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nuclear_cookout Blog

Updates and Egg Rolls

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Many moons later, Nuke emerges from obscurity to be the best little atomic device he can be.

Greetings.

What a time it has been! I am actually saying something for once in...nearly 5 years? Yes, the speech must now flow. The time has come for activity once again. Is anyone on my list still alive?

Christmas! I must say, this year has gone by so fast that my head is practically spinning. Old Man Winter blew his nose on us earlier than usual. Got a little bit of sleet a week before Thanksgiving (which hasn't happened since the 70's, at least in my area of Texas), and then had a big ice storm two weeks ago...and the last of it finally melted off yesterday. What, did Earth and Mars switch orbits? Am I still in Texas, or did I unknowingly move to Alaska? Anyways...merry Han-yule-Christmas-tide-ukkah. Jolly!

I distinctly remember saying something about starting a Sonic fan comic a while back. That idea has long since been abandoned in favor of more written works, as well as a now-published original science fiction e-book titled Riesel Tales: Two Hunters.

Apologies to those who knew me as the disappeared leader of certain unions. Not sure what happened there. Perhaps I got in over my head. Life happened, too. But...I see that the unions feature no longer exists. Rest in peace, Random Insanity Union et al.

So tell me...How do you feel about egg rolls?

Ohai (lol updates) (+1 edit)

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Wow. Five months of no activity. Now, I present updates and a rant.

EDIT: Forgot to add another story, Hover Beyond.

UPDATES BEGIN NAO:


As of November 15 of last year, I've been here for 3 years. The glitches continue. [heart symbol goes here]

ARTS

A detailed pic of Tails and my Sonic fancharacter, Kaolin. Also, a sketch of my Sonic fancharacter Fuse holding a pencil. DRAMATICALLY.


COMICS:

Comics are in hiatus. Additionally, I plan to continue A Century After Sonic as a written story, with possible occasional pics for a few scenes.


STORIES:

Hover Beside: The Mercia Incident. Three-and-a-half years after the events of Hover Beside, Tails and his girlfriend Kaolin are assigned to investigate allegations of Snively building high-explosives at a factory in the nation of Mercia.
-Violence/Action-

Hover Beyond. Four years after Hover Beside. After Snively killed Robotnik, everything changed. Now, a new threat has emerged. Can the Freedom Fighters stop a rogue faction from nuking Station Square?

Hover Totality: Dawn. First three chapters are up. 6 months following the events of Hover Beyond, the recently-wed Tails and Kaolin have started a new life. However, a new and unstable nuclear-armed regime could change all of that. Could war be looming? -Violence/Action-

Go Fast, Young Plumber. What started as a dull day rapidly became a pulse-pounding, explosive race against time as Mario competed with Wario to see who could reach the grocery store first. -Contains action/violence-

Also, the first part of the 13th installation of my Random Insanity Killfest series is finally up. A link to the story can be found in the corresponding thread at the Random Insanity Union.


Myo0zik:

Ophidian - "Mako"

Donkey Rollers - "Voice Of Conscience"

Menace II Society - "Chronic Disorder"

RANT:

HR 45 Blair Holt Firearm Licensing & Record of Sales Act of 2009.

How...how can so much blatant, drooling idiocy exist all at once? How? Are politicians so flagrantly out of touch with reality that they'd resort to this? I guess so.

Under this bill, it would be illegal to own a firearm - including any rifle with a clip, or ANY pistol regardless of type, unless:

- It is registered.

- You are fingerprinted and 'cleared' to own one.

- You supply a current Driver's License.

- You supply your Social Security Number.

- You submit to a physical & mental evaluation, at any time of their choosing.

- Each update - change - or ownership - through private, or public sale, must be reported, & costs $25. Failure to do so means you automatically lose the right to own a firearm, & you're subject to up to a year in jail.

There's also a children's clause, on page 16, section 305, stating that as a child-access provision, any gun in your home, or under your supervision, must be locked & inaccessible to any child under 18.

