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Wizards in the Government

I'm here googling this quote from Harry Potter ("Wizards have a government?") to see which book it came from, and I stumble across this random thread on the Internets from a forum called Flat Earth Society. Below is a couple of posts from the thread, titled "Wizards in the Government". Prepare to be awed.

Wizards in the Government

TFHExpert writes: So I wanted to call to your attention the fact that there are wizards not only being hidden and employed by the United States government but are responsible for some of the largest catastrophes in the world. I recently learned of this from a study done by a professor at UC Berkley. They did a study on weather patterns for before hurricane katrina. The weather patterns did indeed match with pre-hurricane weather but in further investigation from a weather balloon that there were unique energy signatures. Upon more in-depth investigation of these energy signatures were that same energy signatures found on 9/11 at the WTC, the earthquake in Japan and Hatii. These signatures carried the same charge and unique movement of atoms with constantly forming and dissolving ions bonds. To our knowledge there is now ay to mass produce this energy without a controlled setting. The only explanation we have is that it originated from a source that is secret to the public. While the government denies any knowledge of this but aside from a piece of machinery that would use all the power in the world, the only explanation comes from the supernatural. There have been wizards through history from Merlin to Rasputin all the way up to Criss Angel. If this idea is too proposterous for you, the brain control waves from washington have already gotten to you and you MUST wear a tin foil hat at all times to break their hold. Chris Spaghetti writes: ----See left (Beneath his profile picture is the quote: "Sure, blame the wizards!") TFHExpert writes: One of the many attempts of society to get the truth out Raist writes: I am sick of this racism towards wizards. Blaming all of the world's problems on them is sick and just another excuse to continue their persecution. Your post reminds me of nazi propaganda towards the jews before WWII. What kind of energy signatures are you talking about? Why would a weather balloon be keyed in to wizard energy signatures. What professor at burkley? Your racism sir is sick and I'd ask that you take it elsewhere. We support the wizards in their struggle against your kind and we will fight to the death for their right to live in our society. Freedom hater. TFHExpert writes: You are obviously under their mind control. The weather balloon was not keyed in but monitoring intrusments were. Wizards have the potential for good but at the moment they are on the wrong team. They need to know how much they are hurting our world by hiding their wrong doing in things like Cthulu and Obamacare Raist writes: Take your wizard hating propaganda out of here. Racism isn't allowed. We don't approve of genocide, where do you think this is darfur? Lorddave writes: Magical Energy signatures... HA! You're just a fool who believes in magic. I, however, know the truth. Mad Science. "Any sufficiently advanced science is indistinguishable from magic." - Arthur Clark Thus, if you think it's magic then it's just science you don't understand and the only science capable of such a thing is the work done by mad geniuses. Please see www.narbonic.com for factual stories related to Mad Geniuses. Ryan Onessence writes: Now lets look at some coincidental title's and phrases 1. Magistrate ? Now I'm not inferring that all figures whom go by the title Magistrate are wizards. However I would like you to consider the notion of the OPer in regards to the words origin. Magistrate; Magi; Mage; Magician; Magic; and just for the sake of it, Magnetism Strate; Strategy. you might consider that wizards may have been employed as Magistrates because they have the wizards strategy behind them in unveiling truth and or concealing 2. Weather "Forecast" Fore; in precident of something Now would it be unreasonable to point out that we never see a truly live realtime rendition of weather patterns, its always some half baked slide show of pre recorded (possibly shopped) frames. Given the idea that thought & emotion = manifestation power, then these wizards are using the public through Televison and radio to custom divert disasters. The wizards have no real power of their own, they need the public to willingly and unwittingly focus their attention toward the desired outcome of the elite, so hypnosis it is, or errr rather was... for Now the elite have gotten more on their plate than they can handle with regards to weather control. i.e. they have never been able to truly of their own accord create a catastrophic weather based event, but only direct the energy away from themselves through the manipulation of the masses attention. Tausami writes: Posting in this quality thread. Mrs. Peach writes: Magistrate has a different linguistic history, the Indo-European root meg giving us Greek megas, Latin magnus, maximus, Sanskrit maha-, while magi or magic comes to us from the Zoroastrian priests known as magus. This is not to say that the proto language words were not convergent, but the added magical meaning can be traced historically and is quite separate. Maybe we share a common love of words? Ryan Onessence writes: Thanks for the pointer; I have heard of "Magus" but was unaware it was Zoroastrian in origination although it makes perfect sense considering they are the oldest known origination of the Kabala if by common love you mean tracing original meanings then yes...but generally I do my best in eliminating internal dialogue when alone (its an active approach to meditation), unless of coarse when I am writing. For those interested in meditation or relaxation of the mind as I see it, One technique that I have found to help silence the mind is to imagine ones voice and mouth moving when engaged with internal dialogue. That way by imagining the voice to be emanating form the vocal cords rather than the head it frees up "headspace" to be either clearer and relaxed or creative. It creates a sort of virtual replication effect where when you stop imagining that your voice is coming from the vocal cords your mind actually stops thinking in words cos your already using your mind to produce the illusion of speaking which then stops...almost like the mind goes to recede back into the usual dialogue loop but realises there is nothing to recede back into as it already is in the state...when you succeed at mastering this effect you will probably notice a very pronounced third eye/thalamus sensation that has an extended invigorating saturating effect out into the eyes as tho a load of usually squandered energy is released and relaxed/expanded over the whole brain and eyes/optic nerves. Mrs. Peach writes: I'll have to read that over again when my mind's more awake. Sounds interesting. :) rooster writes: Tausami writes: Posting in this quality thread. (See the thread here.) --- Me to all my friends today: Another boring doomsday... Next up is 11 11 11, lets see what happens... Or not. Mike: Doomsday... was that today? Oh I'll have to miss it, I have a lot of work to do. Me: Plenty of opportunities coming up Mike: So it happens multiple times? Me: they're still figuring it out

