IT'S A TRAP suckaz.
I'll get this out of the way. I am a pretty big Star Wars fan. Not the ultra fan that can tell you the serial numbers of the weapons on the movies like some (pretty scary huh), just a normal person who thinks Han Solo is the sh!zzle. (wow gamespot really??) Shadows of the Empire was taken from the popular book of the same name. I highly recommend this book if you are a Star Wars fan. It takes place between episodes 5 and 6 and was written before Lucas decided to toy with our emotions. In fact, as with many of the SW novels, it isn't written by Lucas at all. I won't give away anything here though. The game doesn't really follow the book all that much anyway.
I remember when this game came out back in '96 I was stoked as hell. The only Star Wars games I had remembered playing before were the super nintendo titles. I owned The Empire Strikes Back for the snes and loved it.
I still remember the very first time I played it. The game opened up during the battle of Hoth and I was just blown away at how awesome it was! I freaked out on the fact that you could fly under the AT-AT's unlike the snes ESB I had. I played this game a lot for the next year on and off. It had its hit and misses but I still enjoyed it a lot.
It has ten stages that you could select at any time once beaten. You play as Dash Rendar, a little known character that was briefly mentioned in the book. He reminds me of a younger Kevin Costner. lol There are also four difficulty levels and challenge points which are actually rebel insignia tokens scattered throughout each level for you to find and collect. Grabbing them all gives you bonuses once the game is beaten. The sound isn't all that great aside from the great soundtrack which of course is the music of Star Wars. The effects are a bit meh and it sounds pretty damn funny when Dash takes damage cause his scream is just weirdly harsh. Actually makes you want to avoid damage even more so you don't have to hear that gut-wrenching scream. Graphic-wise it isn't terrible for it's time and there's plenty of that "sixty-four fog" (yeah I just made that up) like any other N64 game. lol
With all of that out of the way it's time for Plumma to take you on a run through the game with his own special interpretation. ;) I've been playing it recently so it's fresh in my mind. w00tz
Hey Dash can you stop at Burger King on the otherside of Yavin?
First level here we goooooo!!
Yay I get to fly a snowspeeder! These things are awesome!! :D I jump in and strap up and fly out to kick some Imperial ass and all I see is some crappy droids bouncing up and down like they're happy to see us. :| Damn near wanna call on the radio and say "screw you guys I'm goin home" cause this just aint enough for me. You know how Plumma is; he likes action and a whole helluva lot of it too. They tell me I get a cookie if I stick around so I stuck it out and proceeded to kick some mechanical butt. After destroying a few droids I start to see something in the distance then Luke radio's in that we've got some AT-ST's now and I get a bit more excited. Bigger crap to blow up! :D
Boom! One down and then the other turns and starts firing at me as my wingman zip in and out of my fire zone and get pissed at me for pecking at their shields… freakin idiots… GOSH! Next thing I know there's some AT-AT's looking at me like I stole their color tv's or something. I fly through a barrage of red lines which is supposed to be laser fire and I shoot at the AT-AT and find that I ain't doin much. Luke radio's back in and says to try and use the tow cables and trip em up. After a bit of "wtf are you smoking" I turn and look over my shoulder and there's Dash snoring in the back. Grumbling I elbow the seat and he jumps up half asleep and blurts out "I hate you Jar Jar".
I tell him to get his lazy ass to work as I fly straight at the AT-AT then it turns and starts firing at me. It is really freakin scary when that thing is staring at you… I circle around for a long approach and I'm getting perfectly lined up… wait what the hell?? RETURN TO BATTLE pops up and screws up my flight plan… why in the heckamadoodle would Plumma try to do a thing like that?? He was promised cookies, he aint goin nowhere!! ggrrr So I reset a course and weave and bob a bit between fire and slip in underneath the machine between it's legs cause I'm cool (and straight mind you) and then fly a tight circle around his legs as Dash fires off the tow cable. A few turns later the AT-AT falls and crumples to the ground and I feel like I am the baddest ass in a galaxy that's far far away.
Wait WHAT?? They got the damn shield generator anyway?? But I did so good… :( Oh it happens in the movie you say? So it wasn't my fault then right? Ah okay that's cool.
That got me hyped up!!
