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Shame-usBlackley Blog

Uncharted and Tomb Raider

You wanna know something sad? I just realized that the demo for the new Tomb Raider game has more puzzles than both Uncharted games in their entirety.

I've long said that Uncharted is an action/shooter, NOT an adventure, and the Tomb Raider reboot proves it. Uncharted is pretty, and has some great settings, but it is NOT an adventure. Seeing the new Tomb Raider makes me realize just how much of a hole there has been in the adventure genre. Even though I like what Naughty Dog did with Uncharted, I think they missed a huge opportunity to make it something more than it is, which is essentially a Gears of War clone.

It'll be nice to have a real adventure game to play. Too bad Tomb Raider doesn't hit until 2012.

Hmmmm, hmmm, hmmmmm!!!! I just loves me a crap sandwich.

Or, at least, the poor souls who paid $150 for a Kinect do.

Try not to get any of that corn on your collars, kids....

A giant, laggy, s***-eating mess. This is one of their BIG games for the system that is going to be shown this E3. Isn't it great watching a system go down the toilet bowl? Wheeeeeeeeeeee! Hey, I just came up with another BIG game idea for Kinect... it's called Toilet Bowl Adventures. You sail down the bowl on giant turds watching 5 years of hard-won progress sail along right beside you. Sounds like fun, right? Oh hells yeah!!! Wheeeeeeeeee!

PS Vita

As increasing evidence begins to point to Sony's next overpowered, overpriced mistake being called the Vita. The latest evidence coming from the name appearing on Sony's E3 site list before being promptly taken down. Might I suggest a few other names that would be more befitting to the modern day Playstation brand? Here we go:

The PS ACME (named after the devices in the old Warner Brothers cartoons that never did what they were supposed to do).

The PS FUBAR. Ask a veteran. :)

Or my personal favorite, and perhaps closest phonetically to the currently planned nomenclature, the PS VAGINA Actually that word is far too cool denotatively to indicate ANYTHING to do with modern Sony, but we'll leave it on for grins.

But seriously, has Sony learned nothing? It's like they've taken the worst parts of the PS3 strategy and made it worse by letting some hipster handle the name. Hearing the name "VITA," I keep envisioning a juicer that doesn't work very well with a celebrity endorsement splashed on the side. "THE NEW VITA BY JACK LALANNE!! BUY IT NOW!!! JUST 5 EQUAL PAYMENTS OF $99.95! OPERATORS NOW STANDING BY."

"But VITA MEANZ LYFE IN I-TALIAN!!!!11" the PS fans from Akron scream. Awesome, so does vagina I suppose. Should sell a lot of systems in Italy, one of the smallest markets on the planet.

No, Sony.

Goddamn, just..... no.

EDIT: And no, the name change did not suddenly sour me on a planned purchase. I was never going to buy the next Playstation Anything, regardless of what its final name is or was. I'm just marvelling at how bad it really is.

Madden Warfare 3

Yep. It's the shooter equivalent of John Madden football -- same s***, different toilet.

I really love teh "3" added in the names of the different countries in the teaser trailer though, guys -- that makes you SO hardcor3!

But yeah, I'm done with this series. MW2 underwhelmed, and now the thing just seems to show up every Thanksgiving, like the uncle no one ever sees except during the holidays and who gets drunk and tries to piss on the turkey. So sad watching something that was once great bloat itself out on stage in a drugged-out stupor, like Elvis when he did "In The Ghetto."

Bottom line: I don't need to pay $60 to see what will happen in Madden Warfare 3 -- I already played that s*** last year, and it sucked. Or was that the year prior? I've lost count.

Just Don't Call it a Hate Crime

Link.

So much wrong here. Three girls on one. The "male" employees (and I make that loose distinction based solely on gender attributes instead of actions) sit there and film it. A girl gets beaten to the point of seizures and the only person who steps up to help is an old lady?

The males (and again, my little niece has a bigger figurative dick than the vaginas in this video masquerading as men) watch the whole thing go down and all they can do is grab their cell phones and film it and say,"She's bleedin' yo!"

Jesus f***** wept. We're doomed. America has officially jumped the shark.

UPDATE: McDonald's employee who filmed the video tries to rationalize and justify the entire incident by claiming that the woman being beat up was actually a man using the women's restroom, as if that makes it okay. This is called a "transgendered person" or a "cross-dresser," and these people (if that is what the victim actually is) usually live their lives according to the gender role they feel most comfortable with. So it would not at all be uncommon to see a cross-dressing man using a woman's restroom. So sad that a young black man doesn't see the sad irony in a person being victimized because of something they are, when so many of his ancestors faced the same kind of blind ignorance. Who knows if this is the case? What is becoming clear is that this little douchebag is a sad poster-boy for his race, the human race, and men in general. Sorry, little dude, the "it's okay that she got beat up because it was really a dude with a bra on" doesn't fly. A hundred years ago, many African-American men and women were beaten and killed with exactly the same mindset, just with skin color being the deciding factor instead of gender. I think this sums it up best....

McDonald's: i'm lovin' it.

Japan

It's soul-crushing to watch what's going on over there. The resilience and humanitarian spirit I see out of the Japanese people during this tragedy is inspirational to say the least -- no rioting, no s***-talking, no insanity. Just the same quiet, insular perseverance that has become a hallmark of the Japanese culture.

I'm taking a moment of silence for the poor souls who have died and a prayer that Japan rebuilds just as fast it was destroyed.

If you have the means, send them a few bucks. Japan is one of the nicest, most stable nations on this goddamned earth anymore. By and large, they don't mess with anybody, and they never have their hands out for freebies (like the disgusting fatties here in America who want to sit on their dead ass and have everything given to them.)

If anyone deserves help, it's Japan. Seriously, throw a couple of bucks their way -- because their people are too hard-working and proud to ask for it. More importantly, keep them in your prayers.