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Project X Zone (3DS) Localization Community

So, ever since Operation Rainfall there has been a deluge of groups for localizations of games, games being brought back in production and some like Operation Retrofall failed five seconds after they started because they weren't serious and were made for just kicks and giggles. I've shown my support to three of them - Gallia Liberation Front, Operation Rainfall and Operation Starfall (which I'm an admin of - yay me!). Now there's another for the localization of Project X Zone, a crossover fighting game for the 3DS. There hasn't been any news that it'snot being localized, but it can't hurt to show support soon.

100 000 Strong To Localize Project X Zone

100 000 may seem a lofty goal, but it's already got a thousand likes. Show your support and you get that feeling of awesomeness when you see so many people playing it and beating everyone up with Kurt and Riela from Valkyria Chronicles- eh, scratch the last part. I JEST I JEST. El. Oh. El. Etc.

The other pages are:

Gallia Liberation Front

Operation Starfall

The rest of this is a Valkyria Chronicles 2 fanboy blog - again. Man, I'm so desperate. Well, Valkyria Chronicles 2 isfinally getting some of the appreciation it deserves in literature; there are plenty of new fan fictions for Valkyria Chronicles 2. And these poll results on the Sega forums are in where Anisette seems to be more popular than Edy Nelson after all. Guess I'm not that weird. Of course, Edy is still awesome.

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And more Anisette Nelson fan art that a guy recently uploaded on Deviant Art

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Now I'm off to read those Valkyria fan fictions. Good day :)

Characters I'd like to see in Project X Zone

Well first of all, I want to have my say on the 'Dominating Next Gen' article by GameSpot. Short one, though. I'm disturbed that Kratos is representing Sony. Does Edy Nelson look DEAD to them? I'm no Microsoft fan, but Master Chief looks a hundred times cooler beside Kratos. I think, what the PS4 actually needs to do is another Valkyria Chronicles game, and with my awful image editing skills I came up with this.

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Oh well, it does look slightly convincing.

Anyway, with Super Smash Bros. 4 (?), PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale and Project X Zone coming out, there are characters everyone wants to see in each of these, and for me Project X Zone -one of the games I really really REALLY want right about now - would be all the better if it had these characters.

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Leon Kennedy:My favourite video game character of all time, and without a doubt the coolest Resident Evil protagonist around. It'd be awesome to see what they make of him in 2D. Of course, I wasn't really expecting Capcom to put him in - they've been idjits enough to not put him in Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D! And Jill and Chris came in again into Project X Zone... honestly, what's so likeable about them? Eh, nevermind; my point is that he's definitely one of the characters that just about every Resident Evil fan wants to see in this game.

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Paul Phoenix: True, he isn't my favourite Tekken character (that's Jin, who's already been announced) but he's still one of my favourite Tekken characters - if you see what I mean. He's also one of the most memorable. He's been in every game since the series' beginnings and is definitely one of the coolest character designs to ever be created; I mean, look at his hair! With a hey-ninny-no and up we go!

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Anisette Nelson/Edy Nelson: Anisette is, along with Leon, my favourite video game character of all time, from my favourite video game of all time. There's slightly more hope of Edy since she's more popular. Of course, there's only little hope of them being announced, since two Valkyria Chronicles characters have already been announced (Kurt and Riela) but I think it was a bad idea. Kurt and Riela aren't bad characters, but they're definitely not the best in the series. Anisette and Edy are! Say anything else, and I'll have you banned from GameSpot before eating your soul.

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Sonic the Hedgehog/Shadow the Hedgehog: Given that Sonic is one of Sega's most iconic characters and their mascot, I think it's downright stupid of them to not announce Sonic. And Shadow is just as cool, with his 'dark version of Sonic' attitude. Obviously they have to announce Sonic sometime; what are they plaing at?

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Kazuya Mishima: Another one of Tekken's most iconic characters, and I think he is a very cool character design and an awesome character in general, especially his red eye and how he manages to possess the devil himself. Besides, I like his sunglasses design in Tekken 4.

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Claire Redfield:Another one of Resident Evil's characters that didn't get the appreciation they deserve, Claire hasn't been in a main Resident Evil game since Resident Evil 4. Well, at least she was in Mercenaries 3D. Since all other characters seem to be tag teams, she'd be the most obvious partner for Leon. Unless Capcom is stupid enough to announce Ashley. Oh noes! Or the merchant from Resident Evil 4. That'd be cool.

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Yohsimitsu:How many cool characters can you put into a single series? With Tekken, there's plenty, and this skeleton ninja guy who was also in Soul Calibur HAS to be announced unless Namco wants me to go axe crazy on them.

