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A Feeling Once Familiar... (Bioshock Infinite)

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After my brief exposure to Bioshock Infinite over the weekend, I felt the need to write something about the experience. I wouldn't say my faith in gaming has been waning over the past years (mostly over fear that it makes me sound old and jaded), but I once remember a time when games used to instill a real sense of wonder and discovery. Lately I've been feeling that I've seen it all. I'm seeing a lot of the same corridors, the same landscapes, the same enemies etc. and I'm not even playing that many shooters anymore. Don't get me wrong, many of my favourite games came from the last few years, but they still feel few and far between.

For example, I think back to 2007. Within the span of a few months, I was introduced to the dark, mysterious wonders of Rapture for the first time and had my mind blown into oblivion by its not-late-enough-in-the-game twist. I DIED halfway through Call of Duty 4 in a nuclear explosion that Treyarch and Infinity Ward have yet to top or even match no matter how many times they make the same game. I landed on the Citadel for the first time and quickly fell in love with a universe that I can safely say is my favourite setting in any video game, movie or book. Valve bundled five different games (all of which were stellar in my opinion) into a single package and swallowed a few weeks of my life in the process, inadvertently creating a meme in Portal that lasts to this day (for better and for worse). All those memories and likely many more for most people were created in the span of a few months. As I said before, I don't want to come off as cynical or anything, but even when the top developers are all pushing out major games right before the Christmas holidays I get excited for... maybe one or two of them? A feeling once familiar, of total bliss at playing a game that could show me something I had never seen before, is all but gone.

Maybe it's a cause of this generation going on too long, leaving developers to rely on old tricks to get the job done, but there is definitely a certain staleness in the air. It's led me to retreat back to games like the Persona series to find something truly new and memorable. All this changed over the weekend when I decided to put Persona 4 Arena and XCOM: Enemy Unknown (both games that I am thoroughly enjoying) on hold for a moment and try what some people have been describing as 'the best game of the generation.' I wasn't skeptical, as a lot of people threw that label on the original Bioshock when it came out and, for my money, it earned that title for some time. I even heard the claim that diving into Infinite for the first time was a more affecting experience than Bioshock itself. My interest was absolutely piqued.

I popped the game in my 360 (because no **** way was my laptop gonna run that thing on decent settings without having an epileptic fit) and started a new game. I'm suddenly in a shoddy boat in the middle of a rainy night, slowly paddling my way to an isolated lighthouse. Feelings of 2007 rushed back to my mind and I got an uneasy  chill, like maybe I had accidentally put in Bioshock or something. But not long after that, I'm soaring high above the clouds in a city in the sky. It's like seeing Rapture for the first time, but more exhilarating. I'm a kid again, unsure of what is coming next but overly excited to find out. As I explore Columbia, my jaw is glued to the floor and my eyes are stuck open. I am admiring every little detail and constantly being distracted from my goal by anything and everything. I'm not just playing a game anymore, going from point A to point B and killing everything in my path, I'm interested and invested. I'm not completing objectives for the sake of more experience or better gear, I WANT to do the things the game tells me because I trust that it will only lead to more great encounters. I'm not thinking ahead to what the next boss will look like or how long this section of the game will take, I'm in the moment, enjoying the here and now. It takes me an hour (or maybe two if I want to be totally and embarrassingly honest) to complete about 15-20 minutes worth of gameplay. My family arrives for Easter and I have to rip myself away from the game. I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

Maybe the game drops off dramatically from that opening (it likely doesn't), but I already don't care. I was hit with a shot of shock and awe straight to my imagination, something I hadn't experienced in some time. A feeling once familiar returned to me in a surge that was overwhelming, but welcome. I realize I'm coming off a bit strong (insert ejaculation joke here), especially considering I can't really say I've even played the game yet, but I don't care. That first impression was all I needed to have my faith, not in gaming, but in genuine wonder in gaming, renewed. Thank you Bioshock Infinite, thank you Irrational Games and thank you Ken Levine for giving me the opportunity the rediscover my unadulterated love for this hobby of mine. For the first time in a long time, I genuinely can't wait to see what happens next

Haven't made a new blog in.... OVER A YEAR!?

