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Path of a Little B1tch Mode

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So I beat the game on Path of the Acolyte or Ninja Dog for NGB vets, or lets be honest here: Little B1tch mode. Because I was not up to snuff with the mid sections of this game on Warrior. I didn't have the patience for it, and if I remember right that's why I quit the first time I played this game. This time I toned it down to a difficulty I found more appropriate. Which really would be the equivalent of say the normal or say hard mode of other action games(Yes Ninja Gaiden can be that rough or im making excuses, take your pick). So holy f*ck is the final stretch of this game relentless?

Acolyte makes the not so flattering stuff about NG2 tolerable. The cheapness and lack of balance is offset by the more prominent health items(of which I REFUSE to use outside of boss fights since NG1), the cheaper karma prices for items and upgrades, and in general enemies do not spam their unblockable grab moves as awesome. It makes those off camera attacks less infuriating. Also health regen is pretty much a get out of jail free card in a game like NG.

You see in Warrior that red bar can get pretty deep into your health bar(meaning only part of it regens). On Little B1tch mode? it takes a bit of a beating before it gets that far in. Certain parts were tedious, other parts were just rough, and I HATED any time I had to use a bow and arrow ESPECIALLY ON A BOSS FIGHT. Especially on the 2nd to last boss fight. He was literally my most difficult segment of the game.

On the other hand the game was so f*cking good, that I'm thinking about going another round. I already got myself back up to Chapter 7 of Path of the Warrior, and I'm off all weekend so I might go another go and beat it on the actual game mode.

As for beating it on Mentor or heaven forbid Master Ninja? F*CK THAT NONSENSE. My ego, my anger, my blood pressure, and my woman will not tolerate the crazy person this game creates. To anyone who can beat these games on the higher difficulties? F*cking respect, especially NG2. I mean NGB was pretty f*cking hard, and that game was fair. NG2 seems d1ck most of the time.

Itagaki be a f*cking troll. A COOKIE FACED TROLL....yeah the exploding Armadillo still bothers me that much even on a second playthrough....ugh the part where you fight two of them sucks so much. It's like the boss fight isn't even those 2 exploding fat f*cks, the boss fight is the camera itself. Like Itagaki is making some rich commentary on the cameras of action games or something. SO UNCALLED FOR :cry:

Either way playing it on wuss mode did at the least make me rethink my stance on the game. It may not live up to Ninja Gaiden Blacks overall balance, pacing, encounter design, or boss fights, but it's pure action bliss man when it's working fine. I mean the first 5-6 chapters, and then like Chapter 11-13: and a good majority of chapter 14 is some of the best action gaming ever f*cking made. I mean holy f*ck was I hyped most of the early stretch of this game.

I think I might take some long extensive breaks from games if I don't want to go further in NG2 on Warrior. I definitely need one. Tax season is officially over, I get some more hours to myself, and I think I might be dialing back my CCfactory schedule as well during the summer.

Either way what the f*ck have you been playing? you liking it yet?

Ninja Gaiden 2

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So when I get done with games I really like(Bioshock Infinite) the follow up game is gonna bore me usually. Now maybe it's because I'm just one of those people that needs extensive breaks from games or because I always picked the wrong ones. I mean I think I followed up Binary Domain(game is so much fun, you should play it) with Dear Esther. Which was hipster bullsh1t that could only entertain you if you are the single most boring person on the planet.

So I went with Ninja Gaiden 2 as my follow up to Bioshock Infinite. Why? Because

A: I never went through the trouble of finishing it(even though NGB would be #3 on my all time greatest games list)
B: Because I know there is no way the combat for that game can bore me.

Seriously very few games get me hyped the way Ninja Gaiden 2 does. I MEAN F*CK WHERE IS YOUR HEAD AT B!!!!!!!!!. WHERE IS YOUR HEAD AT N****. YOU MAD? GET ON MY LEVEL SPIDER NINJA...and then there is the rage inducing nature of the design.

NG2 isn't polished or balanced. Itagaki clearly rushed the game and stopped working on it when Tecmo wouldn't pay him. And do you blame him? no. But it is a little disappointing knowing that this game should have been one of the all time greats, and not just a really good game from 2008.

That's not the point. The point is though even with NG2s obvious misfires the game feels so f*cking good that I just do not care. You see while Infinite puts all of its substance into its narrative, and lets the game design live on pure flash(still a good game, but a great one? No). NG2 wants the substance to be their in game, because Master Ninja Itagaki is just that. A f*cking gangsta, and not a pusscake.