The government would have the right to come & inspect your premises, to see that you are storing your gun safely & away from accessibility by children. If not, the fine is actually punishable by up to 5 years in prison.

Sure, it isn't an outright gun ban, but all it takes is for them move a step further here and there, until it happens.


Thomas Jefferson put it nicely, "Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who don't."


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"Those who believe (in Christ) and are baptized will be saved..." - Mark 16:16

Completed story, artwork, etc

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UPDATES NAO:


ARTS:

A psychotic Fiona Fox sketch and colored version, plus a considerably detailed drawing of Kaolin and Tails from Hover Beyond. Aaaaand here's one of my fancharacter Fuse stealing Super Mario's hat.


COMICS:

A Century After Sonic is in hiatus, though I might pick it back up fairly soon.


STORIES:

Hover Beyond (the sequel to Hover Beside) is complete. I'm working on an inbetween story pertaining to an event that occurred between Hover Beside and Hover Beyond, and I'll probably write at least one more sequel to this, possibly two or three more.

I may/might start writing the 13th installation of my Random Insanity Killfest series soon, which has been on hiatus for HALF A YEAR. No promises.

Myo0zik:

Fray - How To Save A Life (Untamed Society Remix). It's pretty much a good techno dance song with a rather mellow beat.

Noisekick - Hij Loopt Rondjes. Terrorcore techno. 'Nuff said. :3


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"Those who believe (in Christ) and are baptized will be saved..." - Mark 16:16

UPDATES: comics, art, literature

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Heh. One month already. UPDATES NAO:


ARTS:

A colored version of the sketch of my SL character Jerionis Kanik is completed and can be found here. I know, the gun is terrible, but I'll probably update it later. I must DRAW MOAR. I have a full-time job now (sort of), so....I dunno. I just need to apply myself and draw.

COMICS:

A Century After Sonic is in hiatus.

STORIES:

I'm finally making progress with the outline of Hover Beyond (the sequel to Hover Beside). I've polished/completed the originally-partially-finished first chapter, and updated it when I posted chapter two. This story may end up being three chapters (ending at a climax), meaning there would be a 4th Hover story, but this is still in the air. [I made a pun. LAUGH WITH ME.]

ALSO, I may start writing the 13th installation of my Random Insanity Killfest series soon, which has been on hiatus for HALF A YEAR.

Myo0zik:

I've recently discovered some good hardcore/hardsty1e bands, one of which is Korsakoff. Really powerful beats. I recommend Youtubing "Power rave" and "We Are Still Here". Then there's Scott Brown's "Boomstick" and DJ Kurt's "Straight From The Underground".

EDIT: I cannot believe that GS STILL has not fixed the "sty1e" forbidden error.

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"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, and that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but had everlasting life." - John 3:16 o/

At long last... (comics)

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...I have begun drawing the first page of A Century After Sonic. It's about halfway done in terms of sketching. I might go ahead and leave it as a sketch comic for the time being. I just haven't been in outlining/coloring mode lately. Expect to see it up on my deviantArt page soon (I shall update you).

Also, I joined Second Life over a month ago. That's the main reason I haven't been doing anything. GOOD GRIEF it's fun. D:

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"Bless those who persecute you; bless, and do not curse." - Romans 12:14

A Century After Sonic (comic update + colored sketch)

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I might as well reveal that my Sonic fancomic will be called A Century After Sonic. This is why only two of the canon characters will be shown. Here is another conceptual drawing of another character. Most elaborate character art I've done so far. I'll probably just post drawn sketches of my comic characters from now on (it takes a while to outline/color/shade/etc), or at least until I get the comic up sometime late this month or next month. I plan to get busy with development soon (I'm such a procrastinator), so perhaps it may very well be late this month, but I can promise nothing.

More to come, and thank you for waiting.

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"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, and whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16

Not even Sonic can explain this one... (comic)

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Click here to see a comic I drew yesterday. What has Sonic gotten himself into...