Who could possibly--Firefox?--well okay then.

My computer, this beast Y560 which I bought a year ago for a thousand dollahs cheap, has a problem with overheating. I dunno how this processing thing works, but this is the first comp I've ever used with anything higher than dual-core, not to mention it has 7. (Pun intended.) Unsurprisingly, when this thing is processing, it's processing, and burning up a storm in the process. Try touching it on power mode while watching some documentaries on Youtube. Smooth, scorching flesh. Thing is, this computer seems to have a shotty cooling system, because on more than a dozen occasions, it has shut down from overheating. The initial culprit was Maya, which anyone who's used it before should know does NOT adhere to the laws of minimal processing. I could use Maya by itself for as long as was necessary, but if I tried to open a Youtube video right after? BSOD. When Ubuntu hijacked my comp later on, the culprit switched to BOINC, an application which uses your spare processing power to cure malaria, build AI, and compute quantum equations, or something. When in power mode (adapter plugged in), BOINC would run indefinitely until my comp overheated and crashed. Normally it would be kind enough to wait until the comp was in screensaver mode, but because the battery sucks on this thing I always keep it plugged in, so that's really my bad. But then, having cured malaria and computed several quantum equations, I detached from all BOINC projects, leaving the program terminally idle, and hence leaving my comp with nothing to overheat over. It still kept crashing. Reading articles, watching Youtube vids, WRITING BLOGS--these seemed to be monumental tasks for the poor i7/8GB/Radeon56xx+1GB-equipped monster toy. Today it crashed after one hour of use, 30min unplugged, and I lost an entire notebook of Tomboy Notes on Metal Shadow. Claws came out. Luckily the solution presented itself to me when, instead of opening Chromium for the umpteenth time to restore all my tabs for TVTropes.org, I just went over to Firefox and finished watching Century of the Self on Youtube while downing some Chinese. (Sensual therapy, you understand.) Anyone who's seen that movie knows that it's the longest movie in freaking existence, because it's four hour-long episodes crammed into one. I was on the last episode and a half; sat through the whole thing on Youtube, double-checking the comp to see if it was hot now and again. It wasn't even warm. Science concludes that Chromium can run up an i7 processor singlehandedly. Who could possibly--Firefox?--well okay then. --- Does anyone read that feed to the right, listing all your friends' recent activity? Is becoming an eyesore.