And that's what I love about NG2. Gameplay is brutally satisfying, the challenge when it's fair is a rewarding experience that very few games can live up to. Plus the games me hyped as f*ck.

Seriously killing people in this game turns me on so much. I played 3 beat em ups this year.

Metal Gear Rising Revengeance(Good), DmC(okay), and Anarchy Reigns(okayish) and none of them got me hyped the way NG2 is.

Edit: Oh and why not just play Sigma 2? Because it's Playstation 3? No, because it's the pussified version.

It's not that it fixes the game. It's that it tames NG2 down to make it playable and stable. Does that it make it the more functional game? sure, does it make it the more accessible and less frustrating game? sure. Does it make it the NG2 Itagaki made? No. It makes it a neutered version of it, and I'm not for playing a neutered version of an Itagaki game.

So NG2 it is. Flawed camera, horrid balance, and exploding bullsh1t boss fight from hell warts and all.

Oh and suck a d1ck Aljosa. Ninja Gaiden Black would be the single greatest action game of all time if Resident Evil 4 didn't exist. Get out with your lies that 2 is superior to Black. That is blasphemy territory.

http://www.gamespot.com/features/how-bruce-willis-saved-tomonobu-itagaki-dice-2012-6350185/

^you all should watch that for Itagaki.

Also...I would f*ck the sh1t out of Kelly Clarkson

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEValZuFYRU

Judge away gents.

Most Boring F*cking Album Ever

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What a load of nonsense. Who the f*ck gave this dude a record deal? What purpose does this album even serve society beyond being a coma inducer?

Like I hate on some rappers pretty hard. Like MFDoom is a boring ass pleb, Kanye is an overrated sack of trash who hasn't had an album worth listening to since Late Registration(i take back my random enjoyment of dark twisted fantasy), Cannibus is a lyricist with no charisma, and Lupe Fiasco is like rap for hipster douches.

But this douche nozzle blu could not possibly be more boring. Like he is literally your 10 least favorite rappers combined worth of awfulness. I mean holy f*ck I've never been so bored listening to a dude with such a dull ass flow. This album gets brought up as one of the 10/15 best rap albums of the previous decade? THAT? REALLY? I hope you get herpes for enjoying that nonsense.

I'mma go listen to some Paid in Full

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6aAFkP0BGU

Bioshock Infinite

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Pretty f*cking dope, just finished it. Holy crap did my mind get raped.

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Gonna go for round 2.

Not ready to call it "great" just yet. After all unlike you people when I call something great that game is actually legit great, because I have this crazy thing called actual standard and I'm right all the time as I am your Beacon of Truth. Plus I'm a firm believer in the concept that replayability actually matters. If something is truly great in terms of a videogame, movie, tv show, book, then it should be something you can easily go back to over and over again.

So let it be known that it speaks volumes that I want to actually replay it right away, because most games make me feel like "Yeah I don't wanna do this again, I'm gonna move on with my life". Even games that are "built to be replayable" like Dishonored. To me it was a really good one and done that I might consider going back to later down the road. Infinite? definitely want to see how well it holds up on a second playthrough. If it does? Ken Levine has made his best game since System Shock 2. If not? at the least still better than Bioshock 1.

Either way Bioshock Infinite fixes enough of the gameplay from Bioshock 1 that you all should give it a go. It may not nearly come close to the ambition they showed originally with those older E3 demos, but on a purely gameplay level it's what Bioshock 1 should have been like if the actual action part of the game was good. Plus it looks really f*cking good. Seriously it's worth the price of admission. YOU GET TO SHOOT CROWS AT PEOPLE.



Diablo 3 could not **** more

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So quick time kill I used my reward points with Visa to get Heart of the Swarm, because while not being the biggest RTS fan Starcraft 2 is pretty f*cking dope, and Company of Heroes 2 isn't out yet.

So I was all oh man I should install Starcraft 2. Now because Blizzard hates my beautiful world where all I use is Steam I gotta use their battle.net nonsense, and of course my account is now hacked for the 2nd time. Now the last time I launched a Blizzard game is probably Diablo 3 for a grand total of 2 minutes in like maybe Januaray or like a few months before that.

So explain to me how in a game I've played for maybe 45 minutes tops on my own I've had my account hacked twice? Like it's bad enough that I've paid 60 bucks for that game, and I only played like 45 minutes of it thinking GUFUf*** would play that game with me, and completely disregarded that I think actually playing Diablo is boring as f*ck(seriously click click click how unexciting is your life that nonsense like that is enjoyable?). I mean there is really no actual reason I should have bought this game. It is the epitome of sh1t I would never enjoy. Birds fly, fish swim, and I clearly think loot games are nonsense.

