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dancingbeatle Blog

Important Soccer Ball

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Nevermind the title, it's random. This blog is about how doing little things and changing what you eat can improve your life for the better.

 

1. Avoiding skin cancer by drinking less!

Alcohol that is. Regularly sipping more than one alcoholic drink a day raises your risk of melanoma- the most serious form of skin cancer- by as much as 80%. In high doses, alcohol damages the genetic material inside cells, plus it flushes out cancer-preventing nutrients through the kidneys.


Beer


2. Getting a "facelift" with bagles and lox!

The omega-3 fatty acids in salmon and other fatty fish such as tuna and sardines are as good for your complexion as they are for your brain.

Lox


3. Begin the "luckiest" habit!

Get into the routine of smiling aftet every few sentences. This simple act gives the message that you're easygoing and know how to let the negative things slide, which makes you appear a  winner. Studies have shown there's a hidden power behind smiling- waitresses who smile earn 140% higher tips, and job applicants are more likely to be offered a high-paying position.

Smile


4.  Motion sickness won't quit?

Ask  your doctor to prescribe Phenergan (promethazine), which is more effective than over-the-counter Dramamine (dimenhydrinate). In a study folks who used the OTC remedy were twice as likely to still be hit with nausea!


Phenergan




5. Smoothing lines by eating more salads!

Greens like spinach, romane lettuce, broccoli and brussels sprouts are packed with lutein and zeaxanthin, nutrients, that heal and strengthen skin cells, plus increase your skin's moisture content by as much as 60% Rx: Eating one cup a day makes skin plumper and fine lines less noticeable within two months! Bonus: Recent Australian research suggests eating greens daily cuts skin cancer risk as much as 55%

Salad

6. Cocoa prevents-even erases wrinkles!

Try drinking one 7 oz cup a day. Doing that for 3 months gave women smoother, suppler facial skin- a change that reduced wrinkles and redness by 25 % and reversed sun damage! Why? Flavonols inn cocoa help repair sun-triggered cellular damage. Choose a dark-chocolate drink, sincr these contain the highest percentage of cocoa. One to try: Nestle Dark Hot Cocoa Mix.


Hot Cocoa





7. Conquer unexpected obstancles with lavender!

Late for an appointment? Waiting in an endless line at the post office? Take a whiff of lavender to stay serene in these and other frustrating situations. Volunteers who breathed in this sweet scent felt more relaxed and had lower cortisol levels in their salvia just five minutes later. The aroma triggers a shift in the brain from left frontal activity to right frontal indicating a calmer emotional state, according to a recent EEG brain scan study from the University of Miami School of Medicine.


Lavender field



Song:

Innocent Sorrow: by me


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbCg-S8o97s







 


 

 

Cursing Sorrowful, Parting Trap

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I've leveled up to easter egg. The fireworks in mario games? All of these are from old issues of Women' World Magazine.

To win an argument, wear pastel pink!
Want to calm someone down or have them see things your way? Wear pink! Just looking at he soft shade reduces hostility and tension for a full half hour. Brain scans show pink stimulates the hypothalamus, which controls our moods, reactions and emotions.

pastel pink hearts

Cutting meat intake cuts diabetes risk
People who eat more than three 6 oz servings of red meat a week, and lots of full fat cheese, are four times more likely to develop diabetes. The foods elevate blood levels of proteins linked to the disease.

red meat

To rev up your relationship, wear red!
Seeing it triggers epinephrine and adrenaline, two excitement hormones that speed up heart rate, rise body temperature and cause a feeling of exhilaration. It's a powerful stimulant that men are physiologically atracted to. No wonder it's the international color of passion and love!

 

red dress

Bust stress by Reppoting a plant!
Gardening has long been one of the top ten hobbies in America and a new study has pinpointed why: Tiny bacteria in soil activate recepors in the brain, triggering the release of the hormone sertontonin! Dig in the dirt without gloves to increase exposure to the friendly, feel-good bacteria.



