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True Justice Has Been Served


That's right mooksi.

Because the world should know about the greatness that is Big Bo

Those are big ass jugs, so I linked it instead of posting the pic.


Right? f*cking women never appreciate the amazing stuff inlife. Bunch of trifling ass hoes. Yeah I'm in a bloging mood lately, sue me. Your Beacon of Truth is here as always to deliver upon you nothing more than the truth.



F*ck Winter it's always about getting that summer time feeling, and why is the summer fantastic? Besides the beautiful weather and shit it's booty short season, dress season, skirt season, and I go party hard season. Tax season is over so I work less at the firm now, work calms down, and post mothers day I don't need to worry about too many major weekends at the Cheesecake factory that much either.

I turn a young 25 in a few weeks, and then it's on to a whole lot of nights out, because f*ck it. And remember it's not that I'm an alcoholic. It's that you're boring and don't go out enough. Get a life please.




I was having a great today. Both jobs went smoothly. Got out of the firm really quick today so I had time to grab some lunch and stuff,and got some pizza. F*cking delicious I might add( New York, our pizzas better than yours, get mad). Got out of my other job fairly quickly today, made it home with hours to spare before the broads shift. Got my dick wet. (Sex for the uneducated). That's a great day by Champ standards. Easy work, my stomach was satisfied, my dick was satisfied. I mean really I should have just went to bed I could only ruin this day not make it better. Nope I started playing more Dark Souls, because f*ck it I just made it to Anor Londo.

MAde it to the stupid archers, and their f*cking bullshit. I was having a great day and you f*cking ruined it. I thought we were friends. Some of you are all hur durr that part isn't hard, or blah blah blah or hur durr it only takes some time. I had 15 humanity earned from helping other douches beat boss fights. You know what happened to my 15 humanity? GONE!!!! That's why day was ruined.

Liz's reaction to my real life problem?

"You are such a child".

Doesn't swallow, votes against potential 3ways, isn't there in my time of need, wants me to wife her? such c*ntery.



Bet you perverts read the title and assumed I meant the mrs. How dare you. I would never speak of her in such a negative manner. Anyway I can't bring myself to actually play Luigi's Mansion 2 right now because lolhandhelds and all that jazz. And Ninja Gaiden 2 mentor I needed a break from so it was Bayonetta time.

When the game came out in 2010 I was all about how good that game was. It was f*cking fun beyond words. How much did I like it? I made sure to share my displeasure with GUFU if they didn't try it: http://www.gamespot.com/unions/GSUFU/forums/27150030/the-if-you-didnt-buy-bayonetta-youre-fing-lame-thread

You can link that yourself because gamespots hyperlink is against working correctly. Anyway 6 playthroughs later it was easily my favorite for Game of the Year in 2010. And in retrospect I'd probably would still want to show it more love than Super Mario Galaxy 2 or Super Meat Boy(both f*cking amazing games from that year). Of course back then I didn't actually finish Ninja Gaiden 2, and I have now. So how does it stack up.

Well Bayonetta was DMC territory since day one so by default I like NG2s combat styIe and feel more. In general NG is more visceral and violent, and just far more satisfying in a brutal way. It's meant to challenge you in a way Bayonetta and DMC never do. Those games have more punching bag like enemies as oppose to NG where everything can literally kill you.

With all that said Bayonetta is the best of the bunch in terms of dial a combo/combo string games for my money. DMC3 has some awesome stuff, but it lacks the raw speed, slick feeling, and all the cancels one gets in Bayonetta. The weapon variety for the most part is solid enough, and putting together some of the crazier strings once you learn how to dodge offset is pure gaming bliss. Bayonetta to me is one of those games that actually delivers on something a lot of game developers try to reach for: easy to pick up and difficult to master. You can beat Bayonetta on normal by being a passive player, but to actually conquer the game. Get the platinum trophies, unlock all its secrets, put up high combo scores, and beat the higher difficulty modes? That's all about learning the ins and outs of the combat system.

