Should have taken a lesson from the Balkans!

Look at this crackpot idea that we had in 1920 of abolishing individual

nations and putting them together under the Yugoslav flag.

It led to disaster and the EU has sadly made the same tragic mistake.

It is only now becoming obvious to everyone.

Except the U.K. who didn't want any part of it in the first place.

and Germany who is the only nation who has prospered from the Eurozone.

belongs in this topic....the Eurozone has long qualified for joke status

----------------------

BEFORE MARRIAGE:

Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait!

Wife - Do you want me to leave?

Husband - No! Don't even think about it.

Wife - Do you love me?

Husband - Of course! Always have and always will!

Wife - Have you ever cheated on me?

Husband - No! Why are you even asking?

Wife - Will you kiss me?

Husband - Every chance I get!

Wife - Will you hit me?

Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?!

Wife - Can I trust you?

Husband - Yes.

Wife - Darling!

AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top.

--------------------------------

FOR fans of X-Factor:

Cowell wants body frozen after death'

why wait?

----------------------------------

British rescue operation.

Use stealth tactics to get into the enemy building.

Use silenced weapons and gas to disable combatants and avoid detection.

Rescue victim quickly and without taking any casualties.

American rescue operation.

Roll up in Hummers, because they are cool. Throw grenades at building

until everyone inside is dead, because explosions are f''ing cool.

Drag corpse of person you just 'rescued' out of the rubble.

stick American flag in the remains then the survivors make a high five.

--------------------------------------

Prince Charles decided to take up jogging.

Every day, he'd jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner.

He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.

"One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout from the curb.

"No! Five pounds!" He would fire back, just to shut her up.

This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence.

He'd run by and she'd yell, "One hundred and fifty pounds!"

He'd yell back, "Five pounds!"

One day, Camilla decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog.

As the jogging couple neared the working woman's street corner, Prince Charles realised she'd bark her 150 pound offer and Camilla would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings.

He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his wife.

As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, he became even more apprehensive than usual.

Sure enough, there was the hooker.

He tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past.

Then, from her corner, the hooker yelled, "See what you get for five pounds, you tight bastard?!"

------------------------------------------------------

mistake on the BBC News online.

The headline said that Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall had broken a leg but

the photo alongside was of Shergar.

---------------------------------------------------------

Scientists have shown

that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year.

If you do the maths, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance of about

10 metres from the earths surface.

This would explain the death of the dinosaurs. The tall ones, anyway.

------------------------------------------------

Medal of Honour has been described as the most controversial game ever

because there's a level where you have to shoot Yanks in Afghanistan.

So, you play as an American then?

------------------------------------------------

Afghans are unable to understand or comprehend such a violent massacre.

A lone gunman running around executing people for no reason.

Americans learn about this in school.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

They should have captured Bin Laden alive and made him

continually go through airport security for the rest of his life.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think its great that female pilots are dropping bombs on the Taliban.

It would be even better if they dropped pamphlets that said:

'This bomb was brought to you by Jenny,

who is naked and enjoys drinking, smoking and premarital sex.'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SKY NEWS

David Richards,40, from Caerwys snaps photo of UFO in back garden!

Well sir if you say it's a UFO then you have identified it making it an FO,

if it's landed in your back garden it's not flying thus making it an O.

So David, you have succesfully managed to take a photo of an object in your garden.

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"A Fitting is a Kinect-based art installation that explores the relationship between cultural and personal expectations of body image. The game is an interactive theatrical performance where the player takes the role of a young woman in front of a large mirror, with an audience watching her in its reflection. The audience and the game itself prompts the player to twist, contort and bend his/her body in order to progress. Doing so receives approval from the audience and game, but at the cost of the players discomfort."

Source:

http://www.adittami.com/projects/a-fitting

I came across this while reading an article submitted by the two women who are working on the project on e-feminist.com. The point of the project is to minimize the effect of image conciousness and objectification in popular media, including video games, on girls. 

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A subordinate Claus.

-------

A Pokemon walks into a bar...

It's super effective!

-------

What do you call a cod cowboy?

Fish in chaps.

Okay, now that's out of the way, let's get to the serious meat of this serious blog; sexuality, religion, economy, politics, free speech, Shuma Gorath in "Marvel Super Heroes" instead of Deadpool and, of course, existential views on mortality.