Rich People Counter-Protesting #occupywallst

Source: http://gawker.com/5843209/snobby-illiteraterati-to-protest-wall-st-hippies-with-champagne-toast Snobby Illiterati to Protest Wall St. 'Hippies' With Champagne Toast As the first week of the#occupywallstreetprotest against corporate stuffdraws to a close, some cIassy capitalists have decided to dust off their favorite Nixon-era jargon and hold a champagne-soaked counter-protest of their own. Free laxative-enriched muffins for all "hippies," LOL. A "pro-business Democrat" tipster sent us some screenshots of the Facebook event page for today's corporate counter-protest, titled "Anti Hippy Protester Champagne Toast on Wall Street." It starts at 4 PM-a full hour before the work day officially ends! Don't these hard-working realists have jobs or something? Well, maybe yes, maybe no-but the hippies most definitely aren't employed, and by choice! So let's focus on how lazytheyare. Under the "More Info" heading is more info, written in some sort of odd rich-people English: "Let's toast to all the jobless hippies protesting on wall street and the enitre financial distric about god knows what. They have shown vallient effort and even though we hate them lets give them a free shower! (they havent showered in weeks) So... Tomorrow at 4pm we will be having a byob champagne toast/shower to welcome all the protesters and bathe them in good riddence." Good Riddence, in case you're wondering, is a brand of high-end champagne. That said, wouldn't a true aristocrat supply all the party refreshments for their guests? Perhaps the organizer is just another wealthy-person wannabe with poor etiquette, or simply doesn't want to seem too socialist. Then again, heisbaking for the special occasion! In a comment to his own events page, he writes: These guys are so pathetic and it was awesome watching them get dragged around and whooped by cops. Hey dumb non tax paying hippies.. You are costing people who actually have jobs more money by making 400 extra police occupy lower manhattan for two weeks ... Can't wait to see you Guys tomorrow - I'll be the guy handing out hippie muffins for free with laxatives baked in so after you isht yourselves uncontrollably we will spray you with champagne like we won a championship game. Only if you haven't been arrested for being a duche before that" Pretty sure the protesters did not ask for all those cops to hang out with them, guy! Also pretty sure that treating the abuse of other humans is way more pathetic thaneating pizza,wearing masksand protesting corporate hegemony. But maybe I've been liberal-blogging from my mom's basement for too long. And as for those muffins: Not gonna touch that one. [Thanks to our pro-business tipster!] --- Naw, gimme a muff, du... Honestly didn't know the meme culture was a top-down phenomenon.

Anonymous and Syrian Electronic Army in a 'flame war'

In retaliation forAnonymous' hack of the Syrian defense ministry webpage, a Syrian hacking force alleged to be called the "Syrian Electronic Army" struck back at Anonymous. How, you ask? They defaced Anonymous' pet project, the social network Anon Plus, by replacing the homepage with the message above, including gruesome pictures of burned and mutilated bodies. Anonymous' original hack was said to be in support of protesters in Syria and left a message encouraging the Syrian military to revolt against PresidentBashar al-Assad instead of supporting his suppression of the protests. The counter-hack attributed the current Syrian violence, depicted in the gruesome photos, to Syrian demonstrators instead.

The origin of the hackers was not mentioned on the defaced website. The attribution of this hack to the Syrian Electronic Army comes froma tweetby Citizen Lab, and the SEA are a recognized, public hacking organization, strikingly similar to Anonymous in their press and methods. They even have a bit of that Anonymous flavor to their message, stating that:

In response to your hacking to the website of the Syrian Ministry of Defence, the Syrian people have decided to purify the internet of [y]our pathetic website

This isn't the first time there has been hacker in-fighting. Anonymous affiliate LulzSec attracted the ire of many smaller groups determined to uncover and leak information about members. The difference there is that they were generally smaller(generally in regard to members, definitely in regard to media presence) and they were usually operating behind the scenes to leak information. This is the first time we've really seen any potential for two relatively high-profile groups to start slinging mud at each other in public space. To boot, it shows that, for all their aggression, Anonymous hasn't been playing defense very well.