And while it doesn't have the more open levels of NG, and does that annoying "we blocked off this section so now you can fight things" thing that DMC and God of War and Metal Gear Rising do the actual level design in the game is pretty f*cking incredible in spots. Where DmC only know how to look visually crazy Bayonetta was able to look crazy, let you interact or play around in it in a more meaningful manner, and all the while provide a sense of scale/intensity that DmC never really could match up with.

And the best highlight of the game? The F*cking boss fights. Man f*ck anyone that likes CHronus from God of War 3. He is a glorified moving level that you do not actually fight, but one you walk on to fight standard dudes, and do a QTE that does damage to Chronus. Bayonetta has large creatures you engage in battle with, climb on, and actually conquer. God of War's x factor for satisfaction in boss fights was brand names: Zeus, Poseidon, Hades. You know names it could use to sell the idea that it was "epic". Bayonetta's x-factor was the actual boss fights themselves. The pattern based ones were aggressive plenty, lengthy, and f*cking large. Also Jubileus? Pretty f*cking awesome, and for good measure you have fights with Jeanne whose fights are more about pure speed and reflexes. Any one of the boss fights in Bayonetta would be worthy of a final boss in a big triple A game this gen, and it had a lot of them as warm up.

Now of course the game isn't without its faults. The camera can lose you at times, the survive a big jump QTEs are universally lame, and I'm not a big fan of those sega homages in the game to space harrier or whatever that motorcycle game is suppose to be. Also I would have liked some more melee centric weapons that could be alternatives to the sword, because a lot of the extra weapons were more specialized than something I could use as a main stay. That's me at least.

Some people also think too little of the story, and to be fair I've beaten the game now 7 times, and I don't really remember what the story was actually about. That said people like Darklink also go "hur durr I can't continue playing it because it's too terrible in story" and to be fair I think all of you that do that miss the f*cking point. The game is intentionally crazy and stupid. It's not faking it, it's pretty self aware, and frankly plenty of its jokes land pretty nicely. It's tongue n cheek the way it should be, and sure every now and then Bayonetta herself enters the realm of shameless. Otherwise though it's not anywhere near lolipop chainsaw territory, it's not horrendousely lame like say a Bungie story, and this would offend me way more if it took itself seriously when it was in fact horse shit: see God of War.

So yeah how does Bayonetta stack up only 3 years after its release, after Ninja Gaiden 2, and to the current day Beacon of Truth?

Silly, Slutty, and Satisfying out of 10

And to end things on a more positive note. Game found this: http://cdn.roflzone.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Posing-Guide.jpg

Which I guess might be important to you types. Liquid is any of that shit even remotely true?



Also that picture was to big, but the huge jugs required me to make a link again.

Anyway other than that it's more Dark Souls this week, and getting through Mothers Day weekend so lets bring back my random ass questions at the end

1: What did you get, or are getting your mother for Mothers Day because you aren't an ungrateful child?
2: Name your poison for the evening:(as in what are you drinking in terms of beer/liquor, or what are you smoking)
3: Any summer plans? going away anywhere? what are you looking forward to in the summer?
4: Do you actually like the movie Adaptation. If not, why?

Mooksi, Why Have You Not Played Binary Domain?

Bad Boys 2 is alright as long as you suspend your disbelief to the absolute highest extent. Seriously. The absolute highest.With that said, I'll play this if you play Max Payne 3. The game is the FEAR of third person shooters in terms of gunplay.

I played Max Payne 3, you have not played Binary Domain. And don't even give me the "but you didn't even enjoy Max Payne 3 all that much'...that's not my fault. You could make better recommendations. At least I'm not willing to lie about Binary Domain. That game is simply fun in spite of never really aiming to be anything more than just good. Just for you not holding up your end of the bargain I'm gonna champ it up mad hard in this blog. Remember you could have avoided all this boredom had you just played Binary Domain

Anyway for those of you still reading I decided to shine the White Hot Light of Truth for those who need it most: Rockstar, Max Payne 3, and Grand Theft Auto 5.

