Let me just start this with a big Thank You to Jethrovegas. You'll find out why by the end of the blog. Enjoy :)
I- Celebrating a Milestone and the Number
Never been one to censor my work enough to keep it clean for an acceptable audience, I bring you jg4xchamp's 69th blog. Milestones like 10, 50, 100 are all worth mentioning in their own right. Though for my blog I just couldn't have one that celebrates the #69. First and foremost I will say thank you for everyone that has commented or has given my blogs a read. I've had fun typing them up to kill some time, and I hope some of you enjoyed reading them as a fun time kill. If I honestly bored you I apologize.
So lets get to the number 69. I mean it goes without saying that the modern crowd doesn't really think many clean thoughts when it comes to 69. So how do I talk about it? Easy it's one of the greatest symbols of how a relationship has to work. Yes totally threw all of you off here. Let me explain that real quick. For a male and female to ever honestly work out the course for fairytale like "happily ever after" there needs to be compromises in that relationship. I've been in one for 4 years, and quite a few of you have your own relationship milestones. Let's be frank for a minute. The other party in the relationship can be just as stubborn, arrogant, egotistical, and relentless as you. We should also accept that deep down we also honestly want to satisfy ourselves.
Which is how 69 is such a great symbol of that. What male does not like good head? For the few women that honestly do read this(I appologized in advane remember) don't lie and say you don't want to be taken care of either down there. You think that's never one thats sparked an arguement? I mean most of us are more willing to accept the favor, than return the favor. Although gentlemen remember you treat her like a queen down there, she'll treat you like a GOD when it's your turn. That is what 69 is folks. It's not just some sexual act of pleasure. It's one of the greatest symbols of compromise in a relationship. It's the middle ground for both parties of the relationship to get what they want. How 69 works is how a good relationship will usually work. One filled with compromise, acceptance, and both parties taking care of each other.
See and you guys thought I would be all vulger. There's a fun ending to this blog you should enjoy. Until than let's keep the fun tone going. Also I would like to say just like how 2009 was the Year of Jugs, Knockers, Melons and well you know. I say 2010 be dedicated to the middle ground, the great compromise, the 69.
II - Checkpointreached.com
if a conversation about Metro2033, Plants vs Zombies, Pokemon, the Ipad, RDR, Alan Wake, and Conviction isn't enough. You also get to hear my opinions on something than just flat out writing. Yes folks I am on the most recent episode of CPR. So please give a listen when you have time. Leave some comments, send an email, buy a snickers.
III- When It Was About The Fun
Remember the first time ever you played a videogame. Do you ever remember thinking to yourself about really going into detail about how the graphics are in the game? Did you honestly consider what kind of story that game was trying to tell? Did you honestly worry about stupid things like review scores it got? Or who made it? or any other pointless thing that had nothing to do with How much fun it is?
That is what I'm missing in some of these newer games so to speak. I don't think this is a bad gen. On the contrary I've played a ton of great games this gen. What I am getting annoyed with though is too many of these artwannabee games. Too many games that try too hard to be serious, poetic, powerful, and all this stuff that they never had a chance at delivering on. Too many games that are focused on visuals, beauty, spectacle, flash, streamlining, padding with length, filler game mechanics to show off "depth'.
I miss games that knew they were games. I know everyone is expecting me to bring up Bayonetta here. So I'll switch it up. I need more games like this
Sure Duke Nukem would be a better answer, but Duke Nukem is always brought up. Besides Duke Nukem Forever will come out this holiday season(BELIEVE!). Timesplitters is a series I don't know if we're ever going to see again anytime soon. Which is honestly a shame. Not many games can say they are as fun as the Timesplitters series. Face paced action, a narrative that's more focused on comedy and sillyness than something serious or pretentious. A multiplayer that isn't balanced in any sense of the word, but it has MONKEYS, awesome weapons, MONKEYS, tons of unlockable characters, MONKEYS, fun maps, MONEYS, very fast console shooter gameplay, MONKEYS, a fun map editor, MONKEYS, myriad of game options, oh and did I mention that the game has FREAKIN MONKEYS!!
Above all else the game was FUN! None of that serious crap we keep getting, non of this art wannabee stuff we keep getting. A game that focuses on deliver fun mechanics, and builds a fun game around those mechanics. The developers made a game that sure isn't as sophisticated as a Half Life 2. IT's not as immersive, memorable, or the pinnacle of the genre. You know which game is TEN THOUSAND times more fun though? It's timesplitters by a rediculous margin. Fun is the reason Super Mario Galaxy is so amazing. Fun is the reason I love Halo. Fun is why I can tolerate SplinterCell Conviction being a bastard child to the Splintercell name.
I'm not saying we don't need games like Half Life 2, Shadow of the Colossus, or Braid to push the industry forward. I'm not saying the Metal Gears of the world, the God of Wars of the world, and the Final Fantasies aren't needed. What I'm saying is for some of these other developers. These other games being pumped out. Why not focus more on making the game fun to play? What is the point of a videogame that looks good, has an amazing narrative, memorable characters, a powerful message, and tons of content if it isn't fun to play? If there is one thing every game needs to be able to do is either be fun or at the least satisfy in a way through it's game mechanics or game design.
