I see it's been.. Erm.. Quite awhile. I think, that is, if anybody even remembers who I am or follows me anymore, it's safe to assume to not take my word on things and to assume I'll post here when I feel like it. Which.. Is not very often. I actually had to force myself to write this, I'm not going to lie.
There isn't much I do to do with games these days, I've become busy and interested in music, I'm trying to take the singing direction. I've sort of picked writing back up again as well, I'd like to continue working with it. Many things have changed since Christmas, I've become an entirely different person (don't worry, positive things still remain!) and I've gone through a lot. One, I'm no longer with that girl I spoke oh-so-fondly of awhile back. Some of you may remember her. Well, I'd like to forget her, but I won't. As a matter of fact, it's funny how quickly someone you love more than life itself can transition into someone you hate. I have a policy: I love anyone and absolutely everyone until an individual gives me a reason not to love them. My feelings for person Y that may be affiliated with person X will not change on person X's account, for I will still see love for person Y no matter of what person X has done to me. I'm very strict about that policy and see to it my very best that I never neglect it. This girl has become the only person in existance anywhere that I hate.
Hate is something I've always been told to be careful with, so I do see to it that I take very good care with it. It's like a hideous, wild beast that lives in a rusting cage inside of you; it claws, bites, mangles, twists, pulls, turns and mutilates you inside trying to get out and, for many, usually succeeds in its aggressive fits, compelling and opening that person up to the darkest and most putrid of feelings toward another that could ever exist. This very beast is why there's blood on the streets everyday all over the world.
Not to say that my personal hate for this being is a deadly one, which it isn't, I wouldn't touch her, but my reasoning is that other of morals but instead the simple fact that I want nothing to do with her. She's been swept away to the darkest and most shadowed corner of my heart and mind where nothing but fragments of our past will remain and she will be alone. She will never be blessed with the liberty that I am missing, longing for, loving, needing or feeling for. Instead, it's none but a bitter, chilling blade of ice cutting her over and over. All else that remains from me is a reminder to her that nobody has and probably ever will love her as much as I did, and her trechery immediately banished those feelings, inverting them instead.
Now, what matters to me most is that I love people. Many people. I am loved by these people. I have discovered a lot of things about myself, changed what I could to better that person and continue my journey of uncovering, discovery and improvement. As stated before, I'm taking a path where my singing will become a primary. Performing this act in front of others is my way of lifting my heart out and revealing what lies inside to all, to give others a chance to see differences in their own kind. We all are, after all, warm-blooded soft-tissue creatures. We are brethren to one-another.
And life goes on. I keep on loving and doing the best I can for all I can.