Like I understand that I deserve some punishment for my lack of prudent decision making with my money, but 2 hacks for 45 minutes? Come on now.

Blizzard suck less please. Bungie would not have f*cked this up. Bungie. They are talentless doucheapes with no reedeming quality what so ever, and they don't do this nonsense. Step up Blizzard. Now I gotta watch porn instead.

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Twenty Three and Counting

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ISN'T THIS MUSIC JUST AMAZING?

Makes me wanna get up and dance and stuff, say things like darn tootin..Sadly the one in Bayshore(which is the godly one that I used to go to) has closed down. It's not just that the other store is further away as I've also eaten at that place and it's not as good as the original place was. Which is disappointing that a beautiful BBQ place like that is no more : (

ANyway I think Imma talk Sports, because hey Sports>whatever lame punk ass sh1t you plebs

Also Pusscake is like my new favorite word. It's technically a bobbles creation from the sports forum, and it's perfect. Like really ask yourself what better word to describe someone being a such a massive p*ssy. I mean you could say p*ssy but it lacks that raw fire that comes with saying the following sentence "Blake Griffen is the biggest f*cking pusscake in the NBA, and would be in all of sports if it wasn't for Manny Pacquio" See it just has more fire to it.

Stay Salty Jason Terry

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Now that picture is a symbol of a lot of things. For starters it's further proof that there are no bigger pusscakes in terms of sports fans than those found in the New England area specifically the state of Massachussets. Now as a New Yorker some of you might say I have a bias due to me living in the vastly superior New York, and having to be on one side of on the grandest rivalries in all of sports(Yankees vs Red Sox). But again it's not my fault that the Yankees are the greatest baseball franchise ever, and that you were born in the sh1thole that isn't New York.

Plus the Knicks are wack, so it's not like we aren't human. We're just better than all of you. Especially all of New England. But that's not the point here. The point here is that The Miami Heat are on a 23 game winning streak, and I say they got a pretty good shot at 33 if they get by the Spurs. The east is pretty much locked and loaded for the Heat.

Who is their competition in the east? The Knicks are banged up and sloppy, the Pacers lack the pieces necessary to compete in a 7 game series, the Celtics are older than The Land Before Time, I don't buy the bulls or nets. At this point I say it's gonna be Heat vs SPurs.

I'm not the biggest fan of Duncan Donuts, but hey I don't buy Durant and company winning it. Russel my Westbrooks might be nasty, but eh something about him makes me think they aren't gonna make it rain come playoff time. Also Blake Griffen is the biggest pusscake among all stars in the NBA. Why is it that any time I see this dude play he flops like a b1tch on a routine basis? But then acts like such a badass for some dunk like he didn't just flop like a god damn soccer player.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ak7c1NTUNs

^I would link that, but gamespots lame ass hyperlinks don't work. God this site is run by people worse than Justin at creating websites

Also that shouldn't be a technical foul. He should be allowed to put that punk in his place.

NHL I'm TRYING

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I told myself this is the year I would get into Hockey, and so far kind of still struggling to get into. IM TRYING SNIPES I SWEAR!!

I remember playing roller hockey and enjoying it(I can't ice skate for sh1t), and watching it live with friends is fun. On TV kind of get lost I guess? I don't know maybe I need the Rangers to get good to be invested, but I do know that on pure eye ball I think the Rangers have some lame ass D. They play kind of soft at times. I might be wrong with that assessment, but whatevs.

Playoff Hockey I can get into. Because hey games actually matter come playoff time. Eitherway thank christ lame ass Chicago finally lost. Because eww chicago.

Dear Soccer Players

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As a pure blooded obnoxious American I haven't really gotten into soccer all that much. Largely because Team USA sucks(and I'm a firm believer if you aren't invested in a team or at least a player you aren't getting anything out of the sport) and because MLS is like watching college football, college basketball, etc. It's not that the game can't be exciting, it's that the general play is just so amateur territory vs the real deal(NFL, NBA, and in soccers case FIFA).

What I am not enjoying anytime I watch Soccer is the raw pusscaketry of the players. You see those 2 gifs? I like those 2 gifs because the dude isn't a diving little b1tch. Maybe it's like when you non americans only notice the commercials during Football games that I'm only noticing the excessive diving and not the truly impressive athletes on the field, but f*ck does the diving ruin a lot for me.

