User Reviews & Ratings

Average Score 6.11/10

Total of 64 user reviews spread across 64 releases

  1. 10
    (0)
  2. 9
    (2)
  3. 8
    (8)
  4. 7
    (12)
  5. 6
    (14)
  6. 5
    (19)
  7. 4
    (5)
  8. 3
    (4)
  9. 2
    (0)
  10. 1
    (0)
  • User Rating:8
    Don't hit the brakes at the Finish LINE

    Mario Kart 7

    Don't hit the brakes at the Finish LINE

    I don't drink anymore. Well, almost never. I'm not exactly sure why I stopped. If I had to point my finger at something I'd probably point it at the fact that I've also stopped "going out." There's no point anymore. I'd ... Read Full Review

    1 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:8
    Don't hit the brakes at the Finish LINE

    Mario Kart 7

    Don't hit the brakes at the Finish LINE

    I don't drink anymore. Well, almost never. I'm not exactly sure why I stopped. If I had to point my finger at something I'd probably point it at the fact that I've also stopped "going out." There's no point anymore. I'd ... Read Full Review

    1 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:8
    Dont

    Mario Kart 7

    Dont

    I don't drink anymore. Well, almost never. I'm not exactly sure why I stopped. If I had to point my finger at something I'd probably point it at the fact that I've also stopped "going out." There's no point anymore... Read Full Review

    1 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:8
    Plumbing is where the Money's at

    Super Mario 3D Land

    Plumbing is where the Money's at

    Talking about the past is a hit or miss. I'd rather avoid it all together. I was on a date last night and she wanted to know about everything. Does it matter? I'm here in front of you babe. What you see is what you get.M... Read Full Review

    1 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:3
    Knacking for A Better Day

    Knack

    Knacking for A Better Day

    I work as a technician and as a technician you tend to notice the quality of other technicians work. Were the cables wired and managed properly, the equipment set level, cuts made precise or sloppy. Things like that. I b... Read Full Review

    3 of 8 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5
    Average Joe Wants His Averageness Back

    Spec Ops: The Line

    Average Joe Wants His Averageness Back

    Sometimes you start something and you can't finish it. Maybe that something is some crappy chinese food, maybe it's a boring movie, maybe that something is high school. While I did finish high school (thank god) there ... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5.5
    It Doesn't Work So Well in the Dark

    Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Blacklist

    It Doesn't Work So Well in the Dark

    I typically watch the person cooking, then eat what the person who was cooking cooked. I cheer them on a long the way and every now and then say the obligatory, "You need any help?" Then they say no and I go back to ma... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:3.5
    Stuck Inside The Fence of "What the Hell is This Crap?"

    The Bureau: XCOM Declassified

    Stuck Inside The Fence of "What the Hell is This Crap?"

    Getting to a movie theater early is nice but then you got to figure out what to do with yourself until the trailers start. Maybe there's some interesting Ads on the screen and some trivia but that crap doesn't cut it. ... Read Full Review

    1 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5
    What's For Show Ain't Always Pho Sho!

    inFamous 2

    What's For Show Ain't Always Pho Sho!

    For show. A lot of things I purchase are for show. Sure they hold some other purpose but that just comes with the territory. I buy some new pants. They have to look good. Sure they keep my legs and crotch warm but ... Read Full Review

    0 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:8
    You'll Get Hooked Like a Big Tuna If You're Not Careful.

    Rogue Legacy

    You'll Get Hooked Like a Big Tuna If You're Not Careful.

    I'll tell you some of what I can see right now: This computer, my neighbor's nice, clean backyard next to my pile of junk backyard, this mornings cereal bowl, a jar of opened salsa, a banana peel, and a container of TUM... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:4
    Super Duper Quack Sauce

    DuckTales Remastered

    Super Duper Quack Sauce

    There's nothing better than going to your go to. I don't know what your favorite pizza spot is but I know you got one. Come game day, the day you invite all your pals over for a full day of solid gaming, you know you'r... Read Full Review

    0 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5
    Beef Jerky in a Strawberry-Banana Shake

    Gunpoint

    Beef Jerky in a Strawberry-Banana Shake

    Something about fat people. I mean, there's nothing wrong with them, obviously. But when you become close friends with them they sort of try to get you to eat the junk they're eating. Not like they're not trying to be... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:9
    Kyntt Underground might not keep the doctor away, but it will make you forget about that appointment you had

    Knytt Underground

    Kyntt Underground might not keep the doctor away, but it will make you forget about that appointment you had

    Rarely am I punctual with the things I got to do, though I tell people different. Especially on my resume. Oh that. You need that done? No problem. ASAP you say? No problem. I'll get that done. As soon as I finis... Read Full Review

    0 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:8.5
    Things We Return to in Link, I mean Life.

