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2012 is crap, moving on to 2013

by on

Nah this aint no rant about 2012 sucking, it doesn't take a genius to figure that out. Just a list of games that I'm interested in 2013

First, let's get out the way the games that I'm NOT HYPED FOR

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Sh*tty revival of a franchise that was meh to begin with

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The franchise that isn't

A. Survival Horror

B. Fun

C. Worth five dollars, let alone sixty.

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If it plays anything like previous Biosucks = Pass

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Uncharted: Other M.

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LMAO They're still milking this series? HAHAHAHHA NOW THEY ADDED CO-OP.

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Why would you buy this game? What can it possibly offer that Gears 3 doesn't have?

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Self-Explanitory

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It looks nice. However it's Quantic Dream, and while they did make the great Indigo Prophecy (Well the forst half was great) they made the utter sh*t HR

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It's Crytek. they've yet to make a good game.

Now, they're are other hyped games I'm not looking forwards to, yet those are still respectable and just not my cup of tea, unlike these games which objectively look bad.

Now, on to games I'm undecided on and may just rent

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I loved 2010's MP. Shoot me. It was fun, which makes me semi-hyped for this. Yet, It doesn't look too special, and I'll probably just rent it.

>That Deadpool game that I can't find an image for.

I love Deadpool, and we need more personalities like his in vidya. I'm tired fo whiny Kratos/marcus/Every jrpg heshe characters. Yet look at DNF. That's how you DON'T do a personality like that. i just fear Deadpool might end up like DNF

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for (me to get over with)

Games that I am HYPED For!

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Say what you want. Say this spin-off is killing the MGS franchise (lol), it looks fun.

A. It's the MG universe

B. IT'S F*CKING RAIDEN

I don't even like H&S much yet this looks fun as sh*t

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Sure, the original started extremelys low and boring. Yet honestly, Amnesia is the best representation of a current gen Survival Horror. So obviously, I'd be hyped for the next installment.

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It's a fun franchsie that I put 100 + hours into each installment. Few franchises can provide this.

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If you saw the E3 presentation, you'll know exactly why you should be hyped. If you haven't......

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Simply because Obsidian is helping with it, and Wasteland 1 was a pretty cool guy, heard he doesn't afraid of anything.

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And of course, my GoTY, simply because

A.Obsidian, king of RPGs

B.South Park

C.Combat looks really fun

Speaking of hyped games

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If you don't want to import thsi like I did, wait till March (I think). No, seriously. It's hype bro. GoTY 2012 so far for me, though this year is sh*t so not much of an accomplishment.

Also

SHUT THE F*CK UP ABOUT WATCH DOGS

CHRIST.

What games you excited for bro?

Happy birthday to me............

by on

/emo :P

My birthday is next Tuesday and I've been thinking of getting some games, naturally. Although I've purchased most of the games I wanted here are a couple I'm getting

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images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS0AW-MAAP5SWWW95EGhPp

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQRPStLgohU-8n30nbl5Do(DD of course)

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And whatever else I see that interests me :P

This is a lot less short and ranty than my others lol.

How can anybody actually believe FO3 is better than New vegas?

by on

FO3: Beloved by millions, adored by numerous gaming critics, GoTY awards up the ass, Considered one of the greatest RPG's of all time.

New Vegas: Quickly forgotten about by the major gaming critics, no GoTY awards, considered a disappointment by the gaming industry.

:lol:

Yes yes yes, I talk about New Vegas too much, this sh*t needed to be stated.

Can anyone actually tell me... how New Vegas is considered inferior to 3?

Because... it's not..... :?

Now, this blog will be LOOOOOONG and no one will read it, but just humor me, and hopefully I've humored you.

Let's start with something simple... the RPG mechanics.

Now, when it comes to choices that matter RPG's, no other games shape up to New Vegas. You know how many ending there were to Fallout 3?

Two.

The "OMG U R A SAINT I HEART U" Ending; where the narrator circlejerks you to death.

And

The **** WUT R U DOING???" Ending, where the narrator is on the god damn verge of tears because you were mean to the wasteland people.

There's also the "Neutral" ending, which was just the good ending with a bi-polar narrator.

Don't believe me? Check for yourself.

FO3 GOOD BOY ENDING

FO3 Neutral ending

Now, if I'm not mistaken, RPG's require choices that matter. You may have been confused by this statement if you consider Mass Effect an RPG, but it's true. RPG's require replayability, and you really can't have that if your choices are irrelevant.

Now, FO3 had choices, I'm not denying that. Yet they were so black and white it was obvious little thought was put into them.

Example, a little kid from Grayditch is homeless. Here are your choices

A. Find him a home.

B. Sell him to slavers.

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FO3's whole "choice mechanic" is based around an idiotic Karma system that rubs its d*ck into every nook and cranny in the game.

And it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't completely broken as well.

What's that? You blew up an Innocent and harmless civilization because some old guy wanted you to? Don't worry, give 50 bottles of water to some poor mexican and you're A GOD DAMN SAINT.

