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jussicpark Blog

Need Advice and Where Have I Been?

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It has been a long time since I posted here, but now, I felt that now is the time to post a blog. I need some advice. regrading my college program.

The program I'm in now is Game Programming.

I enjoy the program but there were a few classes that gives me constant struggles. But I managed to pass almost all of them, thanks to my two tutors. I have to redo one class I had in semester 1 in September and because I chose to sleep early yesterday, I have that class on Thrusdays, 3 to 6 PM.

But in the meantime, I'm beginning to question myself, if I should continue or not. The classes that actually focus on making a game and getting it to work: Microsoft Visual Studio, Action Flash CS 6, and Unity. Of the 3, Unity is the one I liked. But the thing they all have in common is coding. I don`t get nor understand the coding, what so ever. Mainly, what does each function do or what function I have to use. There were 2 classes were I got an A and a B, classes I really love. But they were just a normal classes (online). The others fall under C to D.

Literally, I`m thinking of giving up but if I do that, then there is nothing else I want to do. I was given a survey test for careers that I could try, but nearly everything the test mention, does not interest me and it came back negative. I talked to several people within the college, and they told me that if I leave in Jan 2014 (4th semester) I can take a break and come back to go the 4th semester. But the only problem is, that I have to come back in Jan 2015, since its only offered in January.

They suggest to take the year off, go outside more, but mainly, volunteer and see if I find something that interests me. My older brother has been telling me to do that for a long time, but I not really the volunteering type. An example was when I joined a club in high school, mainly because I needed the hours to graduate. My other idea is to try to go back to my first college and see if I can try to finished the 2nd year of the program I took there, since they recently made the passing grade a 50. Also, they recommeded me that I take another program, which is one year and helps me prepare for the working world. But there are 3 things in the way:

1. My head coordinator will probably convince me, not to take the 2nd year, based on my marks and that the classes are university level.

2. Even if I do managed to get back in, if I pass everything and get the diploma, then what is next for me to do?

3. That program that helps me for working, my older brother and mother thinks its a waste of time.

Plus, I`m been using student loans to pay for everything, and it will continue to pile up. And I don`t really like using it.

Mainly, what I want for my program, is that I understand the coding and anything else that comes in my way. Right now, my goal is to make my two franchises, that I've been writing about for the last 15 years, a reality and hopefully, they will become popular. Or at least, have a fan base, even if its a small one. My 3rd semester begins this upcoming Tuesday and I`m not really looking forward to it.

After everything that has happen, is there any advice you can give me? Any kind of advice, will be helpful. And though this is unlikely, I will try to be more active here.

- jussicpark

My Birthday, 21 Years Old, What does 2013 Offer Me?

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Today is my birthday, and I am now 21 years old.

On a side note, I should take this time to explained what has happan to me since the last time I posted a blog. I don't remember what I wrote last time, but I just say what is happaning to me now.

My night school is almost finished, 4 more classes, and I'm done. Hopefully, I'll passed and get my credit to help me apply to my old college, incase something happans to my new one, that I will be starting this upcoming Tuesday.

Yup, I thought one year of college was enough for me, but it seems that my parents want me to do better, so I decided that I will do one thing that I never thought I could do......turn my "novel" that I been working on for the last 15 years, into a video games series, which I always wanted to do in the first place. The only problem, I suck at math and computers, so If I failed this......then I have no future, no goals, nothing to lived for expect waiting for the day I died. After I left high school, I literally believed that was it, there was nothing left for me to do anymore. I suvive 6 years of hell in elementary school, I survive high school, which I will treasure the memories, took a year off to get my math credit, only to later enter college, and to me shock, I passed my problem's first year. By my head teacher's request, I changed problems and Game Programming sounds like something I might need to do, if I want my 2 franchases....to be real. Will my games have a small fanbase? Will it be hated by gamers all over the world? Or will it be popular, spawing an anime, novels, comic books, film adaptions (which I might worry) and will it leave a legecy that the world will remember and past on for the future to know. I will just have to see myself, make it myself, and see where it does. Even if my 2 ideas suck, I least I know I made them, my way, and playing them myself, is good enough for me.

(Gamespot Only)

Also, I notice that people at still posting blogs. I thought Gamespot got rid of the blogs a long time ago since I keep seeing 0 comments on the new blogs, but after seeing a few, there are people still posting comments. Hopefully for me, people can comment on my blogs, so I can get advice and support. Becasue I been thinking of just keeping my accounts, but retire from blogging. Just like what happan to my DA account.

I hope I didn't take to much of your time by reading this, but I still feel like blogging, something that I still enjoy, but is starting to lose it's nature for me to do.

Happy New Year 2013, and for me, hopefully, I will still post blogs and commented on other people's blogs to.

I'm still active here on Gamspot, (21/09/2012)

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Hello everyone, it has been a long time since I posted a blog here, so I want to write on what have I been doing since that last blog post I made.

