'm alone here, but where's the clutch on racing wheels? I'm the kind of weird guy who even uses manual transmission with his controller, so why isn't there a freaking clutch on any new racing wheels? If I wish to go for realism in my video games, I want to be able to feel (that's another problem) the engine shift smoothly into a higher gear. And get some decent force feedback! Now!

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But I realise that I'm just rambling on now essentially just for the sake of rambling on, so what I came here to say is:

HELL YEAH, PORTALS!

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Okay, When you want to tell someone that something is two feet to their left, you say it's over THERE.

When you want to tell someone a disparaging remark about another persons physical appearance, you say THEIR eyes creep you the hell out.

And when you wish to tell someone that your friend will be at the party momentarily, you say THEY'RE going to be here soon, and we are going to get so fu****g drunk.

If you wish to continue to use the English language in your posts to prove how much of a humongous dumbass you are, then please at least use correct spelling and grammar. It helps those of us who have passed grade 6 English decipher what in the hell you're trying to get at with your rambling, disjointed post.

I don't know how many people will read this, but if it at least teaches one idiot how to use the language they've apparently settled on correctly, then it will be put to good use.

Don't worry, my next blogs wont be as filled with contempt for morons as this one was .... or maybe they will be.

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