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We waited with her until about 10:15am but she then insisted we leave to get back home where our 15 year old was looking after the 9 and 7 year olds! Just as we got home ( about 12 ) I got a text saying they were about to take her down. 

**UPDATE** Just spoke to one of the nurses and surgery is underway! Might not hear anything until 7pm ish though so a few more hours of this waiting

I'll be taking the kids to see her tomorrow afternoon

Think I might go and game for a while to try and take my mind off it.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

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I've been spending a lot of time pairing up characters so that they get married and then I get to meet their time-traveling  progeny. It's fun to see what characteristics the parents pass on to their kids and get an extra perspective on this doom-and-gloom future everyone is ranting on about. It's also rewarding to fill out my party with new blood; the excitement of new life offers a soothing counter to the anguish of life lost.

Today I mourn Vaike.

Look at this cocky bastard. Weird chains dangling off his neck collar like so much Ylissian bling. Can't be bothered to keep track of his axes. Refers to himself not just in the third-person, but makes himself into a proper noun: "The Vaike." No shirt, no helmet, no problem. 

But what a soldier! When he torqued those practice-hardened muscles back and uncorked a ferocious axe strike, the Risen rose no more. He was a fierce fighter and a trustworthy ally, lending unbending support and an easy smile to all his compatriots. We'll all remember "Teach" sharing his strategies and tips freely, solicited or no. His confidence, his self-assurance, and his gusto made us all better soldiers, better allies, and better friends. 

Vaike, for your rockin' hair, your rockin' bod, your rockin' attitude, and your rockin' axe, we salute you. Rock in peace.

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He didn't pull me from a burning building or rescue me from a frozen lake. But when I was suffering from a depression that had me constantly on the brink of suicide, he was the man who kept me on this side of the abyss. 

He was my therapist, but that word is so clinical, and doesn't accurately describe who Dan was to me. Friend? Yes, even though I usually only saw him in the confines of the office of a mental health clinic in Warren, PA. Father figure is more accurate, I suppose, but whatever you call him, he was the one that convinced me that life was worth living. His office was the safest place on the planet. It was there that I felt most vulnerable, and most cared for. He is the reason I am still here today, rather than a memory, or at very least, rather than a human husk, withering away in a hospital for the remainder of my days. 

He shared with me stories that a professional therapist shouldn't generally be sharing with his patient, and yet it was exactly the right thing to do in my case. I would record myself playing Christmas music on cassette tape and give it to him as a Christmas gift. I went to a church where he was a guest pastor one Sunday and marveled that this man could radiate such kindness and generosity. I read about his exploits with his boy scout troop, and wondered if those young men knew how fortunate they were that someone like Dan could be in their lives. 

I also know that Dan was an imperfect man. But I wasn't prepared to discover that several weeks ago, this man responsible for me being here to share this story today went missing. Vanished from his house, his wallet and keys left behind. No note, no goodbye to his wife Penny, no sign of a break in, no indication that something was wrong. He was simply gone. 

The police have searched, and the Conewango Creek and local branch of the Allegheny River have been scoured. No one knows if Dan, at the age of 69, wandered off to take his own life, or fell into the river and was washed away. Perhaps he was discontent and troubled, and decided to travel where he couldn't be found and live out his last days in peace. Perhaps he simply went for a walk to some unknown place and suffered a heart attack, and hasn't been found in spite of the exhaustive search. 

But it doesn't seem that Dan is coming back. 

The last time I talked to Dan was a few years ago. He sent me an email entitled "The real story...for those with a warped sense of humor." It was a typical viral email that people might send, this one with pictures of fairy tale princesses as they might have ended up. Snow White with her several babies and a good-for-nothing prince sitting in front of the TV. An obese Little Red Riding Hood wandering through the forest, sipping on a Big Gulp and carrying a basket full of bread. It certainly wasn't the most socially sensitive communication, but it's what I have. 

I love you Dan. I hope that you are close to God now. 

Edit: My mom shared this YouTube link with me of Dan leading vespers in 2012. http://youtu.be/dmVaCIoxeI0

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See? I told you.

