User Reviews & Ratings

Average Score 6.02/10

Total of 65 user reviews spread across 65 releases

  1. 10
    (0)
  2. 9
    (2)
  3. 8
    (6)
  4. 7
    (12)
  5. 6
    (15)
  6. 5
    (21)
  7. 4
    (5)
  8. 3
    (4)
  9. 2
    (0)
  10. 1
    (0)
  • User Rating 8
    Don't hit the brakes at the Finish LINE

    Mario Kart 7

    Rated on February 09, 2014 by Rotondi

    Don't hit the brakes at the Finish LINE

    I don't drink anymore. Well, almost never. I'm not exactly sure why I stopped. If I had to point my finger at something I'd probably point it at the fact that I've also stopped "going out." There's no...

    1 out of 1 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 8
    Plumbing is where the Money's at

    Super Mario 3D Land

    Rated on November 19, 2013 by Rotondi

    Plumbing is where the Money's at

    Talking about the past is a hit or miss. I'd rather avoid it all together. I was on a date last night and she wanted to know about everything. Does it matter? I'm here in front of you babe. What you s...

    1 out of 1 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 3
    Knacking for A Better Day

    Knack

    Rated on November 17, 2013 by Rotondi

    Knacking for A Better Day

    I work as a technician and as a technician you tend to notice the quality of other technicians work. Were the cables wired and managed properly, the equipment set level, cuts made precise or sloppy. T...

    3 out of 8 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5
    Batman will Spank it around town

    Batman: Arkham Origins

    Rated on October 26, 2013 by Rotondi

    Batman will Spank it around town

    Sometimes when I get sick I feel the need to head into the bathroom to dump out my illness. My mom come looking for me if I take too long. Just leave me alone, I tell her, this is my time with the toi...

    2 out of 3 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5
    A Massive [Boring] Experience Smothered All Over Your Face

    Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (Platinum)

    Rated on October 06, 2013 by Rotondi

    A Massive [Boring] Experience Smothered All Over Your Face

    In the land before time, video games had a hard time being boring. Even then when a game wasn't exactly good, it was still tough to really go ahead and call that game particularly boring. We more j...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5
    Average Joe Wants His Averageness Back

    Spec Ops: The Line

    Rated on September 29, 2013 by Rotondi

    Average Joe Wants His Averageness Back

    Sometimes you start something and you can't finish it. Maybe that something is some crappy chinese food, maybe it's a boring movie, maybe that something is high school. While I did finish high schoo...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 6
    Bro's Don't Leave Home Without It

    Grand Theft Auto V

    Rated on September 21, 2013 by Rotondi

    Bro's Don't Leave Home Without It

    (A small review of the most overrated game of the generation) Getting from here to there can be a drag, especially if you're an unmotivated twat like myself. I took for granted how nice my last ap...

    7 out of 10 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5.5
    It Doesn't Work So Well in the Dark

    Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Blacklist

    Rated on August 27, 2013 by Rotondi

    It Doesn't Work So Well in the Dark

    I typically watch the person cooking, then eat what the person who was cooking cooked. I cheer them on a long the way and every now and then say the obligatory, "You need any help?" Then they say no...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 3.5
    Stuck Inside The Fence of "What the Hell is This Crap?"

    The Bureau: XCOM Declassified

    Rated on August 22, 2013 by Rotondi

    Stuck Inside The Fence of "What the Hell is This Crap?"

    Getting to a movie theater early is nice but then you got to figure out what to do with yourself until the trailers start. Maybe there's some interesting Ads on the screen and some trivia but that cr...

    1 out of 1 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5
    What's For Show Ain't Always Pho Sho!

    inFamous 2

    Rated on August 20, 2013 by Rotondi

    What's For Show Ain't Always Pho Sho!

    For show. A lot of things I purchase are for show. Sure they hold some other purpose but that just comes with the territory. I buy some new pants. They have to look good. Sure they keep my legs ...

