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david_critic Blog

"Oh, what happened?" The state of America's Got Talent

As many people know, I have loved the show "America's Got Talent"" since its inception. But, now I have had to rethink this, and it's too bad. The reason is quite frankly that it sucks now, it has lost all purpose, reason, and awesomeness that it once possessed in spades. "The Days of Regis" are gone, aswell as any semblance of intellect that would usually inhabit the show. It had become American Idol. The Hoff remains, but his presence is sadly not enough to bring the show to the level it once rested upon. Now, I have the perpetual idiot Jerry Springer telling me the most blatantly obvious things, example:

[Ivan "The Urban Action Toy" or something crashes on a attempted jump across a grouping of chairs, lands on his head and is quite apparently knocked unconcious]

Jerry: "This wasn't supposed to happen."

No duh, dumbass. This is just one example of the idiocy that has overtaken what was once a show to look forward to. Regis Philbin...you're sorely needed, come back...and bring Michelle L'amour with you.

My thoughts on E3 '07

Overall, this years E3 was largely successful in my eyes. The showing of many games that would be coming out in the realtive near future, the apparent progress in many hotly anticipated games that I myself am looking forward to with enthusiastic glee, and of course Peter Moore rocking out on stage. What was good about them, I will comment on here (Note: I did not witness Nintendo's press conference, so out of respect I will write about only what I have heard and small portions of videos I have seen):

Microsoft: I liked Microsoft's press conference, and admired their sincerity when it came to their promise of their games all coming out in this year. It was also shorter and more to the point, which always wins points in my book. There were some problems, however. I would have liked to see some more important news, and also some new games. Also, it seemed like Microsoft was sort of pulling a Nintendo this year, much like the previously mentioned company did as well, by "resting on their laurels". This is not good,because I like to see drive and determination, which Sony definitely came to the show with (due to their present situation).The addition of Scene-it is totally awesome though. Overall, I believe that if they continue to put their importance in keeping gamers satisfied,the 360 and Microsoft will have a very promising future.

Nintendo: Not much I can say about them, considering I wasn't able to witness most of their presentations. But, judging from what I heard it seems as though Nintendo's focus has shifted from what used to be their core demographic...the gamers. This doesn't upset me much to be honest, but I do find it unfair to all those who bought a Wii and expected it to provide them with things other than entries in the Mario franchise and...ugh, fitness games. Now, granted, it is good that Nintendo wants its gamers to be in at least a modicum of shape, but this is too much. If somebody wants to get fit, they'll pick up adumbell. In my opinion, if Nintendo doesn't stop with this constant barrage of "mainstream" games, I fear that they will lose the people that really should matter to them, the gamers.

Sony: Ah, Sony. How the mighty have fallen. In the time since they shifted focus from their black goldmine the PS2, they have seen thier previously unquestioned dominance turn into a joke among other consolefanboys and their own fans alike. Their presence this year was significantly better though, with many games that looked good, and also with a sort of scared humbleness and desperation. I found that very interesting to see Sony sweat for once. But, I do have to give credit where credit is due, and I believe that Sony did do a good job of coming back into the race. Now, I believe that people have become much too excited over this Killzone 2 business. The game looks good, but just like Halo 3, It seems like people are looking at the thing as the Second Coming or something of the like. We have only seen two videos, one a faux-realtime CGI trailer, and the other actual gameplay (hopefully). I think people shold wait before they start getting too excited, highly-hyped games can often disappoint, and it seems that Sony is putting a lot of their eggs in one basket with this game. Hopefully, for them, is does not backfire. Sony continuedits tradition of semi-lying to their customers with the recent price-cut. Now, when people heard of this they were excited, especially theSony crowd who saw it as a possible pathway to success for their beloved console. However,Sonykinda pulled a fast one with everybody after they announced that the price-cut would only be applying to the version of the console that was about to be discontinued and wasjust a way of having a"fire-sale" fortheir merchandise.Overall, this E3 could quite easily be descibed as the comeback for Sony, but they still need to get their act together if they want to have a chance to take Nintendo (which is winning the console war) and Microsoft (who console is very attractive and catered to extreme gamers).

Final Thoughts: I don't know who is going to win the console war. But, I know that this E3 has proved one thing...that all of the respective companies have kicked into overdrive to become the best. Mainly, this "war" is being fought by Sony and Microsoft, because Nintendo doesn't even appear to care (which strengthens my theory that they all have participated in some kind of psychotropic hallucinogens). I hope that all of the companies do well, but because of my own personal bias (which I have tried not to have affect this piece of writing) it is my wish for Microsoft to emerge victorious.

R.I.P. Dad

My father, David Gunn Sr. just died, although peacefully and painlessly. I don't know really why I'm writing about it, I just kinda wanted to say something about the fact that he was a great dad and I amverysad to see him go. The real hard part about having a loved one die is that you have too see your other family members sad just like you are, which is not something I enjoy. I guess the otherreason I'm writing about this is because my family said I should express myself like I always do, and I always talk about things, so there you go. R.I.P. Dad.

This is freaking awesome.

There is a movie being filmed right nearby my block named "Stuck" and I've been hanging around the set for quite awhile freezing my ass off from the harsh cold canadian night. The best thing besides this being my fist visit to any film set, is the fact that Mena Suvari is the main character and I've met her (by the way she's freaking hot). I'm pumped, I can't wait to go back tomorrow because today's filming just wrapped a few minutes ago.

This is good.

Bianca Ryan won America's Got Talent, I am very happy about this because I wanted her to win the entire time (her or the stripper). The thing that did upset me however was the fact that Celtic Springs had gotten a lot of votes almost as much as Bianca Ryan, this worries me because why would the people vote for a idiotic Irish tap-dancing troupe, instead of a girl who's going to be the next [insert famous female singer here]. Hopefully next season America (or at least the people who voted people in becuase they cried) will stop being pansies and voting people in just because they cry.