So I wasn't really too excited or even....f*ck that GTA 5 exists while watching that trailer. Like for all of Rockstars positives as writers(and thats being loose with the word positive, Liquid you are on some shit there is more filler in a Rockstar game than Battlestar Galactica and Lord of the Rings combined), their productions, and really their hubworlds. They kind of almost suck as game developers.

I'm not willing to completely say they suck. Because I had fun with GTA 4s free mode, and I have had fun in GTA games/RDR. The problem is usually that entertainment isn't consistent because they are games filled with routine filler missions that only pad the experience out more than actually keep me invested. Mechanically their games are WAY below the more linear games offering.

Say what you want but those old GTA games came out when Max Payne 1 and 2 were big shit so those GTA games had no excuse for the lame gunplay. GTA 4 came out when Gears of War showed everyone how to do a cover scheme. RDR came out after Gears 2 and Uncharted 2. Yet both GTA 4 and RDR are sluggish, and in GTA 4s case completely clunky on a shooter standpoint. So as you can see I'm not a fan of what Rockstar makes. It's slop that is presented nicely majority of the time.


So a few things changed. First rockstar made Max Payne 3. Is Max Payne 3 something I would call good? F*ck No. it's a game that would be better instantly if anyone other than Rockstar made it simply because they constantly get in the games way. The narrative on top of being all layers of f*cking; stupid is intrusive on the actual shooting part. And while the game is devoid of any actual variety- which to be fair the old Max Payne games weren't varied either, they also came out in 2001 and 2003 respectively when shit like that was a little bit more acceptable. It's just that they were much better paced, and narrative wise those games were way more interesting and had some actual charm to them.

Anwyay bashing the game isn't my point. It's actually a pretty decent game overall when Rockstar shuts the f*ck up. The thing the game excells at is the core mechanics. The simple act of shooting things in that game is pure grade A badassery. The Fear comparison works really well, because it's satisfying in the same exact ways as FEAR. I still say mechanically those old Max Payne games hold up pretty nicely because the gunplay in them is pretty dope, but 3 almost makes them feel ancient by comparison.

The slo mo, the way the environment just gets torn apart, the styIe of it all(because laying on your side and clearing a room looks and feels SOBADASS!!), the death animations, the feedback, the audio it's all working beautifully to satisfy the one thing RDR and GTA 4 did not do as well. The action feels great, and frankly gives Vanquish a run for its money in terms of best core mechanics in a third person shooter. Unfortunately like Vanquish everything else around those mechanics is pretty underwhelming most of the time.

Gunplay Is Awesome, Rockstars Bullshit? Not Awesome out of 10


So at the least one part of Rockstar's bullshit is fixed with their work on Max Payne 3. The shooting. Now lets fix the mission designs themselves. GTA 4 had that bank heist and that was well the best moment in the game, and it was the f*cking middle. So I was watching the Giantbomb stuff on GTA 5 and that got me more interested in the game. I don't want to say excited, but definitely interested.

So in my mind there is a lot of pre-planning missions going on where you play the 3 characters individually, and then the big heist mission where you need to use all 3 players, and that concept has me interested. First off they are already dropping the whole "I wanna leave the life, but I don't, and that's Irony because that's what we think Irony is at Rockstar" hoetry for "I wanna be top dog". That kind of villain? way easier to make interesting in a game about shooting people. Just saying.

But the whole mission with 3 different people should make for some interesting gameplay scenarios where you are switching from one gameplay element to another. At the least it means I get more big missions frequently, but with proper build up for the sake of pacing. Plus Rockstar soundtracks? usually f*cking godly.

Don't f*ck this up Rockstar with your Rockstaretry. And for the people that are about to defend Rockstar. Once again you tolerate nonsense, I don't. It's not my fault you choose to be a lesser person.