And EVERYTHING is effected by this. Stole a bottle of whiskey in megaton? The people of Rivet City are aware of your crimes and will hold it above your head forever. (or until you give that mexican water)

Let's look at consequences og having each

Consequences of a Good Karma:

3Dog dry humps your leg over the radio.

Your dad says "GOOD BOY" like you're some dog.

You get free stuff in Megaton every once in awhile. (Unless you blew it up, in that case how do you have good karma? )

You get to recruit Fawkes and that BoS lady

Consequences of a neutral Karma:

You get to recruit that one robot and that Butch guy

Uhh... thaht's it?

Consequences of an evil Karma

3Dog calls you mean and cries.

Your dad does the same, except he's not a radio host

You get to recruit Jericho and that one slave lady

You get accepted into Slavers Paradise without having to pay Caps/Speech check

Speaking of speech checks, those are broken in FO3 as well.

You can have the charisma of a dead buffalo but you can still pass that speech check if you keep on loading your previous save and trying again.

Now, in new Vegas, you're required to have a specific Speech level in order to pass a speech check. THAT'S an RPG mechanic. Not some BS 33% Chance sh*t.

Moving along.

Luckily, New Vegas moved away from the whole Karma thing. Instead, it implemented a "Faction relationship" system.

Novac does not give a f*ck you shot up White Glove Society, BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT THE GOD DAMN WHITE GLOVE SOCIETY. THEY'RE NOVAC. NO-VAC.

NPC's reaction with you is dependent on your relation with their faction. They don't care that you have evil karma.

THAT'S HOW IT SHOULD BE.

In FO3, go ahead and shoot up Rivet City. As long as you wait 3 days they've completely forgotten about the fact that you murdered and raped their village. Short-term memory, helluva drug.

Now, try that sh*t with a faction. Not only will the NCR/Legion/Powder Gangers ect. always be hostile towards you if you approach them, but you can't gain back positive reputation (unless you disguise yourself as a member of their faction)

In Megaton..... if you blow up the city.... Moira survives. You can tell Moira you blew the city up, and she'll be all like "Why?"

"Because explosions are cool"

"Oh, okay. hey can you help me with this book?"

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Yeah, never mind the fact I just destroyed your settlement and permanently made you an ugly ghoul, I'll help with your book.

Having a negative reputation with a faction in new Vegas - Even if you didn't kill anyone - will make certain quests unobtainable.

Also, in an RPG, you're suppose to play.... a role.... of your choosing.

That's something you can't do in FO3. Sure you can be Evil Eddie, Saint Stanley, or Bipolar Betty, but you'll ALWAYS be playing the role of a BrotherHood of Stealhelper. No matter how many people you kill, how badly you don't wnat to help the wasteland, you're stuck being that role. (In Broken Steel, you are given the chance to blow up the BoS, but then your role is simply "that guy who helped us a lot then killed us for no reason")

This "role" is further shoved down your throat due to the fact there are "essential" characters in the game. Meaning you can't kill them. You can't kill your dad, you can't kill Dr.Li, you can't kill Father Lyon/Daughter Lyon. Nope, they'll just go unconscious.

Now, in New Vegas, you can kill ANYONE.

That guy starring at you the wrong way? Shove 5 rounds of .308 up his ass. You want that fist thingy Caesar has? Kill him!

The only person you can't kill, is Yes Man, yet

A.WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO KILL HIM?

B. He's only unkillable so you can complete the damn main quest. And even then he gives you a reason as to why he's unkillable.

So not only does Fallout 3 have a sh*tty main role playing mechanic, it doesn't even let you choose a "role"

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Best RPG ever.

Now, let's look at the quests provided by each.

Number of quests in FO3(Main and side): 32

Number of quests in New vegas: 110

110, that's a f*cking lot. Of course, some of these will be unavailable due to the completion of one quest cancelling out another. You know, like how an RPG SHOULD WORK?

Now if my Math is correct, 110>32, by a god damn large margin. That's 78 extra quests New Vegas has over 3. I'd rather not go into the actual quality of each, there are some bad ones in New Vegas. for example, that Red Lucy Fetch Quest.

But it's not like Fallout 3 is short on terrible quests. :lol:

Most of 3's quests come down to a black and white decision, which only affects your Karma... and maybe outside reactions. New Vegas' on the other hand? The completion of the quest (and how it's completed) can affect Karma, faction reputation, companion reputation, future quests, the ending.

Anyway, moving on to writing and characters.

Now, this shouldn't take long. If you believe FO3 has better characters and writing, you're an idiot.

The characters in FO3 are rarely fleshed out, if at all. Your dad, one of the most important characters in the game, isn't at all fleshed out. He's loving and wants to do the right thing. That's it. FO3 always will give you the what, but never the why.

Not New Vegas. New Vegas gives you the who, the what, the where, the why, the whodat, the whatchamajiggies, and all that stuff.

If FO:NV was written by Bethesda, here's how it would pan out.

Caesar: I wish to enslave all other tribes, for they are savaged.

NCR: We want to restore peace to New Vegas and keep mean people like caesar away from here

Mr.House: Keep those factions away!