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Whew, it's been a while. I guess that's fitting because I intend to talk briefly about a game that I somehow missed from last generation and how I discovered one of my new favourite franchises.

I'm talking aboot Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 FES (I've perfected saying the entire title in under two seconds. Because I'm that cool)

Persona3cover.jpg

So yeah, the game features Japanese high school students, something called Apathy Syndrome, frequent references to suicide, and you summon the monsters that perform your attacks by putting a gun to your head and pulling the trigger. What's not to love? It's basically a weaboos fantasy, and really appealed to the inner Japanophile in me. But this blog isn't about how awesome the game is (which is very awesome). It's more relating to games that you've always wanted to try but haven't for whatever reason.

I first learned of Persona 3 back in 2007 when it beat Mass Effect for RPG of the year. Due to my rampant fanboyism for that series, Persona and I didn't get off on the best of terms. But the more I looked into it, the more intrigued I became. But I think what held me back was that it was a last gen game and my feet were firmly planted in "the next generation." So while the series caught my attention, I never found an excuse to buy it. I never saw it in stores and I eventually just gave up looking.

fesjapan.jpg

(Seriously, the game is weird. Your squad mates range from normal people to a robot with a creepy fascination with your character and a dog that can fight monsters. It's so f*cking cool)

That all changed a few months ago when Persona 3: FES came to PSN for 10$. I'm about 70 hours into the game and I have a feeling there is still quite a bit to go. I'm no mathematician, but that's an INSANE amount of value. So naturally I bought Persona 4 off Amazon and intend to play it right after I'm done with this game (Apparently it's even better, although I fail to see how that is possible.... I'm so excited to see how that is possible)

So yeah, if there is a game you have always wanted to try, my advice is: GO FIND IT NOW AND BUY IT! This generation is full of HD Remakes and digital means of obtaining older games, many of which probably deserve your attention. I've learned that what's new isn't always what's best and although Persona is only putting me further back in the game of catch-up I am playing with this generation, it's totally worth it.

Are there any games you've always wanted to play but haven't for some reason? Was there a game you went back to after a long time like a long lost treasure and rediscovered all its wonder and glory? Is anyone even reading this blog?

forever_alone_by_foreveraloneplz.png

I should really get on that....

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List of Games I have opened that I need to complete:

Metro 2033
Dead Rising 2

List of Games I have yet to open that I need to complete (this is where things get a little overwhelming):

Alan Wake
Splinter Cell: Conviction
Red Dead Redemption
Assassins Creed: Brotherhood
Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep
Call of Duty: Black Ops
Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit
Enslaved
Dead Space 2


Siiiighhhh......"Scratches head"

Whelp, I guess I better -- "Sees Fable 3 on sale for $19.99"

One more game couldn't hurt :P

The (I Am Totally Being Serious With This) Best Movie Blog of 2010

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The title of this blog is, I will admit, rather confusing. So instead of trying to explain it, I will just get right into the awards :)
Now these are all highly prestigious awards that every movie tries its absolute hardest to achieve; some would even say moreso than the Academy Awards (That would be me, I would say that). I am not going to do nominees, just the winners, because, honestly, no one cares or remembers about who was nominated; only the winner matters. So let's get right into it shall we?