Now I'm starting to see this sh1t in the NFL with the faking of injuries, in the NBA you have Blake Griffen being King of all pusscakes with his flopping(nevermind that he's a pretty dirty player to boot), and the "world's most beautiful sport" according to the countless gufuf**s who hopped on the Soccer loving bandwagon is filled with divers to me.

At least in the NFL I understand that they are getting hit, the high injury risks in that sport, and the fact that they don't have guarnteed contracts(Fun fact: The NFL while being the most lucarative sports organization on the planet has the worst contracts for their athletes). But soccer players? You play on such a grand stage and then do this to me. Be more like the guy on the gifs, He's a badass. I like him.

MAYWEATHER vs PACMAN

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Now I probably have a pretty impressive list of modern day athletes who are wildly overrated and given far too much credit, and probably my number 1 pick would be Manny Pacquio. It's not that I don't think he wouldn't have given Mayweather an impressive fight; It's the part where there is no doubt in my mind that on any given day in their lives Mayweather would, should, and will win.

Pac brings a few positives in this fight. He is a south paw thus giving him a matchup edge as Mayweather has historically been his most vulernable to lefties, and he has raw strength over Mayweather. Outside of that he has NOTHING on Mayweather. Mayweather is a more sound boxer when it came to straight up technique, he's far more patient as a boxer, and his defense is legendary at this point. Yeah I get that some people love pointout out that Mayweather has ducked this fight, but so has Pac. I don't wanna take this test, I don't want this, I don't want that, I think I should command this much, blah blah blah blah.

It mystifies me how Pac gets overlooked for his b1tch ass attitude(yes well aware Mayweather is just as responsible), but Mayweather gets hated on if he so much as says something that might be pansy. I mean I get that the world hates obnoxious arrogant people. But it's only cocky if you can't back it up, and ladies and gentlemen Mayweather has done nothing but back it up in the ring. Pac has been put on his ass by guys that got absolutely worked by Mayweather.

Now I know I'm way late on this, and the fight of the century is more like a great fight, but nowhere near the ALi vs Frazier stuff, but can we get this done already. I just want the proper vindication that is Mayweather would whip Pacman's ass when it comes down to it. I don't want another Marquez vs Pac, or bardley. Or Mayweathers yearly tradition of rocking someone in May. Just get me this fight already so we can move on to less impressive boxing matches

Or Andre Ward listens to my man Aljosa, loses 20 pounds, and we get a real badass fight featuring Mayweather and someone else. A little young, a little raw, but a whole lot of fire that pacman just never brings.

Oh My Yankees

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I'm not too happy looking at the Yankees starting lineup. They obviously have some competent hitters(Robby Cano don't you know), but man is it lacking some of the raw power that you get used to from the Yankees(and really any primetime AL team). The pitching rotation looks fantastic, but this Major League Basbeall. They are bound to lose somebody, and if it's a CC then we have some serious issues.

Normally I always say the Yankees are a threat until eliminated, but I'd say this year they aren't much of a threat. Tis gonna be a long year for the Evil Empire. For shame : (

I would comment on the NFL, but as we know I love that sport. So I actually know a lot more when talking NFL, and thus have a lot more to say with my thoughts on free agency. So maybe another blog until then MAD MEN IN A FEW WEEKS \o/

Yay Joan

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Oh and I'm gonna start the new Devil May Cry since I have no real desire to play anything else on my backlog. Cheers fellas.



That F*cking B1tch

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Renegade

I love the Styx Renegade as well, but let it be known and let it be said this is the greatest piece of music called Renegade.

Still busy as f*ck, and it's been a slow couple of weeks yo. THis is like the worst stretch of the sports year. The NFL Free agency/draft hasn't started yet, we're in the boring period of the NBA season, Baseball isn't even at spring training, Hockey is in the same situation as the NBA in that it's mid season lameness stuff. Plus Chicago is killing it. That's right Chicago: aka the lamest city in America.

On the plus side if you are like me and watch Television Justified is killing it in the last few weeks, and you should do yourself a favor and catch up on The Americans.

A: I would f*ck Kerri Russel
B: The last few episodes have been splendid

Oh and totally uncalled for c*nt move against society by my lesser half: So Liz loves pointing out that I'm 2 months away from reaching a pretty nasty milestone in age. Now I was born in 1988. Now you can double check the math all you want, get a calculator, and count on your fingers. But I know that come May 31st of 2013 I'm gonna tell people I'm 23.