Yes Man: Whatever you say! (Let's face it, a robot who agrees with your every statement doesn't need a "why")

But since Obsidian wrote it, here's what we got.

Caesar: I wish to take over the Dam and spread the blood of our enemies across the way. New Vegas and its people are unfit savages who need to be punished in order to strengthen our society. *Monologue of old Roman ways*

NCR: New Vegas is a powerful force we need to control in order to extend the NCR's grasp, and given the fact that if we aren't there, Caesar will take over, we figure we have the citizens on our side. Strategy muthaf*cka

House: New Vegas needs to remain a free land, as it always was. Both Caesar and NCR's control will only hurt the citizens and keep me from being in control.

yes man: Same as it ever was.

Thus, New Vegas' writing> 3's

Now, let's move onto companions

FO3's companions. Note, this is not summarizing. This is LITERALLY all they are

jericho: Old Raider. Likes killing and smoking

That slave b*tch: Mindless drone, does whatever you ask.

Robot:Robot

Dogmeat: Dog

That Ghoul slave: Ghoul slave that hates evil people.

Butch: Old bully, stupid greaser, hates Radroaches

Paladin Cross: Used to know your dad. Probably slept with him, who knows. Hates evil people.

Fawkes: Actually fleshed out character. 1 out of 8, good job Bethesda. Also, well played by making him the most overpowered f*ck, making him the obvious choice for companions.

Now, let's move on to New Vegas' companions

Well...... I would tell you their personalities and whatnot.... but that's the thing.... their personalities are ALL DEPENDENT ON YOU. boone can be a vengeful killer or a merciful hunter.

Arcade can be a power armor wielding fighter or a helper of the less fortunate.

Raul can be a mexican gunslinger or a laid back mechanic (just a mexican, don't mod me for that it's juts a damn joke lighten up)

Each companion has their own mission that determines their future.

THAT'S HOW RPG'S ARE SUPPOSE TO BE BABY.

Another thing New Vegas has over 3, the list is piling

Now, moving on. The main reason you see New Vegas being bashed, by gamers and critics alike, is that it's glitchy.

Because as we all know, FO3 was the most polished game of 2008.

Hahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhaha

Riddle me this, how can a game like Skyrim, one of the buggiest games of 2011, be praised with GoTY awards through the ass, yet New Vegas' technical issues are what kept it from being the game it could have been.

Actually scratch that, the backwards flying dragons in New Vegas were pretty bad... :lol:

Now, I'm running out of time/room here, so I'm going to skip a couple more reasons why New vegas>3(Better Combat system, better weapons, Hardcore Mode, better Unmarked Quests, better enemies, less repetitive enviroment, more sh*t to do, better apparel, more replayability ect. ect.) and skip to my final thoughts, the Main quest.

Now, the following will have spoilers for fo3, but not New Vegas. Because you can't spoil an RPG.

In FO3, your daddy escapes from the vault and for some reason, everyone is blaming you (another fine example of the what and not the why) With the help of that one chick you wouldn't mind boning, you escape and try to find him. Here's your first choice in the game!

You can either

A.Find him without help

B. Find him with help.

Now., I know this choice may seem difficult, but it's not. Go to the nearby town of Megaton, which, for some reason, was built around an undetonated warhead. Ask that stereotypical Irish guy where your father is by either

A.Passing a speech check (a.k.a just save and keep trying)

B.Pay him

C. Find info on his computer.

These decisions are tough, I know, but we'll pull through.

After that you go to the inner-city of the capital wasteland, and you meet Sentinal Lyons (?), another chick you wouldn't mind boning. She takes you to 3 Dog who will tell you where your father is if you find his satelite that dropped out his pocket.

or you can "pass" a speech check and he'll tell you anyway.

Go to rivet city to find your dad. Instead you find some doctor you wouldn't have minded boning 10 years ago. She said your daddy went to some Vault.

Go to that Vault

. Enter some psychotic simulation. Help some psychotic little girl you wouldn't mind boning.

After that your dad comes out and is amazed you came to see him.

Go back to Rivet City

Go to Project Puritie's former lab.

Help your dad do sh*t

Oh no, the base is being attacked by some strange metal people.

Kill strange metal people.

Go to your dad.

Watch dad kill himself.

Cry.

Help That old doctor escape.

Meet a bunch of other tin can suited people.

Do sh*t for them.

Get kidnapped by those people who killed your daddy.

Fight your way through a bunch of them so you can meet up with the president who told them not to shoot at you.

He gives you a thing that poisons water.

Go back to Tinhood of Steel.

WAAAARRR

Here's your final choice, dependent on your previous choices you made.

Purify water.

Poison water.

that's it...

....

THAT'S NOT AN RPG. THAT'S NOT EVEN A GOOD LINEAR STORY. IT'S JUST YOU DOING A BUNCH OF GOD DAMN FETCH QUESTS AND A FIGHT SCENE AT THE END. F*CK YOU I YOU THINK THAT COUNTS AS AN RPG. THERE IS NOTHING THAT AFFECT ANYTHING. YOU GET THE SAME ENDING SITUATION NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. THE STORY CHOICES AREN'T EVEN BLACK AND WHITE. THEY'RE JUST BLACK. HOW CAN ANYONE STAND SOMETHING JUST BLACK? WHAT THE HELL?

