Tank! Tank! Tank! Review

Though it can be fun with friends in short bursts, Tank! Tank! Tank! doesn't have nearly enough depth or content to remain enjoyable for long.

by

Translating an arcade experience into a satisfying home console release is rarely an easy task, and some games would be better off without the attempt. Tank! Tank! Tank! is, unfortunately, one of those games. An enjoyable experience in very small doses with friends, Tank! Tank! Tank! on the Wii U attempts to turn a minuscule amount of content into a full-fledged retail release, and the result is hours of boredom spent playing a game that was never intended to be stretched out for so long.

So many enemies! Why isn't it more fun to destroy them?

You do two things in Tank! Tank! Tank!: You move and you shoot. The controls are straightforward, which makes it easy for even tank novices to jump into the cockpit. Since every button functions the same way, there's never any fumbling for what weapon you want to fire, but that accessibility has a drawback as well. All aiming is automatic, meaning you don't have to manually aim up at enemies above you--the game does it for you.

There is something to be said about the fact that Tank! Tank! Tank! is easy to pick up and understand, but the simplicity comes at the cost of compelling gameplay. The actions you perform quickly become monotonous, which is never a word you should have to use when describing a battle between a tank and a giant robotic building.

Furthermore, the lack of manual aiming can be frustrating when the wrong enemies are targeted or your weapons don't hit where you intended. This won't be much of an issue for new or young players who only want to shoot things, but it can be a detriment to anyone who cares about getting faster clear times and higher mission scores.

Multiplayer was the primary focus, and the game fares better there than it does on your own. Getting together with three friends to blast away at waves of enemies or each other, or to participate in a three-vs.-one My Kong mode match against the player with the GamePad (who plays as a giant robot monkey with his or her face plastered on the head), can be good fun. That last mode feels the most unique, but there's not enough to it to bring your group back after a few matches. The other modes are as basic as they could be, leaving you wanting more after you try them a few times.

Buildings crumble nicely enough, but that often leaves you with a big flat playing field.

There's also a story mode that pits you and another tank (either an AI or a local friend, armed with a Wii Remote or Pro Controller) against level after level of robot enemies, from spiders to bees to giant robot buildings. Missions are short, usually sporting a time limit of about three minutes at most, and you clear them simply by destroying the required number of enemies. So you move, and you shoot until things explode. That, in a nutshell, describes the gameplay. You can occasionally pick up limited ammo for weapons that are more powerful than your standard, unlimited rocket (such as a minigun or more nuke-like firepower), but that's the extent of variety in the mid-level action.

But most damning to the one- and two-player experience is the way the story mode progresses. When you complete a mission, you earn a medal for the tank you used to finish the mission. You unlock tanks with medals, and replaying missions with different tanks earns more medals. That in itself wouldn't be horrible if the game didn't force you to go back and replay missions with different tanks to earn medals in order to progress through the story. So it's not always enough to complete a series of missions, which are often already too similar to each other (recycling the same handful of enemies and environments time and time again), but you're also required to replay the same boring missions over and over again just to see the unsatisfying story through.

To unlock the penultimate 35th mission of the game, you are required to have 100 medals. Do the math on how many times that requires you to revisit tired content, and it doesn't paint a pretty picture. Different tanks do play slightly differently from one another, but not nearly enough to make the levels feel fresh again and again. New tanks also have the downside of being available only to the first player, with the second player or AI being restricted to a basic "support" tank.

Playing as a giant robot in the My Kong multiplayer mode and crushing your friends can be fun for a short while.

You can play the game entirely on the GamePad screen and take pictures of players with the controller's camera. You can also turn your tank by tilting the GamePad left and right, but it's more of a curse than a blessing. Turning this way is too slow to be effective, and you might find yourself turning unwillingly if you accidentally tilt the GamePad.

Tank! Tank! Tank! feels like a game that was designed for short bursts of gameplay, back in the arcade where it probably deserved to stay. It would have been at least a little more acceptable as a budget-priced game. As it is, this isn't a game to even consider if you're only interested in playing alone, and it's priced too high for its sparse multiplayer offering. At the end of the day, Tank! Tank! Tank! isn't really broken; it's just boring.

The Good
Easy to pick up
The Bad
Boring and monotonous gameplay
Artificially extended story mode content
Not much variety in enemies or environments
Not enough content to justify purchase price
4
Poor
About GameSpot's Reviews

About the Author

/ Staff

Britton Peele is a freelance writer for GameSpot and a Digital Entertainment Editor for The Dallas Morning News. Find him on Twitter @BrittonPeele.

Discussion

1 comments
AlexFili
AlexFili

It costs way too much, I would pay at the most £8-10

digi-demon
digi-demon

Just picked this up for £21.99 - sogfu lamespod :P

HADES2001
HADES2001

i am a really big fan of earth defense force and was hoping this was the cartoonish version.

Will still get it when it gets in a bargain bin for 15-20 bucks

Nexozable
Nexozable

Wasn't really expecting it to be good anyway.

 

Arcade ports seem to suffer tremendously on consoles, regardless if it's 360/PS3/WII U, they should just stay in the arcade... Eating our spare change... The whores.

MAS_LUDICREN
MAS_LUDICREN

I am having a lot of fun with my wiiU 32 gig, it ROXXXXX

firstclassgamer
firstclassgamer

I dont know this game still looks fun but Im not paying 60 for it

Cymru94
Cymru94

This game looks Crap! Crap! Crap! .

abHS4L88
abHS4L88

It if was an eShop title, that would've made it far more appealing. 

