In Courier Crisis - GT Interactive's latest homage to slackers everywhere - you play a grunged-out bicycle messenger travelling at breakneck speeds through busy thoroughfares and crowded alleys. In the game, you will round corners at tremendous velocities, dodging oncoming traffic as you knee and elbow pedestrians into the road. You will even be afforded the opportunity to clear the entire height of a garbage truck in a single vault. A fantastic concept with endless possibility, but one that was executed so poorly here, even the most radical bunny-hop couldn't save the resultant product.
Courier Crisis seems to offer a lot from the outset, but a combination of elements makes the game a disappointment. Sure, you can hop on car hoods and bike around the game's 3D-rendered streets. Sure, you can you beat up police officers, run over helpless grandmas, and kick doggies. Sure, you can collect assets and purchase improved bikes after each mission. But your bicycle's sloth-like response to the controller will soon supplant the previous novelties with mere feelings of frustration. Compound this with boring levels and humor that tries way too hard, and this frustration is replaced with the act of pressing the "off" button on your PlayStation.
The graphics don't help the situation too much either. Blotchy, repetitive textures and jerky animation that is sorely in need of more frames characterizes each Chinatown street and Skid Row alley. Of course, this makes the exciting act of performing an aerial jump or table-top (different tricks award the cyclist with various power-ups) - or even recklessly slamming into an oncoming police car - less than exciting activities.
In the end, Courier Crisis is a game for people who are endlessly entertained by second-rate Beavis and Butthead-esque humor and wacky stunts, but not one for serious PlayStation gamers. Stay away from it at all costs.