jg4xchamp / Member

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No seriously Anita Ekberg back in 1960? could get it.


What, it's true. Even as the show has gotten stale(really stale), the art has gotten worst(It's just simply not as expressive as it used to be), and they'll never live up to the golden oldies, they've got stories for years. And I'm all cool with that, Long Live The Simpsons.

Now where as my 24 hour Simpsons channel? because come on.

So with GTA 5 out this week it's time for me to talk about stuff that isn't GTA 5.

You People: Awww, but I want GTA 5 speak like every other mother f*cker on gamespot, did you even buy it?


Yes, yes I did.

I'm just not playing it anytime soon.

You people: Why?

Stop interrupting my flow here with your questions, SHEESH....Lets break these down

A: I don't really play games like that. My real ability is to purchase games, and not play them till weeks or months after I buy them, because YOLO.

B: I promised Justin(and mostly myself, since I love myself) that I was going to get other write ups done for the site, and then get to GTA 5, since I have access to some varied games. Currently I've already knocked away Rayman Legends and Mark of the Ninja. I have to get to the two Amnesia games, Wonderful101, Pikmin 3, and Antichamber(especially since the Pedal to the Medal guys bought me that game, and Tom Towers swears buy it).

And for tthe 2 or 3 people who do post on my shit, and arent' from SW, Pedal to the Metal is a System Wars podcast. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McdMZ31lnWo

It's a pretty good listen, yes some of you might argue it doesn't have enough Gagan, but come on we don't hold that against the Bombcast now do we? Plus unlike the Brocasts I do with my endlessbacklog mates, they actually are way better organized and actually do stuff week to week. They are fun listens, and you might recognize some of the posters they pick(it's basically a gamespot community podcast), and of course I linked you the one with me. Duh.

Anyway more to the point. I'm just not feeling into a GTA mood right now. I saw my boy play it, I saw vinny play it on Giantbomb, and I mean it does look good. It does look like something where the Housers went

"Here champ, you happy, the gameplay doesn't suck this time".

So it does look like I will eat crow here, and have to admit that post San Andreas Rockstar was able to make a good game. Because GTA 4 obviously sucked, and the likes of Max Payne 3 and Red Dead Redemption only peaked at decent

You People: Champ I'm stupid, and I don't know what okay and decent means, can you describe those games in review scores

Well I'll do it out of multiple review scales.

On a 10 point scale: 6 out of 10 for both of them

On a 20 point scale: 6.5 out of 10(13 out of 20 if you're one of those weirdos)

On a 5 point scale: 3 stars

On a 4 point scale: 2 stars

On a 100 point scale: 66 for Red Dead Redemption and 67 for Max Payne 3

On a 200 point scale: 133 for RDR and 135 for Max Payne 3

On a scale where I don't use a f*cking number to get my point across: Decent/Okay

Same scale, but more catchy:

Gameplay has many short comings, but John Marston made the game worth a spin out of 10

The mechanics are nothing short of fantastic, but Rockstar f*cked everything else up out of 10

So yeah that's that, Lets shine some white hot light of truth shall we.



LA Dolce Vita(1960): Yep a movie 28 years before I was born.

A few things, because I'm not going to go in depth here, as everyone that usually reads my shit really isn't into film. And unless I'm saying something super obnoxious sammy doesn't read these, speaking of which DID YOU SEE BEFORE MIDNIGHT you hoe?


A: Anita Ekberg was a total f*cking babe back then.

B: The "This isn't love, this is brutalization" scene is nothing short of f*cking awesome

I liked it, a lot, good job Liz picking the movie out of 10


The Third Man(1949)

Honestly I'm kind of finally seeing exactly what MrTrey loves about watching so many old films. ...Because they didn't have the advantage of all the crazy tech we had, and all these rules and political correct bullshit, their...is a craft to these old films that showcases exactly how important just getting the right angle on the camera helps. I mean there are single shots in this film that are absolutle fantastic. The way the film just builds some simply agonizing tension is nothing short of masterful at times.

Liz feel asleep, but she's a dumb bitch. I thought this movie was good

You Like Noir stuff? Go watch The Third Man out of 10

Also biggest crime in life? Modern posters taking over the posters of old. WHAT THE F*CK HAPPENED TO ALL THIS HAND DRAWN STUFF? It looks infinitely cooler. Way to go Liquid, your pride and joy film industry finding new and exciting ways to get dumber. Hope you're happy.

Okay you're right 2nd biggest crime in life. The biggest crime was Kirsten Dunst's mom giving birth to her. Like that bitch wasn't aware abortion wasn't an option. smh.

Yeah that's it


So I actually have nothing to say on games this week, as I'm too tired, and I guess I drew that opening out way too long to get to Spec Ops again(plus I'm pretty sure I wrote about that game). Hey it's football sunday, so cheers I guess .

I think at some point I'll write about something else. Oh right Aljosa watched 12 Years A Slave at Tiff


As he discovered it's kind of a pain in the ass to talk about films, because you can't really talk about what you want to talk about because you'll spoil the film. And hey frankly given how that I liked Hunger for what it was, I'm sure 12 Years A Slave will be good.

Also surprisingly Gravity doesn't suck. I say surprisingly because while it maybe the same director as Children of Men, and Children of Men is fantastic. I thought the trailers looked so f*cking stupid. I still think trailers wise it looks so f*cking stupid. But apparently the movie is legit, and hey the director did make Children of Men. So I guess I have to go watch Gravity as well.


So yeah, I'll keep it semi, kind of, but not really what so ever classy for once. And finish it off with back in 1960, Anita Ekberg could f*cking get it. Now? old and disgusting. But back then? Definitely.