To boost everyone's mood, wear citrus!
Warm clors like orange and yellow convey friendliness and warmth, making everyone who sees them happier. Tests show the brain's "happiness centers" are actually activated by exposure to warm, bright colors in fact a study from the University of Georgia found an astounding 94% of people who viewed these colors felt happier in seconds!

orange shirt

Reducing redness with tea breaks!
Drinking as little as 16 oz of black or green tea daily dramatically reduces inflammation inside skin cells, helping to soothe away chronic redness, as well as itchiness, irritation and puffiness, in as little as 14 days, researchers say. Not a tea lover? Sip three glasses of purple grape juice a week instead; its antioxidants including quercerin, kaempferol and resveratrol also heal irritated skin, plus strengthen immunity, helping people recover more quickly from skin infections.

green tea

Erase congesion with yerba mansa!
The leaves and roots of this perennial were used for centuries by Native Americans to calm cold, allergies and even sinus problems. Yerba mansa has strong antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properies that soothe irritated mucous membranes. It's so effective at stemming soreness and swelling, preliminary research shows it can ease symptoms of strep throat!

Yerba mansa


Song

Shine- Collective Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_m0bI82Rz_k

Also if you have any interest in helping unions than take a look at this:

http://www.gamespot.com/users/Nightmare-_-/show_blog_entry.php?topic_id=m-100-26020279

Well I'll blog at another time, later.

Hidden wound merciless decision

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To feel empowered, wear purple
Purple is the color most often associated with wisdom and spirituality so folks who see you wearing it automatically view you as important and fascinating without you saying a word! And once you do talk you'll confirm the impression. Because purple is proven to stimulate the pituitary gland which boost imagination! Purple isn't as common in nature as other colors, it's seen as exotic and mysterious.

Purple shirt

Say yes to everything
Whether it's a neighborhood block party, a store opening or a mommy and me class, go for it! "The first step in attracting luck is putting yourself among new people," says Susan Roane, author of How to create your own luck. "Take the 'you never know approach: You just never know who you'll meet or what could happen from a conversation. Join the PTA, look in the newspaper for groups or local town meetings, or check your supermarket's bulletin board for upcoming events.

Yes men

Crank up your confidence! Look at family photos
Nervous? Just gaze at a photo of your family. People with good family bonds have a sense of selfworth and greater resilience during tough times and looking at family photos conjures up this same sense of security. Seeing yourself as part of a larger whole fuels a sense of belonging and reminds us of our support system.

Simpsons

Express gratitude!
Offering thanks and the postive vibes that go with being thankful will put more lucky situations into your life. Lucky breaks are handed out by people who think you're great, and people love when someone is appreciative of their time and effort. Think of someone who's shown you an extra dose of kindness, and say thank you in person, send a quick thank you e-mail or even send a formal thank you note.

Getting a glow by easing stress!
Spending 20 minutes daily doing something that helps you unwind, such as stretching, napping, knitting, praying or even reading can counter the effects of two stress hormones- adrenaline and cortinsool that tighten blood vessels and slow the flow of healing nutrients and oxygen to the delicate skin cells.

stretching

Laughter really is contagious!
Hearing someone else laugh activates an area of your brain that makes you laugh too. Studies have shown that laughter is a health booster.

laughter

Avoid sagging with cereal and bean burritos!
Avoiding blood sugar spikes is key to preventing premature sagging. Sugar overloads trigger the formation of free radicals, which damage the skin's supportive collagen strands. Gradually add more fiber to your diet until you reach at least 15 grams a day. Or get it from one heaping cup of bran cereal or a good size bean burrito.

bean burrito

 

Song for the blog:

Freedom by Rage Against the machine:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2ocEnFZRfo

The wisdom of the dervish A Jewish folktale

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Time for another story.

Once upon a time, a young wife announced to her husband that she was pregnant and, without a moment's thought, the young man ran out of the house and down to the village square. "My wife and I are going to have a son!" he cried to everyone he met. "Our son will be handsome and wise and courageous, and everyone will admire him, and he will be our greatest joy so that never again will we have a day of sorrow or longing." The young man told the news to everyone - to the rabbi and merchants, students and teachers, farmers and tradesmen. He did not stop until all those in the village had heard the news. When he reached home and burst through the door, his wife glared angrily at him. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Why aren't you celebrating?" "You're a fool," his wife answered. "Do you wish to suffer the fate of the dervish?" "What?" the husband asked, for he had never heard the tale of the dervish, and so his wife sat him down, made him a pot of tea and began to tell the tale.