Bad Boys 2 is vastly superior to anything Rockstar has ever written. You mad?

I don't care for the French





But she can get it. Yeah I saw Skyfall again. Pretty good, Casino Royale is better. Also saw Ironman 3. It sucks beyond Robert Downey Jr still being the coolest actor ever.

Edit: Also holy f*ck at the giant ass pictures.

Anyway Cheers, and enjoy your Sunday. Also buy your mother something nice for Mothers Day you terrible ungrateful overgrown child.

Papo & Yo

So I recently added Confessions of Fire to my library of albums(I still buy CDs for my car, hate on it), and the album is pretty fire right now. Aljosa forever clutch on the recommendations


So I've been going through my hipster indie shit(a term that will become an industry standard, you wait) one game at a time and actually finished up two games. Sound Shapes(which I enjoyed) and Papo & Yo(which I wanted to enjoy). And I feel like talking about the one I wanted to enjoy but didn't enjoy(shut the f*ck up Mooksi). For those new to me lets just say I don't have the best relationship with my dad. So any father/son dynamic/theme has usually resonated with me very well. How well? My single favorite episode of TV ever is an episode from Friday Night Lights called The Son: because that episode hits home pretty hard.

So of course a game that focuses on Vander Caballero(the game director/creator) abusive alcoholic father has my interest. This is the aspect of hipster indie shit that I like that I do not get from triple A retail games. These games can be an actual expression of the people making them since they don't have like 100 people working on it. I get a sense of some of the things the Super Meat Boy guys like while playing SMB. I don't know shit about Jason Jones when playing Halo: Combat Evolved to be quite honest other than that dude really liked Aliens and Starship Troopers.


So the games very simple in its approach as it paints this vivid idea of how a child copes with a father who more a monster than actual parent. It's suppose to give you a sense of wonder and sheer absurdity to go nicely with the fact that this is also how our main character copes with his father. The allegory is pretty heavy handed most of the way through, but I didn't think it was hamfisted. I do believe it tried to handle its theme in ways that would be a bit more real and frankly not all that positive as you would expect from a videogame. How the game actually playes? Well it's hipster indie shit so the go to route is to make it a puzzle game, and that's why the game ultimately fails to be anything effective or memorable.

Are there moments in this game that feel right, and properly convey what Caballero is feeling? sure, but those are very brief instances, and came by the ending of the game. The large portion of the game that you will play is going to be far more stilted and awkward in comparison. The gameplay doesn't make a very good metaphor for anything Caballero is trying to pull off here beyond the very basics of turning shitty dad into an actual monster who when he's drunk beats his kids. It creates these awkward transititions that take you out of the experience, and quite frankly take a lot of the sting away from the heavy theme the game is going for.

It also doesn't help that the actual playing part of the game isn't good at all. While none of it is "broken" beyond a janky camera, the puzzles themselves are simple to a fault. It's not just that they are too easy, that's an easy complaint you can lump on so many puzzle games(see Limbo). It's that they are transparent and easy to boot. You rarely actually need to think about your next move or figure the puzzle out, as much as you can just go through the motions and figure it out on the fly by just handling the basics.

In a sense you go through the motions and the puzzles solve themselves. Of course that raises the question does a game about an abusive father need to be fun? Of course it doesn't need to be "fun" because obviously that would be a major juxtaposition from the theme of the plot. That said if so much of the game is going to be the player solving puzzles -and the entire middle section is you solving puzzles- then they need to satisfy some itch on a gameplay level. Be it fun, challenge, or being a productive metaphore for the narrative. Catherine, Braid, and World of Goo have shown you can make a puzzle game with a narrative that goes hand in hand with the puzzle solving you are doing. Papo & Yo has a severe disconnect between the two. Spec Ops The Line has average gameplay as well(and this game is AVERAGE in the gameplay department at best) but that gameplay works perfectly for the narrative they were going for. That game is able to properly convey its commentary on modern day shooters through its gameplay no matter how off it is. This game flat out doesn't.