So clearly I like deny anything that reminds me of how I old I am. Her go to bullsh1t move was telling me I have crow's feet which is just mean as f*ck, but I've heard that enough to know that I don't have crow's feet. This demon hell spawn b1tch implied some of the meanest sh1t ever the other day. She actually told me I had a gray hair on my head. A GRAY HAIR? ME? So naturally I ran to a f*cking mirror because that's not a plausible scenario.

Queen Stupid B1tch proceed laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh. To all the single people out there don't get into relationships. You get no respect after awhile.


STUFF

MRTREY reviews The Master

Aljosa reviews Mario Bros U

Justin b1tches about Real Racing 3 when he should have known that racing games are boring by default

Phillip reviews Metal Gear Rising Revengeance

Now Obviously if this was about my opinions I'd tell you that Phil is too damn forgiving to Revengeance, but we'll get to that.


PAY TO WIN OR CUT THE BULLSH1T?

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The National Pusscake Society of America or THE NPSA or Gamers to some people have gotten more consistently outspoken against a lot of these F2P win games, and of course I have my own take on some thing. Now I am well aware there are sh1tty models, but I bring this up to be compared to DLC. Too much crying about DLC has usually overlooked good DLC over the years.

So I'm gonna stand up for a F2P games that I think do it in a manner that isn't insulting. SO far it's shown up in F2P MP shooters like Planetside 2 or Tribes Ascend. The skill ceiling in these games and the mechanics reward a players abilities at a FPS more so than what gear he has, and the starting gear is more than competent to make you competitive. Especially considering the team centric nature of those games. But the constant b1tching about "oh well you're at a disadvantage if you don't buy x sh1t".

See if this was a bunch of Unreal or Halo or Counterstrike fans commenting on this type of sh1t I'd agree to an extent. But this comes from Battefield butt f*ckers, Call of Duty twits, and people who love hats and sh1t from Team Fortress 2(which Oh by the way I think is the best mp shooter of the gen BY FAR AND AWAY NO COMPETITION NEED APPLY). Your entire games in their current format is all about what your character is rocking, and less about your actual ability.

Instead of paying money, you pay with your f*cking time to unlock the balancing crippling weapons/perks that will make your competitive with the losers with no life. Tribes cuts that BS and says I can play the game without ever spending a dime, or I can spend like 10 bucks and get a quick fix gun and a perk. Boom. I still spend way less money than I would have on a 60 dollar retail FPS that is only good for its multiplayer in the first place. Without having to suffer through the filler weapons I have no need for.

I mean seriously Halo 4? A carbine? what pusscake uses the carbine in Halo? Get real please.

Oh and because I always am prepared for the rebuttal

You Idiots Who Don't Know Nothing About Nothing: What about the campaign Champ?

Me: What about it? it sucks d1ck, and you probably suck d1ck if you enjoyed it

YIWDKNAN: What about THE GRAPHICS

Me: Oh man thank god we're still judging a games merits on how it looks. THANK F*CKING GOD FOR THAT....go swallow cum.

Too long didn't read: I'd much rather play a F2P game like Tribes Ascend, buy my Spinfuser, and have a blast than ever take my chances with another Battlefield and wait it out till I'm like level 17-20something before I have enough gear to actually be competitive with the losers. That's just my take. I don't like anything that wastes my time.


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I have no f*cking idea what is actually going on in that picture, but I like what it says. The most recent lame counter argument of all time next to "well I like it" or "well if these people say it's awesome, it must be good" is the up and coming "well if you think too much about it"....see I hate this defense.

If I have to shut my brain off, if I have to analyze it for it to be great then it isn't great. If I have to do that for it to be good; it's not good. It's that simple.

Resident Evil 4 I can analyze and over think all I want and it will still be the greatest game ever.

Halo Reach's multiplayer I can over analyze all I want and it will still be a good multiplayer game.

Maybe it's because I'm a sports oriented person in a lot of ways that I judge things the way I do with you know: The Truth, but what's with the pussification for the standards for greatness? If I hold something to a bar it's because I have a very high standard for what I'm gonna call great. It's not like I'm incapable of seeing something for being decent/solid/good. I have no problem enjoying the likes of Fire Emblem, Fez, or the likes of Mass Effect 2.

But if we're discussing the greatness of something, and I don't think it's great I'm gonna justify it, because lord knows I'm right all the time. If you enjoy something I call not great or worse sh1t stains like a BUngie game? more power to you. You enjoy nonsense, I don't. It's that simple.

Now I'm not saying that it isn't possible for someone to over analyze something too far, but as we all know I don't do that. I am after all The Beacon of Truth, not the Beacon of Hyperbole or Overanlyzing. Sadly it's the price one pays for being right all the time. True Story.