Both of these groups clearly have large egos about them, neither are above cyber vandalism and their ideals are pretty fundamentally contradictory. It seems that we could have an interesting conflict on our hands. Whether Anonymous and the SEA will do anything but simply annoy each other and call each other names remains to be seen, but this emergence of an apparently apt hacking group thatis not based around the lulz and does not seem to share the otherwise comemon ideal of "complete and utter freedom of information for everyone" could totally change the hacking landscape.

Source: http://www.geekosystem.com/syria-hacks-anon/

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Much respect to Anon, but seriously, you guys got counter-hacked? I thought we were liberating the human race here, not playing rock-paper-scissors. Effing lol, man. I'm sorry but effing lol. Get your snot together.

And yeah, whatever did happen to LulzSec working behind the scenes? Where's the integrity in this revolution thing?

Vatican Reverses Stance On Same-Sex Marriage

VATICAN CITY—In a stunning and unexpected reversal of long-standing doctrine, Pope Benedict XVI proclaimed the Roman Catholic Church's unequivocal support for gay marriage Tuesday, just hours after meeting Stonington, CT couple Tony Ruggiero and Craig Housinger.


Tony and Craig, whom Vatican officials called "a truly great match."

The papal decree—which authorizes priests to administer the sacrament of holy matrimony to same-sex partners and explicitly states that "homosexual relations between two consenting adults is not, and never has been, a sin"—was reportedly a direct result of the pope sharing an afternoon of engaging conversation and hearty laughter with the gay couple.

"Not only are Tony and Craig complete sweethearts, but anyone who spends more than two minutes with them can see they're clearly perfect for each other," said Benedict, who in the past has described homosexual behavior as a grave disease that threatens all of humanity. "They're fun, gracious, and simply wonderful company. And you can tell they have something special just by the way they look at each other."

"They're soulmates, really," added the pope, smiling. "Allowing them to formalize their union in the Church is the least we could do for them."

Full article.

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I've never read the Onion before, but that right there, that is just wrong. Benedict does NOT talk like that. Where's journalist integrity these days?

Someone said "progressive religion" is an oxymoron, which I found funnier than this whole article.

Interview with an Alien

Here's a script I found floating around the Internet, written by someone in the Zeitgeist Movement:http://losthobbit.net/temp/InterviewWithAnAlien.html

Interview with an Alien

Introductions:

Hi, I'm Zorg from planet Triton. We've been travelling for the last hundred years to find other intelligent life forms, and we're very excited to have spotted your little blue planet. We're doing a documentary on your species to see what we can learn from each other. Would you care to answer some of our questions?

Questions:

Zorg: How advanced would you say you are? Have you reached the technological singularity yet?

Human: What's the technological singularity?

Zorg: That's when you've built a machine that can design and build a better machine than itself, causing an automatic infinite exponential advancement in technology?

Human: No, we're not quite there yet. We have machines that build machines, but I think they still mostly have a little bit of human assistance, and they cannot improve on their own design yet.

Zorg: Okay, so I guess you only have to work a couple of hours a day. A good time to be alive, right?

Human: Most people work about eight hours a day.

Zorg: Eight hours? I thought you said you have machines. That's weird. At least no-one does any more manual labour, right?

Human: Well, in poorer countries they still do a lot of manual labour, because they can't afford the machines.

Zorg: What's a country?

Human: Umm... you don't know what a country is? It's a large piece of land that's separated from other large pieces of land.

Zorg: Separated by the sea?

Human: Sometimes it's the sea, or a river, but mostly they're just boundaries that have come about through war, that people are not allowed to cross over.

