t3hrubikscube / Member

Forum Posts Following Followers
20416 353 344

t3hrubikscube Blog

A New Friend!

Yesterday I drove with my family to a little town in Minnesota and got my new best friend. She is a 7.5 weeks old cocker spaniel puppy and her name is Willow. :)

The months between my previous dog's death and yesterday were very long and hard. I'd never been without a dog for that long before, and it was weird and I couldn't stand it.

Getting this new dog is something that makes me very happy but also a bit sad. I'm sure some of you think that I'm pretty silly, but I'm far from over my previous dog's death. I dwell on it a lot and can't seem to move past it. Burying her a couple of weeks ago once the ground finally thawed was one of the absolute hardest things I'd ever done.

I should probably focus on the positives though. I'm done with school, my final exams went well, my grades were good despite my poor attendance and general lack of motivation this semester, and I have a new little friend to focus on.

As I type this, my new little friend is curled up and snoring next to me. :3

Worst Weekend

Yesterday was the worst day of my life. It started out like any other day, but the night will forever be etched into my mind.

At 6:30 PM, my lovely dog Becky started acting strangely. She'd been fine all day (and all week, month, year, etc. for that matter), but all of a sudden something was very wrong. I had a horrible feeling about it. She wasn't eating, she wasn't drinking, she was breathing heavily, her nose was the driest it'd ever been, she was visibly uncomfortable, and she wasn't interacting with me at all. I knew that something was horribly wrong, but I didn't know what it could be. She'd recently had a check-up with the veterinarian, and they said that she was incredibly healthy, especially for her age (11.5 years old).

Well, I did everything that I could to make her comfortable. I tried to give treats to her, I tried to make her drink water (even by putting some on my fingers and trying to let her lick it off), I cuddled with her... I did everything that I could. I tried to give aspirin to her after I'd done enough research to see how much dogs can handle. My dad called emergency vets but received no answers. I brought my laptop out to the living room and sat on the couch and watched her, hoping that she was just having an upset stomach or something.

At around 7:45 PM, she sort of crawled over to me. I pet her and picked her up and held her. A few minutes later, she suddenly heaved her last breaths and died.

It hurts so much to type this out. I've done nothing but cry and drink since last night. I am absolutely beside myself. Some people brush dogs and cats off as merely 'pets' and they don't really form any emotional bonds with those 'pets,' but I am far from one of those people. My dog was a family member and a best friend. She was sweet, loving, adorable, funny, intelligent... I loved her more than I can express, and she quite honestly was the only thing in my life that brought me consistent and undivided happiness. I feel so empty and hollow now. This has only reinforced how pointless I feel that life is. I feel like I will never be happy again, and I don't know what to do with myself. I have lost many people before - grandparents, a friend, cousins - and I've lost another dog before, but nothing has made me this sad.

When I was 8 years old we had to put our family dog down, and while that was really difficult and painful, it at least had a sense of closure. We were doing the 'right' thing by ending her suffering, and we were all there for her in her final moments. This time around, we had no f***ing idea that this was going to happen to Becky. My mom was at work and therefore never got to say goodbye. We all thought that she had a few more years left in her due to her seemingly excellent health. Everything was okay until last night, and then it all went to hell. You can never prepare for the death of a loved one, but when it's so spontaneous and random such as it was last night, it's all the more painful. We figure that she had a heart attack, but we don't know for sure. We can't bury her for a couple of months because there's still so much snow on the ground and the ground is frozen.

Everything in this house is so painful because everything reminds me of her. She died in the living room, so being out there is painful. Walking by her full dish of food and bowl of water is painful. Seeing her toys and half-empty boxes of treats is painful. Seeing her leash hanging on a hook by the door is painful. I know that everything becomes easier with time, and I know that I ought to focus on the good things - and believe me, I have 11.5 years FULL of amazing memories with that sweet little dog - but it hurts to do that right now.

Why am I typing all of this out? I don't know.