    0 out of 1 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 8
    You'll Get Hooked Like a Big Tuna If You're Not Careful.

    Rogue Legacy

    Rated on August 16, 2013 by Rotondi

    You'll Get Hooked Like a Big Tuna If You're Not Careful.

    I'll tell you some of what I can see right now: This computer, my neighbor's nice, clean backyard next to my pile of junk backyard, this mornings cereal bowl, a jar of opened salsa, a banana peel, an...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 4
    Super Duper Quack Sauce

    DuckTales Remastered

    Rated on August 15, 2013 by Rotondi

    Super Duper Quack Sauce

    There's nothing better than going to your go to. I don't know what your favorite pizza spot is but I know you got one. Come game day, the day you invite all your pals over for a full day of solid ga...

    0 out of 1 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5
    Beef Jerky in a Strawberry-Banana Shake

    Gunpoint

    Rated on August 14, 2013 by Rotondi

    Beef Jerky in a Strawberry-Banana Shake

    Something about fat people. I mean, there's nothing wrong with them, obviously. But when you become close friends with them they sort of try to get you to eat the junk they're eating. Not like they...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 9
    Kyntt Underground might not keep the doctor away, but it will make you forget about that appointment you had

    Knytt Underground

    Rated on August 13, 2013 by Rotondi

    Kyntt Underground might not keep the doctor away, but it will make you forget about that appointment you had

    Rarely am I punctual with the things I got to do, though I tell people different. Especially on my resume. Oh that. You need that done? No problem. ASAP you say? No problem. I'll get that done....

    0 out of 1 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 8.5
    Things We Return to in Link, I mean Life.

    The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap

    Rated on August 09, 2013 by Rotondi

    Things We Return to in Link, I mean Life.

    There a lot of things I return to in life because I know I'm going to like them. Pasta. I absolutely love pasta. Eat that stuff whenever I can. Electronic music. It's great at dance bars, great w...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 4.5
    You'd have better control of pancake batter on a hot summer day

    Just Cause 2

    Rated on August 03, 2013 by Rotondi

    You'd have better control of pancake batter on a hot summer day

    I'm pretty sure I'm in control of my life. Though I'm not entirely too sure. My job sort of rules me. Must get the work related stuff done first or I don't get my paycheck. Without the paycheck I ...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5.5
    It's Not Good But You Can Still Have a Wank

    Tomb Raider (The Final Hours Edition)

    Rated on July 30, 2013 by Rotondi

    It's Not Good But You Can Still Have a Wank

    I've had terrible gas lately. Farting everywhere I go. I think it has something to do with my diet. To spin this whole situation into a more positive note I've gotten really good at the whole "Pull...

    0 out of 1 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5.5
    You pull out a weed, find a girthy carrot and before you know it, dinner plans have changed.

    Orcs Must Die! 2

    Rated on July 23, 2013 by Rotondi

    You pull out a weed, find a girthy carrot and before you know it, dinner plans have changed.

    So I get in bad moods sometimes when things don't go my way. Sometimes in the morning I'll be all happy and skippy like a boy with a yo-yo but then all of a sudden something will tick me off (like so...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5
    This Nazi Outback Steakhouse Just Farted.  Want to Go There?

    Metro: Last Light (Limited Edition)

    Rated on July 14, 2013 by Rotondi

    This Nazi Outback Steakhouse Just Farted. Want to Go There?

    My roommate watches a lot of TV. I mean, a lot. He DVR's pretty much everything. He'll tell me one show is good, but it's just like every other television program. It sucks. He swears by a lot of...

    0 out of 1 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 6.5
    We've all had it before, just not this far past the expiration date.

    Darksiders II

    Rated on July 10, 2013 by Rotondi

    We've all had it before, just not this far past the expiration date.

