Mr. Self Destruct/Ruiner/The Downward Spiral, whichever you choose

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Lately I've been lashing out at people. Not at anyone here on GS, mind you, but I have been doing it nonetheless. I didn't think I was capable of it, but instead of addressing the real problem, I'm attacking other people (though often times they deserve it.) No, the real problem is me. I'm not helping anybody; I'm not much use to people. I think I'm going to take some time off GS, though I've hardly been posting for most of the year. See you guys (and gals) around.

This Devil's Workday

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Oh internet drama, how I love you so. I'm going to keep this short because no one really cares - not even me - but I thought I'd give my two cents on the matter of The Foreign Grounds (Note: whenever I say TFG I am referring to the place, not the fine user the_foreign_guy).

Far be it for me to demonize every user at TFG. I have been there plenty of times, and even have an account. Though over the months, one board in particular became sort of a cesspool for GS hate. Normally the hate would center around mods or admins, or even the state of the community itself. I use 'cesspool' in a flattering way, really. It's not that there's a bunch of trolls burning a sculpture of "GS" in effigy (if that's even possible) there, and for the most part it is an alright community. Then the drama came in.

Particular users who convene at TFG had it in their right minds to troll GS. Did they plan it at TFG? No. At the surface, TFG is just coincidental. Sure, they go to TFG, but they probably talk over MSN. Does that make MSN a bad place? Of course not, and I don't want to outright demonize TFG that way either. The problem is that many users hate GS with a sort of passion that would probably be slated by just ignoring the site altogether. That wasn't the case.

Trolling a site should never be condoned. If you don't like a site, simply stop going to it. If you don't like the community, go ahead and complain on another site, but it'd be in everyone's interests to just forget the site completely. This is a plea to everyone to just please let this go. If you don't like GS, stop coming. If you dislike TFG because of the trolling on their part, ignore them too. I believe TFG has been trolled by GS users, and as I said: it should never be condoned. Simply stop going to a site if you don't like it. I don't know why one has to say that more that once. To everyone of GS and TFG, let's all just hold hands and sing songs. Unless you don't like one-another, and in that case you can go to the corner and do something else. Thank you.

Wake Up

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Hate is a strong word. There was a time when I didn't really hate anybody, or anything. But over the past few months, hate has begun to grasp my heart. There is a man, a boy rather. Whenever his name is mentioned, it fills me with disgust and jealousy. The latter is yet another emotion I have not felt until now. No, this boy has changed everything, and I feel like this is going to be some stupid blog post where nothing is fixed, and no one cares. It will be.

Am I above mentioning this boy's name? No. His name is Tom. Yes, Tom. He is a scared, little boy who will beat you down when things don't go his way. I suppose I'm doing the same thing now. Why do I hate Tom? It's a pretty long story that no one will care about, so let's just say it involves a girl; a woman, rather. See, I began to feel strong emotions for this woman (and I still do up to this day), but she is seeing Tom. You can see where the jealousy starts to kick in. But what about disgust? Well, Tom found out and came after me. No big deal, right? They're going out, and they obviously love each other, so why should I pry any further?

Well, Tom suffers a crippling disability that must be brought up: he has an ego the size of an elephant. Does he hide the fact? No, he knows his weakness, and will mention them if asked. That's commendable. But no, that doesn't make it right. You see, he has a great knack for putting himself above anyone who opposes him. It's his nature. The fact of the matter is, this Tom hates me, too. I'm not sure if I hate him as much as he hates me, but what can I do? He won't confront me. He threw me down, but I came right back up. What did he do? Well, he's ignoring me. Then he started estalking me. He won't be the 'man' he thinks himself to be, and confront me. What do you have to lose, Tom? Nothing, really. The only person who has anything to lose is me, but I don't even care anymore.

So I guess you could consider this an open letter to him. Telling him to talk to me about why he hates me, and why I shouldn't hate him in return. I always thought I was a decent person, but it appears I'm not. I'm as dark as the heart of any human being. Is it nature as well? Who cares. Tom, I have everything to lose. Come. Beat me down, and tell me what I really am, because I'd like to hear it. If you really are above me, show me. Tell me something, Tom, tell me what I want to hear. I'm ready to lose more self-esteem, and I need your help.

