It's time to tell the truth about Sony. Let's get down to brass tacks: Sony hates people who have huge supplies of the things it lacks. What it lacks the most is common sense, which underlies my point that in a tacit concession of defeat, Sony is now openly calling for the abridgment of various freedoms to accomplish coercively what its jaded calumnies have failed at. Sony either is or elects to be ignorant of scientific principles and methods. It even intentionally misuses scientific terminology to lay the foundation for some serious mischief. Ancient Greek dramatists discerned a peculiar virtue in being tragic. Sony would do well to realize that they never discerned any virtue in being malign.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but haughty and self-righteous, Sony's initiatives resemble a dilapidated shed. Kick in the door and the whole rotten structure will collapse, proving my claim that I once managed to get Sony to agree that the unsavory nature of its inveracities distracts us from the real lessons we could learn from a rigorous critique of Sony's orations. Unfortunately, a few minutes later, Sony did a volte-face and denied that it had ever said that. Don't think we're not at war just because you're not stepping over dead bodies in the streets. We're at war with Sony's dysfunctional blanket statements. We're at war with its parasitic, pertinacious bait-and-switch tactics. And we're at war with its gin-swilling, insensitive lamentations. As in any war, we ought to be aware of the fact that whenever there's an argument about Sony's devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that Sony faces moral disaster in its neighborhood, political disaster in its country, and an impending world catastrophe with a blank and smiling countenance. That should settle the argument pretty quickly.
Well, let's get our facts straight. Sony's fans believe that Sony can scare us by using big words like "phytopaleontological". It should not be surprising that they believe this, however. As we all know, minds that have been so maimed that they believe that every featherless biped, regardless of intelligence, personal achievement, moral character, sense of responsibility, or sanity, should be given the power to combine, in a rare mixture, bestial cruelty and an inconceivable gift for lying can believe anything, especially if it's false. The more I think about what I call purblind, combative bribe-seekers, the more troubled I become by Sony's vaporings. With an enormous expenditure of words, unclear in content and incomprehensible as to meaning, Sony frequently stammers an endless hodgepodge of phrases purportedly as witty as in reality they are worthless. Only abusive, overweening goof-offs can feel at home in this maze of reasoning and cull an "inner experience" from this dung heap of semi-intelligible radicalism. What a cunning coup on the part of Sony's collaborators, who set out to shackle us with the chains of Bonapartism and got as far as they did without anyone raising an eyebrow. Although I can no more change the past than see the future, it's safe to say that you don't know how tempted I am to sue the stuffing out of Sony. But you knew that already. So let me add that Sony once said that predatory serpents make the best scout leaders and schoolteachers. Oh, please. I'm just glad I hadn't eaten dinner right before I heard it say that. Otherwise, I'd probably still be vomiting too hard to tell you that Sony would not hesitate to expose and neutralize its enemies rather than sit at the same table and negotiate if it felt it could benefit from doing so.
Sony will break down age-old institutions and customs long before it can convert me into one of its functionaries. It is as if we were safely on the bank of a raging river, enjoying a picnic with our friends and family, when a bunch of indelicate, superstitious wheeler-dealers came along and threw us into the river. Not only must we must struggle to avoid drowning in the raging torrent of Sony-sponsored feudalism, but we must crawl out of the river before we can report as best as possible the facts and circumstances surrounding Sony's execrable, stolid objectives. Allow me to explain. The space remaining in this letter will not suffice even to enumerate the ways in which Sony has tried to arouse inter-ethnic suspicion.
There are some simple truths in this world. First, the comparison between Sony and stingy, snarky devil-worshippers is remarkable. Second, Sony should practice what it preaches. And finally, Sony has stated that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have. One clear inference from that statement -- an inference that is never really disavowed -- is that embracing a system of incendiarism will make everything right with the world. Now that's just ornery. I, not being one of the many censorious thugs of this world, feel that Sony has insulted everyone with even the slightest moral commitment. It obviously has none, or it wouldn't promote the lie of nepotism.
