So some days you find yourself sitting there staring at a wall and all of a sudden it hit's you; what the heck am I doing!?
Too bad it's also one of those stupid questions with no straight answer, if you think too much you end up depressed or something so you try to listen to music or play a game or something to forget, but it never goes away.
Mistakes you've made in the past years suddenly hit you like a brick and your mind feels bombarded by things you should have said or things you should have done, if you could change the past you would but you can't so you sit there and you keep thinking; what the heck am I doing!?
What could I have done differently to avoid this mess that has been made, no I'm not talking about a job or a choice in clothing I'm talking about life choices that directly affect who you are or where you are going, things that you never stop to think about because you never really have time until it's too late.
How many times do we wish we could freeze time and weigh the options and think about the consequences before we open our mouth or make a decision, but it's not possible due to fate or manifest destiny or God or whatever you believe in.
We were given free will as a species however is it our right to use it when it feels like everything that is happening has already been pre-determined by some higher power or by some puppet master who throws you into these situations to see how you adapt.
If it's God then you have to wonder what he's doing as well, are we being tested, or does he test people is that what he would do?
Sometimes you have to stop and take a look at your life because when you don't one of those days will come when, like a mouse in a maze, or a person trapped in a strange place, you suddenly lose yourself and all sense of being you had, some people can't deal with a realization like that and simply cave in have an emotional breakdown, feel sorry for themselves.
They may even blame God, or society, or fate maybe even manifest destiny, but one things for sure the feelings that are brought on by the situations we face from day to day certainly test our limits as human beings, sometimes it feels like you are a test subject or like your the hamster on the wheel going and going but never having a destination.
If you are a good boy or girl you stay on that wheel and you keep on trucking towards this, thing in the distance, you can barely see it and you never get closer to it but you keep chasing it, the only way off is to do something drastic and unexpected to alter your fate, but can you do that? Is it even possible to do that?
Random questions that probably have no answer, trying not to become apathetic to the point where little things no longer affect you where you just keep chasing that thing you see in front of you.
Hopefully someday we can catch this thing, this light or this object we are chasing, and hopefully... it's what we were expecting and we don't look back and say; what the heck am I doing!?