I'll, really, I'll be indebted to them forever.
I'm a Junior in High School. After all that's happened before, I swore I'd never fall in love again. On second thought, I'd swear I'd never actually fall in love. After looking back on past crushes, I saw that they were all just out of lust, and not love. This time, it's different. At least I think so. She's new at my school, she went to a nearby high school last year. She's a senior, and she's in my Foods class. In the beginning, I wanted to be friends with her. She was new here, and didn't like my school at first (she told me that directly), so I figured I'd try to make it easier for her. I guess I got a bit too attached, and ended up asking her out without even knowing her for a year. To my suprise, she said yes. It wasn't anything major, not like, the two of us or anything, but I asked her if she wanted to come hang out with me and a couple friends at a park over our thanksgiving break. I ended up canceling it, one, because I didn't want to do it, and two, not enough people could come and a friends girlfriend had to go to urgent care. I kept in contact with her over the break, maybe like, every couple of days. I still am, but not as much. Ever since then....it's been different. Like, she doesn't sound interested around me anymore when I talk to her. When we found out our birthdays were within three weeks of the other, it was an apathetic "that's cool" when she told her friend "ha! i beat you!". I know why, it's because she knows that I like her. We've pretty much been ignoring each other since then, every other day except for when we actually cook in that class, and we're not even in the same groups anymore, so that's gone. I know that's partly my fault, I could be actually making an effort to talk to her, but if i'm the "nicest person" she says I am, wouldn't she be making even the smallest effort to talk to me too? She probably thinks that I'm after her for her looks....she's had only one ex that I know of. I've got to make the next move, you know. I want to ask her to that same park again, for the same reason. I just don't know where to go from here...
I know it's love this time. When I make her laugh, I feel like I'm on top of the world. If she cried, I know I'd be right there to find any way to make her feel better. As far as what I know about her, we have a lot in common, you know, things like music taste. She said she was emo last year, and hell, so was I. The only thing we don't have in common is that I play video games, and I'm sure she doesn't. If this works out...damn. Even if it only lasts through this year...
The thing is, I look back on this, and it creeps me out. Then, I think about it more, and the principle of this has changed me as a person, and it's someone that just makes me feel awesome, you know? I feel like I'm more of a wreck than I was last year...
But....ha. :D Sorry for the long-winded explanation, it was a lot to explain. All I'm looking for is a suggestion. That's it.
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