Since I've been going to the doctor I've summarily found that most of my pain right now is merely from scar tissue buildup from all the work I've had done on myself over the years, and I was given the green light to begin exercising like I used to.
In the past, I've noted that the Story of My Life has been quite different than most of the people I know via Gamespot. I was a jock in high school, a big sports guy...I never really had any issues with dating like so many of my friends, I was generally considered the life of the party (though I was never a drinker- go figure). I always enjoyed video games too, but they weren't my passion. I was more apt to be out with a girl than at home with a game.
Before I make a long story too long, the point is that over the last several months my interest in gaming has waned, as I have said. Every time I sit down to play, I often feel the itch to get up and move...another trait that disassociates me from many of my fellow gaming friends. I just cannot "veg out." When I thought about it, I found that the massive amount of time gaming that I did was always associated with being "layed up," from some various medical problems. And boy have I had a lot of those over the last ten years. It truly altered who I was as a person, mostly in a bad way (mentally and physically).
Now that I'm as ok as I've ever been physically, the interest to sit and just play video games just isn't there. Track conditioning started, and I've come to realize that coaching- that's what I'm really good at. I feel at home there with what I do, I feel self-confident...I just generally feel good about myself. Is it perfect? No, of course not. But, when I'm sitting at home staring at a computer or television screen, I don't feel good. I feel sluggish, depressive, worthless...like my life is wasting away.
So I've been biking, hiking, walking, lifting weights again. Doing woodwork again. Working on home projects. And it feels great.
I've lost 21 pounds in the last 4 weeks already. More inches than pounds, because I'm putting on muscle mass that I used to have and lost. I still have a long way to go to where I want to be, but I have the motivation and drive to do it that I had long lost. A few years ago I was there, but only because of my reflux surgery disallowing me to eat- not the same.
I don't eat fast food anymore. I don't eat red meat. I take vitamin supplements, I do things healthy in general. And now that I'm back into that routine, I feel so ungodly better it's really inarticulable. No more sluggish moments, no more late nights of not sleeping, no more depression and feeling of worthlessness.
Does this mean that anyone who's not like me is a bad person now? Of course not. Does that mean I'll never game again? Nope. I'm still me, but I've adjusted it to a better type of me. Fact is, sitting on your ass and gaming and eating with little recourse for anything else is a bad way to live; something that's NEVER brought up on a gaming site (naturally).
What propelled me into this line of mental state? A few things; I have several extremely large friends and relatives as well, and a few of them I'm legitimately afraid they're going to die a premature death. Part of it was the depression of not fitting into my clothes anymore. Part of it was the physical and mental state I was in. A big part was sitting at a Magic:The Gathering shop one day thinking "I don't want to be these people in ten years." They're free to live their lives as they so choose and I respect that, but it's not for me. I saw people ten years younger than me who weighed 200 lbs. more than me. I saw people ten years older than me with no money, no families (wives, girlfriends, nothing), looking haggard, sleep deprived from long nights of gaming and sleeping in and junk food...and I didn't want to be them either. It's just not my genetic makeup.
I've rambled on too long in my trademark style, so I'll stop for now. I'm mostly free writing this out, so if it's disjointed so be it. I apologize for nothing, because free writing is good for the soul. Until next time kids, don't take any wooden nickels.