BEST WTF MOMENT (AKA Best Use of "My Hero" by Foo Fighters):



The Other Guys for "Aim For the Bushes" (Link is provided Here)


BEST NOISE IN A MOVIE (AKA What everyone should change their car horn to):




Inception for "BWAAAAAAAA" (Link to the noise is Here)


BEST EXPLORATION OF SEXUALITY (AKA Best Excuse to Watch a Ballet Movie):



Black Swan for...Well, you know ;)


BEST CRINGE-INDUCING SCENE (AKA Holy **** I Could Never Do That in a Million Years):

127 Hours for Arm Amputation (AKA Not Since Saw has Someone Been Required to do This to Themself)

BEST SIT THE **** DOWN MOMENT (AKA That Gave Me Chills):




The Social Network for "Did I Adequately Answer Your Condescending Question?" (AKA He Mad)


BEST EMOTIONAL SUCKERPUNCH (AKA Man Tears Were Shed):

Toy Story 3 for Goodbye Andy (AKA Saying Goodbye to my Childhood)

And that concludes this year's awards for totally meaningful categories that everyone cares about! (I have a lot more but I started doing these out of boredom and now have something to do) Tune in next year if this account is still active to see next year's awards! Share your favourite moments in the comments section below :)

Tower (Power Remix)

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This is something like my 21st try, I doubt there's a way to beat it
Probably doin it worse than anybody else do it
Screamin at every failure, I hate to admit to it
I guess every cheap boss got to have its theme music

No one knight should have all that tower
The clock's tickin, I been at this for hours
Stop dyin, I'm dyin to the tower
Forty-foot **** face

The controller's broken, Best Buy's closed, Futureshop's open
I got lots of souls to lose, oh **** it, he stole them
Huh? I said he ****ing stole them
And this red-scaled dragon is quite a gem

It's 3 o'clock now, I got school tomorrow
So good-night cruel game, I'll play you in the mornin
Huh? I said I'll play you in the mornin
This game's impossible, I need a moment

Thinkin' no one knight should have all that tower
The clock's tickin, I been at this for hours
Stop dyin, I'm dyin to the tower
No Pause? **** that, that's for cowards

**** 1-2 and the whole stage
Tell it Skinny_man is going for long range
Nope that will just make him nerd rage
I got nerd rage? You got that right

His lance and arm are strong but not that Lance Armstrong
But he still strikes way too long, I'm dead before I can even finish this song
Now I'm losin my patience, that ain't no revelation
I know, I am that sensation

If I could just get me and him alone, without these damn archers
But that isn't option, that isn't something you can barter
Oh the humanity, insanity and pain in me
The pain in me caused by these damned archers

Pity isn't something you should have on me
This is the second boss in the game, can you blame me?
Before this was Phalanx and he was easy as could be
I didn't understand why this game was so hard, now I see

No one knight should have all that tower
The clock's tickin, I been at this for hours
Stop dyin, I'm dyin to the tower
No Pause? **** that, that's for cowards

CN Tower, Eiffel Tower
Can't begin touch the heights that I have to climb much
Put him in a hutch and I doubt that would help much
I'm just glad that I ain't acrophobic and such

I been at this for days, god dammit, this is bull ****
I'm just so sick and tired of this ****
I don't need your **** walkthrough, I'll just fail like an idiot
Clearly not going to tower tip, I'll just go ahead and skip

How Man doing? **** ing awful
How many all-nighters can I pull?
Where are the codes, huh? No cheats, rofl
I'm done, goin upstairs to make some waffles
(Some waffles)

Now this is the dumbest death
He just fell on top of me
Can't believe what I've just seen
Can't believe what I've just seen

Now this is the dumbest death
He just fell on top of me
Can't believe what I've just seen
Can't believe what I've just seen

Forty-foot **** face

Mmmmmmmusic

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I just went to HIV, I mean, HMV to pick up My Chemical Romance's new album (OMGEMOLOLIPOP), titled Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, and saw Kanye West's album (My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy) sitting on top. So I grabbed (ferociously I might add) both albums and walked out of the store. Then I remembered to pay for them and security went away. (That didn't happen, but I did see some hooligan get knocked the **** off his skateboard while riding it in the mall. It was awesome, but who knew mall security actually had to do things?)

