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Thomas-Crown Blog

An Airline with a sense of humor

See the comments of flight attendants and crew listed below.

Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously.

Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg. Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want)

passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced,

"People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"


On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said,

"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the

cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings..

If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone
voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo, a flight attendant on

a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after

a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

" Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth. To operate your

seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and
pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't
know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend
from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your
face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask
before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one
small child, pick your favourite."

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but
we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember,
nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."


As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."

And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that

we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on

the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell

you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying

with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through

the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."

Heard on a Kulula flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section

on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

A plane was taking off from Durban Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising

altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and

gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop

from Durban to Cape Town, the weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a

smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOODNESS!" Silence
followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said,

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you,

the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see

the front of my pants!" A passenger then yelled, "That's nothing.. You should see the back of mine!"

Thanks for reading, Tom.

Happy Holidays!

Joyeuses Fêtes!


أعيادا سعيدة!

С праздником!

हैप्पी छुट्टियाँ!

Laethanta Saoire Happy!

Wesołych Świąt!


Bayramınız Kutlu Olsun!

Gwyliau Hapus!

גליקלעך האָלידייַס

أعيادا سعيدة

Hezké prázdniny

Happy Hollidays

No matter how you say it have a great one around the world!


Cooking Mama (I am still alive)!

It was such a long time ago since my last blog and for my regular readers, sorry and nope, I am not dead, I am still quite active but just in unions. Anyway, this is just a quick to blog to say I am still here and well, I will try to be more active by reading and commenting on your blogs. :D

Now, here are a few photos of me attempting to cook something. lol :P

Me cooking but wasn't going too well and my GF and my little cousin had to come to my aid. :P

Well, the food doesn't look too bad, right? :P

Finally, let us eat. Please ignore my uncle's reaction, nothing to do with the food, honestly. :P

Well, thanks for reading and until next time.


From Hong Kong with love...

On the 6th, dear old Tom celebrated his birthday in Hong Kong. Why Hong Kong? Well, since a family member was getting married during that week in Hong Kong, my family decided to make a visit. Getting some time off work was not to the liking of my boss but eventually, he understood and gave me a few days off. :P

Here are a few photos of my birthday and short time in Hong Kong. :D

Beginning of the day with some fine Japanese Noodles. Blue shirt is me and next to me, my lovely GF.

Main Event... Massive dinner. :P

Next morning, a massive Breakfast before I head off to the airport. lol :P Gained a few pounds whichwhy I wasn't in the photo, too embarrassed. Only joking:P

Thanks for reading and until next time.

Tom. :P

White Blood!?

Well, I know the title is weird but you'll understand once you read the rules and question 22. :P

Anyway, don't be alarm, I am still sane... This is just another Tagging blog. Yeah, tagging is backand I've been tagged by my good friend, synyster-666.

Now, here we go!


You've been tagged, here are the rules:

1. Put Your iTunes (or other music player) on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Tag at least 10 friends.
6. Anyone tagged has to do the same, because fun pointlessness spreads like a virus.

Lets go, mang.


1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say

"Antrozous" By Han Zimmer & James Newton Howard

2. How would you describe yourself?

"Only Love" by Trade Mark

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?

"Rather Lovely Tihing" by Nick Cave & Warren Ellis

4. How do you feel today?

"Moving On" by Nick Cave & Warren Ellis

5. What is your life's purpose?

"Polonaise" by Shigeru Umebayashi (lol)

6. What is your motto?

"Shall We Talk" by Eason Chan

7. What do your friends think of you?

"Twilight Sniping" by Norihiko Hibino

8. What do you think of your parents?

"Destined For Great Things" by Nick Cave (OMG)

9. What do you think about very often?

"Discombobulate" by Han Zimmer

10. What is 2 + 2?

"What Happens next" by Nick Cave & Warren Ellis

11. What do you think of your best friend?

"Adagio" by Secret Garden. Featuring David Agnew (Cor Anglais)

12. What do you think of the person you like?

"At Seventeen" by Janis Ian (WTF)

13. What is your life story?

"During the Journey to theHospital" By Eason Chan (This is scaring me now)

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?

"Reminiscence" by Norihiko Hibino (interesting)

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?

"Will the Virus Still Work?" by Norihiko Hibino (LOL)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?

"17 degree" by Kay Tse (oh, I love that song) :P

17. What will they play at your funeral?

"SWAY" by Dean Martin (LOL)

18. What is your hobby/interest?

"Haven Troppers" by Nobuko Toda, Shuichi Kobori and Kazuma Jinnouchi

19. What is your biggest fear?

"Love Is A Mystery" by Eason Chan

20. What is your biggest secret?

"Red Roses" by Eason Chan (Mmm...)

21. What do you think of your friends?

"The World Is Not Enough" by Garbage (lol)

22. What will you put as the title?

"White Blood" by Harry Gregson-Williams (WHAT?)


Oh, just to end the blog with... Finally, I am level 50! :P

Thanks for reading and until next time.

Thomas :P

Get ready to be incepted!


Christopher Nolan's latest MASTERPIECE!

Words cannot explain how special this film is.

Go, watch it. Be hypnotised by this amazing film.

Your mind is the scene of the crime.


I got Married!

Yeah! Surprise, everyone. lol :P

Only Joking... I suppose. Is a funny story, it was a real wedding (My friend's wedding) but my GF surprised me and wore a wedding dress! Almost had a heart attack! A joke they thought to get back at me! LOL... Then all my friends urged me to mock-marry her. I did have a heart attack! lol... Still, I love her and eventually I will marry her so, I went with it. Boy! What a day. lol :P

Well, now you all know whatI look like. :P