Satin in a Coffin

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Cats. What can you say, they're cute, adorable, and scary as all hell. Don't believe me on the last part? Well, this story should infuse the very fear I have for cats into you, the poor sap -- I mean reader --, and then some. Cutekitten6_18 loves cats, but she's about to learn the same lesson in this horror-hole I call THE ZAKKRO ZONE.

It was a dark and stormy night, but actually it was a pretty calm night, though still somewhat dark. Cutekitten6_18 was on the computer when all of a sudden she saw her door open slightly, apparently on its own. She gets up and carefully creeps towards the door, when something brushes up against her leg; it's her cat, Jessie [whom I just made up] and she says "Silly cat, don't scare me like that!" She begins to pet Jessie, when she hears someone say "Cutekitten, beware!" in a spooky voice, though more of an exaggerated spooky voice that someone speaks in to mock someone who's easily scared. "Who said that?!" she bellowed, when she looks down and sees Jessie's lips move: "Cutekitten, I have dire news. Tonight is Hollowe'en, and the Night of Furry is upon us!" Cutekitten gets up and starts talking to herself, wondering whether her cat is really talking to her, or if she herself had too much catnip. "Cutekitten, you must escape this town! And not just because this is New Jersey, you need to escape now or else the furries will find you!" Cutekitten pulls herself together, begins walking slowly towards Jessie and says "Okay, okay, one thing first: Have you always been capable of talking?" Jessie just nods his head, and Cutekitten takes a deep breath then continues "Okay, secondly, what is the "Night of Furry"? Please tell me it has nothing to do with the internet's definition of 'furry'." "Oh, but it does," explains Jessie, "it is the night that furries search for "The Chosen One," the one who will lead them until the next Hallow's Eve. Last year was that crazy, old cat-lady downtown, but they've decided to go for someone less-crazy after she began subsidizing catnip [SOCIAL COMMENTARY!]." Cutekitten begins to wonder if this is an elaborate hoax, then says "Jeez, this sounds like some idiotic plot only a certain friend of mine would conjur up."

They sneak out of her house at night, and begin walking up the street. Jessie knows that the furries have a sixth sense when it comes to cat-ladies. He has Cutekitten put on dog-scented perfume, then dressed her up as a pomeranian so no furry will notice who she is. Cutekitten whispers "Are you sure they won't recognize me?" "Of course they won't, your disguise if fool-proof!" replies Jessie, when all of a sudden some furries jump out of the bushes in front of them. Furry A says "There she is! She will be our new master!" and Furries B and C begin to chase after Cutekitten. Jessie manages to get into a cat fight with B and C while Cutekitten tries to escape, but she doesn't want to leave her friend behind. She kicks B off of Jessie, and with C distracted, Jessie was able to pin C down and knock him out. Furry A jumped onto Cutekitten and bit her. "YOU ******* SON OF A ******* **** *******" Cutekitten shouts, and throws A into a dumpster, turns it over, and rolls it down the street into a moving car. Jessie goes up to Cutekitten to examine the bite, and says "Oh no! 'It' will begin soon." "'It'? What do you mean by 'it'?!" Cutekitten asks, then Jessie begins to explain the situation. "It's a known fact that furries are also into the Occult. When the person they have chosen as their master declines, they opt to use black magic to try and 'change' their minds. That bite was one of their dark spells, and it will slowly turn you into a human-cat hybrid, altering your brain, and convincing you that furries are normal, non-sociopathic people." "My god, this is horrible!" Cutekitten yells, then she looks down the street and sees more furries coming after her.