All of these discussion are super lame. Instead, in your comments, tell me your favourite pizza toppings.

Also, I'm on Twitter now.

@PRockliffe

You know you want to.

:-Egonga.

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He didn't pull me from a burning building or rescue me from a frozen lake. But when I was suffering from a depression that had me constantly on the brink of suicide, he was the man who kept me on this side of the abyss. 

He was my therapist, but that word is so clinical, and doesn't accurately describe who Dan was to me. Friend? Yes, even though I usually only saw him in the confines of the office of a mental health clinic in Warren, PA. Father figure is more accurate, I suppose, but whatever you call him, he was the one that convinced me that life was worth living. His office was the safest place on the planet. It was there that I felt most vulnerable, and most cared for. He is the reason I am still here today, rather than a memory, or at very least, rather than a human husk, withering away in a hospital for the remainder of my days. 

He shared with me stories that a professional therapist shouldn't generally be sharing with his patient, and yet it was exactly the right thing to do in my case. I would record myself playing Christmas music on cassette tape and give it to him as a Christmas gift. I went to a church where he was a guest pastor one Sunday and marveled that this man could radiate such kindness and generosity. I read about his exploits with his boy scout troop, and wondered if those young men knew how fortunate they were that someone like Dan could be in their lives. 

I also know that Dan was an imperfect man. But I wasn't prepared to discover that several weeks ago, this man responsible for me being here to share this story today went missing. Vanished from his house, his wallet and keys left behind. No note, no goodbye to his wife Penny, no sign of a break in, no indication that something was wrong. He was simply gone. 

The police have searched, and the Conewango Creek and local branch of the Allegheny River have been scoured. No one knows if Dan, at the age of 69, wandered off to take his own life, or fell into the river and was washed away. Perhaps he was discontent and troubled, and decided to travel where he couldn't be found and live out his last days in peace. Perhaps he simply went for a walk to some unknown place and suffered a heart attack, and hasn't been found in spite of the exhaustive search. 

But it doesn't seem that Dan is coming back. 

The last time I talked to Dan was a few years ago. He sent me an email entitled "The real story...for those with a warped sense of humor." It was a typical viral email that people might send, this one with pictures of fairy tale princesses as they might have ended up. Snow White with her several babies and a good-for-nothing prince sitting in front of the TV. An obese Little Red Riding Hood wandering through the forest, sipping on a Big Gulp and carrying a basket full of bread. It certainly wasn't the most socially sensitive communication, but it's what I have. 

I love you Dan. I hope that you are close to God now. 

Edit: My mom shared this YouTube link with me of Dan leading vespers in 2012. http://youtu.be/dmVaCIoxeI0

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How do you dooooo?

Did you get a hairdooo?

I found dis horse shoe

imma give it TO YOU

I am good

just like a shrew

look  at him run and a chewing on the shooooe

<3

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If any of you reading this have explored Frank Herbert's novels (his most famous is of course the Dune saga) you might know of or have read his novel The Dosadi Experiment.

Tonight I have just come across an interesting paragraph which may or may not explain the original idea behind the now famous game franchise. Of course this could all be a total coincidence, and maybe Bioware simply came up with the same idea.

Anyway, in Herbert's typical style of writing, he begins each chapter with a small preceding piece of text to shed more light on the novel's setting. This particular text is as follows:

Behavioural engineering in all of its manifestations always degenerates into merciless manipulation. It reduces all (manipulators and manipulated alike) to a deadly "mass effect". The central assumption, that manipulation of individual personalities can achieve uniform behavioural responses, has been exposed as a lie by many species but never with more telling effect than by the Gowachin on Dosadi. Here, they showed us the "Walden Fallacy" in ultimate foolishness, explaining: "Given any species which reproduces by genetic mingling such that every individual is a unique specimen, all attempts to impose a decision matrix based on assumed uniform behaviour will prove lethal". - p.95

Assuming it's not the origin of the game's name, the concept of uniform behavioural responses and manipulating people en masse has an interesting parallel with the intentions of the Reapers don't you think? To manipulate entire civilizations along a desired path toward a premeditated destination.

I, for one, am looking forward to kicking some reaper ass next week!

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best lyrics ever. that is all.

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I have nothing else to say.

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e: guess not. This went through.

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