About ten minutes later, my friends and I were about to leave the mall (yes I still have friends despite getting MCR's new album) when I started talking about my favourite album of the year thus far: Plastic Beach. Almost every song on that Plastic Beach is ethereal (pretty much the only word I have to describe it) and just the overall feel of Plastic Beach is very calming. It was then that it occurred to me: I didn't have Plastic Beach. I quickly went back to the HI--HMV (bonus points for using the same joke twice in one blog when it wasn't funny the first time) and found Plastic Beach sitting in the "Awesome Section" of the store. The clerk used same lame joke like "I am guessing you don't need another bag for this?" to which I responded, "Yes I need another bag because when the zombie apocalypse begins I will need my bag supply stocked in order to carry around food and bottled water and other supplies!" That was the end of my conversation with the HMV clerk.

After listening to them I must say this year has been great for music of all genres. Moral of the story?

GET


Choice Selections: On Melancholy Hill, Rhinestone Eyes, Superfast Jellyfish

THESE



Choice Selections: Bulletproof Heart, Planetary (GO!), Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

ALBUMZZZZZZZZZ



Choice Selections: Runaway, Power, All of the Lights


And yes, I am absolutely white

55555 (My caps lock is off Gamespot you delusional site)

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My gamerscore just hit 55555. All fives. Five fives in fact. I thought I would make a blog about this as it only happens once every billion years :) I shall categorize this blog under Religion as I think this historic event could change the face of every face on the face of the planet. I also took a picture as proof of this monumental achievement (score) but I took it on my cell phone and I have yet to figure out how to transfer cell phone pictures to my computer. Perhaps I shall ask Bill Gates when he comes over to congratulate me on my victory. I am sure they will make a movie out of this and Jim Carrey (as he is also Canadian and awesome) will play me as the main star to make up for the other movie he was in about numbers. The Truman Show I believe it was called

EDIT: I just checked my PSN ID and I am Level 5 with 5%....Now I am scared :|

You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

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So I am playing Halo 3 with my friend and we are laying waste to all in our path, when I decide to jump off and watch Pan's Labyrinth as I feel that everyone should watch that movie at least once a month in order to fulfill your monthly intake of dark fantasy and whimsy. Anyways, I just kind of dropped my wireless microphone like I always do on the floor very casually.

My mom is walking by, probably on her way to the laundry room or something, and says "You shouldn't treat your things so poorly or they are going to end up destroyed." I respond with "Quiet old woman, you have no knowledge on the subject of technology and therefore your input is invalid. Now go make me a sammich as you were put on this earth to do so!"

No, actually, I didn't say that. I said what every teenager still leaving with their parents and relying on them for food and shelter says in a sarcastic and defeated tone: "Yes mom."

Anyways, I watch the movie, laugh, cry, **** my pants, the usual, and decide to hop back on to further decimate my opponents in the online battlefield. I turn on my 360, initiate my controller into "Go Time" mode and reach for my mic to discover.....


(A Hint: It isn't supposed to bend like that)

What....the **** ... are the chances? The ONE time my mother makes a comment on how questionably I treat my property is the time that the damn thing explodes almost in half just to prove a point. Can I not learn such lessons in a less costly way? I was planning on spending that money on my friend's wedding gift, but she can just forget it now, there are more pressing matters at hand. Seriously, I have a god damn carpet in my basement, how did this even happen? There is only one possible solution to the unfortunate and unbelievable events that have unfolded this night. God....Is a troll


(Yeah I learned my lesson....douchebag)

Demon's Souls: The Bane of My Existence Pt. IV

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It is Day.... I have honestly stopped counting at this point; it has been too long. This will be my second last blog it would appear, as World 5 is now behind me and all that is left is False King. That's right, I beat World 5. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't easy and it was basically the closest to hell I ever wish to get, but it is done. World 5 is simply....Well, World 5 is AIDS. It is probably the single most infuriating, disgusting, frightening, disturbing, **** ed up place I ever experienced in a video game and even though I didn't like the pitfalls of World 3, nothing could have prepared me for the constant dangers of World 5, so very aptly named, The Valley of Defilement. That is exactly what I felt walking out of that place: brutally, consistently, embarrassingly defiled. There is no single thing wrong with this level (no black phantom invasions like World 4 because nobody wants to **** ing go to this place if they can help it), but more that...Well, everything is wrong with this level.

