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A Different Man

well, im back on Gamespot now. Its been a very, very long time since i visted the forums or was active in posting or anything that has to do with this site really.

Its been a couple years now, and im a different man now. Many things have happened to me to change the way i think and live. A truly special relationship has come and gone, leaving scars. Battles with personal habits and feelings have left their impressions. I just recently graduated High School, and i will be 19 years old this October. Im getting older and dealing with more responsibilities now.

I used to be so many things. I used to be very interested in Star Wars and its expanded universe, wanting to create my own fan fiction and even my own fan films, and i was passionate about it all. Now, i simply dont want any of it anymore. My midn says i want to dive back into my Star Wars fandom, but i simply dont feel like it anymore, i dont have the drive anymore. This is a literal and metaphoric example for many, many other things in my life that i feel differently about now.

I still play video games to an unhealthy high degree, yet it is only because it helps to pass the time and relieve my mind from thinking about painful things. I have friends, and i spend time with them, but its only temporary relief, much like my video games.

I still train for martial arts, but its more MMA now than strict kung-fu. Training physically helps. It helps me to go for something, to have a goal. It helps to relieve the enormous amount of stress that is making me buckle. Not to mention, it also makes me tired, so that i have a better chance of falling asleep at night.

I havent been sleeping well lately. I stayed up until 6:30 last night playing video games and looking up stupid stuff on my computer. I cant sleep, i dont want to sleep. Sometimes i want to think, and sometimes i dont.

Maybe your wondering why im posting this on a blog on a video game website. To be honest, i dont know. It could be because im bored and have nothing to do. Its not like i dont have real people to talk to. I do, and they have listened and talked to me very well. But for some reason i wanted to, and thats all there is i guess.

I need to find some way to reverse this downward spiral. At first, it seemed like i would improve greatly, and i was, but im losing hope in certain things, and things are not going the way i had expected them to...

Lovin it

its been a lonnnng time since my last blog post thing, just been gettin bored with gamespot lately i guess.

anyways, ive played tones of games since then.

Mass Effect is an AMAZING game. i beat it pretty quick, but story is so in depth, graphics are amazing, plot choices are gut-wrenching, characters and theme is so strong. i love it all.

I bought cock of duty 4, and the single player is awesome but the multiplayer blows, mindless sprinting, spray and praying, crapping out live grenades when you die, tons of random airstrikes, and AI controlled helicoptors that get kills for you.

I beat turok, and its a solid game, story is ok but not very in depth, and doesnt do much to make it unique, but but its at least decent and manages to keep your interest. i must say killing dinosaurs and people with a large variety of knife kill animations is always satisfying. Overall, its a very generic shooter, but not a bad one by any means.

I haven t beat the orange box yet completely. I ahve completed portal and its amazing in every sense. team fortress sucks tho, it is way too traditional class based, and the gameplay is weak. plus, you can only play certain gametypes on a certain map, which of youve played halo 2 or 3, force gametypes on a forced map just doesnt work anymore.

HL 2 games are very good, but i lose interest in them after awhile, cause sometimes you'll go for a long time with no music or dialogue, not to mention gordon freeman never says a freakin word. some may say that his complete silence helps you feel like YOU ARE freeman, but it doesnt, because you yourself cant choose what to say, and you cant choose what freeman looks like, but your supposed to be him and feel like him?

i also beat stranglehold, great game i must say if you like bullet-time shooters, it definetly lives up to the John Woo name.

no matter how many games i beat, i always find myself drawn back to halo 3 or gears of war, because they are among the best out there. Halo boasts such a great story and multiplayer, same with gears, and those are packages that are tough to beat.

Everything i imagined

halo 3 has been out a few weeks now, and i love it. Gameplay is sharp, challenging on legendary, and very fun.the story is the best part about it. the drama, characters, action, everything. the ending (the real one, the one after the credits) is depressing but powerful and perfect. The development between cortana and masterchief was moving and touching, yet the pwnage by the arbitortowards the prophet of truthwas friggin awesome. so many aspects, so much of it i love. Johnson and miranda keys dying was heartbreaking, andthe music score throughout the game was perfect, sometimes being uplifting and pulsepounding, sometimes being soft, dramatic, and sad, and sometimes inspiring mystery and wonder to the imagination. In short the story was epic, action packed, dramatic, moving, sad, uplifting and very much satisfying all in one game. oh yea multiplayer rocks too, lol.

The Hype?