RPGOTY?GOTY 2008? NEW VEGAS IS VASTLY INFERIOR? NO, F*CK YOU AND YOUR TERRIBLE OPINIONS. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE GOOD GAMES. FALLOUT 3 IN NO WAY IS BETTER THAN NEW VEGAS.

Anyway I'm done laying down the truth. I know it hurts, and you feel a slight sensation of anger stemming from your ass, but you'll survive, trust me ;)

G'night son.

New Banner, New Job, New Plague of the Internet

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Haven't given any attention tot his thing for two weeks so might as well update it with something.

Today in ~Slashless' Blog~ (Pink because f*ck you) we'll discuss the following

  1. The Last of Us getting delayed
  2. Me being unemployed as of August 13 2012- August 22nd
  3. Avatar Fans being **** (Gamespot's censoring is a real b*tch)

WARNING LEGENDS OF KORA(or w/e) SPOILERS AHEAD, IF YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT LOK BEING SPOILED FOR THEN KILL YOURSEL- er... I I mean STOP READING

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Game got delayed. Now if you read my last blog entry (if you haven't you should kill yourse-er, I mean read it) this was one of three 2012 games I was hyping (along with Sly 4 and Halo 4) so naturally the news of its 2013 release is very saddening to hear. Honestly, 2012 looks like real sh*t. The game I'm most hype for is Halo f*cking 4. Not saying that game won't be great but jeez I just want something different and new to hype. Pour example, last year's GoTY was LA Noire, a brand-spanking new IP that took a unique idea and implemented it well,

UNLIKE THE FOURTHOUSANTH GOD DAMN HALO GAME.

Well, to be fair, the new setting and enemies in halo 4 look nice and all... but no firefight and killstreaks? F*ck.

That Spartan Ops looks cool... I just don't want to get shafted like a lem during 2011 by Bungie jr. to shaft me by making future additions to Spartan Ops to cost $$$. I got shafted enough when Halo 3's MP was cut by 4/5ths when you didn't want to buy their sh*tty excuse for DLC. F*ck you Bungie, and f*ck your bastard child 343. Don't f*ck me over.

*le sigh* what's next.

Oh yeah, As of August 13th of this year I am unemployed until August 22nd of the same year. You see our clinic is moving to a further away area (for those that are unaware I work at a Vet Clinic as front desk/take care of animals staying there). It kind of sucks because it's gonna cost a lot more on gas and there's no KFC next to this one (There is a Jamba Juice though :3) But hey, 9 days where I don't have to worry about work... yay! :P

In other news

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Made me lol.

In other other news these **** ass legend of whatever the f*ck she's called need to stop cluttering my Funnyjunk and /insertletterher/ with their crybaby bullsh*t. Waaahh some girl lost her bending powers, no one cares, it's a sh*tty cartoon. Even the movie was better. You guys are literally worse than the MLP fanbase, and that's saying something.

On that note why can't we just say 4ch(wedgbdfsbk)an? Whose genius idea was that? GG Admins

In other other other other efhsorhsgreopi0ghd news I haz a new banner. Mostly just to promote South Park The Stick of Truth, which most of you idiots will pass up over sh*tty games like Bioshock infinite and Mass Effect DLC....

Whatever, I'm all out of rant juice and I've made enough of you mad so until next time adios or whatever. Screw you guys I'm going home.

E3 2012 Review

by on

Meh.

.....

Okay fine I'll divulge a bit more into this.

While there's still Showcases and demos and blah blah blah going on it's fairly safe to assume game announcements are done. Nintendo still has a 3DS conference tomorrow but who cares.

Anywho

This year's E3 was terrible. No, not because it sparked the whole unfunny "MY BODY IS REDY HURR" Plague, no not because HL3 wasn't shown (still hurts.... :( ) but because this year's E3 did something I didn't even know was possible.

They actually managed to lower my hype for this year.

How the f*ck do you manage that when the whole conference is based around.....hyping and revealing games? :?

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No clue.

2012 Games I was hyping before E3

  • Resident Evil 6
  • Halo 4
  • Hitman: Absolution
  • The Last of Us
  • Black Ops 2
  • Sly 4

2012 Games I am hyping after E3

  • Halo 4
  • Last of Us
  • Sly 4

Hitman is reduced to rent status.

Black ops 2 took what was a good idea (futuristic CoD) and made it seem EXACTLY like any and every other CoD. Take the BO2 from the title and slap a MW3 and no one would be able to tell the difference.

RE6 is a Third person Shooter now with lame action and an even lamer Leon.... good going Capcom.

Even Nintendo couldn't hype me for their Rii-U or whatever it's called.

"B-B But Watch Dogs Slashless!"

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Nothing about that game (besides the graphics) is impressive. I can bet money on this, Watch Dogs will be a complete mess of a game with too many gameplay elements that don't blend well with the actual game.

