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And The Main Character Dies (Not Always a Bad Thing)

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So I recently finished watching a movie (not saying the name of it) that ended in the main character dying. Now this isn't always a bad way to end a story in my opinion but the way this movie ended felt empty, like there was a budget cut or something. Basically the main character died, nobody found out about it, nothing good came out of the main character's actions and everything the movie showed seemed to have been for nothing. Part of what makes a character good in my opinion is that they change something, if they die they are remembered in some way and their death is known, they don't just simply dissappear from existance (in this case quite literally) never to be heard of again. The antagonist can win but the main characters actions should mean something.

Seriously, when the main character just dies the same way a minor character would with almost no closure than a great deal of the impact of the story is lost. At least all the questions should be answered, here the main character was just...killed, and the movie ended. There was another movie that ended in a similar way that was released very recently and while it was a very good movie overall the ending left something to be desired and that can change a persons whole opinion on a movie.

And if you really want to know what the movie was called I'll put it in a spoiler along with a link to the first video out of 6 so you can watch the movie yourself if you want to. It was a good movie and it's worth a watch especially if it's free on YouTube.

[spoiler] The movie was called They. For some reason I can't post a link but just search They 2002 on YouTube and you should find it. [/spoiler]

I've Been Having a Bad Day.

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OK, so I came back to school from my 11 day break because of a chemical fire in one of the science rooms that damaged the whole English wing. When I came back I was thinking to myself in my physics class, about how I'm not very good at math and how I don't really have anything I'm really naturally talented at, something that really sets me apart from everybody else and a natural skill that will help me with my ultimate career. I'm not very good at math and I'm not interested in getting into engineering despite the fact that I surround myself with engineers who are telling me great ways to get into engineering schools. It's kind of funny actually, both of my parents were engineers and my sister naturally enjoys math. For me, I was born with an imagination but I don't know how I can use that, I don't think some of the things I come up with are so great all the time since I realize that everybody has ideas and it makes me feel like I'm nothing special.

Einstein said that imagination is more important than intelligence but I feel as though that is less true now, it seems like engineers are more wanted and I just see myself being left behind. I'm jealous of all the people who are able to answer math problems easily and are actually interested in this stuff. I'm also jealous of the people who are naturally intelligent, my IQ is 107, I hate how I couldn't be born with an intelligence that could stack up to other people but I feel like I'm on the low side. I've developed a sort of inferiority complex and I realize it's not good but I'm finding it hard to find what I will do with myself when I get out into the real world. I feel like everyone is an engineer, there are some people that are writers but I just feel like all of my friends are good at doing engineering things, even my family is good at this stuff. How did I end up being the kid with an imagination? And I don't even have an imagination that works well with realistic situations, I hate coming up with things that work in reality, it's not fun and my mind always diverts to ridiculous designs of things. This wont get me anywhere.

Well, my ultimate goal is to be in the video game industry so I guess ridiculous ideas are good there, but than again over there I still need to be good at math in many cases or art and I can't draw or design things for my life. I can come up with ideas and write decently I guess, I don't know about the writing part. And even than, I might not even be able to get into the video game industry, where will I go than? Maybe I could become a critic? I don't know, am I a good enough writer for that? I'm at the point in my life where I should really figure out where I'm going and feel comfortable with that but I don't know where I'm going, I feel like I'm going to be left behind by all the people I know in the end. I'm not giving up or anything but whenever I come to this realization I just end up having a very bad day from than on, I just wanted to share that with you guys.

Just cleaned my computer

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So I just cleaned my computer today and I figured I should take some pictures just for hell of it to show you guys the wonderful, dusty, power cord infested inside of my computer, this is where all the magic happens.:)

This was after it was cleaned


This was before.






I've Been Doing Some Thinking

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So another user told me that I needed to get some friends, develop a social life, and get outside. I have actually been thinking to myself about just that, I need to get out, I feel like I'm going a little stir crazy but what I was thinking about was what the sorce of my social problems is. What I came up with is that at least part of my social problems is due partly because of my ADHD medication.

If you knew me in real life you would notice a strong differnece between me when I'm medicated and me when I'm unmedicated. When I'm medicated I'm much more quite and a lot more unaware of what's going on because I'm thinking a lot more. When I'm unmedicated I talk a lot more but the problem is that I obviously can't focus and I tend to get in trouble a lot more. I'm much happier unmedicated, I go around talking to people like every day is a party and I express creativity much more easily although to many people I may come off as a bit crazy. The disiplinary problems come from how I can be almost shameless when unmedicated, I'll take dares and I'll think very little before I speak.

The question here is that in order for me to become more social I'm curious if it may be in my best interests to stop taking the medication and start from there in order to develop a social life. People have told me up front that I'm much more fun to be with when unmedicated, people have asked that I just stop taking my medication all together so I can be this fun person all the time. Sometimes if I'm in a really good mood I can actually gain a personality when I'm medicated and people will actually ask me if I took my meds that morning. The way people disern the difference between me with medicine and me without is whether or not I have a personality, I feel like that's a little worrysome. If I can just learn to not make an a$$ out of myself when unmedicated which is usually where people stop liking me when I'm like that than I might be able to go without the medicine.