Rabbi

"Once upon a time," she began, "there lived a dervish who worked for a king as a spiritual adviser. Every day the king paid the dervish with a sweet cake and a bowl full of honey." "What kind of payment is that?" the husband asked, but his wife put her fingers to her lips. "Listen carefully, husband. This is a tale you must hear."The husband quieted down, and she went on. "Each evening, the dervish ate the cake, and he poured the bowl of honey into a big jar. "One day the dervish noticed that his honey jar was nearly overflowing, and he thought he would go to the market to sell it, for in those days honey was precious. So the dervish closed his eyes and began to imagine his future. "He decided he would sell his jar of honey to buy a flock of 10 sheep. Yes, a fine, fat flock. And then, in springtime, those 10 sheep would give birth to lambs, and at the end of one year, he would have many more fat sheep. The next year there would be more still.

sweet cake
"Now the dervish gripped the cane he used - except he imagined this cane was his shepherd's crook, and he saw the hilltop upon which he lived covered with hundreds of sheep. With so many sheep, he decided he could sell some of the flock to purchase a cow. Naturally the cow would bear calves. At market he would sell those calves, and with the money he earned from the sale he would purchase a nice plot of land. He would purchase an ox, too, and with that ox, he'd plow his fields. "Ah, what a fine life he imagined. There he sat, upon his hill while his sheep grazed upon his bountiful land, and his cows poured forth milk, and his ox plowed the land - and with plenty of wheat to sell at market, he earned still more money, and with that money, he would build a magnificent house. "Oh, what a house he would build! The dervish smiled at the thought, but then, of course, the house would be so large, he would need servants, and so he would hire young men and women from the village.

Sheep

And one day, while in the village, he would meet the most beautiful maiden, and they would fall in love and marry and have a child. They would have a fine young boy who would grow to be strong and wise and handsome. Their son would be blessed by the good fortune of the dervish and his lady, and the child would bring them great honor. "Ah, but then the dervish began to wonder. What if his son were too strong-willed and disobedient? What if he refused to work to earn his way in the world? What if he were only a dreamer who did no work but sat upon a hill only imagining his future and refusing to obey his father's desires? "The dervish squinted hard, imagining how he would discipline his disobedient, dreaming son. He hated to think this way, but he would have to beat some sense into his son

Shepard's crook

he would use his shepherd's crook, for he could not put up with a lazy boy, with someone who was willing only to dream, never to work. "And with that thought the dervish began to swing his stick this way and that, and he awoke from his dream to discover that with that swinging stick he had broken his honey jar, and all that precious honey was streaming out of the jar and onto the floor. All was lost." The wife finished her tale, and she smiled at her husband. The young man nodded. "I now understand," he said. "We must be cautious, for we cannot know what tomorrow will bring." "Yes," his wife said, "just as King Solomon said: 'Boast not thyself, for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.' " (Proverbs 27:1)

Honey

Jokes:

1. Doctor's Guarantee

"The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."

"Was he successful?"

"Yup, I had to sell my car to pay his bill."

doctor


2. Dress Code

Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, my friend trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette.

One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her.

Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, "Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?"

The man replied, "That's one of the benefits you get of owning the company."

golf shirt


3. Unruly Child

A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, 'I'm running away from home!'.

The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. 'What if you get hungry?', he said.

'Then I'll come home and eat!', bravely declared the child. ' And what if you run out of money?'.

'I will come home and get some!', readily replied the child.

The man then made a final attempt, 'What if your clothes get dirty?'.

'Then I'll come home and let mommy wash them.', was the reply.

The man shook his head and exclaimed, 'This kid is not running away from home, he's going off to college!!'.

Song:

Pretty Woman- Roy Orbison

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8x2tG4X0cdc

Too bad he's been dead for 24 years now.


Every breath you breathe

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Again the blog title is related to a line for the song that I will post the link to at the bottom of the blog.

Beat Sinus Pressures

1. Avoid irritants with an air filter
Microscopic fungus spores in the air contribute to sinus woes in 96% of chronic sufferes. Using a HEPA air filter helps removes these culprits.


2. Prevent persistent pain with water
Getting low on fluids can trigger swelling in the lining of the nose, resulting in pain an increasing the risk of infection.

3. Ease pressure with a hot compress
Applying a moist, heated washcloth across your forehead and nose for 5 minutes, 3 times daily, helps losen congestion, clearing pressure-building mucus from the nasal cavity.

4. Protect airways with a scarf
Pulling it high enough to cover your nose will kepp cold air from rying sinus membranes, reducing their susceptibility to germs.

5. Soothe sinuses with steam
Making sure the small hairs that line the sinuses stay moist and are able to move back and forth helps send bacteria and other irritants out of the body. To do: breathe in hot steam during a shower or by bending over a hot cup of tea and inhaling deeply.