    There's a coin-up laundry about a 30 second walk from my apartment, that's where I do my clothes. Wash and Dry. A girl I'd been sleeping with came in with me once. As I was about to throw in some w...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 4.5
    After living 15 years alone in a straightjacket, you're the first girl it came across

    Retro City Rampage

    Rated on July 08, 2013 by Rotondi

    After living 15 years alone in a straightjacket, you're the first girl it came across

    I wonder if somene had been working on designing a candle that burned longer when Edison released the light bulb. Probably. Thinking up the concept of electricity is hard enough, but pulling the par...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 6.5
    Your mom wrapped up your favorite game for christmas and gave it to you again.

    The Last of Us

    Rated on June 28, 2013 by Rotondi

    Your mom wrapped up your favorite game for christmas and gave it to you again.

    I've never been one of those people that can go to the supermarket and stock-up on groceries. Someone who can just walk into a supermarket and drop two hundered bones on food for a few weeks. One re...

    4 out of 6 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 8.5
    There's No Time To Scratch Your Butt

    Dark Souls

    Rated on June 28, 2013 by Rotondi

    There's No Time To Scratch Your Butt

    I was addicted to watching movies. I couldn't stop. Probably watched a thousand flicks in three years alone. Then I stopped. Done. Shut myself off. Not because I didn't have the time to keep wat...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 4
    "Grandpa, you pulled the turkey out too soon." "No, I didn't. "

    Primordia

    Rated on June 17, 2013 by Rotondi

    "Grandpa, you pulled the turkey out too soon." "No, I didn't. "

    Grandpa thought the turkey was cooked perfectly. But it had been some time since his senses worked properly. Meanwhile his family didn't want to make him feel bad so they quickly put a bag over the ...

    0 out of 3 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 6
    You're fat and on a diet but you decide to order the juicy steak with a side of deep-fried french fries anyways.

    Super House of Dead Ninjas

    Rated on June 17, 2013 by Rotondi

    You're fat and on a diet but you decide to order the juicy steak with a side of deep-fried french fries anyways.

    I had a meal at about 4pm today. Then went out to dinner with this chick around 7. Was sort of stuffed. Should I have ordered a light dish? Yes. Did I? No. I wanted to stuff my face again. I o...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5
    An ostrich at a wedding has no place to bury its shlong

    Closure

    Rated on June 17, 2013 by Rotondi

    An ostrich at a wedding has no place to bury its shlong

    For the most part, there are certain things in this life that turn out just like you knew they would. Like a trip to the grandma's, an afternoon detention or a trip to the can. In gaming, this can b...

    0 out of 1 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5
    The top of the wedding cake eaten after the 10th anniversary dinner.

    Legend of Grimrock

    Rated on June 17, 2013 by Rotondi

    The top of the wedding cake eaten after the 10th anniversary dinner.

    Somethings get better with age, like a nice bottle of red wine. Otherthings don't, like your ability to stay hard. Take Goldeneye 64: A game that was enjoyable in its hayday but ever since has slow...

    1 out of 2 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 6
    Some oil added to the bubble bath

    LIMBO

    Rated on June 17, 2013 by Rotondi

    Some oil added to the bubble bath

    Amusement parks have those gigantic stuffed animal prizes. Not a simple feet to claim one for your own, but if you do I imagine carrying one of those fat beasts around is as convenient as trying to c...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 6
    A pair of second-hand pants that can still pick up chicks at the club

    Runner 2: Future Legend of Rhythm Alien

    Rated on June 17, 2013 by Rotondi

    A pair of second-hand pants that can still pick up chicks at the club

    Probably spend to much time thinking about what to wear when I go out. Somehow I think the choice of shirt is all that stands between me and successfully taking home a girl. Who knows. Girls have t...

    3 out of 11 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5
    Nuclear Meltdowns in the Mouth, Not in the Hand

    SpaceChem

    Rated on June 17, 2013 by Rotondi

    Nuclear Meltdowns in the Mouth, Not in the Hand

    Video games can occasionally give us that sensation of being better at something then we really are. Shooters send the message that we're ready to pack our bags and ship off for duty, sport games hav...