"YOU CAN'T SAY THAT SLASHLESS, U ONLY SAW A 10 MINUTE DEMO"

Ah, we can circle jerk a game to death with little info, but we certainly can't bash it. Lol.

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Well Sony... at least you're not trying to hide the fact this game's a SSB ripoff. (Well.. anyone who was denying that it was is simply delusional)

Yay more Gears. Now you can play the same exact (sh*tty) game you played when you purchased Gears 3, but now Cole and Baird! Yaaaaaay!

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Nice try EPIC jr. (A.KA. People Can Fly)

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Halo 4's new Metroid Prime inspired design looks great, and it'll no doubt be an amazing experience SP/MP wise.

The Last of Us is looking to be the game with the best graphics on consoles, with intense gameplay and elements (like the health bar and inventory system) that make me giddy with glee.

What little of Sly 4 was shown looked promising.... too bad Sony opted out of showing the game at their ACTUAL conference. Instead we get a sh*tty Move game based off of an even sh*ttier book series.

And South Park the Game......(brought to us by GODsidian)

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Game of the f*cking year people. Get your wallets (and kleenex) ready.

Overall, this year's E3 gets a D+. Hey.. that's a passing grade in some (sh*tty) schools!

Also.... no GTAV Release Date :cry:

MGS4, Why the hate?

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On June 12th, 2008, something rare happened. Something happened that not a single person could have ever predicted happened. Something strange, out of the ordinary, bizarre. Something that f*cked with the minds of gamers across the world, from Hong Kong, Japan to Tokyo, China.

The Playstation 3 got an above-average exclusive.

:o

:o

:o

:o

:shock:

Yes, it was 2 years in the making but it finally happened. yet this particular game was not just above-average.

It was amazing. Magnificent. The Titanic of Video Gaming. A true Masterpiece in every sense of the word.

It was

mgs3.jpg&sa=X&ei=X7jCT6vsAeSkiQLHhbiACA&

.

.

.

.

.

.

Such beauty, such quality, such gloriousness.(So good I have to make up words to describe it)

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Hideo Kojima proved that he can do the impossible, top Metal Gear Solid 2. he tried with 3 though he fell short. Yet with Metal Gear Solid 4, he went above and beyond. I normally save my God bless You's for GODsidian Entertainment yet, I'm breaking that rule.

God bless you Kojima. God bless you.

Now of course, this game wasn't universally praised.(as it should have been) It was hated on and bashed by these so-called "Metal gear Solid" fans.

Yet these MGS4 haters aren't MGS fans at all, they're simply blind. Yet have no fear, I have been known to cure such an impairment. To cure your blindness, you are going to have to heighten your other senses such as hearing and taste. Don't worry about heightening touch though, I'll be in charge of the touching around here.

*cough* cough*

Moving on.........

Let's start off by looking at one of the numerous (bullsh*t) complains these drooling vermin spew.

"Metal Gear Solid 4 sux, too long cutscenes."

This is my favorite one, and the funniest. Because it's as if these pseudo-MGS fans aren't even trying.

Complaining about length of cutscenes in a Metal Gear Solid game........ :lol:

This Forza game has too much driving!

This Grand Theft Auto game has too much killing!

This Call of Duty game has too much shooting!

This Mass Effect game has too much crap.

Let's get this straight. ALL Metal Gear Solid games are cutscene heavy. All of 'em. Metal Gear Solid 4 isn't some crazy exception, it's fitting the norm of its franchise.

Actually, scratch that, it wasn't filling the norm.

It went ABOVE AND BEYOND the norm of its respective franchise.4ucpn68.gif

Normally, in the MGS franchise, the game is filled with lengthy cutscenes that, while they are entertaining, feel as if they drag on a bit much.

Not Metal Gear Solid 4.

Metal Gear Solid 4's cutscenes leave you on the edge of your seat with their breathtaking visuals, animation, and tensity. Your breathing isn't becoming heavy because you're exercising tubby, it's because Kojima writers and artists are just THAT DAMN GOOD. ;)

Now, moving on. Here's another argument these pseudo-MGS fans put out.

"Waaah...MGS4 Too cheesy"

.....

.....

.....

.....

......

.....

....

:|

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Smack yourself.

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ALL MGS games are cheesy. Like before, MGS4 isn't just some "crazy exception"

All of them.

And who says cheese can't be great?

Kojima writers articulate this cheese that comes out in a way that makes the audience, laugh, cry, and become amazed.

Since most MGS4 haters still won't get it, I'm nice enough to provide a small little picture example to help their small little brains understand.

MGS4 Cheese:

1426855_f496.jpg&sa=X&ei=eb7CT4f1IYiViQL

Final fantasy cheese:

vermont%20cheese.jpg&sa=X&ei=o77CT7yaAqq

Now that we're done with MGS4 haters pathetic arguments, let's move onto why MGS4 is the greatest isntallment in the MGS franchise. Shall we?

