If you have a milkshake...and I have a milkshake...and I have a straw, there it is, that's a straw, see. Watch it. And my straw, reaches acroOoOoOoOoss the room, and starts to drink your milkshake...I. Drink. Your. Milkshake! *SluUuUuUrp* I DRINK IT UP!
Best scene from a movie. Ever. Of all time. I challenge you to find me a better scene. Don't even bother with The Godfather, it has nothing on There Will Be Blood.
That's just me though.
Ok, guys, let's get one thing straight. *fixes hair* There we go. All better.
Yes, lame joke, I know. My girlfriend is out of town, so I've been talking to my cat all week. Makes you go crazy, if you didn't know. Oh, and I guess it makes you lose your sense of humor(or humour for fellow Canadians).
Anyway, this week was interesting. I actually got my first 2 pieces of...I guess what you would call "fanmail", so that was nice. But more importantly, the first message I got was not only to compliment my blog, but he was mad at me as well. So simultaneously, I got fan mail and hate mail as my very first piece of mail. How many people can say that?
So I guess you're wondering how that's possible, well, I'll post the message for all to see (though I'll leave his username out):
Yeah. I didn't think it was possible either, but I guess you can't deny the proof.
Ok, let's get this show on the road.
Quote Number 1:
Thread: Despite the sales, I dont consider the wii a next gen console.
Topic: He gives his tired reasons why the Wii is not "next gen". Blah, blah, blah.
Why I like it: I thought this argument was dead. I guess I underestimated the stupidity of System Wars.
Also, The Rock was awesome. Brings back some memories of me throwing my brother through a wall...oh wait, I talked about that last week. Never mind.
Found By: Haziqonfire
Quote Number 2:
Thread: Oh No, Something Horrible Happened To My Wii And Myself
Topic: Jaysonguy created this thread to try to convince us that when the Wii's memory is full, the Wii will be fine...but your own well-being? That's a different story. Here's what he said:
"My Wii is still working the same but I HAVE noticed that my cereal got soggier faster today and Thursday I had a sore throat for about 2 hours" (He's basically mocking people who say that the Wii needs a HDD).
He then asked what else he should be on the lookout for. Some people gave him some tips.
Why I like it: I'm pretty sure this story is true (at least, in my head it is)....I didn't even know it was possible to slip on a banana peel. I think I even tried before when I was younger and it didn't work.
Hmm...better send this one off to Mythbusters.
Found By: SMR-Venom
Quote Number 3:
Thread: Sonic RPG not looking so hot?
Topic: That crazy Sonic. Why you all gettin' in RPGs now? Who do you think you are, Twelve-years-ago-Mario?
Anyway, this response pretty much sums up my feelings toward the game.
Why I like it: Yeah, but that'll never happen. Nascar has more pride than that.
...I spoke too soon.
Found By: BrunoBRS
Quote Number 4:
Thread: Actually, this one isn't a thread. As an (un)Offical Quotes of the Week! first, I'm taking this from a blog. That's right. I'm crazy like that. Anyway, the blog entry is Your Baby Is Not Special.
Topic: Another piece by Jaysonguy this week. That's 2 more than I can handle.
Actually, his blogs are usually great (well, sans his Brawl ones), and this one is no exception. It's pretty obvious what the blog is about; basically he says why your baby is not special, and then suggests what we should do to minimize the amount of bragging that annoying parents do (when they act like their baby is the best thing in the world). I reccommend reading it, if you haven't already. Click the link above to read it.
...but don't do that until after you're done reading this (4 times ;)).
This quote comes from one of the people who responded to his "solution" to the annoying parents.
Why I like it: Babies are tasty.
*Disclaimer: I don't recommend eating babies. I mean, I do when it's on the menu at a restaurant...but don't go out of your way to do it.*
Quote Number 5:
Thread: This applys to only those who truly know there music...
Topic: The TC asked who had more influence in the 80's (out of these 2 bands): The Pixies, or The Smiths. If you don't know who they are, you might not get this one. But if you've seen Fight Club, the song at the end was by The Pixies.