For awhile, TV.com removed the blog system though I was well aware that I can still post blogs here on Gamespot. Before the removal of the blogs, a friend of mine informed me of a new site to posts blogs, and that site is PeopleTV.com. So far, I have taken a liking to it. Here is my profile for the new site: http://www.people-tv.net/apps/profile/98394374/

As for my devarintART account, I have come to terms to stop posting blogs there, since I never got a comment in a LONG TIME. To be honsent, I can close my account right now, if I want to, since the purpose of me creating in the first place, is gone now. But since I still upload pictures, I decided to keep it around. Plus, there is a couple of people I talk to, and I get praise for the pictures I uploaded.

For my life, I have finished my first year of college, and given the advice of my head teacher of my program, she recommended me that I pick another course, and I did: Game Programming. Since grade 3, I had a series in my mind, that I wished to be a game series, followed by the novels, a anime, and I will see what happans. If I suceeded in the program that is. My biggest complaint is that I have to go to another school to do it. My current college has a game programming course to, but I will have to wait till next years September 2013, to apply. Also, I need a grade 11/12 science credit in my school record. Right now, I recently applied for grade 11 Biology for night school, for this semester. It will last from September 26th to January 21st 2013. Right now, Im just waiting for the acceptance email from them. It will be around the same time, if the new school that I applied to, accepts me. I only received one letter from them, but there is still time since I applied for January 2013. Also, my student loan is coming up, meaning I have to start paying them back soon.

So as of right now, Im justing waiting for my acceptance letters for night school and the new college. I should get something from them by the end of the month. I am just so mad that I have to change schools for this program, yes, I can applied for my currents school game program but I will have to wait till next year, and my mother doesnt like the idea, and so do I, although, there is one positive to doing it but I cant say.

The main difference between the programs, in terms of admisson requirements is that my current college needs a grade 11/12 science credit, while my new school doesnt it. I even talked to the head professor of my current school, and he told me that both schools will teach the same stuff but a few small changes to each other. Even telling him my plan, that I take one year of my new school program, and if I dont like it/tell me to go somewhere else, I could apply for my current school but he said that I could but since they both teach the same stuff, there would be no point. But in the end, it is my chose on what to do. I still need more time to think about, but as least I have something to think about for the next three months. Which, I am not going to enjoy.

Hopefully, I make the right decisions soon. Thanks for reading, I would like to get some advice on my current situlations.

U.T.M.L #29 (02/06/2012): Had Fun at Anime Convention

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Hey everyone, how is everyone.

Nothing new is happaning to me now. Summer school is getting there, but nothing new. I have a few stress relate topics to discuss, but I?m not really in the mood to write it down now. Maybe another time. On the another hand, I went to a anime convention last weekend. Aside from Saturday, where I lost my pass, then payed another $20 for a new one, I had a good time. Below, is a picture of what I brought within the 3 day convention.


See you guys at the next blog post.

U.T.M.L #28 (20/05/2012): Where I Been Doing Lately

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Hey everyone, how is everyone. It sure has been a month or so since I posted a blog here, but college was ending, meaning the last few weeks were stressful. The worst part of my exam week, was that I got sick the Thursday before my exam week, and I had to do all 5 exams, while I was sick. It was so hard, that I barely got myself up to do two exams on Tuesday, but I still went.

Before the exam week, there were three courses that I thought I would fail. Turns out, I passed two of them. One of my exams I wrote on the Tuesday, I barely study, so when I read the questions, I thought I was going to failed for sure. I wrote what I knew and BS the whole thing, but I manged to passed it. 22.5 ouf of 30, was my mark if my memory serves me right. I passed my math course, which I should have done the first time around, but math is finally over now. But I did failed one course.

Since I failed that once course, and I need another course to get my certicarte, I was force to go to summer school. The worst parts, it ends at July 27, 2012 and it?s at a different building, since my college is broken up to three parts, South, North, and another city, outside my city, where I live. I went to the south building, where I started college, and now I have to go to the North building, to do my summer school. I only positives is that it?s only twice a week, Monday and Wednesday, and both days end at 1:30 PM. So Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, I have off, as well as weekend. So I guess it?s not that bad.

Also, it turns out that I now have a development disorder. It?s worse then a learning disability but I don?t care anymore. 6 years of bullying, will stay on my mind, forever. That basically is what is going on with my life, just summer school and stress about my future. Life is so hard to live with, when you have problems to deal with.

Hopefully, I would go back posting blogs like I used to. Thanks for reading.

U.T.M.L #27 (16/03/2011): My Test Results....

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Hello everyone, how are you. I'm not in the best of moods lately, as I was supposed to post this blog on February 29, 2012 but I was busy, and March 1st, but again, I was busy with them.

Three weeks ago, I found out that one of my professors is going for surgery next the following Tuesday of the next week, meaning that she will not be teaching me for the reminder of the semester, as I will be getting a new professor, for the course. Really sad, as her class who one that I didn't hate. The only class that I usually look forward, really. I wish her a speedy recovery.

But the one thing that has been bothering me lately, as a test I took a few weeks ago. But first, a little personal history about me.