  • Fantastic Online Mode in MGO, if it weren't for halo reach it would have the best MP out there
  • Other than Demon/Dark Souls it has the greatest Boss Fights this generation. Liquid Snake vs Solid Snake is the most epic moment in video gaming history.
  • Expanded gameplay from previous installments, play as a fuill on guns-blazed character, a sniper, a stealth soldier, anyway you want. Drebin's Shop and the IPOD are both excellent additions to the MGS Franchise.
  • The most intense action filled cutscenes/gameplay in video gaming

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6bvk5r4.gif

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  • The greatest ending in video game history.
  • Refined stealth elements and gunplay.
  • Answers all (True) MGS fans queries
  • And most of all

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OLD SNAKE

He kicks f*cking ass.

So as you can now see, after I've so humbly ejaculated my facts onto you(And hopefully you swallowed them), MGS4 is amazing. Best game in the franchise. Third best game of all time. Second best this gen.

You blind folk can now see the light. And it is beautiful, don't you agree? :)

Facts with Slashless: Alpha Protocol sh*ts on Mass Effect 3.

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Welcome my fellow posters. You've arrived here one way or another, so why don't you just take a seat and enjoy the pure facts and truth I am about to lay onto you.

The following will be "Too long; didn't read" for the lower life forms we call Biodrones, but for those willing to accept the truth I bring to you, bless your soul and read on.

FACTS WITH SLASHLESS

Entry One: Alpha Protocol is undeniably better than Mass Effect 3

__________________________________________________________________________

Yes I realise within the first couple of sentences I've already made quite a few cry tears of pain and rage, but trust me, it's for the greater good. For gaming. For the future of quality RPG's. For our lord and savior GODsidian Entertainment.

Actually, the title of this entry is very misleading. Alpha Protocol isn't better than Mass Effect 3. It's better than Mass Effect 1, 2 and 3. Though I'll admit, being better than Mass Effect really isn't a boastful accomplishment. Yet it still needs to be said, because there is this delusional vision by the gaming industry and gamers alike that quite the opposite is true; Mass Effect being the better game than Alpha Protocol.

Let's get one thing straight. Mass Effect isn't at all good. Which, would be acceptable if it wasn't killing the beloved RPG genre gamers have cherished for years and years. Bioware and EA single handily managed to change the gaming industry's definition of an RPG. RPG's require choices that can somewhat affect the game playthrough. This must happen enough to leave multiple different playthroughs for gamers. GTAIV isn't an RPG just because it has minor branching paths in the game, simply because there's only one that actually affects the ending. And is Grand Theft Auto 4 considered an RPG by the gaming industry? Of course not. It's recognized as a high-quality Open World title brought to us by the amazing developers as R*. So then why is it Mass Effect 3 is recognized as one, when literally there is:

  • 0 replayabilty
  • Barely any choices that affect the playthrough in any significant way.
  • Has a game mechanic(Shooting) that severely outshines its 'supposed' one?( Role Playing)

Is it because Bioware/EA said it was an RPG? Oh please, grow a god(sidian) damn backbone gamers. If Activision released their next Call of Duty game and titled it a "Tactical Strategy Shooter" gamers would be up in arms flailing their flabby arms in the air complaining about such an atrocity.

So why does Bioware get away with it with Mass Effect? Please help me understand. I may be a beacon of knowledge and facts but even I have my limits of understanding.

Let's take a look at one of Mass Effect's RPG Mechanics: Its Dialogue System.

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Oh f*ck me that's awful. Please tell me it doesn't get any worse than thi-

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.......

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...them RPG mechanics and choices are at "Fool" force I see.

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:lol:

Sex or no sex Shepard, that is the question.

And if you're a fan of this game, the latter will always apply to you.

Now let's take a look at Alpha Protocol, a game that's better than Mass Effect.

Alpha Protocol incorporates a dialogue system that is undeniably better than Mass Effect's.

Not only does this dialogue system have, well, actual choices in it but it's timed so you can take your sweet little time deciding the outcomes of each response. It's now or never.

Also, Alpha Protocol doesn't tell you what you're choosing your character to say. It just lets you know what the tone is. So you can't play as a good character just for the f*ck of it. You'll have to decide(with the limited time you have) how which tone will affect the situation. (And trust me, each tone will affect the situation very differently) This is the perfect dialogue system for RPG's, and it's going to go unused? Why? Because devs are going to look at Bioware and think "Oh that seemed to work with gamers, so let's do a half-assed job too!!!" And thus RPG's will from now on be poorly done due to YOU as gamers supporting such shady/sh*tty tactics. Kiss your quality RPG's good-bye folks. Do you feel good now knowing you're the sole cause of this epidemic of low quality RPG's? You should feel terrible, scum.

Now, AP's dialogue system isn't the only reason it sh*ts on ME. There's also combat variety, something ME COMPLETELY lacks.

You wanna be a technical dude in ME? Too bad, here's a gun, shoot those bad guys.

You wanna be a Sneaky dude in ME? Too bad, here's a gun, shoot those bad guys.

You want to shoot bad guys? Play f*cking CoD, a game designed for that.