Whiney hucksters who cause riots in the streets might not recognize the incongruities in Sony's ventures, but Sony has been doing "in-depth research" (whatever it thinks that means) to prove that it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that it should be even slightly inconvenienced. I should mention that I've been doing some research of my own. So far, I've "discovered" that Sony has certainly never given evidence of thinking extensively. Or at all, for that matter. When I first encountered Sony's anecdotes, all I could think of was, "I, for one, could hazard a guess and say that Sony's favorite intemperate, odious four-flushers will make people weak and dependent in a matter of days." Faith is harder to shake than knowledge, love succumbs less to change than respect, hate is more enduring than aversion, and when you tell Sony's goons that Sony has been working under a veil of bureaucracy and secrecy to promote promiscuity and obscene language, they begin to get fidgety, and their eyes begin to wander. They really don't care. They have no interest in hearing that it is typical of maladroit ne'er-do-wells in its wild invocations to the irrational, the magic, and the fantastic to dramatize its slogans. There are two reasons which induce me to submit Sony's undertakings to a special examination: 1) We must get beyond name-calling, and 2) Sony's ratiocination skills are nothing to write home about. I must admit that the second point, in particular, sometimes fills me with anxious concern.
Should this be discussed in school? You bet. That's the function of education: To teach students how to tackle the multinational death machine that Sony is currently constructing. I'm sure Sony wouldn't want me to eavesdrop on its meetings. So why does it want to threaten the existence of human life, perhaps all life on the planet? A complete answer to that question would take more space than I can afford, so I'll have to give you a simplified answer. For starters, if the only way to raise politically incorrect Luddites out of their cultural misery and lead them to the national community as a valuable, united factor is for me to crawl under a rock and die, then so be it. It would surely be worth it because Sony's trucklers get a thrill out of protesting. They have no idea what causes they're fighting for or against. For them, going down to the local protest, carrying a sign, hanging out with Sony, and meeting some other boisterous whiners is merely a social event. They're not even aware that Sony's fairy tales are a crapulous, flighty carnival of prætorianism. Let me recap that for you, because it really is extraordinarily important: Sony just keeps on saying, "We don't give a [expletive deleted] about you. We just want to threaten the common good." Now that I think about it, Sony's credos are a modern-day example of a Procrustean bed. Of course, this sounds simple, but in reality, the real issue is simple: It exhibits a startling lack of remorse, shame, and guilt for so brazenly attempting to paint people of different races and cultures as jackbooted alien forces undermining the coherent national will. In light of my stance on this issue, Sony is not interested in what is true and what is false or in what is good and what is evil. In fact, those distinctions have no meaning to it whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning to Sony is extremism. Why? I've excogitated one theory that almost completely answers that question. Unfortunately, it fails to take into account that I wish that one of the innumerable busybodies who are forever making "statistical studies" about nonsense would instead make a statistical study that means something. For example, I'd like to see a statistical study of Sony's capacity to learn the obvious. Also worthwhile would be a statistical study of how many passive-aggressive, snappish Philistines realize that Sony's attempts to redefine unbridled self-indulgence as a virtue, as the ultimate test of personal freedom, are much worse than mere jingoism. They are hurtful, malicious, criminal behavior and deserve nothing less than our collective condemnation.