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Knuckles/Tails: Two more of the obvious choices I'm surprised weren't announced at once. Hmm, the Sonic franchise seems left out. I am disappoint, Sega. Sonic's friendly rival and his sidekick are both unforgettable and iconic. Tails was awesome.

Which isn't all of them - other characters I want to see are Guy and Mike Haggar from Final Fight, Paul and Bobby from Riot City and Max from Shining Force, but these are the ones I want most and besides, I can't find pictures for all of them. Which characters would you want announced, and how much do you agree with my weird list?

Valkyria Chronicles 2 100%ed as far as 100%ing it goes. Woohoo!

After a year and a half of owning Valkyria Chronicles 2, I've done everything there is to do in the game: all the missions (over 200 of them, and that ship defense one was dang hard) You can call it 100%ing the game, since I've unlocked everything - medals, characters and all. Of course this doesn't have much to do with anything, but I can celebrate, can't I? :P

Unfortunately collecting the medals (which caused me a lot of grief too) didn't reward me as much as I expected - Juliana and Leon Hardins, despite the effort it takes to unlock them, aren't all that great. Leon doesn't even have the Max Vs Armour potential for example, which means that he's not much use after all, which directly leads to me using Noel instead so Sega have only themselves to blame. The characters from the original Valkyria Chronicles are awesome - including Edy who I can't help using despite her being pretty troublesome because of her Panicky potential.

I've levelled up all the units to level 50, except the tank which is at level 24 and is staying there because I'm using it as a Utility APC, which can't level up to 50 even though it can equip the most parts. let's just pretend that the tank can ONLY go to Level 24 :lol:

I love making lists, so here are my most deployed characters:

  1. Avan Hardins
  2. Anisette Nelson
  3. Alexis Hilden
  4. Randy Hamsun
  5. Lavinia Lane
  6. Noel Willoch
  7. Helmut Bourdais
  8. Franca Martin
  9. Edy Nelson
  10. Vario Kraatz
  11. Have you noticed there are only ten characters?
  12. Do you have difficulty counting?

My review for the game is here, and all in all I can say that it's easily the best game I've played (being the immature troll I am it suits me perfectly), the game I've put the most time into and Anisette Nelson my favourite video game character - although they do tie with Resident Evil 4 and Leon Kennedy as a character on all of these. :D

Too bad it didn't get an anime like the original game.Now all that's left is to get the artbook and the Aliasse's Blue Flame manga :D

Oh, and here's some fan art (?) of Anisette and Coleen that's so well done (although pervertedly so) that I have to keep it safe for the next SOPA that bans image hosting. :P

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IGN and their helpfulness... Indeed.

You've probably seen that I was never gone, but I'll make a speech anyway.
First thing I want to say is, I regret everything I ever said. Including what I just said that I regret everything I ever said. I also take back taking back that IGN sucks. Indeed it does suck. The problem here is, they changed their boards a few days after I went there; their new site layout is a whole new level of ugly that surpasses ugly, mugly, bugly, fugly and truggly. And they're so frickin' hard to navigate. And that wasn't even the worst. Here's the first thing they slammed in my face the second I went there:
'We're building and relaunching IGN next week from the ground up!' - God, can't these sites stay still? The sole reason I went there was in hope that it wouldn't change all the time. But guess what? They decided that they wanted to make their site fuglier, uglier, trugglier, what-have-you-er still and are going through with it. Please look up in your dictionary another extreme word to fit in here. Thank you.
And even that wasn't the worst. A few days later even when they hadn't 'built and relaunched IGN from the ground up' yet, they launched... IGN MIDDLE EAST! Dang, if only trugglier sites existed. I know they were trying to be helpful and all, but I was pretty (un)happy using IGN International, thank you very much. It was in Arabic, which isn't at all the language I'm most fluent in. In fact, I only barely know the meaning of some basic words and obviously it made no sense to me, which kind of made me blind because I couldn't find anything to switch it back. IGN and their helpfulness can go fudge a pineapple, and they didn't even tell us! Besides, Arabic characters computerized are so tiny, they might be maple syrup poured in moulds with random dots and lines.
And remember when I said that I liked the general community on IGN was cooler? I swear I regret saying that; that's probably the biggest lie I ever garbled and it must have broken you'se guys hearts into a million sad pieces and sent those pieces skittering along the floor like cockroaches running away from the light at 2X speed.They... were definitely not cool. Their posts comprised mostly 'sweet good morning everyone sugar sugar sugar' and they'd get all worked up over me writing 'Whaddid' instead of 'what did' and 'geddit' instead of 'get it' and writing my own posts in the way I didn't want them written and saying 'Fix'd' when it wasn't! How (un)helpful. And now I can deny anime avatars.
And guess what? Not only can you not submit walkthroughs there, you can't even submit REVIEWS! Zip, zilch, nada. IGN's forums comprise one big section, divided into a hundred thousand subsections, divided into a trillion and a half microsections. It's a chore navigating those. And now I can't even do that thanks to IGN Middle East *sneers*
It seems that everything looks much better in the brochure or from a safe distance. Either way, the fact remains that nobody on IGN seems to be half as cool as you guys, except some of them in GameSpot Off-Topic.
GameSpot is much, much cooler than IGN after all, and people's response to the changes were indeed extreme, my own included, though OF COURSE I didn't mean anything.
As for CVG, I never even went there *cackles madly*