It's simple lineart. Unrelated to the comics I plan to release in about a month or so. Speaking of THOSE comics, HERE'S THE SKETCH of one of the characters who will be present in said comics, just in case you missed it. Last blog didn't get but one comment, so I figured you did.

Edit: Now it has 2, 3 if you count one I posted.

And now, something funny from notalwaysright.com:

(It was literally 3 minutes before closing time, and someone called us.)

Drunk Customer: "Ehhhhhh hello?"

Me: "Sir, we are at closing time."

Drunk Customer: "Oh... well, can I have a large cheese pizza and a cheeseburger?"

Me: "Sir, it is closing time. We're done for the day. And we don't serve burgers."

Drunk Customer: "Okay, can you just...uuuhhhhh...make me a pizza really fast then?"

Me: "Sir, I'm sorry, but we're closing."

Drunk Customer: "COME ON! IT'S 10 PM, I'M HUNGRY, AND ALL I WANT IS A PIZZA!"

Me: "Sir, it's 10:01. We are closed."

Drunk Customer: *unusually calm* "Okay...I'll go to McDonald's."

Me: "Good night, sir."

Drunk Customer: "Good night...I love you..." *hangs up*

(Quite frankly, it made my day.)

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"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..." - 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

A sketch of one of my comic characters, and some updates + a funny e-mail

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Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, or good night, depending on wherever you are. I've just finished my TailsxOC fanfic, Hover Beside. Summary: Tails & his new female friend continue to become closer, especially after the psychotic Bean the Dynamite takes hostages in a bank with a dirty bomb. Can things hold up after a nerve gas attack & a kidnapping? Contains strong violence in some places, terrorism, and suspense.

HERE'S THE SKETCH!

As for the comic itself, I've written a simple outline for the first 36 panels. It's been amusing so far. I'll probably have to condense some of panels, though, because the way things are going, the first story arc may be hundreds of panels long. I'll probably split the arc into separate issues. I suppose this isn't too alarming, since a typical (from what I've noticed) StH story arc contains around 230 panels. I plan to add more panels-per-scene for description purposes, so my first story arc may be 400+. This is all up in the air, though. There's still much more planning to be done.



--------TWO DOLLA BILLZ--------

I got another e-mail made of win. The younger generation apparently doesn't even know $2 bills exist.
----------------

STORY:
On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for
a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill.

I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not
have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying
to break a $50 bill.

Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.'
Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'
Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand
him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: 'Uh , hang on a sec, I'll be right back.'

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.
The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me.'
Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.' He comes back to me and says,
'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'
Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?'
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me
like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
Serv er: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

The manager approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take
big bills this time of night.'

Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why.'
Manager: ' Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: ' Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'What on earth for?'
Manager: ' Please, sir.'
Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security
on the phone around the corner.

I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and
I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later
this 45-year-oldish guy Comes in.

Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some
(pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other
thing he has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah.'

Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying
to use.'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

At this point I am ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat,
so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this
two dollar bill.

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I 'm taking a swing
at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and
he says, 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'

Manager: 'It's fake.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too. Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.
If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too.
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"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, and whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16

Get a fire extinguisher (+ comic update)

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Found this on a forum. Originated as an email. Comic update is below.
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Texas Chili Contest


If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. (NC-- so was I...)

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. (NC-- I was amused...)

They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.


Frank: 'Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted'.


Here are the scorecard notes from the event:


CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...


Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy [expletive], what the [expletive] is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.



CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...


Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.



CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...


Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.

Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting [drunk] from all of the beer.



CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...


Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?



CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...


Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really [ticks] me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.



CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...


Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.> Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I [defecated] on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my [butt] with a snow cone.



CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...


Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the
4-inch hole in my stomach.



CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...


Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?

Judge # 3 - No Report


-----UPDATES-----

Character development on my comic continues. I may try to start uploading promotional art this week.


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"Bless those who persecute you; bless, and do not curse." - Romans 12:14