AP on the other hand implements a system in which you can play the game any way your heart desires, Martial Arts, weapons, Stealth, Sabotage, these are just the few of many ways you can tackle your enemy.

Let's not forget the fact AP has quality writing(as do all GODsidian games), numerous amounts of playthroughs and characters worth a damn. The only thing Mass Effect has over AP is its cover system(which is still meh) and maybe the setting.

"B-but Mass Effect 3 is longer than AP."

And ME3 offers ONE unique playthrough.

Let's do some basic math folks, (I'm assuming you Biodrones can do basic math.... actually that might be giving you morons too much credit)

ME3 Campaign= 40 hours (being damn generous there)

AP Campaign = 20 HOURS

Number of unique playthroughs in ME3=1 (No different colors do not = unique playthrough)

Number of unique playthroughs in AP = At least 10

ME= 40 Hours

AP= 200 Hours.

Yeah, Mass Effect 3 is totally longer.

40>200 amirite folks.

"B-but AP is teh glitchiez!! :cry:"

Um... so is Mass Effect... :? AP's glitches only go more noticed due to its dev being well known for glitchy games and AP being a lesser known title.

"B-but teh graphics"

Oh please you vile cretin. Graphics affect the game 0%. Go to the nearest Art Museum if you want to look at something pretty. Don't look at the mirror though.

_____________________________________________________________

There are numerous other things I'd like to touch upon but Blogs are limited to a certain word count and I've had enough fact giving for one day. Remember children, eat your veggies and brush your teeth and you can grow up smart and strong like me.

And Bless

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Our saviors of gaming.

Phone Interview With Legend PNF

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I recently had the pleasure of having an interview with the (in)famous System Wars poster Project Natal Fan. Well, actually, the only pleasure I received from the interview was him hanging up at the end. But here it is ladies and gentlemen and Gamespot Admins. A very special interview with a very... "special" man.

/-: Hey it is my pleasure to have the chance to interview one of the most famous systemwars poster, thank you for your time, should I call you PNF or Delusional Lem?

DL: Uh... PNF....

/-: Delusional lem it is.

DL: But... I said-

/-: Yeah yeah I gave you the false illusion of choice, I learned it from Mass Effect. Anyway it's nice to speak with such a legend. You back on System Wars, unbanned?

DL: Uh... yes.

/-: Damn it

DL: But I don't think I'll be visiting System Wars anytime soon bec-

/-: Good. Next question, how is the Kinect lagging? Oh sorry, I mean going?

DL: It's going great, right now I'm really pleased with the tech looking foward to the hybrid games that are coming out Steel Battalion, and RYSE. I am really looking foward to Kinect 2, as the specs on that have me really excited, but overall im happy with Kinectand what it has done, its changed the game, like I said, the gamechanger.

/-: Indeed, it could turn the best of games to crap, if that's not a gamechanger I don't know what is. Next question: how many people like you predicted the sheer suck-cess of Kinect like you did? Here or otherwise?

DL: Maybe a few MS execs, but I was a lone cowboy and took alot of ripping when I said it would be the ultimate success it was, and then the day came when it was released, and these guys ate their words and the legend of PNF was born, they hate me still to this day, I still get hatemail, I get PSN messages from this clone1 loser cursing me out, you would be surprised at how many people were upset with my great foresight. All I can say is keep the hate coming, you are gonna hate it more when Kinect 2 is dominating your living room, and you will try hard not to love that awesome piece of tech.

/-:

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--h-huh oh, yeah cool. Um, how's the uh wife?

DL: HOT

/-: Oh well then you better turn her off, Xboxes are well known to overheat and RRoD very easy. You might an hero on us if that happened. Actually, never mind leave the Xbox on. Uh, any System Wars posters you like?

DL: LosingEnds and ForzaGearsFace

/-: Always new you were narcissistic.

DL: What's that mean?

/-: You're gonna have to wait until Sesamee Street Kinect 2 comes out before you'll learn such big words. Um, how's the job?

DL: FiOS is hitting off, but still no -

/-: I don't care. That's all the time we have today folks.

DL: Folks? it's just me..

/-: And Losingends, and ForzaGearsFace, and Abonsabo. Oh wait, you were right the first time. Tune in next week folks where I won't be doing another interview because I can only get a hold of dumb people. Good night, good luck, and don't forget to pray to GODsidian Entertainment before eating and going to bed.

Obsidian is better than you.

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Anyone who visits System Wars knows I'm a Fallout fan. Fallout Video Games, Fallout bobbleheads, Fallout Posters, Fallout blankets, I have it all.

Now,in 2010, Obsidian Entertainment releases the latest installment of the Fallout franchise, "Fallout: New Vegas"

Now, like I stated before, anybody who frequents System Wars knows I won't shut up about this damn game. :lol:

Anyway, when Fallout New Vegas released it was met with great sales figures and below expected reviews. Naturally being the huge Fallout fan I am, I camped out in front of my local Gamespot 3 days ahead so i could get my pre-order day one. I even met a Homeless Man named Taylor. Nice guy.