Next level we've got to escape Echo Base and get to our ship. Okay so I have to evacuate the place since the empire has decided they wanted a winter retreat home. Hey lookie it's the Millenium Falcon!! *waves as it streaks out of the hangar* Well **** you too Solo. >_> Lemme just run around and shoot white guys and figure this out on my own I guess. Aww look da cute wampas *hears roar* K I take that back… man these things really scare the hell out of me. They have that 'gangsta' walk and look so creepy walking towards you… *walks around a bit more* Hmm this hallway looks weird. OMG its splitting apartz!! Run Run Run!!! Damn that was close dawg…
Guess things should cool down from here eh? Oh wait nah there's a freakin AT-ST waiting for me. Go figure. *blows it up with anger and hate* Now hey look it's my ship. :D *jumps in and takes off* Phew glad that's over now I can rela- *ship shudders from laser fire*
This is one of my favorite levels. First of all the music kicks ass cause it's Star Wars and I get to shoot tie fighters with the gun turret just like in the movie. Just don't get cocky now mkay. ZOMG look it's a star destroyer… pedal faster!! We're flying through asteroids and crap with tie fighters blasting at us and screeching the sky up. (Is it just me or wouldn't it be awesome to have your car or truck sound like a tie fighter?) Great now we have tie bombers here shooting green looking bugger bombs at us or something. >_> Basically you shoot a set number of fighters and bombers and then the level ends. It's awesome.
A freakin' STAR DESTROYER!?!?!? :o I jost bought this officially licensed reproduction Lando cape man...
With a level as cool as the asteroid stage the next should be so badass right? Wrong. A junkyard? On a hovertrain? *shakes head* I've had it with these mutha ******* droids on this mutha ******* train!! This is probably many people's least favorite level. You have to duck, jump, duck, jump, move a little and repeat while you're on this flat hovertrain taking a tour through the empires junkyard which has everything from AT-AT's to transports, sandcrawlers and even a star destroyer. Probably crap Plumma blew up during his previous space adventures. Damn that's some scrap metal. Oh but it tells you not to jump to other cars when there's a sharp turn. Thank you captain obvious! This level would be a good wii fit stage. With all the jumping and ducking you do to clear obstacles it could get anyone into shape. So I'm going along making my way up the train taking out aliens like it's the wild west and I'm robbing the damn train lookin for mah cookies.
My droid comes on and tells me I need to jump to the next train and I do that and do it well. Then he advises I take cover and brace myself for impact so I jump down and prepare for a collision and then boom… It appears I've blown up and died. WHAT?? Oh nevermind it's just a retarded way to end a stage… Lemme see what do I do here OH HEY IG-88. How's it hangin? *dodges laser fire* Oh you didn't like that one huh? *runs around and takes him out with extreme prejudice* That's all there is to that.
With some info from IG-88 I fly over to the imperial spaceport known as Gall. This level is huge and very high in the canyons. After destroying more droids and kicking stormtroopers off the ledges for amusement I run into a cave only to meet face to face with… a freakin BROWN WAMPA and he's just as pissy as the white ones. Damn these things scare the crap out of me. I run out with my arms flying and get to the next part catching rides on hovercars and traversing narrow ledges where one trip could mean DEATH. I make my way into a small hangar bay and tower where I find me a jetpack. Oh hellz yea now I can fly around and use the term I picked up from Star Fox earlier. "sorry to jet, but I'm in a hurry" It's just cool mkay. Son of a… *generically takes out another AT-ST and moves on* Now I have to get all Solid Snake and go into the air ducts and apparently the empire had that in mind since I'm not the only one in here. Wonder if there are any girls working out here… maybe that's what these guys are here for too. *crawls in and out of airduct 5 times* damn
After a bit of dodging fan blades and shooting baddies I get to a big ass cavern that I can barely see the top of. All of a sudden some lasers fly down at me from way above and I see a tiny dot of a man and I decide to try and take him down… literally. He falls hundreds of feet to his death and just slams on the ground and doesn't move an inch the second he hits. Looks funny actually. A little more running around and I bump into none other than Boba Freaking Fett!!. After a brief discussion on his mama being fatter than Jaba he gets mad and shoots at me which was a big mistake. I start shooting back and he just flies around like a stiff ass torpedo with his arms by his sides. After a bit of that he gets pissed and hops in his ship and I still kick his Boba butt. What a loser…
Now I find out that Luke is in trouble and it's time to go and warn him. He's at Kenobi's old place on the other side of beggar's canyon. Hmm what's the best way to get there in time… oh yeah a freakin swoop bike. :D *jumps on it and does a um… wheelie I guess even though there are no wheels* Time to speed through Mos Eisley. Oh what's this? The guys I overheard talking are on their way too. Seems they're a swoop gang. Time for the destruction derby. w00t *goes really fast through the city streets taking bikers out*
The wind is rushing past my face as I gain on the next victim ahead. Closer…closer… almost there… alm- *gets a bug in the face* aaahhh **** that hurt. *pulls up on the side of a biker* Hey can you tell me how to get to *smashes into him and makes him crash* Now we're in the desert going about 200 mph inches above the sand. OMG sarlac pitz! *goes into beggars canyon begging to deal more destruction* Heya guys it's a tight fit in here ya? *smashes more and more guys against the rocks until he makes it to Luke*
Damn Luke these guys were coming to kill ya but I stopped em cold. :) Oh yeah right mr jedi you needed my help. >_> Probably the funnest damn level in the game. lol
Now off to an imperial freighter to hack into a super computer. Sounds like fun… not. I run around shooting more troopers as usual and run through freakin turbines and crap like that until I bump into a huge droid that looks like Wall-E on steroids with the roid rage included. ( or "droid rage", had to I'm sorry… ) I take that out and its mission complete. w00t. (boring level so gets a short paragraph lol)
Eww sewers… hate this level as well but hey lookie I got the jetpack again! :D Just think of all the weird stuff floating in these sewers with all the aliens and crap in the galaxy. (yes people I unintentionally make tons of puns in my blogs and obviously rhymes too) Hey someone left a perfectly good couch down here… damn if I weren't by myself I'd take this. Out of nowhere I hear a scary ass roar from under the water. I hate these creatures. I dunno why but they used to freak me out. When you're under the water it's hazy and you can't see them until they're closer and they just scare me with their tentacles waving around and going "booglalbooglabaooagadoo". :| Oh and lookie here the boss is a huge ass one ten times bigger… aaaahhhhhhh *sucks it up and kicks its butt or its face I can't tell* Somebody give me a Final Fantasy victory tune. *gets jiggy wit it*
Who throws away a perfectly good couch??