    0 out of 1 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 6.5
    At dinner you told your dad you want to be an artist, at which point he slams an accounting book in your face.

    The Walking Dead: Episode 1 - A New Day

    Rated on June 17, 2013 by Rotondi

    At dinner you told your dad you want to be an artist, at which point he slams an accounting book in your face.

    The thing about choices is... I think I just recently started to make them. I'm 27. And no I'm not just farting out of my mouth. Seriously. Not to say there was a specific person making choices fo...

    1 out of 2 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 7.5
    Torchlight 2 is crack.

    Torchlight II

    Rated on June 17, 2013 by Rotondi

    Torchlight 2 is crack.

    And crack, while highly addictive, is not necessarily a good thing. Video games in general are an easy thing to get addicted too. Heck, I might not play World of Warcraft religiously but I still pla...

    1 out of 3 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 7
    Minecraft is a Breath of Fresh Chest Hair

    Minecraft (Classic)

    Rated on June 17, 2013 by Rotondi

    Minecraft is a Breath of Fresh Chest Hair

    For those of you under the age of twenty-two, you'll be surprised at which of your old buddies you're still friends with as time goes on. Most of them will be gone like the wind by the time your twen...

    0 out of 1 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5.5
    Death Rally and the Death of 3 Days

    Death Rally

    Rated on June 16, 2013 by Rotondi

    Death Rally and the Death of 3 Days

    Here's a game that can hook a scumbag to a hooker who's already hooked on hookers. Yes I'm referring to me. Maybe I've been away from the gaming industry for too long to realize what a garbling mess...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5.5
    Who put that turd in the shop window?

    Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale

    Rated on June 16, 2013 by Rotondi

    Who put that turd in the shop window?

    The cool thing about many places in the world besides the West is the fact that, among other things, you can still haggle over the cost of a banana. I currently live in China and giving a shop owner ...

    0 out of 1 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 6.5
    You went into the fresh laundry and there were your sister's panties

    Antichamber

    Rated on June 16, 2013 by Rotondi

    You went into the fresh laundry and there were your sister's panties

    I grew up having my mom pretty much do everything for me, like I was some retarded, near-sighted gimp. She made my bed, did my homework, cooked me dinner, drove me pretty much anywhere I wanted to go...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5.5
    A piece of gum that's lost its flavor, but you chew it anyways

    Botanicula

    Rated on June 16, 2013 by Rotondi

    A piece of gum that's lost its flavor, but you chew it anyways

    What is "original" flavor? Is it just like sugar or corn syrup or something mixed in with some strange animal byproduct? I get that fruit flavors try to resemble the flavor of fruits (even if it is ...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 7
    The Grim Reaper's jockstrap just got bigger

    Slender

    Rated on June 12, 2013 by Rotondi

    The Grim Reaper's jockstrap just got bigger

    Some of us experience a stage in life where we live alone. It usually lands somewhere between the rooming with friends and rooming with your future spouse stages. It can tell you a lot about yourself...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5
    Makes a bad first impression but later turns out to be decent in bed

    No Time to Explain

    Rated on June 12, 2013 by Rotondi

    Makes a bad first impression but later turns out to be decent in bed

    I live in China but my Chinese is only so-so. When I go on dates, how in the world am I supposed to make a good first impression? I'm average looking, have the vocabulary of a 5 year old and the acc...

    1 out of 1 found this review helpful.
  • User Rating 5
    Looks Like We're Having Pasta Again Kids!

    NHL 13

    Rated on June 12, 2013 by Rotondi

    Looks Like We're Having Pasta Again Kids!

    Not many people grow up playing hockey, well, unless you're from Canada, Minnesota or Siberia. For me it was just one of those sports that took too much effort to get into. All this equipment is inv...

    0 out of 0 found this review helpful.