ENDING

Um that's it for now, I went back through some of my old blogs and saw that I actually had one with questions at the end like the good ol days, so I'll probably go look those up and do a blog or two on those topics, but for now I'm kind of lazy still. At the least I will use a wench from one of those as well as an internet attention whore Justin found(TheGame21x).

Of course Liquid picks a broad who's like one photoshop pic after another

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But luckily Justin provided us with gifs, and gotta love slutty people

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Oh and because some soul in this world made sure that when he became a stalker he got all the detials. SHe's bi.

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#would

I'm out, but for those of you that live in New York, and going to beerfest tomorrow, I WILL BE THERE AS WELL. Drink up and enjoy the weekend my liver is ready.

Filler and Jailbait...you get it?

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Stairway to Heaven

Your beacon of truth is here, and as usual I aim to please. Because you see I am a man of the people, and I have heard your many many complaints(because f*ck all you people ever do is complain about something).

Champ you've mad me laugh, cry, filled my life with joy, turned me own, made me orgasm, and all that good stuff, but you never put me to sleep. You have never put in your champ trademark to actually bore me to death. I have literally been entertained in every possible way by your ingenious way of doing things, but you have never gone that extra mile to bore me.

THat ends to today, because I have PODCASTS

Podcast #1 where we talk the entire Sony Conference

Trust me you having trouble sleeping? Listen to that asap.

If you make it through that? I have the podcast that came before that I didn't pimp out, because I was lazy about some of our hopes, wishes, and the lameness of Gearbox

Not bored yet?

Fire Emblem Awakening Review of where I give it a 7

Darklink Reviewing Journey

Me being late on my comments about Shadows of the Damned


Now at this point you've already fallen into a deep sleep so I can just end my blog here, but for now I am going to also respond to the biggest complaint by Dystopian

Dystopian: Champ, my Champion of Truth, My beacon of greatness, my lord of excellence. When will you upload broads who are jailbait, and thus more appropriate for my taste. Also can she duckface? please?

I got you Dyst, I got you

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Anyway I know I've actually been stalling like hell in terms of actually writing something consistently fun that isn't just me hating on something, but nothing's really striking my fancy just yet. But when I do I will make up for all this filler. Anyway peace.

And yes I'm fully aware I'm speaking to myself at this point as 100% of you come here to see what broad I put at the end of the blog.

Archer Has No Business Being This Funny

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Big Papa

Hold on gotta get some things out of the way.

An eloquent serenada of fiery ice. I would argue I have bested A Song of Fire and Ice under your terms.

Golden Age of television? Laughable. Television is as **** as films, it's just that normally you'd expect films to be better, so television comes out smelling all rosy.



I couldn't respond to this how I wanted, so I'm gonna fix that nonsense right the f*ck now. For starters Thta just makes those books sound pretentious or full of themselves. A song fire and ice is just straight up gay So I would completely disagree with your assessment there.

The 2nd part? Pure crazy talk. The last 14 years gave us a sh1t load of amazing TV shows, you are on crack. Ridiculous, what would you know, I bet you listen to Lupe Fiasco. That's right Thomas Theodore Towers I'm saying you listen to Lupe Fiasco. You mad? yeah you mad.

Anyway It's f*cking tax season, and somehow I got tomorrow morning off as well because I did mad overtime last week so I'm gonna sleep all f*cking day until I want to go out later tonight. Gonna be so good. So I figured I'd kill some time with another one of these.


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Oh what's that no comments on sony? I"m above that sh1t that's why. Actually I'm not above that sh1t I just podcasted with Justin and them for the site that I will use the Towers method of pimping out via blog posts on lamespot. Part of me hates myself for that sh1t, but hey I'll forgive me.

Anyway this show has no business being as funny as it is. Like I try not to laugh, but I do. I really do. It's pretty f*cking funny. It's like this cartoon thats got that Harvey Birdman, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Sealab brand of humor but with a super spy, and it's funny. I've been marathoning it in between The West Wing and I am totally entertained. You all should watch some Archer, because some of you are way too uptight and boring.

Maybe some of you lame trolls will get some superior trolling techniques


BUNGIE F*CKING SUCKS

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Apparently I am not allowed to share my God's honest thoughts and TRUTHS about what Bungie actually is, because to some people(idiots) I must be, doing, or have one of the following

1- A hater
2- Throwing out hyperboles
3- Have ex-wife syndrome

So I have decided I will be politically correct here, and avoid anything that questions the lack of quality in Bungie games. You see as a man of the people I will not to go on some tangent about Bungie.