Zorg: And what purpose do these country boundaries serve humanity?

Human: They don't really serve humanity; they just keep poor people out of rich countries, so that the rich countries can remain wealthy.

Zorg: That's quite selfish, isn't it?

Human: I suppose so.

Zorg: So, why are there poor and rich countries? Do the poor countries not have enough resources?

Human: Yes, that's correct. Some countries do not have as much as others, but that doesn't necessarily determine whether the country is poor or not.

Zorg: I don't get it. How can a country have more resources than another country and be poorer?

Human: A country can have less money.

Zorg: Oh right, you still use money? That would explain why you have to work eight hours a day instead of two. You need to work to keep your money system afloat. Our planet hasn't used money in a thousand years. You're far less advanced than we thought.

Human: So what do you use instead of money?

Zorg: We don't have the concept of ownership, so there's no need for any kind of money. Anyway, getting back to the country thing, assuming you were to get rid of all these country boundaries, and share everything, would the world have enough resources?

Human: I don't know. I'll check the internet?

Zorg: You have internet already? That's odd. So you have internet on mobile phones, but you still don't have enough labour replacing machines in every country. That seems a bit backward.

Human: Okay, got it. There is enough farm land to produce food for everyone, but we would need to eat less meat than the average American.

Zorg: Well this really is a strange system, separating your poor from your rich. Lets move on to something else. You mentioned that you have machines. What are you using to power them?

Human: Mostly oil, coal and nuclear power. We burn gas for heating.

Zorg: Nuclear? **** These backward humans have nuclear power! That's crazy! Do they know how dangerous that is? And burning coal and oil... do humans know that can cause global warming, which can damage the entire planet.

Human: We're well aware of that.

Zorg: So why don't you use solar, wind, wave and geothermal energy instead?

Human: Because the oil companies are earning lots of money.

Zorg: You're willing to destroy your planet so that oil companies can make money? What happens when you run out of oil?

Human: We'll use bio-fuel.

Zorg: So, instead of growing food to feed starving people, you'll grow plants to run your machines? This planet is more messed up than I ever imagined, and it's so pretty. I'm going. There's no intelligent life down here.

Human: Wait, can't you help us?

Zorg: The answers are right in front of you. You don't need our help. Eliminate your country boundaries, share your resources, stop burning oil and coal, stop using nuclear energy and make sure you use your resources in a sustainable way. We'll be watching you. When you've done all that, then we'll talk about sharing technology, but right now, I just want to go back home.

The Ultimate Yu-Gi-Oh! Deck

I'm nostalgic today. I was thinking about Yu-Gi-Oh! World Championship 2008 (the greatest effin' YGO game ever), and about some of those great battles I had against the AI. Since I have myself a DS now I was thinking about getting the new World Championship, but then I remembered why I stopped playing. After many grueling ours on WC 2008, I'd created what many might consider the cheapest deck in exisence, hence, the Ultimate YGO deck. No reason to play through all that just to build said deck all over again.

On that note, I'd like to pass down my teachings to all those YGO fans out there.

So what exactly is the ultimate deck? It's not a deck that contains Egyptian God cards. It's not a deck with some outlandish strategy or clever combination of magic cards. These decks all have one thing in common, which is that they are not versatile. You can beat this person and that person, sure, but then someone comes along with a strategy specifically superior to yours, and there goes your winning streak. The Ultimate deck has to be serviceable on all fronts, for use against Egyptian Gods and Black Magicians alike.

So obviously, the first principle of the ultimate deck is versatility. Do not stick to one type of card. Mix and match your normal monsters with effect monsters with four star monsters with eight star monsters. Field cards, equip cards, and trap cards alike must have interchangeable uses, so at any given time you will always have the advantage. Versatility! Remember this!

You may find yourself in something of a fix trying to figure out which cards are most versatile. The fact is, most cards can be versatile in combination with other cards. I'm not in the mood for giving examples, but let's just say that I once beat a Blue-Eyes White Dragon with a Morphing Jar and one magic card (forget the name, but it did something like: reduce opponent's ATK and increase your own by that amount). This here is the key to versatility: Combinations. When looking at a versatile card, always consider how it can help your other versatile cards. This builds up the versatility to the max.