I can't remember which was my first experience playing video games, or the year, but it was about 1991. I do remember having two babysitters growing up; family friends with kids of their own. One family had an NES while the other had an Atari 2600. Eventually the second family bought a Nintendo and a year later my brother and I were given one. Its the only time I can remember my dad actually playing video games with us: the Super Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt combo game.
I went through having an original Game Boy, a Game Boy Pocket, a Game Gear, a Nomad, a Genesis, and a crappy computer. These were the systems that I grew to love gaming on and would borrow games from friends and vice versa.
My brother and I always hoped to be the first one home after school so we could play whatever new games we had on whatever console we had then. I was rarely obsessed with the games I had but ones such as AAHHH!! Real Monsters, Vectorman, MUSHA, and even Bubsy (I was young, don't judge me) always captivated my attention.

I remember being obsessed with Pokemon in 6th and 7th grade. I would always look forward to waking up on weekdays before school just to watch the Pokemon cartoon. I had the comics from Nintendo Power, I had toys, I had plush dolls, the strategy guide, and the cards. Still do. They're in a box in my closet. A little while after going to a meeting for the Pokemon card game I just gave up on it all. It must have had something to do with the old-looking guy that was sitting around playing a card game with a bunch of kids and being serious about it.
A demo of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater came about via a Pizza Hut promotion and I was instantly captivated with the sport. I credit the Pro Skater series with turning me towards gaming even after going through a phase of being a skateboarding poser. After seeing how skateboarders treated each other and how no one was willing to teach me to ride one I delved into gaming more.

Some time in the summer before 10th grade I bought a Gamecube and for a year I only had Super Smash Bros Melee to play. I discovered EB Games and unfortunately sold off most of my collection, which included almost all of my PS1, NES, GameBoy, Genesis, and some PC games.
A year later I bought myself an Xbox when I read that if Monolith were to make a Shogo 2, it would be on that console. Shogo: Mobile Armor Division was the first PC FPS game I ever played. Not Doom, not Quake, and to this day it remains in my all-time favorites. I played on a crappy, over-priced, underpowered Gateway computer that could barely run flash games well enough. A friend loaned me some RAM and from there things got better. I could finally play games in a slightly higher quality. I also got interested in computers and fixing them. I had to otherwise the computers we had would succumb to viruses. But despite my best efforts they would always get ruined. I don't know how many times I've had to reformat the computers we've had but it was a pain to lose my saved games after pouring hours and hours into them.

My childhood hero was Sonic the Hedgehog. I had a plush doll, still have it in fact, that I carried around with me everywhere for over a year. I never took it to school because I was afraid of it being stolen or ripped by some other kid. Ironically that didn't help because the neck ripped open while it was in the wash. I watched the SatAM cartoons near-religiously, I had a couple of comic books, I had the Tiger handheld, I have a VHS tape of the cartoons, I had toys galore. Eventually I just grew up and Sonic lost his attitude when the Dreamcast came around.
I remember being in middle school and a friend of mine would always badmouth the Dreamcast for whatever reason we could find. We were Sony fanboys and we were dedicated to the console. Yet, whenever I looked and read about the games being released I was secretly envious of it. Oh how wrong I was to look down upon the console. A few years ago I bought a used DC and a few games for it. I can't believe how ignorant I was back then.
The original blue blur will always be one of my heroes, not this green-eyed poser you see in today's games that can't do anything right.

My favorite game of all-time is Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 on the Dreamcast. The graphics are superior to the other consoles, even PC, and it just had this overall feeling of completion. It's the definitive version of Pro Skater 2 in my mind. Neversoft asked fans what they wanted and they implemented those ideas into the game. The level editor, the create-a-skater, an expanded soundtrack, Spider-Man as a secret character, and a couple more pros added to the already amazing line-up made THPS2 the perfect way to do a sequel. I own almost every version of Pro Skater 2 with the exception of the Mac and iPod versions.

I'm a collector with a preference for the old school. My current collection total sits at over 400. Lately though I've been feeling that its all for nothing so my collecting has slowed down significantly.
I have some rare gems in my collection such as M.U.S.H.A. and Legend of Dragoon as well as a few others.
I was never really into RPGs and RTSs. They seem to be clones of one another. But I'm coming around: I've been playing a few of each and, although I'm not awestruck by them, they can at least hold my attention.
Sim racing is my favorite genre. It takes more skill than arcade racing and has helped me with driving in real life.

