Ok, back to the sign. I hate that sign. Well, not necessarily the sign itself, which is sturdily built and conveys it's message in a crisp, clear large point, easily readable font. My personal vendetta is against the message conveyed on said sign. It is in my expert opinion that the revolving doors on campus are evil. Why, you ask, do I have such a hate on for these circular contraptions? Come along folks, on a journey back in time.
It is September 2007, the leaves are slowing browning and a young Scott Adair is eagerly awaiting his first ever college lecture. Typing in third person sucks, so I'm going to stop it right there. So there I am, squinting to read my schedule that I hastily jotted on the back of my hand when I see it: The revolving door to the main building. I think to myself 'Heck, I'll try anything once' and I join the queue. I get excited as I realize it is now my turn to plunge into this unknown world. Immediately upon entry, I know something is wrong. Time slows down and I realize that I inside this small area of space with another person: A guy no less. My heart pounds and my breathing slows. I shuffle my feet to avoid touching this man as well as to avoid getting hit in the ass with the door. I end up doing both. The door behind nudges me forward, I recoil and immediately hit the guy's ass with my binder. The only redeeming part of this is that the guy did not turn around, for which I am immensely grateful. Needless to say, I got right the heck out of there.
That's not all folks. On the exact same day, right after my **** I meet the same revolving door. **** is the first thing that springs to my head. I'm not letting this thing win. There was no queue this time. Double checking for people ahead of me, I thrust myself bravely into the door's darkest reaches. Halfway through my journey, I had a single thought: Hmm, not so tough now are ya door? The door heard me. I realized only too late that the door is not automatic. The door stopped moving. I didn't. My head bounced against the glass ahead of me with a resounding crack. Thwarted by the same door twice in the same day, I ran for it.
Now you know why I hate that sign.