August 1st, 1999 - February 5th, 2011

Hey FAU folks!!


Recently we started up a little Film Appreciation Union (FAU) group on Last.fm, so if you are a FAU member and use Last.fm, feel free to join our group! We'd love to have you!! ;D



Hello hello!!

I have returned from my very first suspension. :( It was set for two days, but ultimately it ended up being more like three days!! I'd heard copious chilling tales of the infamous suspension system lifting suspensions well past the deadlines, and now I have lived it myself, though admittedly it wasn't as bad as some people's experiences! Oh, but enough about that...:)

As anyone who frequents OT around this time of the year knows, the OTcars is right around the corner. If you somehow have missed this phenomenon, the OTcars is a little awards ceremony done by the posters of OT. First, users are nominated for the various categories, then in the next thread users have to choose among the top-voted nominees and cast their final votes, and finally in the last thread are the results! It is quite exciting.

However, as exciting as that truly is, I would like you to consider taking part in another similar activity. Over on The Daily Happening (TDH), a great forum filled with convivial current GS users as well as intriguing banned GS users, we're in the process of setting up our own little awards ceremony, which is called the NOTcars. I don't want to ruin the fun or spoil the surprises, but let's just say that it's like the OTcars...but with a little twist! ;)

If you are interested in seeing what the NOTcars is all about or if your curiosity has been piqued about TDH itself, go ahead and give this a big ol' click!!

I'll see you there. ;)

Three Years.

Oh no, I missed my three year GameSpot anniversary a couple of days ago.

I successfully have made it out of the Radical Ninja level. I have been on my best behavior lately...sort of.

I've been on winter break since the 14th. It has been great. All of my friends are back in town and it's been wonderful seeing them regularly. I do have to go back to school on the 11th of January, though, but my spring schedule is alright.

We are currently experiencing quite the series of blizzards here in Fargo. I don't mind being snowed in for a few days, even though it will ruin my original New Year's plans. Oh well.

Life is weird, guys.


I'm just going to BRING YOUR ATTENTION to a fun little board on which I post.
It was started by our very own GHlegend77 and it's called The Daily Happening.
It's just kind of a place to relax a little and have fun with fellow users of GS.
I really like it so I thought I'd advertise it here! ;D
Feel free to sign up!

The Daily Happening

Radical ****ing Ninja.

So I got moderated two days ago, but my point loss didn't appear until today, and I noticed that I'm back on level 36, Radical Ninja, yet again, and I am irate.
This is the fourth time I'll be going through this level.
It seems to take a while, and then by the time I'm either almost done or up to level 37, I get moderated for something petty.
I don't care at all about levels, post counts, etc., but there's just something about 'Radical Ninja' that really grinds my gears.
Edit: Well, I just got moderated AGAIN for a two-day old post that was made in the same thread as the previous moderation. Maybe I'll get to go back down to level 35 again. I am livid. :x

In other news, school started about a month ago. It's been fine, albeit very stressful. So far my grades are good. I just have to stay motivated.
A couple of days ago in my programming cla.ss we had to form groups for a semester-long project, and gosh I was stressed about that, as I don't yet know many people in that cla.ss
(in fact at that point I'd only talked to one person...who happens to be the only other girl in the cla.ss), but a group of three guys came up to me and asked me if I'd join their group, and I enthusiastically accepted! I think they want to design some sort of simplistic puzzle game. That should be fun.

Umm...yeah, that's all I have. I am pretty boring.

Road Trip!!

I just returned from a road trip!

My three closest friends and I decided to take a little road trip before summer is over and we all go off to different universities. Most of us will be going to school in the same area, but one friend will be going rather far away, so we wanted to have one last 'hurrah' as they say.

Early on Monday morning we left our city (Fargo, ND) for South Dakota. Our first big stop was going to be Mount Rushmore, which is approximately eight hours away. We made a couple of stops along the way for gas and meals, but we essentially drove straight through. Eventually we got to Mount Rushmore and it was beautiful. After we spent several hours at Mount Rushmore, we checked into our hotel.