"Cutekitten, we haven't much time, you need to find a car or something that can help us get out of her sooner!" Jessie says, as they're running away from the mob of furries. "I don't know what to do, okay? I never really planned for something this idiotic to happen!" Cutekitten says, as she turns around to see how far ahead they are. Not so far apparently, because as soon as she turns around a furry lunges at her! But soon the furry is on the ground, writhing in pain, with scratches all over his/her/its arms. Cutekitten looks down to see that her nails have grown sharper, and are retractable. "Oh no... no no no no no! This can't be happening!" she says, her voice filled with terror. Jessie tries to calm her down: "Don't worry, I know a way that you can break the curse! We must find the last Furry leader, and convince her to be leader again. That or kill her. The rules are kinda fuzzy when it comes to this stuff. Or should I say "The rules are kinda furry"? Hehehe" he sees Cutekitten has that annoying ":|" face on her, and he says "Sorry" then proceeds to lead her to the crazy, old cat-lady who lives downtown. "I thought they hate this cat-lady. What makes you think they would hire her again?" Cutekitten asks while they're making their way downtown. Jessie explains: "Well, I haven't thought of that [read: the author just realized that plothole], so we're going to have to kill her, I guess. Maybe that will work. Or maybe it'll get us some serious jail time." When they get to the crazy, old cat-lady's house, they see that the door is open. They go inside, quietly, and see that in the living room the furries have boiled the cat-lady and are eating her. "HOLY ****!!!!!!" Cutekitten screams, and the furries begins swarming around her and Jessie. "Well, we're boned," Jessie says as they try and look for a way out, but to no avail. Cutekitten starts getting a tingling feeling, then sees that her hands are turning into paws, she's growing abnormally big ears, and a tail is sprouting from her lower-back. "Well, killing her obviously didn't work," she laments, and she begins to lose hope. Then, darkness starts to envelope her.

Waking up to the cries and purrs of the furries, Cutekitten sees they have put her on a throne made out of mice skulls. "This is just great. Freakin' fantastic," she says rather rudely, and sees that Jessie is being tortured. "You have betrayed us, Jessie," one of the furries says, "you were supposed to initiate her into our club so that we could make her the queen." Cutekitten is astonished to hear this, and yells: "Wait, so you were working for them?!" "They hired me to do it, yes, but I couldn't go through with it! You're such a wonderful woman that I didn't want you to succumb to the evilness that is furrydom! I... I love you, Cutekitten." Cutekitten is -- again -- shocked, and says: "Okay, one: I have a boyfriend. Two: Hell no. Three: Heeeeeeeelll naw. Do you understand these points, or must I repeat them?" "I'm sorry, Cutekitten," Jessie says, quite solemnly, "but I do know a way to save you." "How?" "With this: The Deus Ex Machina!" The furries revel at the site of the DEM, as Jessie somehow breaks free from their torture devise (a mouse-trap, by the way, oh the irony) and begins to wipe out all of the furries. Also, the DEM wipes Cutekitten's mind about this whole ordeal, so she doesn't have mental scars with the rest of her life. Whoo, this DEM does wonders for writers block.

It was a dark and stormy night, but actually... wow, I'm getting deja vu. Anyways, Cutekitten finds herself in her room, but doesn't remember what exactly she was doing. Her boyfriend calls and asks if she wants to go to a Halloween party with him. She accepts, then begins to prepare for the party. They're at the party, when one of her friends says "Wow, Cutekitten! What a great cat costume you have!" She smiles, and says "Uh, costume. Right. Thanks."

***SPOILERS ABOUND*** She still has that black spell on her. How? I don't know, she just does. Deal with it.***SPOILERS ENDED***

What have we learned from this frightening tale? Absolutely nothing, beside the fact that furries are purely Satanical. Really, the only thing frightening was the lousy writing, coupled with the tiresome breaking-of-the-fourth-wall, but I digress. Cutekitten has now been inducted into the twisted Hall of Fame for users with crazy experiences in THE ZAKKRO ZONE.

Rebound

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Oh crap, I forgot to answer those questions:

@Saint: I thought The Hurt Locker was a great war film. The cinematography alone gave it this sort of intensity that I think is being overused nowadays, but it worked really well for this film.

@Samwel: The contract where I had to do that has already expired (i.e. I tore it up and burned the pieces). ;) :P

@Horgen: No, not really. Well, partly yes, but it has to do more with my rotten luck when it comes to womenz. :P

@soul: I do have a 360... I just don't play it. :P

@worthy: Not many, really. :P

And thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, early or otherwise. :)

Anyways, onto the second order of business: The following Zakkro Zone stories will based on the following people:


Cutekitten6_18

soulless4now

The_Zoid

and 2ndWonder.