In grade three, school was a hard time. Before grade three, in grade two, I was told that I was supposed to go to a new school. However, something happen, and I couldn't go. I then went to a new school, but something "happen" which lead me to change school. Then I moved into another school, which lead me to make the biggest mistake in my life. I go to a school, where ALL OF MY "NEW" CLASSMATES HATED ME!!!!

The reason that they hated me was because I did that "happen" again, on day one, and they all started to avoid and don't talked to me. And in a matter of days, more hatred came, when I was put into the special education class. For my class, anyone who was in the special class was "Stupid", "Retarded" and a "Loser." I then learned that I had a learning disability, which means I needed to go to special ed class. And I was FIRST ONE, in the class, to need to go to special ed class, which to some of them, ruined their perfect class, as there was no "retards" in the class.

And then, for the next 6 years, grades 3 to 8, I was bullied, harassed, looked down, and never talked to, from both boys and girls, because of my learning problem. Now granted, more kids were added to the class, but they all had something, that the class knows them by. One was the class bully, one was easily make fun off yet great at basketball, one was part of the popular girl group, one was always sick, and one was really "hot." And me? The black sleep that was never there, and no one could care less, even if that the car struck me, in grade 4, or that I got really sick, and missed two months of school, that went I came back, no one said "welcome back to me." Yup, those for the dark years of my life.

Because I tried to fit in, I tried to do what to did and stop watching the shows that would have made me "uncool." It was because I them, I stop watching Powers Rangers, missed out on Dragaonball Z, and many others. I had fun watching them as a kid, since they were my heroes, like maybe I could have been a hero or go on a wild adventure, to save the world. I try my best to watch Power Rangers Samurai, and while it is ok, I would have been better, if I watched it as a kid, or watch all the PW seasons up to this point. I would get excited when it was 'Morphing Time" and seeing the heroes morph to the Powers Rangers. Now, I just stare at the Samurai morphs and feel nothing, no excitement what so ever.

That school ruined my childhood years, and on grade 7, I started to act like a serious teenager, and that lead me nowhere, even though I never got in trouble, did my my homework on time, go to school, even though I was sick, and suffer 6 hours a day, to people who hated me. I was glad when I left that school.

Then high school came. Those were the best years of my life. Though I still had the disability, no one care as I met many new people that I will never forget.

Now college begins. Before I started college, I showed them that I have a IEP, meaning the learning disability. However, the reports never indicated that I had one since a medical doctor, never confirmed it. So, they set me up with a psychoist and to find out if I did have one. I did a 6 hour test for them, and I got the results, like 2 weeks later.

At the meeting, the doctor did small talk, and then we got down to business. Eventually, it turns out that…

I never had a learning disability, ever……..

6 years……6 YEARS of BULLYING, because of my disability and it turns out, I NEVER HAD ONE TO BEGIN WITH!!!!! (Screams)

You guys and girls don't know how mad I am right now, my whole childhood ruined, bad memories I have to keep in my head forever, and many other that I can't even begin to write. Man, I hate my life.

However, I now discovered that what I DO have something, which is a memory disorder, which affects my school and personal life. My brain forgets things faster, especially if I'm being taught something, and there is so much information, about it. This I can accept, since I forget things all the time. But all this time, those six years……..is for NOTHING!!!! Sigh……..life sucks, and then you die.

All this time, I thought I was one of those people. I usually hung around with people with the same problem but now I'm not one of them anymore. I feel like I had been kicked out of my circle of friends or by a group of people. This has to be the biggest truth I have ever been told. This disability represented me who I was, and now, I feel like I'm nothing without it. I'm just a normal person, just fine. The lady told me it will be the best thing for me, to know I don't have one. This is the other way around; this is the worst thing to happen to me.

*Sighs* Maybe I should play video games or work on some assignments. Thanks if you read the whole thing.

All I can say is, that if there is a class reunion for elementary school in the future…..I'm not going, end of story.

U.T.M.L #26 (15/02/2011): Got a Week Off of College & Test Reults

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I hope everyone had a good Valentine`s day yesterday. As for me, it was nothing special.

Anyways, nothing is new happaning to me. College is been bothersome, but with my week off, I should calm down alittle. It would also be a good week for me to catch up with my college assignements.

Remember that test that took me 6 hours to do? Well, I`m getting the results this Friday. I hope I get what I want.

That pretty muchs ends this blog. Thanks for reading!

U.T.M.L #25 (31/12/2011): New Semester of College, Other Things Mention

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Thanks to everyone that said happy birthday in my last blog, you guys are the best! Yea, 20 years old, not much different from 19. I didn't get that much birthday wishes from facebook, 21 this year. But I got more outside of facebook. I didn't do anything for my birthday, just sat home.

I made my twitter account on my birthday, but I used a different name. I'm not going to post the link though, for proctection reasons.

I started my 2nd semester of college, man, harder then the first set of classes. And the worse part, I have to take the math course again becasue I HAVE to PASS ALL COURSES!! Meaning that the class I was suppose to take, my vampire class, I might do in the summer, NNNOOOO!! The vampire class, will be optional class for me though.

That pretty sums up what I being up to, thanks for reading everyone!