CIV 3 and 4 are actually quite different in many ways. 99% is not accurate at all. Each CIV game was great for its time but obviously CIV4 is graphically superior and CIV5 even more so, of course. The thing about CIV4 though is it will hold up graphically for a very long time whereas I can't really play CIV3 anymore - just too hard to look at.
Anyway, regarding 3 and 4, CIV3 was all about expanding as fast as you can to grab land. Land is important in CIV4 but you can't expand as fast due to the maintenance costs, so everything you do has a purpose and needs to be well thought out. CIV4 is very complex but if you can get some basic strategies down you will do fine at normal levels. The game gets ridiculous challenging at higher levels, but it is a fun process trying to improve to win on those levels. CIV4 by no means does everything for you. Micro-managing is the key to winning. Automation is a major no-no.
If you haven't been able to really get into CIV4, it's likely do to not understanding the finer aspects of the game and, thusly, just going through the motions. I recommend checking out the forums at "civfanatics.com" to learn strategies on how to play the game, it's civs and leaders.
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