There is also a more personal problem with not taking my medicine. When I go unmedicated I will get this felling that is best described as being uncomfortably energetic. I have this gnawing discomfort that makes me want to move but I'm not compelled to play sports or anything like that so I just end up jumping around my room and standing on my desk chair. I could run around my neighborhood but as I've said before I don't really want to come into contact with the kids in my neighborhood. I've literally been bullied by these kids to the point where I just don't want to leave the house if they're outside and it's horrible. I would somehow have to deal with the feeling of being uncomfortably energetic.

After I quite my meds I guess I'll start talking to more people and making more friends. I'll use Facebook more and learn about the people in my town.

I got some weird kids in my school.

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My school is full of weird kids, I know every high school is but this one has quite a large number of strange folk. I'm going to start my little rant with a kid who sits at my lunch table named Colin. Colin has this weird smirk on his face a lot of the time and sometimes he appears to talk to himself, he eats with his mouth open and I mean come on he should have learned not to do that when he was five or seven. He's into dark humor and sometimes says things people would rather not want to know in my algebra class. Another thing he does occasionally is come to school in a kilt, like a Scottish man skirt. I can't decide if he's a badass for doing this or just weird and I'm almost certain he does this just to get attention.

Than we have the other kids at my lunch table and these guys are just annoying. They have this obsession over euphemisms, they are currently working to come up with as many slang terms for penis vagina anus, whatever as possible and it's really annoying having to listen to these kids at lunch everyday. I don't really want to sit near anybody else though since I don't know any other kids and a lot of the other tables seem to have the same thing going on. There is also a kid at my table who is under the complete delusion that he's in the mafia, he paces his speech in a way that makes him sound like he's in the mafia and walks around with expensive watches and thinks he can't be messed with. Than there's the red headed kid who always seems to give off this a$$hole vibe, he's one of those people that you just want to punch in the face for some reason. He's a bit weird too but the worst part about him is that he has this bad disposition towards all people and has a complete disregard for the people around him, maybe that's why he seems like such an a$$hole.

Than there's all the girls who talk about sex to the point where it's annoying. The girls that are both ugly on the outside and the inside and for some reason they have friends. There's was this one girl who looks like a guy, has pink hair, and yells everything she says who would sit at my lunch table last year and give sex tips to these girls at one end of the table. I listened to this for days; she was one of those people that just talk about all the things you would rather not have learned of and she talks about them in great detail. These people are all over the place, I know that we all want to have sex and stuff but seriously, these people are obnoxious with the subject and after awhile dirty sex jokes everyday all day gets pretty annoying.

A story (I haven't come up with a name yet.)

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Ben awoke to the sound of the generator that powered the village, a gentle hum that both lulled him to sleep and welcomed him to a new day. He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and fell back onto his bed and moaned to himself. Today was his work day; he tended the water purifier every Thursday. It was a hard job but a necessary one, people would thank him for his service to the village and it gave him a good feeling knowing that he helps to keep the town in working order and that made it worthwhile. So Ben willed himself to get out of bed and went to go get some breakfast. The kitchen was lit only by the sunlight coming through the window, dust floated throughout the rays of light reminding Ben that he need to clean his house. There was an arched window that was positioned right above the table, it peered just above the ground like that of a basement window. Ben's kitchen would be considered dirty to most people, especially to us. There was a make-shift oven made of rusty metal, the seats and table were scavenged from an abandoned diner, something Ben was quite proud of since it took him quite some time to get them back to his house safely. His cabinets were made of particle board he found in a factory, and on the ground rested a cooler he used to keep his food fresh.

He searched the kitchen for any food that he had left, he needed to go out and get some more but he just never felt like doing it. Eventually he found some leftover chicken from Monday and he ate that for breakfast. When Ben was finished eating he cleared his place and walked out the door. Today was a very average day for Ben; he walked down the dirt path to the water purifier and greeted everyone he met on his way. He wasn't the most popular member of the village but people didn't bother with him, he had friends but he lived a pretty quiet life and was perfectly content with it. Eventually he arrived at the water purifier; he walked inside and clocked himself in, greeted Eddy his boss, and got to work. Ben's job was to clean the water purifier and to change the filter, when he was done Eddy gave him two free gallons of water which served as Ben's salary. He used this water to trade for food and other services and for personal use as well. However, Ben didn't trade his water for much other than food, anything else that he wanted he ventured outside of the village and found it himself. Ben didn't hunt though, he was never a good hunter which made him a bit of an embarrassment to his father but Ben always loved to leave the village. He loved to explore and seeing what was left of the old world, we wasn't afraid to fight though, that wasn't what made him a bad hunter it was his constant desire to see what was in each building. When he went out he always carried a gun for good measure but he loved to surround himself in the ruins of the Old World and bringing the things he found back home.