So I ask some of you developers. Tell some of the "I need a good story" crowd to go shove it. Start making games that are more about being fun. Give me games like Bayonetta where I can pull of rediculous combos left, right and center. Give me a Duke Nukem where I get one badass arsenal of weapons and a ton of enemies to use those weapons on. Give me a Saints Row 2 where I can go around on a rampage and obliterate stuff in sight. Pull a Crysis and give me a myriad of ways to adapt to the game world and then CONQUER IT like a weapon of mass destruction.
Why do I want that? Because it's fun, and I like my fun.
IV- So About That Conviction
Yeah I still think it's bastardized. Let me get this out of the way. The meticulous nature of Splintercell isn't there. Splintercell never delivered on instant gratification. The fun of the game was never something like the hilarity of mowing down your friends as a Monkey. The fun was more about the satisfaction you got in some of the situations provided in the Splintercell games. Where you were always uneasy, on your toes, and always in a tense situation. You were working thoroughly to wipe out all enemies in an area and trying not to be detected. It came with some annoying trial and error(some of which does carry over to conviction by the way), but the satisfaction all came at the end when you did this successfully. It was a rewarding experience more than anything else. Plot, storytelling and all that stuff was whatever. What was so beautiful about this "serious" game is that it was actually delivering on some satisfying serious gameplay.
That isn't there in Conviction. That is the biggest reason it doesn't deliver anything close to the quality of the First 3 splintercell games. With that out of the way let me be honest here. I like games that make me feel like a badass. SplinterCell Conviction makes you feel like a badass on many occaisons. The uneasy feeling and tension is replaced with a more relentless pace. That provides a new kind of intensity that was rarely in the other splintercell games. It's more accessable because of it, but it's also a tun of fun because of it.
The game is smart enough to not let you go balls out as that will eventually get you killed. It's just unlike the other splintercell games. Shooting is an actual option that can be productive. It was the one thing that always bugged me about the old games. So yes the shooting is better. Not great or acceptable just yet. I can't aim down the sights and it's still restricted shooting. He's a badass agent, but he has the worst shot in the world. Seriously? So the action still needs work if it wants to be upto snuff
So you are saying. Hey champ atleast the stealth is gold right? Uh not really. The level designs are so restricted. Games like MGS 4, Batman Arkham Asylum, and Chaos Theory all different ways of doing stealth. Provided me many scenarios where I never felt limited in options. Convictions doesn't do that. Every scenario feels overly restricted with only one way of succeeding. That was fine in the old days. This is 2010. I like being given a chance to be creative in my game world. Also having scripted shootouts or a war shooter level that has no business being in a SC game is nothing short of insulting.
What I'm trying to get across is don't think Conviction is beyond the backlash it's fans are giving it. That said I have to admit when a game is fun, and Conviction is fun. Above all else I like my games to be fun, and Conviction atleast delivers that in many segments. It's a solid experience that never comes close to great, but it gets the job done. Plus the Cooperative stuff is what really makes it fun to just play. IF you go in thinking 24/Jason Bourne just with Sam Fisher you'll atleast have some enjoyment with the game.
V- Up ahead
If you haven't noticed. I've had too many long blogs lately. To the point where I've had to cut out stuff which is annoying. I enjoy posting pictures, asking questions, and having fun with this thing. Just recently I've felt more like running my mouth. It's just the tongue is such a hard worker at all times, what can I say.
So while I'm going to work on getting back into the old groove. I'm going to still do some of the recent stuff as well. One that I want to touch is Crysis and how some find it average. I would like to argue against that theory. I also have more reviews on the way if I ever get the time to write them up. Oh and probably another list. Maybe top 10 favorite cartoons, maybe my favorite 10 junk food items, maybe 10 favorite positions? Nah that's a little over doing it. Anyway let's end this blog right.
first I love me some Brazillian. So this blog's Lady is Brazillian Model Emanuela de Paula. And she is FINE!!!
1- The game that in your mind totally delivers on the word "FUN"
2- Biggest pet peeve when it comes to games?
3- What movies have you been watching recently?
4- A topic you like me to talk about?
5- The Next chick of the blog?
Now Finally a Poem to celebrate 69
Middle Ground by Jethrovegas
My lover is quite beautiful, so hopeful, strong, and free Her legs are long, her hair is lush, her eyes are like the sea Our days are countless bouts of joy To outside eyes insane We do not hide nor posture coy Me make our passions plain Yet through our quiet garden There slinks a single fox For though I give her service At my request she balks There's rumors of a treaty place A common ground so fine It's whispered in the traveler's bars Its name is sixty nine
Goodnight and see ya later :)
My lover is quite beautiful, so hopeful, strong, and free
Her legs are long, her hair is lush, her eyes are like the sea
Our days are countless bouts of joy
To outside eyes insane
We do not hide nor posture coy
Me make our passions plain
Yet through our quiet garden
There slinks a single fox
For though I give her service
At my request she balks
There's rumors of a treaty place
A common ground so fine
It's whispered in the traveler's bars
Its name is sixty nine