6. Maximize relief by keeping your chin up
Propping your head up with an extra pillow or two throughout the night helps drain sinuses while you sleep.

Jokes:

1. Business Class

I'd been working on my business degree for about a year when I finally got to take a popular finance course. I went to the bookstore to buy the text and was shocked to find out that it would cost me $96. I asked how much it was worth if I sold it back at the end of the semester.

"You'll get $24," said the clerk.

"This is insane," I protested as I wrote out the check.

"I know," replied the clerk sympathetically. "I've always thought that a person who buys a book for $96 and then sells it back for $24 should fail the course."



2. New Definitions...

Read closely, and perhaps slowly, to understand...

1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds.

2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tried to do.

3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage.

4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with.

5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate.

6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living.

8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist.

9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does.

10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money.

11. MISTY: How golfers create divots.

12. PARADOX: Two physicians.

13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm.

15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with.

16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

17. RELIEF: What trees do in the Spring.

18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife.

19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does.

20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official.

Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend


3. Keeping Her Word...

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."



4. Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy and walks on all fours. Although they doesn't speak clearly, they communicate extremely well, especially cats.

5. Dogs and cats are better than kids ...they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called (this does not apply to cats), never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college. Also, if they get pregnant, you can sell the children!!!

Godsmack- Mistakes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r58KPj9FWcI

That's all for now, Merry Christmas to all.

"I knew he was sad."

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Listen to the song it'll make sense.

1. Avoid this hidden danger!
It's iron. Getting too much of this mineral can as much as double your risk of developing diabetes. Excess iron settles in the pancreas and liver, where it stalls insulin production and hinders the body's ability to use glucose. Your best bet: Opt for an iron-free multi, unless a blood test confirms that you're iron deficient.

2. Hang out with supportive people!
Encouragement from others makes us more likely to achieve things that make us lucky! When we're told by others we can accomplish something, it gives us the confidence to achieve it! Say encouraging things to your loved one, and they'll start saying them back to you! Since we often mirror the behavior of others, being a cheerleader for others will make them cheer for you, too!

3. Beat depression with Salba
Salba seeds, also called chia contain 8 times more mood boosting omega-3 fatty acids than a serving of salmon! A handful contains 6 times more calcium than a glass of milk, 3 times more iron than spinach and 3 times more antioxdants than blueberries.

salba chia

4. Soy buils new collagen!
Eating soy-based foods increases collagen production so effectively that if you do you'll have less sagging and fewer wrinkles than women who don't. Collagen proteins are like scaffolding in skin-they're the fibers that maintain the structure of cells, so reinforcing them helps keep the surface of skin taut and firm. Use soy milk in your coffee and pour it over your morning cereal; add tofu to your favorite stir-fry; and snack on soy nuts.

soy beans

5. To comfort someone, Wear powder blue!
Looking at this shade trigers the production of melatonin, the brain chemical in charge of sleep and relaxation. What's more, it produces impulses in the brain that calm the nervous system and lower pulse rate! It makes someone feel comforted just talking to you.

powder blue

6. Feel more optimistic! Look at yellow daffodils!
The sight of flowers makes people feel happier and more satisfied with their lives. The color yellow is study-proven to trigger the release of feel-good endorphins and daffodils are strongly associated with springtime-the season of fresh starts.

daffodil

The daffodil is also the national flower of Wales and is also known as the Narcissus

Jokes:

1. Are you an Engineer?

If these remind you of yourself, it's a good bet you are an engineer.

- At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string.

- In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure.

- The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.

- You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling.

- You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday.

- You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.

- You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.

- You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.

- You forgot to get a haircut ... for 6 months.

- You have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area.

- You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.

- You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.

- You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.

- You know what http:// actually stands for.

- You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.

- You see a good design and still have to change it.

- You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.

- You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa).

- You're in the back seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite.

- You know what the geosynchronous satellite's function is.

- Your laptop computer costs more than your car.

- You've already calculated how much you make per second.

- You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio.


2. Black Market Drugs

The FBI and the DEA are joining efforts and will be assigning some of their agents to a quasi-FBI/DEA enforcement team specifically targeting the illegal allergy pills sales that occur on the black market.

The agents will be called "Pseudo Feds."


3. In Line...

Here are the reasons I'd Like to thank Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, and my local grocer for having 25 checkout lanes and only three open at any given time.