"Good morning, Ben." Greeted Eddie, "I've got something different for you this time around Ben, I want you to investigate some weird clanking sounds I heard in the boiler room last night."

"Sure, did you notice anything different about the water quality or an abnormal amount of steam coming from the boilers? " Replied Ben.

"I didn't notice an excess amount of steam but I never thought to check the water quality. It's good that you reminded me I'm getting old, I can't remember to do these things as much as I used to."

"I'll check it out." And with that Ben entered the boiler room and began searching for the source of the clanking. The boiler room was a relatively small room, it was badly lit and hot as hell. Maintaining the boiler room wasn't a popular job and the spot was usually taken up by the newest employee. People usually worked fast in the boiler room so they could get out of that hot, oppressive environment but Ben had to take his time. He was on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary in a room made up of scrap metal, rushing would only make him overlook things and possibly take even longer.

Ben searched all over the room until he came upon a broken valve. He picked it up and looked around the area it had fallen to find where it belonged and found its place. However, when he tried to put it back into the mechanism it was part of it didn't fit. Ben left the boiler room with the valve in hand ready to deliver the news to Eddie.

"Eddie, I found a broken valve. It must have come loose and got damaged from the fall off that pipe. What's the status on the water?"

"Not good, it seems that the water has parasites in it, we can't distribute this water until that part is replaced."

"OK, then I'll check out the market, see if any vendors have the part we need."

So Ben walked to the market and talked to some merchants for a while but could never find the right valve needed to make the boiler work. On his way back to the water purifier he realized that he needed to find a valve outside of the village.

"Eddie, I couldn't find a valve so I'm going out to find one outside the village, I'll be back with the right valve, I promise."

Ben returned to his house and grabbed his assault rifle and ammo from under his bed. He put on his jacket, picked up his survival knife, slung his rifle over his back, and he left his house and headed towards the village gate. At the gate, Ben showed his scavenging license and he was allowed through, beyond the gate lied the vast remnants of the Old World. The ruins began with what was left of a suburb, as you continue walking, depending on the direction, the buildings of the suburb start to change to more warehouse type buildings and small office buildings and further still is what was left of a city. There is also a rural area that is found far to the west of the suburb but not much is left there after the Old World was destroyed.

Ben walked down the streets of the suburb in search of a good, intact house to look inside for a valve. The streets were silent with the exception of the wind blowing and the whole area gave him an eerie feeling of being watched. After walking for about twenty minutes Ben found a good house to check. He walked inside and began his search.

The house was very dark and dusty, it reeked of rotting wood. Ben stood in the middle of what looked almost like a lobby sort of room. There were two doorways on either sides of the opposite end of the room and there was a doorway on both the right and left walls in the lobby. A staircase rose from near the center of the lobby and on the way up curved around the room until it met the second floor. Ben walked through the door on the left side of the other end of the room and entered what looked like a kitchen. He looked around the kitchen and found a door to his left and when he opened it he found stairs leading down. At the bottom of the staircase Ben entered a basement, in this basement he found a boiler that might have the part he needed. Ben looked over the boiler until he found a valve and he carefully removed the valve from its pipe. With his job complete Ben began his return home.

However, Ben was not one to easily stop exploring and upon leaving the house he changed his mind about returning home immediately and decided to continue walking through the suburb. This proved to be a very good decision because it would later help his village with a very grave threat.

He walked down the streets for another twenty minutes, slowly loosing track of time until he heard something strange. A sort of fast "thwap, thwap, thwap" sound broke the almost dead silence of the suburb. Ben followed the sound until he found a group of people talking in front of some sort of vehicle; the people had strange bodies that seemed to shine in the sunlight but only on certain parts of their bodies. He watched these people open up their vehicle and bring out another person; this one didn't have any shining parts of their body. The person who got out of the vehicle seemed afraid and his reason for being afraid was soon made clear when one of the other men pulled out a gun on him. Ben could hear them talking to each other, he moved in closer to them to hear them better.

"I'm not going to let you hurt the people of that village!"

"Your disobedience will only hurt yourself, we don't need you that bad to be honest, I could just shoot you right now and we would still find the village."

"No, don't do that! I'll tell you where it is OK just don't shoot me and please, don't torture me in the helicopter anymore!"

"Fine, where is the village from here?"

"By helicopter it's about 20 minutes to the east, there is an old national park there."

"Thank you, you have been of great service to us, but if we let you live you'll probably squeal to the villagers so I think I'm going to kill you anyway."

"No, no, you bastard! Don't kill me!" The man got up to run but before he could take his first step away from his captors they shot him dead.

Ben was shocked by this, not only by the sight of the man being killed but by what he just learned. These men were looking for his village.