I will not discuss that they are a talentless company that made one FLUKY great single player game that was only great in 2001, I will not comment on how the yare some of the sh1ttiest story tellers by a videogame standard. I will not comment on how they have consistently shown their biggest weakness as a dev is that they are incompetent at level design. I will not point out how instead of now calling 343 a poor tribute band, I'd rather them just call them a Bungie clone as the two are at the exact same level. I will not even mention that their multiplayer games were either great more because of awesome game breaking glitches(Halo 2) or because of their community(Reach and Forge maps). I won't even mention the countless games in the action gaming genre that have released VASTLY superior games in the last f*cking decade.

I will avoid even mentioning that I wouldn't even call Bungie overrated, mostly because I feel the term overrated should be reserved for things that are good, but called great instead or amazing when they are merely competent/functional/good. Meaning Bungie is neither of those things, but in fact sh1t.

Instead I Will Link This

What do you think of this thing they call a game? And before you start I have no delusions of not purchasing it. I know my short coming as a person is I keep giving Bungie another chance.


Anyway I'm gonna go to bed now, you all should play some Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance(especially you filthy, bottom feeding, cellar dweller, moronic, stupid, retarded, and up your ass dweebs who like Bungie) because that game is funderful. Buy it, rent it, pirate it, rape it for all I care. But you should find a way to play it as well.

Anyway since you all did a good job ruining Anna Kendrick for kiilts; I have decided for my fellow TDH poster I will also make sure you people ruin his G.O.A.T with Kate Beckinsale gifs.

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I apologize for none of the shamelessness of what I post. I blame it all on booze and all the lameness you all present to society. I'm going to go take a wicked dump now. Peace.

Game of Thrones more like Lame of Thrones

by on

In the Air Tonight

Game of Thrones

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Actually it's good. I got no beef with it. Funny story, true story my future brother in law when I go to New Zealand and bend his sister over: Frozenliquid hates the show. So when I was finally getting around to it again I figured maybe this time I'd pay attention. I've actually seen parts of the show sparingly and just never wanted to watch it, but as many of you know bashing a fanbase tends to entertain me, so Game of Thrones it was.

And then I remember the person hating on Game of Thrones is also the dude who really likes Spiderman 2. There is not a single bigger pusscake than Peter Parker/Spiderman in the history of entertainment and fiction. He is the biggest p*ssy in the history of p*ssy. Such a b1tch ass character that blows my mind how a grown up male can tolerate him. "bu bu i can relate to him" YOU RELATE TO A P*SSCAKE!!! that does not bother you?!?!?!?!?!?! You need a better role model

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I mean I would never argue that Game of Thrones isn't typical geek porn in some aspects. I mean it's a f*cking fantasy universe based on a book called "A song of fire and ice". If I tried to come up with 10 names that were gayer than that I'd probably only come up with zero. It just SCREAMS something I would never want to read.

Bu bu champ you can't judge books by their cover. Lies, I totally can, and I will. I judge broads on how they present themselves to society. If a b1tch is messy I'm not gonna be sweating it. I mean I probably might still want to bend her over, but that's because allegedly according to Queen Stupid B1tch I'm a dog. Which is a ridiculous statement; I'm a f*cing angel.

ANYWAY: Show's good for what it is. If you go into this expecting Breaking Bad/Mad Men or The Wire/Deadwood status stuff than you were setting yourself up to be disappointed. It's like when people go into Lord of the Rings and expect The Godfather. ....the f*ck the plot is about some midget walking to a volcano? and you expect some high cIass drama? It's a spectacle, make peace with that already.

The one way I've been describing this show is how it matches up to say a Spartacus. If Spartacus is like 300 the tv show meets Gladiator, than the Gondor/Human side of Lord of the Rings was done by the people who did Gladiator or Troy. It's not just about the flash and fighting and spectacle. It's built up properly, you get the backstory behind the fight, and you get the backstabbing and screwing each other over one throne. It's some fun ass power struggle stuff to watch, and when they finally say okay lets have them all throw down it's awesome.

Blackwater the peniultimate episode of season 2 is probably some of the most fun TV you'll ever watch.

Plus I absolutely love how the show makes me HATE the Queen Cersei. SHE'S JUST SUCH AN EVIL B1TCH, and she's awesome for it. Her son? kind of a dweeb and insufferable, but that's the point? He's suppose to be this douche, and in the later seasons man he flexes the evil stuff nicely.