Fair and square

I've had enough. I'm leaving. I'm just so sick of GameSpot and Fuse, and all the good morning, good night posts on GameSpot Fuse in particular. Even though they let up for a while, they're back, worse than ever. A while back I said that IGN sucks compared to GameSpot and Fuse. I take it back now. I just wasn't very active there as I am here. But now I will be! *giggles like a monster* Yes, that's right: even though IGN suck(ed) outright compared to GameSpot and is a cluttered mess and the CVG forums are dead, I've signed up for both of them because I'm leaving GameSpot. It's so glitchy, but I don't care. You heard me, Sonny Jim? Now that I've signed up for the two worst gaming sites in the universe if not most of Surrey as well (where I also happen to be the biggest Valkyria Chronicles fan) I DON'T CARE.

Let's ignore that I barely go to any three of these sites for news, except if I find something on the home page that catches my eye. Let's ignore that IGN posted the wrong review of Splinter Cell: Double Agent for the PS2 where they compared the Xbox and X360 version, put screenshots of the PS3 version and the only place where they barely mentioned the PS2 version was in the closing comments. Let's ignore that CVG is magazine-based ad I don't have any gaming magazines. (Well, I used to have Spider, but that's another story. Besides, I'm not much of a PC gamer anymore aside from Indie games). GameSpot wants us gone. Everyone is leaving. The site is in anarchy. I know I've said this a million and three times, but the cool people really have left and by the time I get to know the new ones GameSpot will have screwed up everything even more. The comment system, the blogs, Fuse eating comments, blah blah blah or as a Fuse user puts it, yadda yadda yadda.

Once upon a happier time we just giggled them off together and said stuff like, "Oh, GlitchSpot, you amuse me so," *waggles fingers* but GameSpot took it way too far and aside from the BONK errors, nothing's entertaining anymore. Greeeeeeeeeeeg. I miss Greeeeeeeeeeeeg. I think the biggest problem is that GameSpot so wants to sync with other websites that PlayFire and LiveFyre (I think that should spellLieFyre) when neither of them do achievements or comments respectively right. And GameSpot broke up with GameFAQs, but like Pakistan and Bangladesh in 1971, there's undeniably linkage between the two. What the hell does that mean, you say? It means that go into any game page and the walkthroughs and stuff still link to GameFAQs. Except that you can't submit walkthroughs anymore. Well, there goes all my effort on the Valkyria Chronicles 2 walkthrough. Or maybe not. Iwill submit it to IGN after all, which even though loses to GameSpot, manages to keep itself intact. As for CVG...

And to be honest, I like the general community on IGN more. I only like particular users on GameSpot - not all of them at once. Guess I shouldn't have gone into Off-Topic, but it seems the majority of users there are a-holes just to fit in. I don't like all the guys on GameSpot together at once unlike IGN.

Oh, heck, I'm not really leaving GameSpot, even though I'm making IGN more of my primary site until this place gets better. It's just that since everyone is making an 'I'm leaving' blog, why can't I? It's hard to leave. Especially for trolls. There was once a troll who said he hated us and was leaving forever, and he was never online again. Everyone was like WTF. In fact, I think the reaction of most people is a bit extreme. It's been only less than a week since the new comments and search system was layed out, and I'm sure that just like in real life, if you protest enough, GameSpot will be cowed and will change it back. Honestly, some people. Or maybe not. Perhaps GlitchSpot won't be able to change it back at all. Maybe they'll be haunted by their own glitches and errors! *scared face* But yeah, I think that if they really wanted to pointlessly introduce a new, broken comment system instead of the better, old one, they should at least have used a FuzzBuster and shaved off all the lints before they whacked it onto our profiles. Not that I mind the lost comments all that much. Some people do, but I'm pretty "YES!" over it because one of my blog's comments went over 100 comments in a conversation with the same user and I'm glad that it's gone to heck now. Hehe.