... in no particular order. Well, okay, maybe in the order I just typed. Either way, be warned! For another dazzling tale of stupid plot points and hideous dialogue shall once again reach your mortal eyes. So yeah, whatever. >_> :P

Like Spinning Plates

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Checklist:

1. Birthday on the 31st - Yay

2. Fall semester starts August 24th - Boo

3. Played the demo for Dissidia: Final Fantasy - Yay

4. Getting my driver's lisence someday soon - Yay

5. Hungry - Boo

6. Saw Moon and The Hurt Locker in the past two weeks - Double-Yay

7. In love - Yay/Boo/Yay/Boo/Yay/Boo

8. New Zakkro Zone story soon? Maybe? Probably? - Yay?

So yeah, I suck at blogging. >_>

PS: With accordance to the blog title, guess the band that performs the song and you get a cookie. Maybe.

PSS: Leave a question in the comments if you want and I'll answer it in the next blog

PSSS: Yeah, I'm copying Cougarhart61 with this PS stuff.

PSSSS: Where is he, anyways?

License to Confuse

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Why is it that I beat most of the games I get at 1-5 in the morning? Guess I just don't have a life or something. >.>


Also, whoever can name the band that performs the song I used as the title for my blog first gets a cookie.

I am no longer a virgin

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That's right. I went to my first concert awhile ago. :D I've been to concerts before, but this is my first concert concert, if you get what I mean. >.>

Twas two bands: Nine Inch Nails and Jane's Addiction.

Nine Inch Nails was, to say the least, amazing. I found out from my brother's friend that we missed March of the Pigs - one of my favorite songs by them - but there were songs that I was around to hear that made up for it. :P

I've never really listened to Jane's Addiction, but they put on a hell of show, I might have to start listening to them some more.

Has anyone here lost their music virginity? Which band(s) took it? :o

Calm Like a Bomb

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In this tale, there is a girl. No, she isn't an ordinary girl, but instead of outright telling you what's special about her, I'll let you find out for yourself. The girl is God_of_duty117. The place: The Hot Cheetos factory is Tuscon, Arizona. The when: approxametly 6:45 pm. Which time zone? THE ZAKKRO ZONE.

"What happened? How did this plan go down the proverbial toilet?" These were the questions God was asking herself while police sirens and flocks of dumbfounded sheep were surrounding the Hot Cheetos factory. "I had people on the inside set up explosives here, I made sure this was the best time to enter the factory and lay out my demands. But no. Something went wrong. Was there a mole in my team?" She grabbed her walkie-talkie and talked into it: "Number 2, how are the negotians going down there?" Number 2 responded: "The pigs aren't listening to our demands. They said the SWAT team's gonna arrive in 10 minutes and if we don't give up, they're told to shoot to kill." Running towards the window, God shouted "****!!!! Do they think we're bluffing? Remind those thickheaded bastards that we have 2-freakin'-tons of C4 scattered around this place, and we aren't afraid to detonate them!" She threw the walkie talkie on the ground before hearing Number 2's reply and ran back to a nervous man tied up with duct tape. "Tell me where you keep your Hot Cheetos!" barked God as she smacked the man across the face. "TELL ME!!!!" Her voice was filled with searing rage. "F-f-f-f-f..." the man began stuttering. "Do you honestly think I won't blow this building up? I will blow up every, single office in this God-forsaken place unless you tell me where you keep your stash of Hot Cheetos!!!" The man was finally able to mutter "I've seen your detonator... it looks like a child's toy, I know you're bluffing..." "Oh really? You know why?" God asked as she creeped up towards the man and took out the 'detonator' from her pocket "Yeah, it does look pretty cheap, huh?" She threw the detonator on the floor and smashed it under her foot. "Aha! I knew you were bluffing, you crazy bi-" said the man in astonishment as God slapped him across the face before he could finish his remark. "Yes, it is a toy. No, I'm not bluffing. You see, I have this funny little gift... I've had it my entire life, and it's really helped me get through some tough times. D'you wanna know what it is?" She was playing with him. "Pyrokenesis. Yup. The ability to create and manipulate fire with my mind! Now those C4 are scattered across this building, and when my mind says so, they will detonate and level this entire building down to the ground. Unless, of course, you tell me where you keep your HOT - ****ing - CHEETOS!!!!" The man was visibly shaking. "Why won't he tell me?!" God thought as she looked around for her walkie talkie, forgetting she had thrown it on the ground, earlier. She picked it up and shouted "Numbers 3 and 4, come up here right this minute, I need you to "persuade" this man into giving me the information I want! Number 2, you keep those cops busy, we'll be outta here in a few minutes." "But the SWAT-" Number 2 answered, but was cut off by Number 3 "Don't worry, mate, she knows what she's doing." God sat on the man's office chair and in a few seconds 3 and 4 arrive. "3 and 4, get this man to tell me where the Hot Cheetos are while I try and visualize where the bombs are; you guys hid them too well, I can't see them very well even with my hightened sense of explosives." God said while Numbers 3 and 4 walked up to the man and took out their 'tools'. "Lets see... ah... hm, I'd never think to look there." God was thinking as she was trying to mentally map out the locations of all the bombs. "Number 1! Number 1! The SWAT's here, you'd better hurry up!" said Number 2 over the walkie talkie, the sound of desparation and fear were in his voice. "Dammit!" God barked as Number 3 got up and said "Numero uno, we got him ta talk. He says there's a vault in the basement."