Anyway, there was this one guy who...well, just read it.
Why I like it: Other than the fact that The Cure, The Smiths, and The Pixies all had a HUGE impact on the music industry (Radiohead, Modest Mouse, Nirvana, all of current Punk and Emo music, and others say "hello"), I like the fact that he says "I've never even heard of those 2 bands. If no one listens to them how were they important?", suggesting that he represents everyone. "I AM GOD!!! I AM ALL KNOWING AND ALL POWERFUL!!! Oh, and I can tell what bands everyone likes, too."
Found by: creepy_mike
Quote Number 6:
Thread: What Wii Games Is Coming This Fall?
Why I like it: That's a good question, Lyphe2k. That's a good question indeed.
Maybe Elves started typing half way through (yeah, they need a smaller font. Weird, I know).
Maybe he had to go to the bathroom real quick and thought that by typing smaller he'd be done faster.
Or maybe he's just trying to hide the fact that he likes crappy games like Cruis'n. We'll never know.
Quote Number 7:
Thread: IGN reviews we ski
Topic: Eww, another Jaysonguy post? Well, at least I'm in it. :D I think that balances out to "just awesome enough".
Why I like it: Now, I don't know what Jaysonguy looks like, so I just use my imagination and pretend he's trying to type while waving his arms like one of those Wacky, waving, inflatable, arm-flailing tube-men. And it's hilarious.
Quote Number 8 (and like a million others):
Thread: Disappearing Wii Disc
Topic: This was a great thread. This guy claims that he dropped his Copy of Brawl, it rolled on the floor, and he and his 4 friends couldn't find it. Then, a few days later, he found it back in his Wii.
Now, this thread had little to do with the Wii itself, because what he wanted to know is how that could have happened. Time for some conspiracy theories!
Here's a bunch of the ones I liked.
^^That link obviously took you to the "You Got Owned" song.
^^That last one is a reference to DBZ (in case you've never seen the clip).
Why I like it: What did the TC really want us to say? Seriously, how the Hell would we know how it happened?
Well, I would know, seeing as I have that hidden cam...I mean, "surveillance" camera in his house.
What? His mom is hot!
Well, that's it for quotes this week. Thanks a lot to everyone who sent theirs in. Next week, I'll need your help even more, because I won't be here all week (as per usual). I can never have enough quotes.
In fact, if anyone here frequents the 360 or PS3 boards (or even the PC boards), please send me quotes from there. I'm sure they're funny guys, and I'd like to expand beyond the Wi, Off-topic, and SW forums.
And if you don't go on those boards, but maybe you know someone who does, send those guys on over. I like company. :)
Oh, but before we go, there's one more thing...
Last week, I wanted photoshops of the gymnast and the shaved cat.
I got some good ones, actually I got some great ones. One of them was so awesome that I had to censor part of it (you'll see later).
So here they are.
I'll start off with these 2 because, of course, you gotta have some C-Falc., baby!
Now, I'll be honest. I don't know if this is some internet joke, or what's going on here. But nevertheless, this one is just filled with awesome.
This next one comes with a video for reference. Watch it for some context to get the full extent of rolfy-goodness.
By: Master Saibot
Kenny calls this, "The Violent Scream of Food Poisoning". I call it art.
Now, this final one is probably my favorite. It's the one I had to censor, but it'll still be sweet without that...particular word.
Thanks to everyone who submitted. Great stuff.
This Week's Assignment:
I like conspiracy theories. I like them so much, in fact, that I want you to come up with your best one. It can be about whatever you want, as long as it somehow relates to this man, right here:
That's right, Jackyboy! I want any conspiracy theories you have about Jack Thompson, the protector of children, the keeper of decency, and the saviour of the video game industry!
Anway, you can write anything you want, anything at all. Maybe something about why he does what he does? Maybe someone controls him, but who? Maybe you could write about his dirty secret. It's up to you, but the longer, the better. I don't want no half-assed, 2 sentence story. I want the goods! Can you provide? PM me with a funny story.
So make sure to write me some stories, and don't forget to send me in any quotes you find on the boards.
Until next week,