But it's really evident that this was really off-putting for a lot of the users on GameSpot and it seems that everything you ask about on GameSpot, "Why aren't my achievements syncing?" "Why aren't my emblems showing?" "What the hell is with everything here?" and everything is always explained by the same thing. "Glitch. Wait, we'll fix it." Why did they need to merge Fuse and GameSpot with PlayFire and LiveFyre in the first place? It's just made the whole place glitchier than ever. And after breaking up with GameFAQs, they haven't even separated the seams yet. Answers, walkthroughs, all the GameFAQs stuff is still on the site.

Anyone remember the Terms of Use changes a while back? God, I so want to forget that. Basically it allowed all sorts of trolling, mud slinging and offensive discussions. I don't think IGN ever sunk that low just to make their site appealing. So, if you don't like my trolling, then say it to me fair and square so that like a true leaving troll I can do some gibberish response. JK.

Oh, and IGN has more people with anime avatars. How can you deny anime avatars?*cackles madly*

A (horror?) short story I wrote

I wrote this story in school when I was still young and starry eyed. We were given a few sentences Once there was a rich farmer who helped his neighbour. But his neighbour was jealous. He hated the little white rabbit of the farmer most of all . . . (I know, this is a really stupid opening sentence. Nice work, school people :roll: ) They obviously wanted me to write a moral story, but I gave it a little spin . . .

So, it was so bad it was good that when I came across it I decided to post it here so everyone can see what a terrible writer I am. Very un-Cinderella-esque, this story. It was written in Urdu and I translated it, so it's got none of the little zing it had in Urdu. Oh well.

Zulam ka Anjaam (The title is so corny I won't even translate it to save myself the humiliation. If I was Roald Dahl or Stephen King, I'd call it, 'The Rabbit Next Door' :lol: )

Once there was a farmer who lived in a very deserted place. He was very rich. He had even helped his only neighbour to get out of debt. But his neighbour was jealous. He most of all hated the little white bunny that belonged to the farmer. So one morning, at the crack of dawn, he went to the farm, destroyed some of the crop, then went to the farmer's house and started trying to open the rabbit's cage. He pulled but it didn't open. He started cursing. Suddenly the farmer came out. The neighbour at once took a carrot and said that he was trying to feed the rabbit, but the door woldn't open. The farmer took the carrot and pushed the door instead of pulling. It opened easily. (God, what the heck was I thinking?) The neighbour went red with rage. He mustered a smile and went to rack his boiling brains. That night he came back, determined to kill the rabbit. The rabbit wasn't in its cage. He thought that the farmer had taken the rabbit out because he had gotten suspicious. He had to kill the farmer before the farmer called the police. He ran to his house.
And where was the farmer? Well, he knew the madman was after his rabbit. So he hid in a camoflauged hut next to his house and set a snare trap from a tree to capture the madman so he could call the police.

The madman came with a hanjar (Butcher knife? Yes indeed. I just like inserting foriegn words like old-school writers). He was also very clever. He saw the snare trap and did not go that way. At the same moment, the farmer looked out of his hut's window. The neighbour saw him and threw the knife at his neck with such force that the farmer's head fell off his shoulders, and landed bloody-side up on the floor. There was a splash of blood. The madman presumed that the knife had killed the rabbit as well. He started running.
At the same time the rabbit came out of the hut, covered in the blood of his dead owner. The neighbour started shaking. He thought it was the ghost of the rabbit. He started running when his foot twisted and he fell and landed face-first ... on the snare trap. There was a snap and the snare trap dragged the neighbour by his neck into the air, hanging him. His last sight was the blood-covered rabbit looking up at him. And without any law enforcers, he got punished for murder.


Terrible, yes? Oh well, I tried, and I was a youngin :lol: It was much longer in Urdu, or either my handwriting was very big. Strangely, I got full marks for this 'work of art'. My teacher was probably not expecting this, or he thought I had a problem. Sadly, the world may never know. :twisted: But if it does, I'll write a prologue like this:

Folks say if you listen real close at the height of the full moon when the wind's blowing off the Nor'East and the dogs are howling for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the Ellie May, a sturdy whaler captained by John McTavish. For it was such a night when the rum was flowin', and Davy Jones be damned, John brought his men out on deck for the first of several screaming contests.Just for an example :lol:

Also, somehow this really reminds me ofFlappie. I'm sure most of the Dutch users on GameSpot can see why.cheeky.gif

Gaming industry getting skewered for casual and smartphone gamers...

