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It's Christmas! or Worst Case Scenario.

Season’s Greetings
Merry Christmas everyone! If it’s not Christmas there, or if you don’t celebrate Christmas Merry… day. There.

Since it’s Christmas time I’m not going to have a huge post. Just the “essentials”. Before I get ahead of myself, a little about this holiday season so far.

The theme of this year’s holiday season is “last minute”. Apparently I’m not alone with my last minute shopping; news reports are… reporting that the majority of Americans have waited until the last minute to do the bulk of their shopping this year. Interesting, no? No. More about me. I got my last gift for someone Saturday; needed my personal shopper to help out. Everything is wrapped nicely now. I finished about 20 minutes ago. Wrapping presents is awesome! There’s nothing quite like it.

I got some glittery wrapping paper last year. They have some kind of contemporary design and the outline of whatever is on it has gold glitter over it. It looks great when everything is said and done, but the act of wrapping a gift with that junk is utter torture! It. Gets. Everywhere. In fact, so much glitter attaches itself to my hands, when I get a piece of tape after touching the paper, it won’t stick because the glitter from my fingers transfers to the tape! Crazy messy. That feeling between my fingers, that grit feeling… *shudders* This will be the last year for that paper. It looks great, but it’s not worth it.

A Comical Look Into my Future
Quite a few years back, a school chum (not the shark bait) clipped a comic strip he found. It fit me perfectly and I displayed it proudly on the side of my PC… until I got my new one. It fell in with the rest of the stuff on my desk I needed to clear off and faded into oblivion. I thought it was lost. After going through the junk in our extra room a few weeks ago, I found it hidden amongst the other forgotten items. How can I store this so it will always be where I can find it? Simple. Scan the sucka! I did, and even gave it a touch up. I now present it to you, resurrected, “digitally restored” and with THX Certified Sound! (click for full-size)

Hmm, maybe a little back-story is needed. I love donut holes. There. More? Ever since I was born my parents and da fam went to this Christmas Party held at my grandfather’s Plumber’s Union Hall. It’s nothing spectacular, really. A bunch of chairs, a raffle, coffee and donuts, and a santa for the kiddies. For 21 years straight we attended the party, and (I’m guessing, since I can only remember back so far) ever since I could eat solid foods, I gorged myself on the donut holes they had there. The love of donut holes spread to my “normal life” rather quickly and it is still my favorite fried-dough-with-sugar-on-it food. There’s a bit more to the reason he gave it to me, but that’s between me and nobody. Tough chickens.

Worst Case Christmas
The good ‘ol holiday season has it’s fair share of danger and, being the thoughtful and compassionate person I am, have decided to list a few brief guides that can help out with some of the more perilous scenarios that you can encounter during the holidays. It’s not a matter of “if”, it’s a matter of “when.”

The first scenario may not be “dangerous” per se, but it can spark a frustrated outburst and that can become dangerous. Christmas lights look great when they’re up, but getting them there is another challenge altogether.

The second hazard of the holidays is a very real and present danger during any of the busy shopping seasons. This guide can help you throughout the entire year. And believe me, this happens all the time.

A hazardous situation doesn’t have to endanger your life, it can cause irreparable damage to your ego and leave you an empty husk of a man (or woman). While most people have the cognitive ability to reason, and thus determine this isn’t a smart idea, there are those that may be looking to imitate certain movies, or to grasp for the “funny guy” crown and toss their better judgment aside. This is tailored specifically for that group.

Finally, like something you’d see in a Santa-themed action movie, the runaway sleigh. Most worry only about motor vehicles during the snowy season. And for them there are preventative measures available to help prevent loss of control. But did anyone think of the one-horse sleigh? Just because it’s not the newest transportation technology doesn’t mean you can disregard the passenger’s safety. Hopefully, my retro-transportation-safety activism will help usher in a new era of sleigh safety.

And there you have it. 4 holiday disasters adverted. Don’t say I never taught you anything.

To Be Added
Christmas is over! Here's what I got! Quite a haul if you ask me.
* USB WiFi Adapter for the hooking up of the Wii to the interweb.
* Nintendo Wii Classic Controller
* Nintendo Gamecube Wavebird Wireless Controller
* Some huge memory card for GC (Gamecube) games (for the playing of GC on the Wii)
* Super Smash Bros. Melee (GC for the Wii)
* Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (GC for the Wii)
* Nintendo Wii Points Card (Which I used to get Mario 64 and Gunstar Heroes)
* House Season 1
* Kino's Journey Box Set
* Two (Black one and Blue one) Nintendo Wii Wiimote Controller Sleeves
* Full Metal Alchemist: The Conqueror of Shambala (got it from the contest, but it had two Disc 2's so I took it to Best Buy and got a new one!)
* The Gap scarf (dark and light-er blue stripes)

One Last Song
I’ve changed my blast song. Another Christmas classic, from my favorite holiday movie, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Watch it every year! I do. Tomorrow I’ll be putting up the last Christmas song of the season, and my favorite Christmas song evar! (yeah, that was intentional)

Well, pumpkin pie’s ready to eat and I gots ta get to bed early, so Santa won’t pass me by. Have a great Christmas everyone! I wish you all the best and hope you get everything on your list… or, you know enjoy giving and being nice and all that other junk. Merry Christmas!

(still haven’t figured out a closing line…)