Eikichi-Onizuka
Eikichi-Onizuka

The game still looks fun to me, but not $50 worth. I have a feeling this will drop like a stone though so should be <$20 by the time I get a WiiU.

aniforprez
aniforprez

if anyone expected this to be a game-changer for the wiiu or hoped it would be the core game for the wiiu, you're a stupid moron. never expected this to be any good and when i found out this arcade title was to be sold at $60, i knew this would "tank". does this mean nintendo's console will fail? hell no. there are better games coming and we'll obviously see better sales of better games like lego or rayman.

 

and personally, zombiu rocked the hell out of me. that review was a pice of shit

Venom_Raptor
Venom_Raptor

Lol all I'm seeing is bad games for the Wii-U so far

MafiaMusic
MafiaMusic

both tank! tank! tank!, and zombiU--- WiiU's only promising exclusives recieved scores worthy of a scum stain. Good job Nintendo, worthless sub 5.0 jank and old ass Xbox 360 ports from 1~2years ago. 

 

WiiU is abysmal, burn it with fire. wait for a real console.

Gesyma
Gesyma

So by comparison ZombiU is only .5 better than this load of crap?!  HAHA... wow.  Really makes the ZombiU review seem even more ridiculous... egg on face much Gamespot?

ivory_soul
ivory_soul

This is actually an arcade game port (not sure where they are all located) but there is one in Round One in Rowland Heights, CA. I see people playing the game their and it doesn't look very fun.

JustPlainLucas
JustPlainLucas

OH NOES A 4.0 TEH WII U IS DOOOOOOOOOOMED!!! (But I"m glad I got one anyhow)

Telekenesis123
Telekenesis123

To ad insult to injury it looks like a ripoff of Earth Defense Force 2017 and Insect Armageddon.

Gxgear
Gxgear

Tanked! Tanked! Tanked!

SolidTy
SolidTy

Too much for too little.

 

I played this in the arcades, so I didn't expect much. I may pick this up for $10 dollars down the road.

kavadias1981
kavadias1981

This would have made more sense as a cheap eshop title. Nobody is going to be stupid enough to pay full price for this. At least I hope people aren't that stupid :S 

swimbearuk
swimbearuk

tl;dr, got bored after a few paragraphs and skipped to the end.

thom_maytees
thom_maytees

Knowing the lack of hype and the premise, I am not surprised it received this reception by GameSpot.

sun_spirit
sun_spirit

 @Venom_Raptor

New Super Mario Bros U: 8.5Assassin's Creed III : 7.5

Mass Effect 3: Special Edition: 9.0

Call of Duty: Black Ops II: 8.0

Batman Arkham City: AE: 8.5

NintendoLand: 8.0

 

Quofan
Quofan

 @MafiaMusic

There are people like yourself who are so obviously desperate to see the Wii U fail. It's pretty sad really. Indicitive of the rampant fanboyism and obsession with scores that made me abandon GS and go to Giant Bomb instead.

 

 I hope all consoles and systems do well, because it means more games to choose from if the market increases. Which is obviously good for gamers. I would love for the Sega Saturn and Dreamcast to have succeeded too, as Ihave been gaming for years but there were many games I felt I missed due to those consoles failures.

 

Apparently the Wii U is abysmal even though most consoles never have particularly brilliant games at launch besides first party exclusives. I have never bought a console at launch and never will for that reason. I seem to remember the PS3 launch had nothing more than giant enemy crabs yet some idiot paid over a grand for one pre-launch. As for the 360, most of it's only good games were made by Rare on launch day and the rest were ports of games from the previous generation.

 

Of course the most significant point you've missed is that this is one person's opinion, and not objective fact. No matter how much you wish it was, in order to decide if its good or not, you have to play it for yourself.

kavadias1981
kavadias1981

 @MafiaMusic Gamespot's Zombi U review is completely unrealistic. They were expecting a shooter, not a survival horror, and so they penalised the game for it. Look at what they did with poor RE6. Did that deserve a 4.5 too? And Mickey power of Illusion an 8.0? Other reviewers were slating that game. They even gave the short, unresponsive Warioware Smooth Moves a 9.1! Make of that what you will.  

abHS4L88
abHS4L88

 @MafiaMusic 

So it's Nintendo's fault? 

 

So by that logic, I can call Sony sh*t and their Vita a piece of crap since their "biggest" FPS game Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified turned out to suck, but no, it's not Sony's fault, it's Activison. 

Klagmar1
Klagmar1

If you bought a Wii U for those games, you probably should stay away from the system anyway.

Antic_Dreamer
Antic_Dreamer

What do you want... people are enough stupid to pay a full price for WiiU, that must be cut to 99$ - and it would be still too much to consider buying it...

MafiaMusic
MafiaMusic

 @Klagmar1 yeah, maybe if i wanted the next yearly  "New" <-ROFL super mario brothers 2d game, cause even with a flopped 8.0 thats all you get on Wiik-U.

kavadias1981
kavadias1981

 @Antic_Dreamer I am talking about the game here. Why did you feel the need to bring up a console? That is completely unrelated. 

abHS4L88
abHS4L88

 @Antic_Dreamer 

No, they're not stupid, the ones who dog a new device before giving it a change are stupid prejudice jerks. 

 

We're the ones keeping the industry alive, you (and others like you) are the ones who'll crash it into the ground.

Tank! Tank! Tank!

  • Arcade Games
  • Wii U
Tank! Tank! Tank! is a bombastic battle-party game where you will find a fantastic armament of tanks and weapons at your disposal to dispatch the enemy threat.
ESRB
Everyone 10+
All Platforms
Cartoon Violence, Comic Mischief
Check out even more info at the Tank! Tank! Tank! Wiki on Giantbomb.com
Average Score See all 17 Player Reviews
4.5
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