So, now on the eve of GTA V (which I actually won't pick up until Thursday due to financial concerns) I now reveal a recent glut of acquisitions. I, like some gluttonous whore of gaming, have gorged myself on both cheap used games as well as an online spending spree. While some of these were, understandably, a bust others have been stunningly surprising. Here's the rundown:
- What? It was 3 bucks... THREE DOLLARS. Ok, you're right... I feel cheated. Gamespot gave Lair a 4.5. I felt sorry for it and granted it a 5.0. Yeah, it was a PS3 launch title back in 2007, but it is what amounts to a poor air combat simulator with dragons, sixaxis controls, and not a whole lot more. Epic idea, epic still shots, epic failure. I suppose it's workable, not evidently broken on first glance... that's why I give it a bone average rating, but there's nothing to see here. Move along.
Bit Trip Runner 2
- Plus granted me Bit Trip Runner 2. It's a Flash game... on PS3. Look, in full disclosure I vehemently dislike abstracts. So a game like this is NOT up my alley. This little black alien who can sh*t rainbows if you do well enough runs. THE END. 4.5
- Next up is Guacamelee; a side-scrolling beat-em-up with a Mexican luchador storyline. This was a freebie thanks to a buddy who has it on Vita and isn't taking advantage of his cross buy. I don't get the charm that everyone speaks of so all I can base it on is its pretty art style and its 'meh' action. Guaca-meh-lee. 6.5
Resident Evil: Chronicles HD Collection
- Another Plus freebie. This is an on-the-rails shooter so I thought that maybe, just maybe, that useless plastic gun attachment I have for the Move could be useful. Wrong. As a motion controlled House of the Dead-like shooter this game is BROKEN. It is impossibly hard to kill zombies in this game. Maybe the Wii version worked better? I have no clue but I know this was deleted almost immediately. 2.5
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon
- Now we're getting to the good stuff. I bought this bundled with Call of Juarez: Gunslinger for 25 bucks. When I finished Far Cry 3 I was spent. Just tired of it. I happily traded it despite the fact that it was a hella-fun excellent game. I was not interested in Blood Dragon at first but once I got this and started it I was immediately amused. As a child of the 80s this type of mockery is both nostalgic and hilarious. Perfectly voiced by Michael Biehn this game's campy nature is, IS the Duke Nukem of the modern age. 8.0
Call of Juarez: Gunslinger
- The demo alluded to just how great this game was and the full version just confirms that. Gunslinger is a breath of fresh air in a market polluted by FPS crap shoots. Easily as educational as it is entertaining this is the redeeming moment for the flagging Call of Juarez series. Make more like this, Techland, and people will start to remember your name. In addition to the story mode, excellently told as a first person recollection, there's the arcade mode for when you just wanna kill tons of bad guys and the EXCELLENT Duels. Right now I get smoked in Duel mode but I'm not giving up! It's a helluva challenge but very fun. 8.5
- You know, I generally shudder at 'Retro Games.' I mean, I lived through gaming's infancy and just like Thundarr the Barbarian, G.I. Joe, and Speed Racer it hurts to go back. Leave those good memories intact! This is NOT the case with Spelunky! I'm fairly sure if you look up Spelunky in the dictionary it is revealed as a synonym for Addiction. With randomly generated levels and an unforgiving difficulty this game is practically the most replayable game I've seen since Civilization. I liked the free copy I received on PS3 so much I BOUGHT Spelunky just so I could have it on my Vita as well. It feels weird to say it; but I consider this a contender for Game of the Year. Is that wrong? Maybe, but it feels soooooo right. 7.5
The real translation is: "You aren't fit to mate with that little radish." True story.
- Last week I was VERY impressed with Dragon's Crown. Now I realize that Dragon's Crown, awesome as it is, is a step back for Vanillaware. I almost kept my Wii only to play this game (I sold it just before Muramasa came out) but, honestly, I'm glad I waited. On that big, beautiful OLED screen this game SHINES. People say it's repetitive; but I find it too fun to care about that. People say there's not a big enough difference between how the characters play; well a 4 character DLC coming up will change that! In every way Muramasa is fun. In every way Muramasa is beautiful. Dragon's Crown may rock the house in 4 player gameplay but there's just more in Muramasa. Simple, yet undeniably attractive with a powerful ability to draw you in for hours. The Vita needs games like this, and Vita owners need Muramasa. I give Muramasa: Rebirth a 9.0. Now I have to get off this site and get back to my Vita... Muramasa is waiting.