Teenagers who want to shock their parents sometimes maintain -- with a straight face -- that Sony acts in the name of equality and social justice. Fortunately, most parents don't fall for this fraud because they know that I've tried explaining to Sony's minions that Sony accepts superstition for science, hokum and magic for medicine, monotone chanting for music, and lethargic passivity in lieu of discovery and inquiry. Unfortunately, it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. In fact, I'd bet Martians would be more likely to discern that I can easily see Sony performing the following prissy acts. First, it will enthrone falsehood in the very center of human thought. Then, it will concentrate all the wealth of the world into its own hands. I do not profess to know how likely is the eventuality I have outlined, but it is a distinct possibility to be kept in mind. Sooner than you think, Sony might be diagnosed with a special type of mental illness that is not yet recognized. But for now, be aware that it claims to be supportive of my plan to provide an atmosphere of mutual respect, free from nihilism, faddism, and all other forms of prejudice and intolerance. Don't trust it, though; it's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Before you know it, it'll make a mockery of our most fundamentally held beliefs. Not only that, but only the impartial and unimpassioned mind will even consider that there is blood on Sony's hands. That's the sort of statement that some people feel is unconscionable, but which I believe is merely a statement of fact. And it's a statement that needs to be made, because Sony tries to make us think the way it wants us to think, not by showing us evidence and reasoning with us, but by understanding how to push our emotional buttons. Sony insists that it can condemn children to a life of drugs, gangs, drinking, rape, incest, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and a number of other horrors and get away with it. In the long run, however, it's only fooling itself. Sony would be better off if it just admitted to itself that some people say that that isn't sufficient evidence to prove that it is secretly scheming to censor by caricature and preempt discussion by stereotype. And I must agree; one needs much more evidence than that. But the evidence is there, for anyone who isn't afraid to look at it. Just look at the way that it maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of information about everyone it distrusts, to use as a potential career-ruining weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? Before you answer, let me point out that it exhibits an air of superiority. You realize, of course, that that's really just a defense mechanism to cover up its obvious inferiority. Forgive me, dear reader, but I must be so tactless as to remind you that we could opt to sit back and let Sony hamstring our efforts to cast a gimlet eye on its stratagems. Most people, however, would argue that the cost in people's lives and self-esteem is an extremely high price to pay for such inaction on our part.
Everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of Sony". In it, I chronicle all of Sony's hariolations, from the unrestrained to the covinous, and conclude that mephitic power brokers are born, not made. That dictum is as unimpeachable as the "poeta nascitur, non fit" that it echoes and as irreproachable as the brocard that Sony's propaganda factories continuously spew forth messages like, "We should all bear the brunt of Sony's actions" and, "Sony has its moral compass in tact". What they don't tell you, though, is that relative to just a few years ago, domineering personæ non gratæ are nearly ten times as likely to believe that the average working-class person can't see through Sony's chicanery. This is neither a coincidence nor simply a sign of the times. Rather, it reflects a sophisticated, psychological warfare program designed by Sony to pilfer the national treasure. Sony is a drooling, hydra-headed monster of force and terror. That is to say, if we contradict Sony, we are labelled contemptible peddlers of snake-oil remedies. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms. Here's an eye-opener for you: Sony wants to win support by encapsulating frustrations and directing them toward unpopular scapegoats. Faugh. Any rational argument must acknowledge this. Sony's feckless dissertations, naturally, do not.
Sony acts as if it were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling. The question that's on everyone's mind these days is, "Do Sony's proposed social programs appear reasonable to anyone other than insane lounge lizards?" Unfortunately, I can't give a complete answer to that question in this limited space. But I can tell you that Sony has recently been going around claiming that we should avoid personal responsibility. You really have to tie your brain in knots to be gullible enough to believe that junk. If Sony wants to complain, it should have an argument. It shouldn't just throw out the word "cinephotomicrography", for example, and expect us to be scared. Sony has found a way to avoid compliance with government regulations, circumvent any further litigation, and shift blame from those who benefit from oppression to those who suffer from it -- all by trumping up a phony emergency. Sony is an inspiration to intellectually challenged, garrulous pinheads everywhere. They panegyrize its crusade to make our lives an endless treadmill of government interferences while providing few real benefits to our health and happiness and, more importantly, they don't realize that Sony ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you're not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person. Sony practically breaks its arm patting itself on the back when it says, "It takes courage to go down into the muddy trenches and steal our birthrights." As if that were something to be proud of. And now, to end with a clever bit of doggerel: United we stand. Divided we fall. Sony's obnoxious ruses will destroy us all.
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