Robert is the sh1t because he's like the non pansy in his family(and the non stupid one I might add), Tywin is gangsta, man with no face is a BEAST, and tyrion and his asian looking chick are awesome.

THINGS I DO NOT LIKE ABOUT GAME OF THRONES

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-Sean Bean Dies for like the Billionth time: Can he please just f*cking live through one thing? I swear to you I would hate Lord of the Rings 10 million times less if Borimir never died? Why? because unlike Aragorn he wouldn't have sang some stupid p*ssy ass song at the end of Return of the Massive Pusscake. And none of the other characters can carry some of the natural gravitas Sean Bean brings as a lead on this show.

Also if you seriously went DUDE SPOILER? F*CK YOU. Sean Bean dies in everything, and you feel like I spoiled something. What are you new to the world of entertainment? Birds fly, fish swim, and that mother f*cker is gonna die before it's all said and done.

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-Daenerys Can't Act: Sometimes it's the writing, and other times it's just that b1tch can't act. Don't get me wrong I would still bend her over, but again allegedly I'm a dog. She does this annoying thing that Debra from Dexter does in that anytime she is trying to convey anger, it comes off like she's about to cry. That sh1t is aggrivating.

Certain Plot points: Other aspects of the show aren't gripping me

-Why is Jon Snow such a pusscake? I get that he's a bastard and all that jazz, but why is he such a pansy about it? This isn't Peter Parker tier(but who is? Aquaman is less of a p*ssy than he is).

-Why was the fight between Sean Bean and Jaimie Lannister cut so short? WHAT A BUZZKILL! such an underwhelming ending to a throwdown that took an entire season to happen, and then it ends so abruptly and cheap. I get that Jaimie isn't gonna die, and I get that Sean Bean can't just lose, but at least give me more of a fight than that?

-THose Horse people not bringing the reign to Kingfell: It's now left dragonb1tch to do all the acting on her side of the screen(lame), and it's robbed me of an awesome ass throwdown so far. I want justice.

-Sansa: I want to feel bad for her. I do feel bad for her. The sh1t joffrey does to her is cruel as f*ck, but then this b1tch has a chance to be saved, and SAYS NO.

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So stupid. And finally

-THE GOLDEN AGE OF TELEVISION: if you spend enough time on a computer or reading stuff critics/entertainment "journalists" talk TV you know that they love labeling the current era of tv as the golden age of TV(totally justified if said era is the last 13-14 years). That label is always said kind of like this: In this golden age of television with the likes of Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Game of Thrones.....

Petty I know, but it bothers me a little bit. I mean Game of Thrones is fun tv, it's entertaining, it's good for what it is, but I mean come on? Friday Night Lights was still up when Game of Thrones joined us. Parks and Recreations exists. Community exists. It's not a better show than Justified or Sons of Anarchy or Boardwalk Empire or Curb Your Enthusiasm or the first season of Homeland. Again that's when you get into internet semantics about when something is "overrated" when that overlooks quality. But it bugs me.

The show is in that Battlestar Galactica territory that if you judge it by its plot it has glaring holes and issues left, right, and center that get constantly overlooked by a fanbase that are comprised of well...geeks, nerds, and people who don't go through the trouble of finding betters ways to describe a show without using the term "epic".

Does it make it bad? No it's got enough respect for its audience to not be foolish, the plot doesn't waste my time treading ground for more episodes than it should(The Walking Dead, Dexter, anything on Showtime ever), the spectacle when they want to flaunt it is properly built up, earned, and satisfying to watch, and it's got no real equivalent.

It's one of those shows that totally falls into a genre, but because of its setting/premise/styIe it's unlike any other show on the market and satisfies a certain itch. I mean this isn't like a fantasy videogame when there are hundreds of those awful things.

Anyway that's all I want to talk about. I also started watching Archer and The West Wing, will comment on those some other day. Didn't expect to write this much.


Also I maintain that while I love Alicia Keys and that in my mind there is not a more beautiful woman on the planet than Charlize Theron(seriously from the neck up that woman is Goddess territory: would f*ck her senseless, actually f*ck that all of her, not just from the neck up. I Love all of Charlize Theron)) I really really really like Anna Kendrick.

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bu bu she doesn't have....

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#wouldbendherovereverything

No literally everything

over a table
a car
the kitchen
the dinner table
a tree
a stoop
a porch
A peninsula.

I don't even understand how that would work, it just sounded really cool to say. I'd bend her over a peninsula. Seriously would plow.

That is my contribution to all of you. Later.