On Tuesday morning we left for North Dakota. On the way we stopped in Sturgis, SD to see the aftermath of the big annual motorcycle rally that's held there every year, and we made a spontaneous excursion to Wyoming! It was beautiful there. Eventually we reached our destination, which was Medora, ND...which is one of ND's only tourist attractions. It's like a tourist-y old western town with a beautiful view of the North Dakota badlands. We did some fun things there and also made yet another spontaneous excursion, but to Montana!

On Wednesday morning we left Medora to head back to Fargo, but we made many stops along the way. None of those would probably sound interesting, but they're just dorky little attractions that ND has to offer that everyone does when they drive through ND.

It was an amazing road trip. I had so much fun with my friends. Overall we traveled about 1,350 miles (2,172 km). I took over one thousand pictures somehow. The trip really made me appreciate North Dakota. I've been tired of the state for several years, but it really is a beautiful and lovely place. I'm still looking forward to moving somewhere else for a change of pace, but ND is a beautiful place and I love it and will defend it whenever I have to! :x

I guess that's all I have. :)

Blue Train

The Latin convention I went to that I mentioned in my last blog was great. I had a really amazing time as always. My favorite part was seeing the people I've befriended over the years at past conventions. I saw some people I met five years ago at my first convention. Anyway, my only complaint is that it went by way too quickly. I'm already excited for next year's convention. In some ways it's nice to be back home though.

Anyway, I was tagged by some neat people (chessmaster1989, RobboElRobbo, and Guppy507) for this, so I'm going to do it now!

1. Put Your iTunes (or other music player) on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Tag at least 10 friends.
6. Anyone tagged has to do the same, because fun pointlessness spreads like a virus.

1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say
"Hanging on a Star" - Nick Drake (oh)

2. How would you describe yourself?
"Gaping Holes" - Quasi

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
"Blackbird" - The Beatles (I guess!)

4. How do you feel today?
"Mars, the Bringer of War" - Gustav Holst (gosh I don't know about that!)

5. What is your life's purpose?
"Half Right" - Elliott Smith

6. What is your motto?
"No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature" - The Guess Who

7. What do your friends think of you?
"Parasite" - Nick Drake (OMG I hope not)

8. What do you think of your parents?
"The Fool on the Hill" - The Beatles (not quite!!)

9. What do you think about very often?
"Parade" - Delta Spirit (yes, parades cross my mind very frequently...)

10. What is 2 + 2?
"Atrocity Exhibition" - Joy Division

11. What do you think of your best friend?
"Out to Lunch" - Eric Dolphy

12. What do you think of the person you like?
"Lucifer Sam" - Pink Floyd (eek!)

13. What is your life story?
"Ain't It Strange" - Dr. Dog (I like this)

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Antique Doll" - The Electric Prunes

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
"Words of Love" - Buddy Holly (aww)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
"Birdland" - Maynard Ferguson (O_o)

17, What will they play at your funeral?
"Tensions" - Charles Mingus (I'm okay with this)

18. What is your hobby/interest?
"Junk Bond Trader" - Elliott Smith

19. What is your biggest fear?
"Been Smoking Too Long" - Nick Drake (lol)

20. What is your biggest secret?
"Peeled Apples" - Manic Street Preachers (yes, what a dark secret)

21. What do you think of your friends?
"Drive All Over Town" - Elliott Smith (we DO do this a lot...)

22. What will you put as the title?
"Blue Train" - John Coltrane

I'm old and I'm leaving.

Today I turned 19.
It feels really weird and I have felt pretty down about it!
I guess that's all I have to say on that matter.

I also wanted to just mention that I'll be gone from the 26th to the 1st.
I'll be at a big national Latin/Clas.sics convention. This will be my 5th one. It's actually in my city and at my university's campus this year, so it's going to require a lot of work. It should be fun though.
I might be able to check in late at night sometimes, but I don't know.