Yes when it gets to its ending you'll see some imagery that might be a little rough to take in, and it can make up for a lot of the inconsistencies you tolerate on your way there. But all Papo & Yo does for the medium beyond being an experiment(and one I'm glad someone took) is show us that just like any medium out there: you can have the theme you want, you can have the idea you think is amazing, and you can have the audiences desire to actually enjoy it(and I went in wanting to enjoy this), but if the execution isn't there all you have is an idea.

So yeah I'm glad someone made a game like this, and was willing to tackle a theme that most videogames shy away from. Is it a possibility a theme like this has no business in gaming? Who knows, but I know Papo & Yo wasn't the game that did anything effective with that theme.

And while I rarely recommend a game I think is bad, but I do think if you're one of those people that loves arguing for gaming as art you should probably f*cking play Papo & Yo. Because I find it pretty f*cking lame that last year a game like this was completely never talked about, but Mass Effect 3s ending caused a riot, shit storms, death threats, and a potential law suit. So instead of buying just another Gears of War, or another God of War you should give this a try when it's on a nice steam deal. Otherwise the game is bad. And that's a shame.

Heavy Theme, Bad Game out of 10

But you should totally play some Sound Shapes if you can get that on a nice deal for your PS3 or your Vita if you bought that thing. It's a little too short, but it's fun as hell and the music is catchy. And if you are one of those people who loves user generated stuff and making levels? Definitely get it. Some of the people making levels on that game are f*cking awesome.

I watched Hotel Rwanda and Stuff.

Let it be known, and let it be said. If Big L did not die, and I'm basing this entirely on one album with LifestyIes ov da poor & Dangerous; He would have been one of the top 3 rappers of all time. That's right Tomas Towers and Illmatic. Top 3. I didn't stutter when I said that.

Oh and he would be above Tupac, get salty.

NBA Playoffs


I'm sorry are we really pretending there is another option? I mean I probably much rather see Spurs vs Heat, but considering how patchwork the Spurs are and how fast OKC is, it's gonna be thunder vs Heat.

Someone just give the crown already to King James, because I'm with sir charles on this one. This is gonna be the most boring playoff run in a long ass time.

Hipster Indie Shit


I think my next run of games while I'm on a break from Ninja Gaiden 2(still plugging away at mentor) is gonna be a run of all the indie games I bought on Steam/XBLA/PSN and new stuff I'll be adding like Guacamelee(THEY F*CKING MADE LUCHADOR METROID...that's awesome on pure concept, I hope it's racist). And because I just have a way with words I call all indie games(read ALL indie games, and the vast majority of downloadable games): Hipster Indie Shit.

Mostly just been f*cking around with most of them, and not really commiting to anyone of them so some quick thoughts.

Dust An Elysian Tail: Furry as f*ck, but kind of impressive considering one neogaf poster made the game. Art work is cool beyond it being a furry fest, and the combat is fun enough if entirely shallow. So far really decent, but nothing more.

The Dishwasher: Vampire Smiles: This game is my shit. I love me some hack n slash/beat em ups, and this game is right up my alley with al the over the top violence, visual styIe, and raw nature of the entire playtime. It's visceral and violent in ways most good indie games just aren't. Most of the violent ones(like shank) are usually pretty crap territory.

Sound Shapes: F*cking awesome. Rhythm games aren't my thing, was never really into Guiter Hero or Rock Band(although it would probably crack my top 10 from 2007), and platformers? well they usually are. So we have both, turn the coins/collectibles on a level into music notes that has an effect on the back ground music? And make that sh1t catchy? and make the platforming itself entirely rhythmic with that music? That's some clever shit.

Superbrothers: Apparently I should play this on a tablet, but I don't have a tablet. So mouse and keyboard it is.

