Vesica_Prime / Member

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Vesica_Prime Blog

Braaaaaaaains.

Yeah, I'm back. Sorry to the people dancing on my grave.

Anyway last time I left was because I was really stressed when I made the post, I was grinding my nose on a whetstone trying to revise all the maths I've learnt last year in order to prepare for this year which coincidentally is the last year of high school for me and will impact heavily on the university courses I can attend. In hindsight I'll say I made my comment on a self-imposed exile rather hastily.

So yeah, schoolwork all sorted out and refreshed. Going well etc.

Glad to be back.

I'm out

Not going to write a manifesto on why I'm leaving but generally I feel that the community has gotten even more obnoxious to the point where it isn't cute or anything.

Sure there was always trolls, sh*t posting and idiots but generally most had a decent level of intellect and could post a decent comment or debate decently. Even the trolls had a charm, a bit of wit, something that made getting mad all that much funnier.

The community now?

Discussions are absolutely boring with the same crap regurgitated so many times that every thread is utterly predictable and not worth discussing. Even the trolls have became less sophisticated and devolved into some sort of meta-ape, if I want sh*t-talking I'll just go to the certain 'image board,' hell even then the level of sophistication there far exceeds the level of brain deadness here.

If the Internet was a human centipede, the image board would be at the front and the community here would be at the back regurgitating 7 year old memes and dribbling banal crap at an astonishing rate.

Anyway ta, if anyone wants to add me on Steam to either keep in contact or tell me how much of a horrible person I am here it is.

http://steamcommunity.com/id/MordyK or otherwise look up Sánguine.

Dear Riot Games.

Please make the servers stable and run decently and not crash every 5 minutes, also please fix broken champions like Evelyn and Mordekaiser before you release more goddamn Teemo and Annie skins.

Thank you.

- A concerned citizen.

Well, the impossible happened.

On that day pigs flew, hell dropped to -40 Degrees Celcius, Australians ceased to compare knife sizes, Valve releases Half-Life 2: Episode 3, Blizzard released Warcraft IV to astondingly negative reviews and the Horde actually know what the hell to do in dungeons!

Okay, maybe not the last one but something that was thought to be impossible has happened.

I am now a Christian. A Baptist to be more precise.

hjhjh

There are not enough images of surprised monkeys on the Internet to demonstrate how confusing such a concept is.

Hey remember the last time I actually updated? WEBCOMICS PART 1.

Gasp! Vesica_Prime? Updating? BLOG?!

Someone quickly check outside to see if we've been conquered by seahorses or something because darn, there's actually activity beyond tumbleweed here! Now how am I going to try and segue myself out of this mess...? Oh I know! I tried to open up this blog post with humour! The thing I want to discuss is webcomics and one particular webcomic that I want to bring more attention to (in part 2, yeah I'm that lazy.)

Any who, let's get this blog post over and done with so I can lock myself up in a box for another year or so, so that I wouldn't need to update.

If you're new to the Internet or if you're on a self-imposed exile you probably wouldn't know what a webcomic, and personally I envy you. Most webcomics nowadays (apart from ones such as Cyanide and Happiness and Penny Arcade in my opinion) are horribly written and consists of the author insertion glorifying himself as a charismatic, daring, good with the ladies and could probably pull off a genocide that'll put Stalin and the great purge to shame and still be loved by everyone.

hjh

"You can tell by the look of his eyes that Stalin does not like being mentioned in a pretentious blogpost by a teenager."

An example that I'll be using to demonstrate this trend is Ctrl-Alt-Delete, a horrible webcomic that is poorly written, poorly edited, horribly drawn, it even commits the cardinal sin of not being funny (oh and if any Ctrl-Alt-Delete is reading this, you can send me hate-mail via the PM service.)

Poorly written? Poorly edited? Not even funny? (If you were thinking of this blogpost, congratulations! You're the 1,000,000th person to come up with such an epiphany!) I don't need to write an essay on this, but rather feel it is better to show the webcomic.

Can you spot the funny? Me neither. Makes me wonder how the hell can one vomit out ludicrous amounts of text without even being able to make a joke.

As for the art design? Here's how a typical Ctrl+Alt+Del comic is drawn.

Step 1: Google image a background to do with the game you're making a joke about (WoW, AC2, Halo 3 etc. etc.)

Step 2: BLUR IT UP.

Step 3: Place the same characters albeit in different clothes over and over again.

Step 4: Get gushing praise from fanboys praising your skills AZ AN ARRTIST!!!11

I'm not even joking when I say characters look the same, hell look at this image.

hjhjh

"Here we see the B^Uckley face, in all its hideous infamy."

And the author, oh dear God the author. The author is a complete egotistical maniac, who responds to any constructive criticism of his comic such as "the art design in this comic is rather bland and the characters look the same" or the straight to the point albeit truthful statement "could you make it suck less?" Is responded with outright hostility or with such phrases as "I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH MY COMIC", "I DON'T SEE YOU DOING ANYTHING BETTER", "YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE I GET MORE READERS." And other equally flawed arguments.

And of course controversy! Dear God, how can I leave this to the last minute? Seeing as there is enough controversy that involves Tim B^Uckley that it is simply too much for me to explain.

- Ripped off another artist's work

- Sent a cease and desist order to a highschool kid that was using a character in a fan film for school.

- Showed his penis to a underage girl (yes this actually did happen, for your phyisical and mental health please do not Google this)

- Acts like a prick in conventions, refusing to sign anything unless the line is big enough.

- Assaulted his friend's girlfriend for trying to get him to take out the trash while he was playing videogames.

Okay, I've rambled on enough. If you want to do some background reading or check out some lulzy photoshops of Ctrl-Alt-Del check out this SA thread dedicated to hating CAD.

Oh dear god it's back.

Once thought to have lost forever in the passages of time, a infamous battle was fought throughout the boards. Millions upon millions fought in a epic battle for their beliefs.

As the flame of the battlefield was fueled by the anger of the combatants, new soldiers joined in the side of their choice. The battle finished with a victor and many discontent people. It was hoped that such a battle shall never be repeated, however history has a habit of repeating itself as the gates open to reveal yet another battlefield....

THE 'ALL TIME GREATEST GAME VILLAIN' COMPETITION ARISES FROM THE DEPTH OF THE INTERNET.

Ok, ok. I'll stop being a drama queen. Anyway last time such a competition was held, Gordon Freeman of Half-Life fame won the last competition and the board erupted in a massive tantrum which I have to admit was amusing.

Anyway before I get sidetracked even more, I'll just post who I want to win.

ghgh

-"Why do people insist on creating things that will inevitably be destroyed? Why do people cling to life knowing that they must someday die? Knowing that none of it will have meant anything once they do?"