|
(It was like this....but much worse)

So let me break this down real simple: Everything is poison. The enemies are poison, the environment is poison, the bosses are poison, the game is poison etc. Nothing of good health comes out of this place. I mean, at one point there are filthy aborted fetus' running around trying to grab onto you like their mother and it was at that time that I realized that From Software are just sick. It was like someone at Sony just got a bunch of deranged psychopaths together that just happened to have the capabilities to make games and told them to make the hardest, most disturbing game they could or else they would never get to murder someone again. They are sick people for making these enemies, they are sick people for making this level, they are sick people for making this game so damn hard and they are sick people for making it so addicting and fun. I love/hate them, so very much.



(From Hell would have been a much more suitable name for the company, and this level)

A quick rundown of the level goes as follows: 5-1 is basically World 3 with all the god damn pitfalls (plus poison), 5-2 is a gigantic sewage swamp filled with slugs, goblins, (superfast) jellyfish....and whatever else pieces of garbage I ended up killing (that of course were all poisonous) and 5-3 was bloody baby land, with plague instead of poison (oh joy). The greatest fun of these poison and plague swamps is the fact that you move much slower than normal, but OF COURSE the enemies don't follow these rules. I can't explain to you how many **** ing times I would instigate a fight with an enemy on land and be forced into the swamp, get poisoned, attract the attention of about a million stupid jellyfish and get my ass killed from a cluster **** ing **** storm of rape. At least with poison, you have time to heal and it isn't that big a deal. It's like a "Oh, I am poisoned, oh drat" level of inconvenience. With plague it is like "I **** ING LOVE DYING!!!!!!!!!!" level of inconvenience. Plague in this game isn't some lame virus like West Nile or Swine Flu, it is full on **** ing bubonic plague degree of death. You get this **** in battle, you better just kiss your life good-bye and get ready to go BACK TO START (not nearly as much fun as Trouble, which is a crappy board game to begin with).


(My reaction to receiving plague...and actually my reaction to just having to play in World 5)

The bosses are not all that difficult. Leechmonger does throw leech bombs at you, which being a big fan of leeches, I enjoyed, but can be quickly dispatched with fire arrows. Dirty (Shadow of the) Colossus throws clouds of flies at you, but once again isn't a big fan of fire (this boss actually reminded me of Pig Pen from Peanuts for some reason). And Maiden of Astrea commits suicide after you kill her lover Garl Vinland, who I managed to get stuck on a rock for most of our battle (interestingly, the aborted fetus' are all around them, which leads me to believe Maiden Astrea just wasn't a big fan of birth control). Just like World 3, the bosses are not the problem with this level; the level is the problem with this level. I killed all the bosses first try (I know, surprised me too).



(If they gave these out at the end of the level, I would have been so much happier)

So all I got left now is False King. Easy peasy right? I have already fought this .... tool once and he violently massacred me on our first outing and was very reminiscent of my first duel with Tower Knight (HOW DOES TOWER KNIGHT KEEP MAKING HIS WAY INTO THESE BLOGS WHEN I FOUGHT HIM 4 BLOGS AGO). I shall get to the end of World 1, I will slay False King and I WILL BEAT THIS DEVIL'S CREATION IF IT IS THE LAST THING I DO (which it very will may be judging from the levels of stress this game has put me through)

Demon's Souls: The Bane of my Existence Pt. III

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This is Day 18 of my trek through hell in video game form and since my last update, things have actually been going fairly well for me (especially compared to that giant booby-trap known as World 3). I just want to make sure people reading these blogs understand, I love this game. No other game gets me worked up as much as Demon's Souls, so if anything, me raging is actually a testament to the emotional investment I have with this title. Demon's Souls gets into your head and never let go; it is always pushing you to the next area to see how it can **** with you this time. For every controller-throwing moment (and believe me, there have been a few) there are several moments of sheer joy at taking down a formidable enemy or finally overcoming a difficult obstacle in the terrain. That being said, this game still has its moments of absolute frustration and heartbreak. Although World 4 was relatively easy (mainly due to its bosses), I still made a few memories (not necessarily good ones either)

