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What to do at the store PART 3/3

Here is the final installment in my 3 part series

GO into a fitting room, shut the door, wait awhile, then yell very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

And my personal favorites...

Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk where the antidepressants are.

Sorry to all store owners, so please, DON"T BLAME ME! INSANITY IS HEREDITARY!!! (maybe)

What to do at the store PART 2

here is the latest and greatest in insanity!

When a clerk asks if they could help you, begin crying and scream,'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

When an announcement cames over the loud speaker, assume a fetal positionand scream 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

Try these for a free trip to a padded cell.

What to do at the store PART 1

Here's what you do...

Take boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they

aren't looking.Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals

Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

Yeah if you really want to I wont stop you. But the security guards will...

If you want the funniest ones, they are titled "the world is full of weevil

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

For a while, Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act, but he was just going through a stage.

If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.

The circus had to renew their insurance policy. They were in a hurry, so the insurance company issued a three ring binder.

The workers at that inn are very unfriendly. They create a hostel environment.

The study of ancient symbols will lead you to rune.

Inflammatory talk is often seen as propane language.

Teaching history is old news.

The bowling alley employees went on strike when their boss said he couldn't spare them a raise in pay.

In the race for the best grass he smoked the competition.

Why am I still writing these?

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.


What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

It's a punderful wooooorld

"My grandfather manufactured waistcoats - you might say he had a vested interest.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said 'No change yet'.

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

Remeber, never listen to authority or eat fried worms.

The world is full of weevils.

hi there
this puns will probably haunt you for the rest of your days

Pun #1

two weevils lived in a field. The first went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The second stayed ahome and never amounted to much.
He became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Pun #2

Two inuit were fishing in their boat. they got cold and lit a fire and their boat sank.
This proves you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Pun #3

A man sent in ten puns to a local contest hoping to win.
unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

The last pun #4

some monks decided to earn some money and opened a flower shop. Everyone wanted to buy flowers from "men of god" so the local flowershop couldn't compete. The owner asked them to close, but they refused. He begged and they still refused. So he hired a man named Hugh to go rough them up. He threatened to beat them up unless they closed and they did.
(get ready)
thus proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

GROAN

And remember, stay away fom Bran Muffins.

My newest unique

Now that I've been posting for a while-not too long- I am now adding this onto evry post.

Why should I care? I don't.
Goodbye

Is it the government?

I just checked my stats and I noticed 4 PEOPLE ARE TRACKING ME?

How are they doing this i want to know? Through a anal-probe satelite. I never should of fallen asleep at the that government meeting.

OH nO. is the government tracking me!?

I like to act crazy by the way.

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