I don't consider myself a professional, and I'm certainly not an amateur. I'm not hardcore or casual. I don't dispute console faults and advantages. I'm a gamer. I find the best of each and play them as equals. Fanboys are the most annoying, ignorant, and selfish beings on the internet.
I've been expanding my gaming horizons lately and have played some Magic the Gathering.
I also want to start a DnD group, but I can't find anyone willing to delve into the adventures with me.

This is part of where I stand when it comes to gaming. I hope, if you've been paying attention to my blogs any, that you get a general sense of who I am gaming-wise. Without video games, I don't know where I'd be. They've been there through rough times and they've also caused some great moments (double kill headshot with a single bullet in SOCOM:Combined Assault. No one else will ever see that). I feel like I'm a part of something big and that's how I like it. Gaming crosses so many cultural boundaries and is being pushed forward by people with bright ideas. I enjoy those ideas. I wish many others would as well.

Keep Playing.

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The last few weeks have been completely insane. My boss left for another great opportunity and I was mentally bracing myself to help pick up the slack until we found a replacement, but I was asked to take on the role of Editor-in-Chief. (!!!) It took me a week to let it all sink in. After having worked closely with Ricardo here at GameSpot, I knew that this job was not going to be easy and that I will likely be stressed out permanently. (but I still love it!) To be honest, when I made the decision to switch careers and move into video games, I really wasn't gunning for any kind of position. I just wanted to be surrounded by games and talk about games all day. Turns out I am pretty organized and apparently management likes that I've been so incredibly lucky and blessed, and I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for the wonderful people I've worked with at GameSpot, especially Ricardo, who taught me almost everything I know. (about yelling at people mostly. lol, just kidding. No not really.)

I still really like this community and I've been a part of it for so long, it's hard to leave but I'm excited to see what my team at GR can do. I'm on Facebookand Twitterso please stay in touch, and if you want to keep up with Bailey, he's got his own Facebook page and Tumblr too.http://thingsiputonmydogshead.tumblr.com/

Even if I'm not going to blog here, I will check PMs and lurk on YOUR blogs. Those of you who have messaged me in the past, know that I will always respond

GamesRadar has a lot of exciting plans in the next year, so I hope that we cross paths again on the internets!

http://www.gamesradar.com/ping-radar-letter-editor/

xoxo

Sophia & Bailey

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Perched on my tower of critical analysis, I knew that Bastion was a great game. There's an enticing relationship between your actions and the story that I've rarely seen before, and the delicate artistic style presented a serene landscape that was easy to get lost in. Fast combat kept diverse by new weapons and varied enemies demanded focus. But if you've played any of Bastion, you already know the intricacies that make it tick.

Even though I was fully aware of all the things Bastion was doing really well, I didn't ultimately care. I can point to the extremely linear level design or iffy long-range aiming as slight problems distracting me from the tasty goodness everyone seems to have been devouring, but I know that would be disingenuous. There aren't any tangible problems in Bastion that could leave me with a feeling of indifference; I just didn't have any emotional connection. It happens in every art form. No matter how impressive the craftsmanship is, it won't resonate with everyone. I resolved to keep playing, because it was still fun and I wanted to see what lay ahead, but it felt more like a duty than a passion.

And then I reached The Singer.

When the level began, the narrator started talking about something I couldn't quite understand. "There the kid hears something he ain't heard in a long while. How's it go again?" Up to this point, the narrator talked about your story and actions, things The Kid had experienced or was doing first hand. I could hear, faintly in the background, an acoustic guitar start up. Quietly at first, and then louder, with vocals slowly coming in. A woman's voice, beautiful, sad. The narrator continued, after a short pause, "That's the one.... timeless."

And I was finally invested in the world. The structure of this level is the same as the previous ones – switches, enemies, rising pieces of land forming a path – but it was much easier. Enemies were less prevalent than before. The narrator quieter. It was about the music, and it was mesmerizing. "Some day your bird is gonna fly."

It's not often that I play a game that fully realizes the emotionally potential of a masterful piece of music presented in just the right way. Whereas the visuals and combat moved me on an intellectual level, it wasn't until I was struck by the melancholy beauty of this song that my emotional side was piqued. I stood still for long stretches, just soaking it in, hoping it wouldn't stop. And when I reached the end, a singer was sitting in the grass. I had initially assumed the narrator had broken the fourth wall by recognizing the soundtrack, but that wasn't the case at all. The Singer was as real as The Kid. And I stood next to her, listening to the words and the music repeat over and over.

Zia's Song

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Ryan

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