In about 11 weeks, Halo 3 comes out. im not thinking about MP at all right now, all i care about is what will happen in this epic conclusion to a great story. will the story surpass the first two great stories? what if by some odd chance halo 3 turns out to fail to live up to what everyone has been waiting for? it would certainly be a great disppointment to me. MP will be either the same or better than it always has so im not too worried about that. the feature im looking foward to is the ability to save your gameplay footage so you and friends can watch it in campaign or MP. that will come in handy thteres been crazy stuff thats happened to me when no one is around.

any thoughts?

SPIDERMAN 3= GREATNESS!!(possible spoilers)

i saw spiderman 3 last night, and it was INSANE. it was almost everything i expected. the drama was pretty much there, the action was like it was supposed to be, although the fight with venom could have been better. but it was unexpected at the end, and sandmans situation was emotional. The situation with harry was also very moving. The CGI was insanely real, due to the new CGI technology the films creators adopted. I still havent decided whether this is better tahn spiderman 2, but it was definetly better than the first one. The only thing i didnt like was that sandman got to eb like the size of king kong or bigger , and i thought it would ahve been better to keep him at around human size. it was very funny too, they hit teh comedy part perfectly. Bottom line is this movie is great, dispite what some people might say cause i hear some people are scratching their heads at some parts and thats understandable, but as a whole it is a triumph. id give it and 8 or 9 outta 10.

SPIDERMAN 3 IS A TRIUMPH! (possible spoilers)

i saw spiderman 3 last night, and it was INSANE. it was almost everything i expected. the drama was pretty much there, the action was like it was supposed to be, although the fight with venom could have been better. but it was unexpected at the end, and sandmans situation was emotional. The situation with harry was also very moving. The CGI was insanely real, due to the new CGI technology the films creators adopted. I still havent decided whether this is better tahn spiderman 2, but it was definetly better than the first one. The only thing i didnt like was that sandman got to eb like the size of king kong or bigger , and i thought it would ahve been better to keep him at around human size. it was very funny too, they hit teh comedy part perfectly. Bottom line is this movie is great, dispite what some people might say cause i hear some people are scratching their heads at some parts and thats understandable, but as a whole it is a triumph. id give it and 8 or 9 outta 10.

The Ultimate Achievement

you see, you have the regular xbox 360 achievements, and then you have the Ultimate Achievement. The Ultimate Achievement, is without question, to get 10,000 kills in Gears of War. i dont have much time to go for this achievement, but my goal is to have the achievement accomplished by the end of summer. right now i have about 1,600 kills racked up. i could have more but i play mor player matches with my friends than ranked matches with strangers, and the only way to get the achievement is through kills in ranked matches only. i think i can have it quick though. anybody else going for this achievement or have gotten it yet?

Graw 2

its supposed to come out on the sixth of march, and i cant wait. the graphics will be so much more improved, the gameplay and everything will be awesome. what im most excited for is the multiplayer. there will be clans with individual clan symbols, clan matches, and new maps. its gonna be great. usually im more excited for the stpry of a game but for this type of game nahh. more info keeps coming out for halo 3, and now i know its coming out this fall so thats cool. all i really have anymore is games i guess, i just go to school, come home then leave straight to work, come home at around 9 and play games. then on the days im off from working i im usually working out...oh well i guess.

so many

there are so many new games coming out that will be sick its mind blowing. you ahve ghost recon advanced warfighter, army of two, crackdown, hour of victory, medal of honor airborne, brothers in arms: hells highway, then theres that new star wars game that as of right now is called star wars 2007 but thats just a working title, then theres halo 3 coming at the end of the year. i know army of two will be awesome as poop, me and my buddy whos name will remain anonymous since he's german will own the crap out of people in army of two cause we usually work very well together, and we will dominate online i think, then crackdown will be nothing but fighting sick action, and then the star wars lightsaber combat looks completely sweet.

different things

well christmas brought about new and different things. i have the game fear, which is freaking awesome its gameplay is like the matrix and its really freky and scary, and rainbow six vegas has some of the best online multiplayer ever, since now i also have xbox live now, (my gamer tag is Shepherd 214) gears of war is extremely fun and adrenaline rushing online, im able to train in kung fu again so me and my best friend beat each other till we couldnt anymore, and just a few other things but its new and different so thats always good i guess. i always have to stop and thank God for all that he blesses me with, because i could lose it at any moment, mostly im worried about losing those i care about and less about possesions. thats about it for right now..