-- Waiting in long lines keeps my domestic brain from going completely idle -- there's so much to learn!

- I can catch up on my magazine reading without buying any.

- I have time to leave my cart in line and run back to get the 13 things on my list I forgot.

- I can be one of those annoying cell phone users and catch up on all my phone calls to my insurance agent, mother-in-law, and Auntie Anne.

- I can catch a quick catnap now rather than on the drive home.

- I can assess what other people have in their carts and get exciting new dinner ideas.

- I can finally apply my top coat of nail polish with plenty of drying time.

- I can run next door and pick up my dry cleaning.

- I can update my coupon organizer and leave the trash in the we-never-open-enough-checkout-lanes store instead of my purse.

- I can practice my standup comedy routines on unsuspecting fellow customers.

- I can practice some standing yoga poses and then do those isometric muscle-contracting exercises no one else in line is supposed to know you're doing.

- I can taste test my package of the newest low-carb, zero-transfat, Splenda-saturated cookies.

- I can breathe heavily on my T-bones so they're defrosted in time for dinner and I won't have to leave them out on the driveway in the hot late afternoon sun as I normally do.



4. Fined

Joe was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defense.

"They should not put up such misleading notices," said Joe.

"It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

song:

Leader of the pack- The Shangri-Las

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McvWodRXA7k

That's all for now, thanks for reading and have a wonderful week. :)





Eggs are good for you

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A new study has proved eggs actually lower cholesterol and everyone should eat 2 or 3 of them every day. Eggs can hep you lose weight. There is no convincing evidence to link an increased intake of eggs with coronary heart disease. Don't spoil the good news by cookiung your eggs in a ton of butter, which is loaded with saturated fat. Cook them in a non-stick skillet or eat them boiled or poached. Eggs can boost your brainpower and fight off memory loss Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia. They're loaded with a B vitamin called choline that nourishes, brain cells and keeps rhem firing on all cylinders, no matter how old you are. Choline also reduces chronic inflammation which has been linked to heart disease, ostepporosis and type 2 diabetes as well as mental decline. Eggs furthur reduce your risk of heart attack and stroke by preventing the formation of blood clots, and the lutein they contain will keep your vision sharp.

eggs

Jokes:

1. New Element Found

The recent hurricane and gasoline issues helped prove existence of a new element. In early October [2005] a major research institution announced discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Government."

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons. Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second!

Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Gv is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes Administratium (Am) - an element which radiates just as much energy as Gv since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.


2. Age is a Funny Thing

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old?" Well . . .... You'll love this one!

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his, DDS, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. Hmmm ... Or could he?

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang," he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1959. Why do you ask?"

"You were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, wrinkled SOB asked, "What did you teach?"


3. Source for Accurate Weather

To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining.

But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.

If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.

If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.

Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.

Sincerely, The CAT



4. Words of Wisdom

Life can be only understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

Trust everybody . . . then cut the cards.

Don't do for others what, given the chance, they wouldn't do for themselves.

Summer must be over. My neighbor just returned my lawn furniture.

If you are willing to admit you are wrong when you are wrong, then you are all right.

It's good to question authority, but not mine.

Love doesn't really make the world go round, but it makes the ride worthwhile.

Age is just a number and mine is unlisted.

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

The first Ten Commandments are the hardest.

A retired husband is a wife's full time job.

Heredity is something parents comfortably believe in, if they have a bright child.

Only one shopping day left until tomorrow!

Happiness is the place between too little and too much.

Circular arguments often make the rounds.

Even at a Mensa convention, someone is the dumbest person in the room.

When in doubt. . . mumble.

Money can't buy everything . .but then again, neither can no money.

Another favorite of mine.

The reason- Hoobastank:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV4DiAyExN0


Side note: today 12/10/12. It has been 19 years since my maternal grandfather passed away at the age of 60.


3 Reasons to fall for butternut squash

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Are you looking for a healthy seasonal treat? Try butternut squash. Available from early fall through winter at most groceries and farmers markets, it's low in calories and may prevent a host of ailments.

butternut squash


1. Fight cancer and more.
A little bit of this squash will unleash the power of betacarotene. Your body converts this super-nutrient to vitamin A. I cup of butternut squash provides nearly 5 times the USDA's daily recommendation of 3,000 IU. Benefits: the power to ward off skin disorders, age-related vision loss and even leukemia.