Anyway while my naming for this genre/group of games might be considered insulting(way to white knight inanimate objects you f**muffin); but I really enjoy a lot of these downloadable games these days more than the triple A outings. Stuff like Super Meat Boy, Braid, World of Goo, and SpaceChem are probably somwehere in my top 10/top 15 games of this gen. Even if most of the best indie stuff is puzzle games.

The worst stuff? Oh it's Dear Esther. That game is the Mafia 2 of downloadable games. F*ck that nonsense.

Man of Steel


This movie better not suck. For the uneducated I only really like two Superheroes: Batman and Superman, everyone else can usually f*ck off. I kind of like the xmen, I enjoyed Justice League, but if it came down to it I really do only like Batman and Superman.

I think I mentioned how I hate Peter Parker and Spiderman, because he's such a massive little bitch, but he can climb walls so he should stop crying. The go to defense there is always "but I can relate to him"...besides the fact that you relate to a pusscake, to me a Superhero shouldn't be something I want to relate to.

I have no desire to relate to Superman, to me his appeal is entirely on how powerful he is. Maybe I'm still looking at this like a kid, but I want to be in awe of a Superhero, he needs to be something I'm not. I mean that's a pretty daunting task for most superheroes, because I'm royally f*cking awesome and devoid of character defects, but hey if the bar is set higher, you just gotta reach higher now. True Story.

Where was I going with this? Right, this movie better not suck. Superman's movie outings are usually what I would call: horse shit. And that's pretty impressive, because you know how many bad superhero movies there are? Like a billion: Thor, The Hulk Movies, Spiderman 3 and 4, Dark Knight Rises, The Ironman movies(take RDJ out of those movies and what's good about them? Nothing else? exactly why they are shit), f*cking Captain America, Blade?, everything about The Avengers that wasn't the action and Robert Downey Jr.

And somehow Superman had the shittiest movies with stuff like Superman Returns, thanks Clark you douche. Try not to suck this time. Oh and if you're wondering: yeah I full on expect this movie to collapse in itself more because Snyder's slo-mo goes from being really cool at first, to nausiating by the halfway mark. Plus this movie is gonna be long? Ugh


I haven't been watching a lot of movies in awhile, but figured I'd start catching up on stuff on my movie backlog and my netflix Q(it's pretty f*cking big). So I went with Hotel Rwanda, because that's like Liquid's favorite movie from the previous decade. So naturally I had to see how f*cking gay it was, and surprisingly not gay. A little overkill with the whole fire of the human spirit shit at times, but mostly just sad as f*ck at times. I was entertained. Don't really like Don Cheadle, but he was pretty f*cking awesome on this flick. Liz really liked it, so in like a week, I'm gonna commit to the idea that the movie was hot garbage.

Because those are my duties as the Superior half in this relationship. True Story.




^only picked her because of that gif, and she's lesbian?


I Do Not Fear You


Warrior done, onto Mentor


Yep more f*cking Ninja Gaiden 2. Warrior is done, and now I'm moving on to Mentor. Why? Because b1tch ass, sh1tty ass, punk ass, annoying ass, loser ass, hasbro of a friend aljosa challenges my pride to keep going. So I keep going and move on to Mentor. F*CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK. I think I know how this ends and this takes me down the darkest of darkest paths of actually trying to Master Ninja Ninja Gaiden 2 as well.

When I Master Ninja'd Ninja Gaiden Black way back in 2005? I think I definitely went through at least 6 controllers because back then I knew the Xbox could take me fast balling that god damn controller right at it. Nowadays my routine is to get really angry, and eventually walk away since....f*ck paying for all that sh1t again you know? The point is I do not like how this is going, but I will keep going. Because the game has had me turned the f*ck on.

I'm 7 chapters done with Mentor(half way mark) so I might take a break for now, and actually retry Bayonetta. I went through the game like 6 times in 2010 and auto declared it best hack n slash of the gen BY FAR AND AWAY, but now I might want to reconsider. So gonna be replaying some Bayonetta.

Either way I don't see me doing any new stuff for a few weeks, if not a month or 2 until The Last of Us.