Stupid alert, stupid alert: If you happen to be a smartphone gamer, you might be slightly offended.I tried not to go overboard. Sorry.

Ever since the Mayan empire was built, people have been screaming that the world is ending. Vanishing frogs, absent vowels in text messages, the popularity of a dirty, evil, sadistic, white-meated bastard that goes by the simple name of Kratos, all point to the same thing: the world is ending in 2012. Unfortunately, it isn't ending in a way aliens after us could make a movie about, with stuff like surface cracks and extreme tsunamis that were shown in the movie 2012.
What fun its directors must be.
No alarming developments have taken place except for one: the gaming industry is getting skewered for casual gamers. First things first: I am not against casual gamers. I understand that for some people turn-based RPGs take too long, action games are too clich`ed and platformers are too hard... or too simple. For them, casual games are a five-minute sideways way to spend time, and they don't require any time to learn. My problem is with casual games themselves. Their developers can get away with making the most dastardly, pathetic and simple games and give us the same old, same old in the sequels (Angry Birds comes to mind). I'm inclined to blame smartphones and the iPhone/iPod Touch in particular for this. It's really frustrating when people and even gaming sites (IGN, I'm looking at you) call them 'accidental gaming rigs', 'the future of handheld gaming', 'innovative gaming devices'-- what's innovative? That their controls are almost always abysmal and their games aren't enjoyable because you can't see through your thumbs? Really, IGN did a whole big thing on the PSP, 3DS and iPhone where they crapped on the PSP and 3DS, the better handheld gaming devices, and went on and on and on about how absolutely wonderful the iPhone 4 is. First of all, it wasn't even a fair match because the PSP is a generation behind (still a great console and far, far better than the iPhone 4)and then the iPhone isn't even meant for gaming. Tilt and touch... bah! Tilt controls are imprecise, touch controls ruin the game because you can't see through your thumbs, and about two-point-five-thirds of the iPhone's game library is abysmal - abysmal! You can barely control the car in racing games with tilt controls, and for the millionth time, you can't see through your thumbs. It's so annoying when worthy handhelds like the PSP and 3DS are overlooked by developers in favour of smartphones which they can develop for cheaply and sell millions. iPhone games such as Grand Theft Auto III: 10th Anniversary Edition, Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing, Max Payne, Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light, Final Fantasy III's 3D remake, Backstab -- they are great, but their gameplay is marred by the smartphone's limitations and they could have been even better on the real gaming handhelds. The iPhone is actually more powerful than the PSP, and yet all of the games on it look indefinitely worse than the PSP ones. Lack of buttons forces developers to, in many games, make an onscreen button that when pressed - ta-da! - gives more buttons on-screen to perform functions. Fans of the Resident Evil series spent years begging Capcom to make a PSP version of Resident Evil 4, and Capcom just giggled and waved and went on to make a crappy iPhone version. In fact, I wouldn't even have minded if they made a PSP Minis version of the iPhone version, but since when has Capcom been that nice? The iPhone's App Store is filled with so many games, and ninety percent of them suck. Five percent of the remaining ten percent are mediocre, and the remaining five per cent are the only ones actually worth playing. Another thing to hate about smartphones is that they changed the meaning of the word 'app' forever. App means application. Not according to Apple - sorry, Crapple. For them, apps can mean from anything from games to files that don't do anything except sit on your home menu. Of course it would be fine if they could keep their s*** to themselves, but people and even developers now call smaller games, 'apps.'
I could write a book about the things I have against Apple, but that's enough of that. Let's move on to casual games. I don't hate all casual games -in fact, Diner Dash is one of my favourite video games of all time- but I hate the badly done ones, and that's the majority. Angry Birds included. It's the most downloaded game of all time and is played, on average, 200 million minutes everyday. Well, if that isn't another ten nails in the coffin of real games. What's so awesome about it? That you can fling little birdies across the screen to kill green pigs and watch as you fail epicly at doing so? It got numerous sequels: Angry Birds Rio, Angry Birds Seasons, Angry Birds Carnival, and the gameplay in all of them was exactly the same, as were the graphics, sound, music and presentation. Not a single embellishment in the sequels. Not a single dang one. Tetris got more embellishments than Angry Birds. And there's nothing really awesome about the gameplay either: it's just about throwing something at something else that Flash games had already done. Nice thinking, Rovio. Really innovative. Anyone with brains could see that Valkyria Chronicles has cooler gameplay! And Sega didn't palm off the same old, same old off on us either. The engine -if Angry Birds even runs on something like that- hasn't even been slightly improved or even tweaked during all the time people have been shouting, "Splendid! Wonderful! Amazing!" at their smartphone screens.
And there are all those other casual games I could say that about, like Doodle Jump. Anyway, my point is that casual game developers almost always make barebones games and get away with it simply because some people don't have the time to play for long spells. Casual games can be great if developers just spend more time on them, like Diner Dash, and they probably will sell better if they don't release a hundred barebones games a day and release well-developed games once in a while. And this way other genres like RPGs, shooters and strategy games won't be overlooked as well.
Just my thoughts. An angry blog on Angry Birds. I have to giggle :lol:

Mysteries in Metal Gear

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Welcome to Metal Gear Mysteries, MGM for short (not MGM who had some distant relation to Tom and Jerry). After @GunBladeHero and my own mystery solving with the mysteries in Sonic, I've wanted to do another one. And the plot in a certain series is so dang complex you need to watch all the cutscennes twelve times in a row to get what the hell they're talking about, which isn't easy because some cutscenes are an hour long. It isn't Kingdom Hearts, of course (which I'd love to solve the mysteries in, but the whole series is a big fat mystery so it'd be pointless, a waste of time and quite frankly, a pointless waste of time.) Anyway, I've been playing Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker and made up this picture in five seconds and posted it on Fuse, which made some people lull and lol, which I am glad for. It's the flashback scene in Peace Walker (no spoilers here, not any real ones, trust me) which was repeatedly shown so many times that I got right dang sick of it and waited for the world to end. (Bought a Windows 7...) If you can't see it, right-click and Copy Image URL and paste it in the URL typing space thingamijig.

Anyway, the point is that when Naked Snake was born, the Boss got a deep scar all over her body shaped like an 'S', which either means that she got an S Rank for perfect childbirth or it was a sign that Snake was trouble and she should have given him away to a travelling circus. The fact that he was worse than her in CQC and still managed to kill her shows that she should have heeded the sign and given him away, but she didn't. The fact that he managed to survive so much torture should have proven that he was playing her for a fool, but she didn't realize it, and in turn he became a rebel and shot her with her own gun and she gave it to him and said, "Kill me, kill me now because a toffee of mine fell out of my pocket while I was fighting you and my horse trod over it, now I'm destroyed," so she had no one but herself to blame. This kept her where Snake wanted her: under his always-gloved thumb.