As she was riding the elevator down to the basement, God pondered how this plan could have possibly gotten this bad without the help of a mole. "How could the cops have arrived here so quickly? Those bums take at least 15 minutes to answer any call, no matter how bad it is." The 'B' on the sign above the elevator lit up and when the doors open, God saw a giant door with a sign up above reading "Employees Only. Authorization Code 77E required." After exiting the elevator, God wondered if C4 could blow up a door so gigantic. "I should have thought this out further..." she thought. She grabbed her walkie talkie and called Numbers 3 and 4 "It says 'Authorization Code 77E' is required to get through. Ask the hostage what I need to do to open the door to the vault." No response. "3 and 4? 3 and 4, do you read me? Do you read me 3 and 4?" Still no response. "Dammit, something's going on up there!" She changed to Number 2's frequency and asked what was happening; no answer. "****" she muttered while she was trying to assess the situation. "Maybe I can't get any signal down here." Then she heard a 'ding' sound and turned to see the elevator has come back down to the basement floor. "Who's there?" she yelled. "This is the police. If you don't cease and desist, we will be forced to fire." She chuckled. "You don't want to play fire with me" she responded. The door opened up, and the cops began to aim and fire when their bullets exploded immediately after they left the barrel. "Is that all you can do?!" God shouted as she began to make the cop's guns explode one-by-one. "This is truly pathetic." She ran up to each and every cop and pulverized them with her martial arts moves. "Wait" she started thinking "if they were able to get down here, then that means. NOOOOO!!!!" She realized her teammates may have met their fate. She let out a blood-curdling scream as every bomb in the building started to go off. The door to the vault blasted open, and she ran over to the vault to see if she could take any loot that might make the whole ordeal completely worthless. As she went into the vault, she saw millions of bags of Hot Cheetos just waiting to be consumed!

She was wading through a sea of Hot Cheetos, forgetting that the building above was crumbling to the ground. All of a sudden the walls got darker and she couldn't move her arms. "What's going on?" she thought as the very world around her was tumbling down faster than the building she had just destroyed.

"What's wrong with her?" A man in a white coat asked the nurse standing next to a cell door. "She finally snapped, doctor. We had to medicate her, put a straight jacket on her and lock her up in this padded cell. It was the only thing we could do, I-" the doctor interrupted: "It's alright, you girls did the right thing. Does she still think she's God?" "I'm afriad so, sir."


***SPOILERS*** God was really in a nut house imagining the whole thing after finding out all the Hot Cheetos in the hospital were gone. The numbered people she was talking to were actually the voices in her head. She tied up a fellow inmate and eventually beat her up, then proceeded to attack the security that was trying to sedate her and stop her violence.***SPOILERS***

That's right, another cop-out "it was all in the main character's head" twist. Sue me. At least we learned one thing from this story: Hot Cheetos are so ****ing good that you'll do anything to get some. Another pointless "moral" to another pointless fable in THE ZAKKRO ZONE.