2. Reverse smoking damage
Eating food rich in vitamin A can reduce your chances of developing emphysema.


3. Maintain heart health
The 1-2 punch of fiber and potassium protects against heart disease and high blood pressure. Just 1 cup of the gourd provides nearly 3 grams of fiber and more than 10% of the USDA's daily recommendation of 4,000 mg of potassium. Also a good source of folate. Try butternut squash bruschetta with ricotta, lemon juice and parmesan.

Jokes

1. Show and Tell

Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of "Show and Tell" that day had been parents' occupations.

The teacher pulled me aside. Whispering, she advised, "You might want to explain a little bit more to your daughter what you do for a living."

I work as a training consultant and often conduct my seminars in motel conference rooms.

When I asked why, the teacher explained, "Your daughter told the class she wasn't sure what you did, but said you got dressed real pretty and went to work at motels."


2. Internet Lingo

The language of the internet is full of shortcuts. Some, like LOL (laugh out loud) and KISS(keep It Simple Stupid) have gone mainstream. But new online lingo is always popping up.

AYPI: And Your Point Is?

AWGTHTGTTA: Are We Going to Have to Go Through This Again?

BEG: Big Evil Grin

HHO1/2 K: Ha HA, Only Half Kidding

TYCLO: Turn Your CAPS LOCK OFF!


3. Oops...

Finishing up our work at a trade show in San Diego, my co- worker Maureen and I decided to go sightseeing across the border in Tijuana, Mexico. While there, we went shopping and bought a few pieces of clay kitchenware.

As we crossed back into the United States, a customs official asked if we had anything of value to report.

"Not really," Maureen replied, digging in her bag for the bean crock she had purchased. Everyone around us froze as she continued, "I only bought a little pot."


4. Cooking Eggs

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful.

CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful week. :)

With a thrill in my head

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Another week another blog.

1. Easy foot-pain RX
If you've ever had plantar fasciitis you know how important fast relief is! Researchers have a fix: Sit cross the affected foot over the opposite knee, pull back your toes, and hold for count of 10. Repeat 9 times.


2. Soy helps prevent breast cancer! Women with the highest levels of ann estrogen-like compound found in soy are 65% less likely to develop breast cancer than women with the lowest levels. Check with your doctor before adding soy to your diet.

soy milk


3. Smile more! It's an instant facelift! Repeatedly contracting your facial muscles makes them stroner, helping your skin stay firmer.

ice cream smiley

4. Roll over! Sleeping on your tummy and pressing your face into the pillow can create creases. Try sleeping on your back.

sleeping cat


5. Sip water! Staying hydrated is key to keeping skin smooth and elastic. Drink 8 glasses of 8 ounces of water a day.


6. Relax and notice the unexpected! Lucky people see unexpected opportunities while unlucky people can be so focused on a task they don't notice anything else. Unlucky people are generally more tense, which disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected. When you feel yourself too absorbed in something, take 3 deep breaths. The extra oxygen goes right to your brain, making you more mentally aware.


7. Avoiding a D-ficiency!
Vitamin D protects against several types of cancer diabetes, arthritis, osteoporosis, heart disease and back pain. Can also ward off the blue feelings that come with PMS, seasonal affective disorder and depression!

jokes

1. Eating Strawberries

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A child playing in front of his house saw him and called, "What are you hauling?"

"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.

"What are you going to do with it?" asked the child.

"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.

"You ought to live here," the child advised him.

"We put sugar and cream on them."


2. Visiting Australia

These are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a snide sense of humor.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/ gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets, especially The Taipans.

Australia


3. Truths About Life, learned by young children...

1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3. If your sister hits you, don't hit back. They always catch the second person.

4. Never ask your 3 year-old brother to hold a tomato.

5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6. Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.

7. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

8. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a breath mint.

9. Never hold a vacuum and a cat at the same time.

10. School lunches stick to the wall.

11. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

12. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts - no matter how cute the underwear is.


4. Marriage Vows

My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my Mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband."

And she said, "I do."

Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife," and my Mom said, "He does."

song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoctAR61U28

Good old 80's music. I'll just get stuck in my head and have to either sing or hum.




The Piper's Song An Irish legend.

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Do you know what time it is? No, not hammer time or adventure time.