That brings us to the cool yet show-offy golved-hand dude Revolver Ocelot. Where did he learn all those hand gestures? :shock: The Boss was in league with Colonel Volgin and C.O.B.R.A. and she must have trained him. All those CQC moves made him think it was some kind of Latin dancing and he started practising from then on. Unfortunately, a bomb exploded two feet away from him during practise and this gave him shell-shock, and he kept dancing from ever since. Snake was pretty fast: first he told him he should get a revolver instead of an automatic; and next time Ocelot ran out of bullets Snake said, "The revolver carries only six shots. The Makarov carries eight." Why the hell did you tell him to get a revolver instead of an automatic like he had before in the first place, then?
I liked how Snake Eater had a lot of supernatural stuff in it: ghosts, a 100-year-old sniper who exploded when he died (how did he do that!?) , a man who was disfigured by hornet stings but the bastard just wouldn't die, a cosmonaut who thought space was his home, and my favourite: The Fear, a man with greying hair who had obviously watched The Exorcist and took lessons from a contortionist to be able to twist his body at amazing angles (fat lot of good it did him in the end). But it doesn't explain how they got their powers, so I'll explain. Let's start with The End, the father of modern sniping. He used to laugh at everything when he was little and his annoyed father put a grenade between his teeth and said, 'Laugh now' and he giggled and the grenade exploded in his mouth, loosening his eye sockets (which made him able to see about two inches farther) and sending him into a state of coma except when he was required to fight. That's why he was always sleeping. And he exploded when Snake eventually killed him because he still had a bit of unexploded grenade in his body. The next is The Pain, the dude whose face resembled a hive and the hornets he controlled seemed to use it as such. When he was little, his little brother, who he often bullied, caught a hornets nest and threw it at his face and they stung him until his face was covered with highly painful boils. And you know why he wouldn't die? He was one sting short of death when the hornets felt terrible for doing this to him and appointed themselves as his servants. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and although he barely survived, he became stronger and grew rather fond of the hornets and trained them to eat the earwax out of his ears and close his eyelids when he wanted to go to sleep. The Fury, the astronaut. They never reveal his face and he says, "I'm going home" when he goes either into space or to hell (maybe both?) so it's quite probable that he was a stray alien they left behind after the alien invasion of 1957. With a grey body, big eyes and a round head, he fit in perfectly with the C.O.B.R.A. unit.
There's also their leader: Colonel Volgin, the electric man- literally. He can produce electricity from the six AAA batteries he takes. In the end he runs out batteries and is struck to death by lightning. As they say in Resident Evil 4, "Our last meal and bottle breaks; returning us to dust from where we once came." "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" quotes annoy me, but I'd love to hear; "Electricity to electricity." Another explanation is that he wasn't out of batteries: he was running from an external charger that was plugged into his back, and chasing Eva and Snake took him to Pakistan. (Yipply dipply diddly doo, I wish I was there! :D) During the battle there was a power cut (which happens a lot here) i.e loss of electricity and a temporary return to the Stone Age, and he abruptly ran out of power. Snake and Eva just wasted motorcycle petrol running around; it's our Pakistani government that saved the day. Woohoo! ????? ????! Yes, Americans, you owe your life to us :D Sorry for being a little patriotic there :P Oh wait, it's just a video game. It almost seemed real for a second.
To mention Pakistan even more, why were they flying over Pakistan at the start of the game when they were headed from U.S.A. to Russia? I mean, Pakistan is in South-East Asia. What the HELL was a plane from America to Russia doing in Pakistan? Maybe it went something like this:
Pilot: Entering Russian airspace.
Snake: Wait! I forgot my cookie jar! I want COOKIEEEEES!
Pilot: Too late for that, kiddo.
Snake: (inaudible swearing)
Major Zero: We don't want him whining the whole trip. Let's head back for cookies first.
Para-Medic: Pakistan has good cookies. I should know. All I babble about is food and movies.
(Plane veers dangerously towards south)
Pilot: Flying over Pakistan, altitude 30 000 feet.
(Snake jumps out of plane without parachute)
Snake: GERONIMOOOOOOOOOO!
And after the usual, "Snake, respond! Snake! Snaaaaake!" the pilot and Major Zero slapped each other high-fives and giggled and thought they were finally rid of Snake.
How wrong they were.
And finally: the horse. Boss's horse. It just stood there and watched Boss and Snake fight when it could probably have yanked the gun out of Snake's hands and kicked him to the ground. Snake realized this, that's why he put the horse down in Peace Walker. Poor horse. It helped him much more than that dastardly mule. The horse was watching popcorn and sitting with its legs crossed, watching the fight. And it shouted, "Bravo!" and clapped its hooves every time Boss whacked Snake in the face.
Thank you for your time. Have a cookie. :D

Mysteries in Sonic

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A week or so ago, @GunBladeHero and I were talking about Chocobo Racing which turned to Sonic because he's a psychic and asked me about it out of the blue when I'd been playing Sonic Adventure 2 earlier. Anyway, we talked about the strange things in video gaming that happened back in the sepia-toned days of the Sega Genesis, and the mysteries about Sonic that Sega had kept from us forever.

Until now...

*curtains pulled back, room darkens, pyrotechnics explode followed by creepy Halo-like music*

WHY did Knuckles attack Sonic in Sonic 3 when they are friends? Brainwashed by Robotnik? Not frikkin' likely, Kuckles'd just pull off a Chaos Hammer or whatever his annoying attack in Sonic Rivals is, and escape. He did it to steal the Chaos Emeralds. Obviously. We all saw that. Why did he do that when they were useless except to make you blond? Because they're possessed like the Ruling Ring in The Lord of the Rings. They make people so want to own them that they become desperate enough to own others to own them. And Knuckles owned Sonic. And he stole all seven emeralds while Sonic sat back and watched like, as GunBladeHero put it, "scary cat" (actually, it's scaredy cat. Keep that in mind, GBH :roll: ). And Knuckles giggled to himself.

But Sonic was Super Sonic when Knuckles hit him. How could he do that? Super Sonic is invincible! :shock: Probably he used landmines, or wore a suit of mirrors when he jumped out so that Sonic saw how terrible his hair looked in Super Sonic form and dropped from shock. Personally, I'd put my rupee on the mirror suit.

And why did Sonic and Tails chase after Knuckles when Tails had a plane? How did Knuckles get away so fast when Sonic can outrun him? Either Sonic and Tails didn't want to waste petrol, or Tails crashed his plane which explains his absence during the time Knuckles stole the emeralds. And Knuckles simply fell into a space in the ground and died and lost a life and respawned at the start of the level where Sonic and Tails were ahead of him, so he ran in the opposite direction and giggled to himself and thought he was all so clever.

