Well, it has been a while, but I fancied doing some writing away from the usual stuff I do, it gets the fingers typing and the brain moving.
So recently my mind has been plagued much like the city of Dunwall, but with an ever present sense of anxiety kind of plague not the actual 'I'm going to make pustuals bleed until your fevered brow can take no more and you die a horrible death' plague.
So what, you may be asking, has caused this? You didn't ask? Oh, well I'm going to tell you anyway.
Well there is a couple of things causing this. One of them is the 'always on' voice in the back of my head screaming "you're still not a proper journalist!" as if the latter part of my mind has been over run by that **** in the back of class at school who insisted in taking my lunch money every day for two years. The other is that the search to once and for all prove this 'back of the mind bully' wrong is taking up all my time, and therefore I'm getting absolutely no gaming done.
I think we can all agree this sucks. So what is a person to do?
There is one option, let that back of the mind bully win. Yes it would mean the next month or so would be feelings of failure and the inevitable "I told you so" from Mr know it all back there. But I'd have more time to play games and get on top of everything again. But I started doing this because I wanted to, so it makes no sense to quit when I've put time and money into it. Plus I still want to prove you know who wrong.
Another possible option is to simply not write or search for opportunity again until I've completed at least one game. This sounds great, but with only a small gathering of followers it would seem that any time away from persistantly shouting "LISTEN TO ME PRETTY PLEASE BECAUSE I CAN WRITE STUFF" would mean that I'd be effectively throwing all that previous work to the porcelain gods still like scenario one.
There are other things I've tried but it seems like I've tried everything, I'm not sure if there is something I'm missing or not at this point, hence the reason for this blog post. Who knows? Maybe I'm already mad and Gamespot is simply a figment of my imagination. For all I know I could be sedated in a mental asylum tripping out of my eyeballs on just about every suppressant known to man.
Either way this has been two birds with one stone, a nice writing excersise and a brilliant chance for me to show you all just how crazy I am confirming your original suspicions. Until next time folks! Now where is my doctor? Those suppressants won't take themselves!