Of all the pipers, none was as amazing as the blind man Paddy Connor. Paddy could not see, but he could play the pipes reels and jigs and marches, fast or slow. And no one but Paddy Connor had this power: The moment he played his first note, nobody could keep from dancing. Young and old, big and small no matter who heard Paddy's pipes, their feet would start tapping, and a moment later those feet were dancing fast and furious. Nobody could stop dancing until Paddy stopped playing his pipes. In every village, Paddy played for fairs and weddings and parties, and Paddy's mother was always there, for she feared her son might get lost on his way. So Paddy and that old mother of his traveled together, and happy they were - until one day when everything changed. It was at Ballinskellig Bay. A lovely evening it was, and the party was as fine as those views of the mountains and sea. Paddy began to play, and naturally everyone began to dance, and on and on they went for hours into the night. Even that mother of Paddy's, old as she was, was dancing as joyfully as all the girls, and Paddy himself danced that night. Then somebody noticed an amazing sight down on the strand.

piper

sea creatures

Out there on that narrow beach, the creatures of the sea were leaping out of the water. It seems it was the sound of the beautiful music that drew them, for they lept onshore and began to dance. Crabs spun on their claws, and crayfish and lobsters twisted. Cod curtsied, and turbot and flounder were twirling while mackerel were whirling. Skate and sole began to spring and swing. The shore was thick with oysters clacking their shells like castanets. Earth and sea seemed joined, with everyone dancing together to the sound of Paddy's pipes. Suddenly up from the waves rose a woman with long, streaming hair the color of the sea. Her teeth were like pearls, her lips red as coral, her gown made of foam and rows of seaweed. The beauty danced up to Paddy and whispered to him: "Paddy Connor, I'm the lady who lives in the sea. "Come down with me, Paddy Connor, come and marry me." Paddy was enchanted by her bubbly voice. He danced closer and heard the maiden say: "King of the fish is what you'll be

mermaid

"If you come down and marry me." "No one plays pipes like you, my Paddy "Come into the sea, love, and marry me." Now Paddy loved the lady's poetry. He glowed as he listened to her compliments, while their feet kept moving. Fish surrounded them, and Paddy heard those clacking castanets, and he knew he didn't dare stop playing, for nobody knows what fish will do when they are angry. Besides, he loved this dancing, and he loved the lady's voice. He didn't want her ever to leave. "Marry me, Paddy the piper, come down to the sea. "You shall be king of the fishes, for you are meant for me, and I for thee."

castanets

When Paddy's mother saw him dancing with the green-haired lady, she called out: "Paddy, stop! Come back to your sweet old mother. Get away from that scaly lady!" But Paddy turned and called to his mother, "I'm going to marry her!" The poor old woman's heart began to pound as she imagined terrible things to come. What if they had a child? Then she would be a grandmother to a cod or a crab, and oh, heavens, what if she wound up eating her own dear grandchild? "Come back to your mother!" she cried, rushing forward, for by then Paddy had reached water's edge, and a great wave was rising. But, of course, Paddy could not see it. "Paddy, come back!" his mother cried, tears rolling down her cheeks. Now Paddy turned toward his mother's voice, for he didn't like to hear her so sad. "Mother, I'll be the king of the fish!" he cried.

merpeople

"Don't leave me, son. I fear for you!" "I'll be happy!" Paddy called, "and to prove I'm fine, I'll send a sign on the 12th of the month. I promise you that, Mother dear!" But Paddy never said another word because the green-haired lady saw the wave was about to swallow him, and so she covered him as if she were a great foaming cloak. The wave curled over, and they were gone. A moment later, the place was silent - the pipes had stopped - and everyone ceased dancing as they watched that big wave burst upon the strand. When it crashed upon the shore, the wave let out a roar so loud, everyone in County Kerry heard it. The next month, on the 12th day, a piece of burned wood rolled ashore beside Paddy's house, so all the villagers knew Paddy had kept his word, and he was fine. It was a strange thing to send as a sign to his mother, but for more than 100 years, on the 12th of each month, another piece of wood rolled ashore in that very same spot. After a while nobody paid much attention, and poor Paddy's mother did not live to see even that first sign of her son. You see, she was so afraid of eating her grandchild, she died right after the dance.

But seafarers tell tales of a sound they sometimes hear off Kerry's coast. When the night is still and the water calm, they hear the sound of pipes coming from the sea. They say they hear Paddy Connor's voice, too, singing of his love for his fair lady of the sea.

Sad story. I'm guessing she was a mermaid. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful week.