Why did Sonic jump off the plane in the first place and become Super Sonic to get to the island? You see, Tails is an AC/DC fan, and he was playing 'You Shook Me All Night Long' in the plane at 110 decibels, and Sonic jumped when his eardrums started shaking as well. Besides, he doesn't like Brian Johnson. Poor guy. Tails is so mean to him.

Tails is also mean to him in another place: letting him fall into those places where they fall and lose a life. In Sonic Heroes, Tails can fly with two passengers. Why doesn't he carry Sonic over the spaces? This is a mystery even we couldn't solve. We need answers, Sega! :P Waiddasecond.... Maybe Classic Sonic from Sonic 3 is too fat! Yes, modern Sonic is slimmer. That explains it.

Last of all, and most gruesome, where does Sonic keep those rings? I bet he stuffs them down his shoes, or eats them and vomits them back up when he gets hit. Mario's and Sonic's mother's don't mind when they eat coins and rings because they just tell them it's coming out of their allowance.

.... God, I hope he stuffs them down his shoes.

This is almost embarassingly short (it seemed much longer!) , but I hope you like :) And thanks to GBH for being like Dr. Watson and giving me this idea :D

Namco x Capcom x Sega = Rebellion?

HORROR of HORRORS! Capcom and Sega and Namco are working together and are developing an unknown game for the Nintendo 3DS. Just like that. I pray that it will not be a fighting game, because Capcom would be working on it and it would be rubbish. And I hope it won't be an RPG, because Capcom knows nothing about RPGs either. Not horror, because Capcom forgot it all, forgot it all! Also because they don't make satisfying zombie headshots anymore; the heads don't even explode in Resident Evil Revelations! Not platformer, because Capcom would screw over Mega Man fans yet again. Capcom is failing the most because it no care about its fans anymore :( And giving Jill a big butt in Revelations is compensation only to the sickest, most twisted perverts who live in dark places where danger lurks in a dangerous manner. And Leon Kennedy wasn't even there! :( Namco and Sega are going down the drain as well.

Anyone know of that game company, Rebellion? Of course you don't, and you're better off that way. They ruined the Dead to Rights franchise and are terrible developers. Oh well, at least Rebellion isn't working on this game. Talking to either of these three companies is as good as talking to a brick wall, but I have nothing else to talk about :P

Crimes of Namco, Capcom, Sega:

Namco:Let the success of Tekken Blood Vengeance go to their heads and totally ruined the games because of them. Before Tekken 6, the lowest score a Tekken game had received on GameSpot was 8.8 and IGN was above 9. Tekken 6 was pretty unfaithful to the series because it added stuff that it didn't need, like the Rage Mode thingamijig that activates when a character's health is low. This complexity is better left to Capcom's Street Fighter, which has all sorts of bars and dials and guages. Tekken is supposed to be simple. Four buttons and four limbs, and that's what they fight with. No extra guages or charged attacks or power meter. That's why I liked Tekken so much. Even Tekken 6 wasn't so bad, but with Tekken Hybrid and Tekken 3D they blew it. Bundling Tekken Blood Vengeance with the game doesn't make it better, because Tekken fans have probably watched it anyway and they paid for the game, not the movie. Tekken Hybrid and Tekken 3D got 5.5 and 6.5 respectively, the lowest scores the series ever had.

Capcom: Were mean to Leon Kennedy! I just can't get over this :( He hasn't appeared in a single game since Resident Evil 4 even though everyone loves him, he's killable in Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City (also got the lowest score the series ever had) and he isn't in Resident Evil: Revelations' Raid Mode even though the worst ever characters in the series are. Also screwed over Mega Man fans more times than I can count and ended Mega Man Legends series pretty abruptly. Once you cancel a game... Oh, andwhere, ohwhereis Leon's DLC for Resident Evil: Mercenaries 3D? :roll:

Sega: Didn't localize Valkyria Chronicles 3! Oh well, they had it coming, but I don't complain much that Valkyria Chronicles 2 was on PSP because that's the way I discovered the series ;) Also, they finally became friends with Nintendo! How could they? They are supposed to be enemies forever, because Mario stole Sonic's spotlight so many times. How does the bastard run every time he whacks Sonic off the radar? Maybe he warps through a pipe. And that dude who made Sonic, gasp, joined Nintendo! Treachery! Flames! Murder! :shock:

End Result = ?

I realize I've exaggerated a lot, but that's more because this is supposed to be an exaggerated humorois blog. At least, Ithink it is. Oh well, hope the three companies do better together than apart from each other. Good luck with the game, Three Companies :)