    The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap

    Things We Return to in Link, I mean Life.

    There a lot of things I return to in life because I know I'm going to like them. Pasta. I absolutely love pasta. Eat that stuff whenever I can. Electronic music. It's great at dance bars, great while working out and... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:4.5
    You'd have better control of pancake batter on a hot summer day

    Just Cause 2

    You'd have better control of pancake batter on a hot summer day

    I'm pretty sure I'm in control of my life. Though I'm not entirely too sure. My job sort of rules me. Must get the work related stuff done first or I don't get my paycheck. Without the paycheck I live on the street. ... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5.5
    It's Not Good But You Can Still Have a Wank

    Tomb Raider (The Final Hours Edition)

    It's Not Good But You Can Still Have a Wank

    I've had terrible gas lately. Farting everywhere I go. I think it has something to do with my diet. To spin this whole situation into a more positive note I've gotten really good at the whole "Pull My Finger" gag. My... Read Full Review

    0 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5.5
    You pull out a weed, find a girthy carrot and before you know it, dinner plans have changed.

    Orcs Must Die! 2

    You pull out a weed, find a girthy carrot and before you know it, dinner plans have changed.

    So I get in bad moods sometimes when things don't go my way. Sometimes in the morning I'll be all happy and skippy like a boy with a yo-yo but then all of a sudden something will tick me off (like some chick hanging aro... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5
    This Nazi Outback Steakhouse Just Farted.  Want to Go There?

    Metro: Last Light (Limited Edition)

    This Nazi Outback Steakhouse Just Farted. Want to Go There?

    My roommate watches a lot of TV. I mean, a lot. He DVR's pretty much everything. He'll tell me one show is good, but it's just like every other television program. It sucks. He swears by a lot of shows though. He r... Read Full Review

    0 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:6.5
    We've all had it before, just not this far past the expiration date.

    Darksiders II

    We've all had it before, just not this far past the expiration date.

    There's a coin-up laundry about a 30 second walk from my apartment, that's where I do my clothes. Wash and Dry. A girl I'd been sleeping with came in with me once. As I was about to throw in some white shirts with the... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:4.5
    After living 15 years alone in a straightjacket, you're the first girl it came across

    Retro City Rampage

    After living 15 years alone in a straightjacket, you're the first girl it came across

    I wonder if somene had been working on designing a candle that burned longer when Edison released the light bulb. Probably. Thinking up the concept of electricity is hard enough, but pulling the parts together and maki... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:6.5
    Your mom wrapped up your favorite game for christmas and gave it to you again.

    The Last of Us

    Your mom wrapped up your favorite game for christmas and gave it to you again.

    I've never been one of those people that can go to the supermarket and stock-up on groceries. Someone who can just walk into a supermarket and drop two hundered bones on food for a few weeks. One reason I probably don'... Read Full Review

    4 of 6 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:8.5
    There's No Time To Scratch Your Butt

    Dark Souls

    There's No Time To Scratch Your Butt

    I was addicted to watching movies. I couldn't stop. Probably watched a thousand flicks in three years alone. Then I stopped. Done. Shut myself off. Not because I didn't have the time to keep watching or because I o... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:4
    "Grandpa, you pulled the turkey out too soon." "No, I didn't. "

    Primordia

    "Grandpa, you pulled the turkey out too soon." "No, I didn't. "

    Grandpa thought the turkey was cooked perfectly. But it had been some time since his senses worked properly. Meanwhile his family didn't want to make him feel bad so they quickly put a bag over the grandson's head who ... Read Full Review

    0 of 3 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:6
    You're fat and on a diet but you decide to order the juicy steak with a side of deep-fried french fries anyways.

    Super House of Dead Ninjas

    You're fat and on a diet but you decide to order the juicy steak with a side of deep-fried french fries anyways.

    I had a meal at about 4pm today. Then went out to dinner with this chick around 7. Was sort of stuffed. Should I have ordered a light dish? Yes. Did I? No. I wanted to stuff my face again. I ordered that Mexican ... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5
    An ostrich at a wedding has no place to bury its shlong

    Closure

    An ostrich at a wedding has no place to bury its shlong

    For the most part, there are certain things in this life that turn out just like you knew they would. Like a trip to the grandma's, an afternoon detention or a trip to the can. In gaming, this can be a good thing or a ... Read Full Review

    0 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5
    The top of the wedding cake eaten after the 10th anniversary dinner.

    Legend of Grimrock

    The top of the wedding cake eaten after the 10th anniversary dinner.