This is absolutely, positively, unequivocally, unacceptable.

I watched America's Got Talent today like I always do (great show by the way watch it) and I was eagerly awaiting the voting results, however once I heard them I was appalled. Somehow the beautiful Michelle L'amour (perhaps better known as the stripper on the show) was voted out, even though just last night she had peformed an awesome burlesque session. I voted for her naturally because she's hot and I want to see her go places, and let's face it a million dollars would help, however a group of stupid, crappy, annoying little Irish tap dancers named very masculinely "Celtic Springs" had somehow managed to win over a awesome stripper. This really sucks for me because I *would* have defintely liked to see more of the great Michelle L'amour, but unfortunately "Celtic Springs" crushed this hope with their stupid little tap-dancing shoes. Overall basically I am outraged at what has transpired on the show, and also at America's choice of a freaking tap-dancing group reminescent of "Riverdance", over a hot stripper who just so happens was extremely talented in her own way. Okay to quote Forrest Gump "That's all I have to say about that".

10 Reasons why Zoolander rules.

Here are ten reasons why the film Zoolander rules, (kind of redundant considering the title, but whatever).

1. The protagonist, Derek Zoolander is well made and is well drawn out.

2. The fashion design in it is fabulous.

3. Milla Jovovich is in it.

4. Any movie that features the song "Beat It" while two characters have a dance-off is awesome in my opinion.

5. The motion picture has an assortment, nay a myriad of memorable quotes, such as "You can Dere-lick my balls." and then the protagonists imediately comes back with the emphasized remark "I can Dere-lick my own balls." That's quality writing.

6. The Gasoline Fight. That's all I have to say.

7. Jerry Stiller is cool.

8. Will Farrell is actually good in it.

9. The film has various cameos that I find good, this also leads me to my number one reason...

10. Billy Zane has a cameo in it, and Billy Zane is my hero.

Those are my 10 reasons why Zoolander rules.

My Review of Hitman: Blood Money

Fantastic game that was worth the wait. The Hitman series is quite possibly my favorite video game series ever, I have liked every one of them immensely. My favorite would probably have been Hitman: Contracts the fourth game in the series, however it has now been dethroned by the superior Hitman: Blood Money, I will tell you why.

The Hitman franchise has always been about providing a fun, replayable gaming experience, and I'm happy to say that the latest dosen't dissapoint. Blood Money is like every other Hitman, enjoyable and fun. It provides a pleasant gaming experience from start to finish, and like the rest a lot of the missionns are highly replayable, with the exceptions of a few.

There are many good things about BM, like the stealth gameplay which is still good, the replayability, the mission design, the great graphics, the engaging storyline, the fantastic soundtrack composed by Jesper Kyd, the sound design in general, and the various ways and instruments to cause death. I believe I should go into more detail though of the game's various strong points so here it goes. Like always the stealth action has remained fun and functional, there are still all the various means of which you could sneak around like changing your attire to throw off the NPCs or to gain access to different areas throughout the level (Note: You should always put your suit back on at the end of the level you will get extra money). The soundtrack like every other Hitman game is very well done and suits the game's theme, I especially this game's one. The graphics are also extremely well designed and implemented, the various artistic touches are very nice, and you'll be happy if you have a good machine like i do so you can enjoy all of the different graphical flourishes. The guns which have always been an important part of the series are still well chosen and well designed, there are also various ways to retrofit them with various upgrades such as scopes and laser sights (Note: You can only customize your four main weapons and your on person accessories however). Also the bulletholes have returned, yay!

However, there are problems with the game, such as the save feature which almost seems worthless sometimes because whenever you exit or restart the level all of the saves will be erased (this is not a glitch it is part of the game). The other problem can be the gunplay, which granted was never Hitman's strong point, and the point of the game really isn't about shooting anyway. Another problem is the AI which can be erratic at times, because there will be moments where the AI behaves normally and functions like it should, but there are times also when the AI is either stupid, or way too smart (almost to the point of being psychic), I've had many occasions where the AI would know where I was hiding somewhere where the guards would never have looked given the situation, but ofcourse they ran in guns blazing. These aren't that big of problems though and hey can overlooked, but they are still there either way.

Pros: Same great Hitman gameplay, very nice graphics and audio, great operatic score by Jesper Kyd, replayable.

Cons: Some AI bugs, sometimes lame shooting, some graphical glitches (I haven't experienced any but a lot of people say they're there), save system is kind of a double edge sword, no multiplayer (might be bad for some people, personally I don't care).

Bottom Line: Great game that continues the series fantastic streak, albeit with some minor problems.

Why is Vin Diesel trying to kill the Hitman series?

Another topic that I am losing sleep over is Vin Diesel's hostile takeover of my beloved videogame series. It's just stupid that he is now involved in the movie project when there are other  actors that would suit the role much better, like Jason Statham for one, the other is David Bateson (who just so happens provides the voice of 47 in the game). Now granted Vin Diesel is bald so I guess that made him a shoe-in for the role, but I just don't like the fact that studios have to hire someone like him to play the role just because he's famous, when there are other more capable actors probably ready to take the role.

There's also another problem that for me is more serious and it is that he plans to take the reigns of the game series and hand them over to his own developing company Tigon Studios (the company behind the Riddick game, which was good). This frightens me because what would happen if the series was up-rooted from its original developer IO Interactive? The game would probably be radically different from its former self, that I would hate. Well that's just about enough of me rambling for me, by the way I like Vin Diesel but I think this is ridiculous.

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