(Lovely place; just might take my next vacation there....after I die)

Now, despite me claiming that World 4 was relatively easy, this is under certain conditions. Unlike World's 1, 2 and arguably 3, you should not even attempt this world until you are of a higher level. Even the normal enemies of this land hit really hard and if you don't have enough stamina or if you don't have a good enough shield to block their hits, you will die and quickly. I remember people telling me that World 4 is a easy and quick way to farm souls and they were all **** ing liars. The skeletal foes of this world have apparently taken high-flying gymnastic training and are able to roll, weave and dodge their way to you in a very short amount of time and will cut you into bits if you are not prepared. There are literally enemies that dual wield katanas as if they were Legolas from Lord of the Rings. Ridiculous. That all being said, they are extremely fun to kill :)

(I could have really used your help in World 4 you jerk)

The bosses, Adjudicator, Old Hero and especially Storm King did not put up much of a struggle, especially in contrast to some of their brethren from other worlds (looking at you False King). Adjudicator was a little annoying because his tongue could **** you through the platforms you use to get down to him. However, I just slammed my arrows into his ugly skull on my way down to him. He was really fat and disgusting, kind of like my ex-girlfriend. Maybe From Software based the character model after her.... Old Hero was definitely the most difficult boss of the world, as he was basically a carbon copy of Tower Knight. Luckily, he was blind for whatever reason (probably blinded by my sheer awesomeness) so although he could hit you hard and had much higher agility than Tower Knight, he could lose track of you pretty fast (especially with Thief's Ring equipped). Storm King was a joke, but was actually one of my favourite boss battles due to the battleground itself, his model design looking amazing and the weapon you obtain while fighting him: Storm Ruler AKA Soul Farmer Extraordinaire. Dissimilar to other worlds, Shrine of Storms was not difficult because of boss battles or level design, it was difficult because of one simple fact: Black Phantom Invasions

(A picture of Adjudicator)

Shrine of Storms is by far the easiest place to farm souls. Whether it be the Reaper at the beginning of 4-2 that drops over 5k souls per kill, or the Manatee playing ground of 4-3 which can farm for about 20k souls per run, World 4 is the place to level up (Whoever thought up flying manatees that shoot spikes out of their butt was definitely on some sort of drug I would like to get my hands on). The game has been out for a while, so most worlds do not contain that many white phantoms running around, but World 4 is filled with them. I often get nervous that there is a horde of enemies around the corner, only to find out there are just several phantoms running around their own world. However, for every friendly phantom you meet (A Casper perhaps) there are just as many unfriendly phantoms (Those douchebag cousins of Casper perhaps). If you are not in soul form, you will be invaded almost instantly. Clearly people have caught on that the highest volume of players rests in World 4, so that's where the invaders flock. This is kind of....No, this is really **** ing annoying when all I am trying to do is beat a level and someone invades my game, ESPECIALLY if I am working on a bunch of Shadowlurkers that refuse to attack invaders for whatever reason. Now I have to worry about Reapers, Shadowlurkers, Invaders OH **** ING MY!



(What instantly comes to mind when an invader enters)

In fact, the most stressful moment of my entire Demon's Souls career happened in 4-2. First, let me set this up. I had read many reviews before purchasing Demon's Souls and almost every one had the same line: "Sooner or later, your death will cost you big time." Although dying had caused me to scream in frustration, never once had it really cost me anything but time (and possibly a new controller). I never had that many souls on me, and could almost always get back to my bloodspot anyways. Now that has been said, let me continue. I had killed three invaders in a row before even getting through the first hallway, so I decided it was time to bring in some back-up. I summoned two other blue phantoms to work with me, and even though SEVEN invaders entered, one after the other, we vanquished them all and they stopped coming after that. I hadn't realized, but I had equipped Ring of Avarice (a ring that grants you 20% more souls) the entire time. My soul count now reached over 70k. Never once had I seen that many souls on me at one time. I wanted so badly to just quit out of the game and cash that away before it was lost. Unfortunately, there are only two ways to exit a multiplayer session: Turn off your game....or death. I didn't want to turn off my game, because then I would get a bad rating and it would be less likely for people to want to join my game. And death REALLY wasn't an option I wanted to pursue.



