THE_DRUGGIE / Member

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I Just Hit the Motherload (of crappy fanfics)

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Hey, remember that blog post I had a while back about that one horrible fanfic based off the Metroid universe that featured Samus and Ridley...well, I'm not going to go in-depth about that. Anywho, I did some browsing around TVtropes and found something you will despise me for showing you:

Click if you dare

Did you click it? If you didn't, go right ahead and do it.

Come on.

Do it.

The link's right up there, why not click it?

Did you click it yet?

Well, if you did then you would know that the link leads to a collection of some of the most depraved and horribly written fanfics in existence. Seriously, the one about Samus and Ridley is like A Tale of Two Cities in comparison to these abominations. If you don't want to go through all of those and find out which one is the most horrible, I'll save you the trouble and tell you the title of the most morally desolate story I've read in my entire life:

Chibi Usa's 7th Birthday.

...Even typing that title out makes me cringe. I definitely can't copy and paste something this depraved here, so look through the page and find it if you dare. There's plenty of warnings leading up to the story so, in all honesty, it's your own fault if you read it. Still, be warned: you won't forget it any time soon.

I guess I could attach a few warnings of my own in the form of a review of the story, so here we go:

Chibi Usa's 7th Birthday is something that only the mind of a machine could produce. I am thouroughly convinced that, through all the mind-numbing stupidity, reality-defying acts of depravity, and awful storytelling, no human being could have written this. Apparently, given the graphic nature of the story, this was meant to be appealing to somebody...though I think the target audience for this type of literature is too busy living in a maximum security prison to read it, let alone get Internet access.

Pointing out the obvious flaw of the entire affair being rusty nail-eating disturbing, there's too many flaws in the story to warrant it being nothing mroe than a product of a person who has the grammatical prose of a 4-year-old (which makes it all the more disturbing given the content of the work). Events happen out of the blue, the characters act absolutely nothing like how they did in their show (Sailor Moon), and the entire thing shouldn't even be cIassified as fanfiction given how much is changed all across the board. The scenario is (obviously) impossible and the author demonstrates absolutely zero knowledge in human anatomy. Absolutely nothing in this story can be praised beyond the fact that, after reading it, the reader will know what is at the bottom of the fanfiction barrel.

This story is stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. If the story became a human being, it would put its own pants on its head and somehow wind up setting itself on fire (much to the benefit of humanity). I could feel my brain cells crying in agony as the words came together to form this awful piece of pig ****. Don't read it. Don't. DON'T READ THIS BLIGHT ON THE INTERNET!

...Too bad you'll read it out of curiosity.

I will now schedule another appointment with my therapist.

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