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Shame-usBlackley Blog

Went and saw The Avengers...

It's pretty standard shlocky comic book fare, to be honest. However, it does feature one Scarlett Johansson, and more specifically, Scarlett Johansson's deliciously curvaceous heart-shaped booty, clad in hero suit spandex, which pretty much guaranteed that I felt I got my money's worth. Seriously, that woman is so damn fine.

Anyway, yeah, The Avengers -- shlocky, but harmless in a summer blockbuster kind of way. The theatre was empty, though, so I suspect the reason it Hulk-smashed (the Hulk was the best part of the film that didn't involve Johansson, btw) all kinds of records was because a bunch of basement dwellers went to see it three or four times (or however long their wallets could withstand, which can be a while as basement dwellers only have three other staples to spend money on in the form of porn, Taco Bell, and video games) and jacked the numbers up.

But the reason I wrote this blog was not to ramble on about the Avengers movie or Scarlett's round behind, I wrote it to talk about how fuc*ing EPIC Ridley Scott's Prometheus looks. OHMYGOD. Day fuc*ing one, folks.

Microsoft E3 Conference June 4th, 2012

So, just 49 days or so until we get to see Don Mattrick stroll around on stage and talk like a Disney character while showing a bunch of shi*ty Kinect games and hardly anything anyone with a brain wants to play. He'll say things like "Gawrsh, guyz, doesn't that shore look like fun, hyuck hyuck?" I fuc*ing hate that guy. Bring back Peter Moore.

Are you guys PUMPED UP or what?

God, I love Microsoft these days. They remind of Sony, right after they stuck their figurative head up their ass. So sad to see such a once great system reduced to doing what is the video game equivalent of tentacle porn.

Binary Domain

Ok, so here's the deal on Binary Domain.

Better shooter than... Gears 3.

Better story than... Metal Gear Solid 4.

Better bosses than... both the above.

Can't wait for... a sequel.

Metal Gear Solid Collection HD

So I bought it for many reasons, most of all to replay Snake Eater, which I still feel is one of the top five games of all time. It was the anti-MGS4 -- everything in MGS3 coalesced into something special, and the ending is, I maintain, the best goddamn ending in the history of this hobby. It's like a fireworks show, everything keeps getting bigger and better, and it culminates in this awesomely patriotic ending that makes you realize that Big Boss and his mentor make Solid Snake look, well, not so Solid. As much as many people believe otherwise, the series really isn't about Solid so much as it is about Naked Snake. And while it was already one of the prettiest games on the PS2, it looks AMAZING in HD and runs silky smooth. It's really worth the price of admission for this game alone. Besides, Snake looks badass in an eyepatch, no?

I also checked out MGS2, which doesn't have the immediate benefits of going to HD that Snake Eater does. Perhaps it's because the environments are more sterile compared to the gorgeous jungle, but even the tanker scene didn't seem a WHOLE lot better than the last time I played through Sons of Liberty. And while MGS3 has the best ending of any game in the series, MGS2's title movie is f***ing ridiculous it's so good. The music especially. It's too bad the story is so f***ing stupid, because mechanically, it's a wonderful, wonderful game. This is the game that caused MGS4 to suck, and I can't say I really know what happened with Kojima here where he could make a piece of s*** story like Sons of Liberty and then come back and pen the best thing he's ever written with Snake Eater. Oh well, it'll still be fun to go back through it again as long as I skip the cutscenes.

I don't know anything about Peace Walker. I blacked this game out for many reasons when it was originally released. First, it was a PSP game, and the only Metal Gear on PSP was Portable Ops, which was sewage. Second, the Peace Walker name sounded uninteresting to me. Third, the only trailer I saw for it had a Japanese girl in a school outfit singing and well, that was kind of it. Fourth, it came out after I played MGS4, which was a giant letdown, and turned me away from the entire series for a while. I have heard people say PW is a good game, but most of those people also argue and try to tell me how awesome MGS4 was. I will definitely play the game now that I have it, but I will do so somewhat apprehensively, mostly because I believe Kojima has flat run out of ideas and that he should have stopped making Metal Gear games while the series was still untarnished, or at least taken a long break from them as he did during the time between Metal Gear 2 and Metal Gear Solid. I feel like Kojima has become a pompous butthole, someone who likes hearing himself talk to the point where it's actually hurt his bottom line. In a way, the series has become more about Kojima than it has about the lofty themes and interesting characters it once alluded to, like nuclear proliferation and cloning. That's too bad, because frankly, those subjects are more interesting than he is. Don't believe me? How many game boxes refer to their creators on the back as legendary? Well, this game does. In the bulletpoints, it says, "Original design by Hideo Kojima, video game icon."


Oh well, I'll still have fun playing through them, and maybe I'll get lucky and Peace Walker will actually turn out okay. Either way, having a hi-def version of what may be the best game ever made makes it all the easier to pretend MGS4 never really happened.

It's the Whole "Not Really Owning It" Thing

Today we see further proof why digital distribution is not going to replace hard copy sales in the near future.

Case in point.

Yeah, yeah, I know. If you want to get technical, you really don't ever OWN any of the software you buy. But this... this smacks of fascism, and I don't like it. Neither should you. That's why I'm going to ask you to not support the Xbox version of Crysis and instead buy the PS3 version.

I don't think ANY manufacturer, especially in this day and age, where consoles have failed multiple times over for thousands of people, should be able to make a customer feel like a criminal if they aren't playing a game that they paid good money for on the system that purchased the title originally.

For starters, the customer is doing the developer and publisher a FAVOR by not requiring them to put a hard copy on the shelf that would have had to have been physically made, shipped, and stocked. Not to mention that bit of cut that retailers usually get that is being cut out of the equation.

Secondly, if I buy a disc copy of the game, I can play it on whoever's goddamn system I like. That's how it has always been, and the market was just fine under such a method of distribution. Not to mention that I can't take digital copies of the game with me to, say, a summer home.

Third, customers should not ever have to subscribe to any service to play a game they bought through legal means.

As we go into the final years of this generation and I look back at how much content I bought digitally, I'm now reminded that in the blink of an eye, any of these manufacturers can take games and content I bought legally away from me. And there's not a goddamn thing I can do about it. Because of this, I plan to cease all digital purchases until this policy is reversed. Microsoft has been tone-deaf for a good while now, so speaking to them with my wallet is the only means of communication left.