(Skinny_man! What's the reading on your soul level?)

So, with my butt clenched and my palms sweating (heart-beating, hands shaking etc.) I followed behind the two blue phantoms as they vanquished everything in their path (there was no **** ing way I was taking the lead). I almost died several times due to the SWEETASS targeting system that was under the impression I wanted to focus on one of the manatees flying out over the sea instead of a skeleton two feet in front of me. If there had been a penny jar beside me for everytime I swore, thinking that I had just lept off the cliff to my doom because of a broken targeting system, I would have enough money to hire someone else to beat this **** ing game for me. Anyways, the three of us got to the end of the level where Old Hero stood. I now had over 90k souls. NINETY THOUSAND GOD DAMN SOULS. Luckily, I had fought Old Hero before in someone elses game when I was a blue phantom and knew exactly what to expect (I usually do this to prepare myself for my own battle against the boss). So in my previous duel against this beast, he just kind of swung his sword blindly and charged at walls where he thought I, or my partner, was. The real trick was waiting until he was tired, and then hitting him from behind and then running away and hiding again. None of this is what happened for this battle. APPARENTLY, the **** er knew that I had 90k souls on me, and was out for blood. It didn't matter that my team mates tried their absolute best to take the focus away from me, pelting him again and again with magic, arrows, swords, EVERYTHING THEY HAD, this bastard wanted me dead and no one was going to stop him. He was clearly faking his bull **** sight disability in our first round, as he had now retained his senses and knew EXACTLY where the **** I was this time around. I had to keep running; no time for healing, fighting or anything. I then got stuck on a troll pillar who, I swear, congealed out of the ground to stop me from running. I turned around to see where the beast was as his sword came crashing down on top of me and killed me in one single hit. My jaw dropped to the floor as I watched my soul count drop back to zero. I have no idea what happened after that, as I blacked out and when I awoke I was naked in a corn field the words "FROM SOFTWARE MUST DIE" written in blood on the ground.....Okay, maybe that didn't happen, but I was so very pissed off.

(Probably my reaction to losing all my souls)

I went into a slight stage of depression after this event, but quickly realized all was not lost! I was still able to go back and retrieve my souls....I just needed to get back to Old Hero was all. No biggie, right? I quickly tried summoning someone else into my game to help me get back to where I died as fast as possible, but wouldn't you know it, some trolling little **** had to invade my game just before I could summon the guy. I mean Jesus Mother **** ing Christ, GIVE ME A BREAK! So this invader and I were locked in an epic duel for my 90k souls. He didn't know what was on the line, but I did. If I died again, I would lose everything and that wasn't going to happen; not on my pissed off watch. I just kept swinging away at the guy and he just kept on rolling. I shield bashed him, I shot magic at him, I used my heavy attacks; I mean, this guy must have been scared. I didn't even knowing what I was doing anymore I was attacking him so vigorously. The duel ended a little anti-climactically, as he rolled off the cliff when I swung at him, but I won nonetheless. I summoned the blue phantom, we ran to the end and this time I equipped my Thief's Ring so that supposed "blind" little beyotch wouldn't be able to get me. I got my souls back and beat him into the ground. The End :)....

Well, not quite "The End' because I still have World 5 to tackle as well as False King (who has hopefully rotted into nothing by now so I don't have to face him). I have been told World 5 is the most fun world of them all and shall cause me no problems. I do hope that this is the case because I believe I have already lost a few years of my life due to the stress this game has caused me. Please let World 5 be as easy as they say.....;)

(My level of happiness upon retrieving my souls as expressed by an Elcor Diplomat)

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