As soon as I popped this sucker in the 360 I was strapped in and ready to play the bad boy. Now, previously, I was a major Fallout 3 nerd, wouldn't shut up about it when discussing it on IGN board/real life. So naturally at first, I would be disappointed with the game regardless of the quality. Immediatly thought after an hour or two "Man what a disappointment, doesn't hold a candle to Fallout 3"

Oh how wrong I was. After playing again a week later, I realised something. I was blinded by nostalgia. This game wasn't a disappointment, far from it. It outdid all previous Fallout titles, after I removed my fanboy goggles I realised this. Besides atmosphere, this game outperformed Fallout 3 in every single way.

Now, originally I was unaware of Obsidian,. So, after playing this game for an hour or fifty, I did a little research on what other titles Obsidian made.

I was stunned.

Alpha Protocol, Neverwind Nights 2, KOTOR2

All three of these games were huge favorites of mine.

"Wow" I thought to myself. "I must spread the word of these devs awesomness"

So I did. I told my friends, my family, my girlfriend who didn't even know what a Fallout was, everyone. I even told my dog, but he only plays Call of Duty. Casual b*tch.

But, whenever I mentioned Obsidian on Gamespot, I was usually met with "LOL THEY CAN'T POLISH GAMES"

or

"THERE GAMES SUCK LOLOLOLOLOL"

Yet, these same people turn around and praise Fallout 3, Skyrim, Mass Effect as if doing so would get them more women then Hugh Hefner.

All the arguments used for telling me why exactly Obsidian are terrible devs....can be applied to most Bethesda tiels and the Mass Effect series.

"lolololololol can't polish their games for crap."

Yes.... because Bethesda games are Nintendo level polished, in fact they surpass Nintendo in video game po-

Okay I can't say any of that with a straight face :lol:

And Mass Effetc 1 and 2...so unglit-

Would have to ****fy myself as a Biodrone in order to believe that.

Continuing

"LMAO OBSIDIAN'S GAME ANIMATION SUCKS"

And Fallout 3 and New Vegas have practically the same animation, so that arguments dead as well.

Last but least, my personal favorite drivel from Obsidian haters. (mostly when talking about Alpha Protocol and New Vegas)

"GUNPLAY IS WEAKSAUCE BRO"

It's an RPG you degenerate monkey. Shooting is only one of many parts of such games, and let's ignore the fact that Mass effect's shooting mechanics are so outdated Stonewall Jackson is familiar with the process.Oblivion and Skyrim's combat is weaker than a terminal cancer patient.

So you see ladies, ALL arguments as to why Obsidian titles suck CAN be redirected at Bethesda and Bioware.

Now, let's move on to WHY Obsidian is the better dev.

Obsidian ALWAYS faces challenges when they are developing titles. Limited budget, being f*cked over by Publishers, Massive staff layoffs ect.

Yet, they STILL produce high quality titles, that not only match but surpass titles that were developed by companies not facing problems. That shows determination and resilience, two traits I approve of.

Second, the pure gameplay variety of their titles is astounding. Mass Effect has about as much variety as a flash mob, though I do admit Skyrim is excellent with gameplay variety.

Third, DLC. And no, biodrones, by that I don't mean releasing a new ending in DLC because the original sucked harder than a drunk college girl at a frat party. I mean releasing HIGH QUALITY DLC (yes there's such a thing :o )

This right here, is the best thing you can download. Better than celebrity sex tapes. If there was a download to cure AIDS Old World Blues would outmatch it.

The Writing, is amazing. Now, I know you Bethesda and Bioware fans think quality writing= OH MY GOD WE'RE BEING ATTACKED SAVE US

But, in the real world, quality writing is...Old World Blues. I'd argue this game has more quality writing in it than all other video games.

But the quality writing is not exclusive to Old World Blues, Alpha Protocol, new Vegas, and to an extent KOTOR 2 all share this same quality. Bethesda and Bioware titles? My 3 year old nephew could outwrite them.

And finally, why Obsidian > Bioware Bethesda and all other devs out there, the content. But not just the content.

The pure, high quality content. You can play Fallout New Vegas 100 times and get totally different playthroughs each time. How man colors, er, I mean endings does Mass Effect 3 have? Not nearly as much. Fallout 3 had 3 different playthroughs, Good, bad, and neutral, which was just a slight variation of good. heck I'd argue Bioshock offered more in depth endings than Fallout 3.

That, my children, is why Obsidian are simply the greatest devs out there. Yes there games are glitchy, there animation is outdated. But none of that matters when you're playing the high quality titles Obsidian puts out.

"But Mr. King, what is next on Obsidian's plate???"

Well my plebeian acquaintance, I'll tell you.

South Park The Game, the best TV show mixed with the best Developers. Like sex on the moon.

"But, Slash, all other South Park games sucked major dong!"

Well you see my slow friend, all other South Park games WEREN'T made by Obsidian, and none of them were written and overlooked by

Matt Stone and Trey Parker, making SURE, this game doesn't "suck dong" ;)

Get your wallets out folks, and request a pre order for South Park The Game.

Brought to you by Obsidian.

God bless you.

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