Also means that I want to replay some Ninja Gaiden Black this summer my favorite hack n slash ever. Last summer I went through Resident Evil 4 probably my 1 or 1A for favorite game ever next to Metroid Prime. I figured hey now is a good a time as any to see how well NGB still stacks up. What can I say I feel mighty inspired to conquer some of the more badass games of the past decade. Go me.

Will have to fit it into my summer tradition of being drunk for 100% of the summer, rewatching The Wire, and making sure I see The Godfather, The Lion King, and 40 Year Old Virgin at least once(because those are my 3 favorite movies).

Oh yeah next level bro.



So when I'm not getting my ass handed to me in Ninja Gaiden, or dealing with the boredom of work, or tolerating Liz's Lizatery I been watching some Justice League because they put it on Netflix. Now I'm not into comics all that much, but super hero cartoons were the sh1t to me as a kid. And Bruce Timm was like top of the god damn mountain in terms of that stuff.

It's probably why I still universally like all the DC guys more than the Marvel characters(mostly because marvel characters are usually gay like Spiderman). So yeah definitely been enjoying some Nostalgia trip here. Although...why the f*ck is Superman even on a team, because it feels wrong that someone that powerful even needs help...at all.

Batman is f*cking gangsta as well. Would love Rocksteady to take their hand at some of these other DC characters in a videogame.

Bioshock Infinite Final Thoughs


So I guess I was gonna write a review on this, but given how f*cking busy I get, and how much I would rather actually do other stuff I guess been slacking. So here are my final thoughts.

Bioshock Infinite isn't as deep as it could be, or as concise as it needs to be to be truly effective. It doesn't live up to all the ambitions it showed in its many previews before it released. What it does succeed at is showing you that there is still some wonder and excitement to be found in the triple A blockbuster that most big budget titles rarely deliver on. And for that it makes it an experience worth playing, warts and all.

That's really all this is. THe combat is fun for a manshooter. I genuinely enjoy the way it makes me feel powerful, and when the set pieces are at their best it's with those sky hooks and large enemy counts. You'll be moving all over the map, and alternating between your powers or setting up traps in between taking shots. As easy and simplified as it is compared to SS2, as a pure action game it has enough in terms of options among powers to feel really strong. With the right upgrades the game becomes too much of a cake walk though.

Elizabeth is a giant get out of jail free card. She gets you out of losing health, she gets you out of running out of ammo, and she gets you out of running out of magic(salt whatever), on top of that deaths don't matter like the original Bioshock. It's not anywhere near as ambitious as it wanted to be when they showed it at E3 2011, and honestly I got over it.

As much as this is very much a triple A blockbuster action game in the most unflattering of ways it's not as soulless as Call of Duty or Battlefield or Halo 4, it's not gutless the way a Bungie game feels, it's not full of itself with Levine Bullsh1t the way a Rockstar game is filled with Rockstar Bullsh1t, it's not a derpfest the way an Ubisoft game plays out like. It's got more personality on its own, it tries to actually do more in some cases with its narrative, and yeah it falls flat on its face a lot. Like it is pretty much ungraceful bitch trying to balance way too many things.

But that's what I like about the game is that it tries. It tries to be better, it tries to do more interesting things if only on the story side of things, and as a pure manshooter it handles all the basics and makes it fun. For that its a good game for reminding me maybe the triple A shooter isn't an uninspired good looking piece of worthless nonsense  all the time.

It looks like I can save that label for say something like Metro: Last Light


Seriously the original game made its hey on being an accessible alternative to Stalker or Cryostasis, or as I would put it Stalker for little girls. But this new one is entirely hell bent on being a good looking by the book corridor bullsh1t, and is flaunting it like its the next best thing since slice bread. I damn near fall into a f*cking coma just looking at pictures, the gameplay? Damn near flatline from sheer boredom.

Well that's a really it for the day. I'mma take a dump now. Later.