Ooh now we're in Xizor's palace! There are red guards, droids and all kinds of crap that doesn't want me here. Hey look huge gears spinning. I'm waiting for Simon Belmont to pop out somewhere. lol Damn the ceilings are freaking tall in here, good thing I gots a jetpack. :D After planting some bombs at key points to screw stuff up I get to the end only to run into the biggest droid yet. He's like three stories tall and he has a pimp walk from hell. So I get behind him and whittle away at his life slowly avoiding all his attacks easily. He falls over and I strike a pose, but wait he's back up!! Damn he jettisoned his legs and now he's a floating torso and head. OMG the floor is separating into a maze… RUN!! So I take off and he follows shooting all kinds of stuff at me and I'm just running scared only popping out to return fire here and there. After a bit I finally manage to destroy him and I kneel there trying to catch my breath only to see his head come back up and start eyeing my destruction… omg now I have to run from his damn head while he shoots at me with a killer cheese slicer. There's something creepy about the way he just peeks around the corner right in front of you… After a bit of a standoff I finally destroy him for good and then remember I still haven't got my cookies and I get all upset. Gonna have to give me a lifetime supply of cookies for this crap.
The Belmonts were confused when they saw the huge gears rotating.
Time to hop in the ship and follow Xizor to his skyhook. Seems he ran away once he knew I was in his crib. Oh goodie more fighters to take out along the way. I would have been bored out of my mind if I had to sit and do nothing during the trip. So I enjoy a bit of stargazing and tearing ships to pieces and yelling "I'm a firin mah laser" into the intercom then I start to see the distant silhouette of the skyhook and also what appears to be a star destroyer. Great now the empire is after something as well. Looks like the party started without me cause there's crap happenin everywhere! Fighters are flying all over shooting at each other and huge turret fire coming from the skyhook is grazing my ship. Oh hey look it's Solo. "Hey ahole you see me now don't you?" *grumbles* Luke tells me I need to take the turrets offline so I swoop in and out of laser fire while taking the turrets out one by one. I get distracted by that damn huge star destroyer and shoot it over and over and it just keeps telling me it's at 100%. Okay if it even bothers to give me a percentage when I shoot it there has to be a way to blow it up right? Obviously not cause I've never gotten it under 100 no matter what. Bet my cookies are in it too. :(
Back to work now. I'm told I have to fly inside the skyhook and take out the core so I fly in and have to work around various chunks of metal sticking out on my way to the glowing blue core and I shoot a missile at it and it kasplodes that side of the core. I find out I have to do it from all four sides to make stuff happen so I fly around through each of the four arms and shoot the core until everything freaks out and turns a bright red inside the metal skeleton of the skyhook. DIVE DIVE DIVE Guess it's time to leave… I fly out of the already flaming end of it and the screen cuts to the skyhook exploding with no indication that I even go out… wth? Then after that a brief cutscene shows Luke and Leia all sad talking about Dash and Plumma's deaths and I'm like wtf.
"Did Dash and Plumma really perish? Did Plumma ever get his cookies? Beat the game on medium to find out!" *beats his head against something else instead* I won't spoil it. :P
Yeah so I was playing on easy. Wanted to get through it so I could write this and get it over with. And so I say to you now…. I got it over with. That's SotE in a nutshell for ya. ;)
Next up is something from Sony's side since I've been hanging round the N64 too much.
(If you see errors it's cause I got tired of reading this long ass blog over and over being GS just loves to screw with me everytime I try and post a new blog.)