At this point you're really hyperventilating. There are dozens upon dozens of these types of cards, but where are all the versatile cards specifically designed to work with other versatile cards? In other words, how do you pull off these combinations versatilely!? Does that make sense!?

This brings me to the heart of the matter. The skin of the teeth. The cheap of the ware. The placeholder cards.

A placeholder card is any card that exists entirely to help you get another card. Pot of Greed is one of the greatest placeholders for good reason. When you draw Pot of Greed, you've just drawn two cards. That's placeholding.

Placeholder cards come in a wide variety, from cards that let you revive monsters to cards that let you take control of cards in the opponent's hand. The thing they all have in common is that their sole purpose is to be replaced by a card you actually need. So, when your opponent forces you to discard your hand and builds his own hand up to seven cards, you draw Morphing Jar on your next turn and get even.

Here, there really is no question what are the best placeholders. Monster Reborn, Pot of Greed, Morphing Jar, Cyber Jar, Change of Heart, Call of the Grave, Giant Rat, Ultimate Offering, etc. This also applies to cards that exist strictly to REMOVE the opponent's cards, like Mirror Force and Raigeki.

There's nothing else left to be said. A deck with 1/4 placeholders and 3/4 versatile cards has a 93.3% chance of countering ANY strategyithink--which in the YGO world means sure victory. Expirement with your favorite placeholders and combinations until you find your ultimate deck!

Cancer is cured, money is not.

Check it: http://vimeo.com/24821365

If you don't feel like watching the whole thing, basically: Cancer got cured, which means millions of people's jobs are now on the line. The FDA (government) is harassing the doctor who invented the cure so as not to lose their precious cancer research industry. My two cents: cancer patients are going to be all over this **** tomorrow morning.

It's a true story.

This Just In: Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Dead, Vader Says


Lord Vader announced the killing of Obi-Wan Kenobi at the Imperial Palace on Coruscant.

CORUSCANT —Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mastermind of some of the most devastating attacks on the Galactic Empire and the most hunted man in the galaxy, was killed in a firefight with Imperial forces near Alderaan,Darth Vaderannounced on Sunday.

In a late-night appearance in the East Room of the Imperial Palace, Lord Vader declared that "justice has been done" as he disclosed that agents of the Imperial Army and stormtroopers of the 501st Legion had finally cornered Kenobi, one of the leaders of the Jedi rebellion, who had eluded the Empire for nearly two decades. Imperial officials said Kenobi resisted and was cut down by Lord Vader's own lightsaber. He was later dumped out of an airlock.

The news touched off an extraordinary outpouring of emotion as crowds gathered in the Senate District and outside the Imperial Palace, waving imperial flags, cheering, shouting, laughing and chanting, "Hail to the Emperor! Hail Lord Vader!" In the alien protection zone, crowds sang "The Ten Thousand Year Empire." Throughout the Sah'c district, airspeeder drivers honked horns deep into the night.

"For over two decades, Kenobi has been the Jedi rebellion's leader and symbol," the Lord of the Sith said in a statement broadcast across the galaxy via HoloNet. "The death of Kenobi marks the most significant achievement to date in our empire's effort to defeat the rebel alliance. But his death does not mark the end of our effort. There's no doubt that the rebellion will continue to pursue attacks against us. We must and we will remain vigilant at home and abroad."

Obi-Wan Kenobi 's demise is a defining moment in the stormtrooper-led fight against terrorism, a symbolic stroke affirming the relentlessness of the pursuit of those who turned against the Empire at the end of the Clone Wars. What remains to be seen, however, is whether it galvanizes Kenobi's followers by turning him into a martyr or serves as a turning of the page in the war against the Rebel Alliance and gives further impetus to Emperor Palpatine to step up Stormtrooper recruitment.

Full Article

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This news is so shocking. I feel such a sense of closure.

Ubuntu 11.04. And kittens.

Chill, man. It's cool. I'm not luring you in her to insult you. I said kittens precisely so you wouldn't think I was making an insult. You can't be mad at me once I said kittens. If I left out the word kittens, it would've just been an insult. A very volatile one, like the 'n' word, except it insults everything and everyone everywhere doing anything at any time, all the time, for all-time, forever, always. Think about it. Would I really insult you for no reason by calling you a **** 11.04? Kitten? All right, then. Calm down, read slowly.

I'd had the misfortune of being suckered into another Ubuntu download earlier this year when my precious Windows 7 took on some viruses. I had AVG, but, well. McAffee Anti-Virus had expired, you understand. I'd busted out my old 8.whatever CD but it in the process I think I busted something, so I had to make a new CD and I thought, "Hey, the **** 10.watever, it's up, and it still ain't named after a hat." Hat 14 had just--wait, I mean... Fedora, sorry. Fedora 14 had just been released, but I have no interest in sub-par quality software. I mean come on, I'd gotten Windows 7, 64-****-bit. On viruses and drugs, it's still better than Hat 15. I think. I'm confident about that.

ANYWAY, to make a long story short, I was sitting here the other night (24 hours ago) and this message pops up saying "Hey, this linux thing wants to bother you for a moment, can you look at this window for a number of seconds?" I minimized it, planning to get back to it once I'd finished putting together this song in LMMS, and I ended up forgetting about it until the other night (20 hours ago), when I was shutting the comp down. I stared and stared, then decided to look down, and found this upgrade button. You know, the same button you might find in Windows? Windows XP to be precise. You know where this is getting at but you're clinging to hope, I feel you bro, but I'm gonna spell out the harsh truth for you.

THIS UPGRADE FULLED THE SUCK METER>

It was this morning (8 hours ago? Wait what time is it.) that I jumped on the comp and found **** 11.04, kitten reference, in place of a proper operating system. At the time I didn't know what was so different about it, but like the good Windows XP--I MEEEAN... Jeez, I've been doing that alot lately. Calling myself a Windows fan, I mean. As I was saying, after about an hour on this bich, I realized that kittens **** 11.04 is very nearly the most broken version of Ubuntu I've ever tried. That's a comparison to Ubuntu 7.something LT for you to stick on the fridge.

They have this side panel that's supposed to mimic the Mac/Windows 7 toolbar. It sucks. The panel takes a million years to come up, but once your mouse is a-hovering, forget all typing or mouse controls for that duration. They've upgraded to Firefox 4. It sucks. I've been using Chromium ever since GDocs started going haywire in Firefox 3.6, and that just raised my standard for open-source software qualty, right there. They've moved and organized my "apps", as if my "apps" weren't in fine and dandy places before. That sucks. Both ways. Full pun intended. It starts up slower. It uses less battery life. It runs slower. My ATI 5760 dedicated graphics card with 1GB memory runs Battle for Wesnoth at 12-18 frames per second. OpenOffice is now LibreOffice, and it still sucks. What else...?LMMS now has to be opened at the terminal, and if I close the terminal, the program disappears; if I double click an lmms file, the program "can't be found"; and when I search all my apps, it's not there. Did I mention it runs slower? I've got 8 **** gigs of ram and it takes FULL SECONDS for ANY program to start up. WTF DID I SPEND ALL MY MONEY ON.

So **** **** 11.04. **** it. And don't get angry, that was the equivalent of a compliment right there. I just called you the King Liberator of Liberated Britain, and I meant it. Hard. I threw in another compliment too, somewhere in that last paragraph. I don't feel like reading right now. This is so so frustrating.

I'm still using Kitubuntu 11.*4tens though. McAffee. you understand. Maybe my tablet might work now? Maybe? You think? No? No? No, I don't think so, either. I'm not holding my breath.

PS. I was looking for funny kitten/computer related pictures, but when I googled "kitten computer", I just couldn't decide what to choose. It's a gold mine.