    Somethings get better with age, like a nice bottle of red wine. Otherthings don't, like your ability to stay hard. Take Goldeneye 64: A game that was enjoyable in its hayday but ever since has slowly become as enjoyab... Read Full Review

    1 of 2 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:6
    Some oil added to the bubble bath

    LIMBO

    Some oil added to the bubble bath

    Amusement parks have those gigantic stuffed animal prizes. Not a simple feet to claim one for your own, but if you do I imagine carrying one of those fat beasts around is as convenient as trying to cook dinner with a go... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:6
    A pair of second-hand pants that can still pick up chicks at the club

    Runner 2: Future Legend of Rhythm Alien

    A pair of second-hand pants that can still pick up chicks at the club

    Probably spend to much time thinking about what to wear when I go out. Somehow I think the choice of shirt is all that stands between me and successfully taking home a girl. Who knows. Girls have to draw the line some... Read Full Review

    3 of 11 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5
    Nuclear Meltdowns in the Mouth, Not in the Hand

    SpaceChem

    Nuclear Meltdowns in the Mouth, Not in the Hand

    Video games can occasionally give us that sensation of being better at something then we really are. Shooters send the message that we're ready to pack our bags and ship off for duty, sport games have us think we belong... Read Full Review

    0 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:6.5
    At dinner you told your dad you want to be an artist, at which point he slams an accounting book in your face.

    The Walking Dead: Episode 1 - A New Day

    At dinner you told your dad you want to be an artist, at which point he slams an accounting book in your face.

    The thing about choices is... I think I just recently started to make them. I'm 27. And no I'm not just farting out of my mouth. Seriously. Not to say there was a specific person making choices for me up to this poin... Read Full Review

    1 of 2 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:7.5
    Torchlight 2 is crack.

    Torchlight II

    Torchlight 2 is crack.

    And crack, while highly addictive, is not necessarily a good thing. Video games in general are an easy thing to get addicted too. Heck, I might not play World of Warcraft religiously but I still play enough video games... Read Full Review

    1 of 3 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:7
    Minecraft is a Breath of Fresh Chest Hair

    Minecraft (Classic)

    Minecraft is a Breath of Fresh Chest Hair

    For those of you under the age of twenty-two, you'll be surprised at which of your old buddies you're still friends with as time goes on. Most of them will be gone like the wind by the time your twenty-four, beginning t... Read Full Review

    0 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5.5
    Death Rally and the Death of 3 Days

    Death Rally

    Death Rally and the Death of 3 Days

    Here's a game that can hook a scumbag to a hooker who's already hooked on hookers. Yes I'm referring to me. Maybe I've been away from the gaming industry for too long to realize what a garbling mess this game was, but ... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5.5
    Who put that turd in the shop window?

    Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale

    Who put that turd in the shop window?

    The cool thing about many places in the world besides the West is the fact that, among other things, you can still haggle over the cost of a banana. I currently live in China and giving a shop owner beef for charging me... Read Full Review

    0 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:6.5
    You went into the fresh laundry and there were your sister's panties

    Antichamber

    You went into the fresh laundry and there were your sister's panties

    I grew up having my mom pretty much do everything for me, like I was some retarded, near-sighted gimp. She made my bed, did my homework, cooked me dinner, drove me pretty much anywhere I wanted to go, took care of me wh... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5.5
    A piece of gum that's lost its flavor, but you chew it anyways

    Botanicula

    A piece of gum that's lost its flavor, but you chew it anyways

    What is "original" flavor? Is it just like sugar or corn syrup or something mixed in with some strange animal byproduct? I get that fruit flavors try to resemble the flavor of fruits (even if it is 1%), V8 Sperm Splash... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:7
    The Grim Reaper's jockstrap just got bigger

    Slender

    The Grim Reaper's jockstrap just got bigger

    Some of us experience a stage in life where we live alone. It usually lands somewhere between the rooming with friends and rooming with your future spouse stages. It can tell you a lot about yourself, like how well you ... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5
    Makes a bad first impression but later turns out to be decent in bed

    No Time to Explain

    Makes a bad first impression but later turns out to be decent in bed

    I live in China but my Chinese is only so-so. When I go on dates, how in the world am I supposed to make a good first impression? I'm average looking, have the vocabulary of a 5 year old and the accent of a 90 somethin... Read Full Review

    1 of 1 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5
    Looks Like We're Having Pasta Again Kids!

    NHL 13

    Looks Like We're Having Pasta Again Kids!

    Not many people grow up playing hockey, well, unless you're from Canada, Minnesota or Siberia. For me it was just one of those sports that took too much effort to get into. All this equipment is involved, then you need... Read Full Review

    0 of 0 users found the following review helpful
  • User Rating:5
    Grab your swords and pantyhose, butthole face has come again

    Castle Crashers

    Grab your swords and pantyhose, butthole face has come again

    TMNT Lost in Time for the SNESadapter was a pretty cool game, I remember when you smacked enemies in mid-air somehow made your sexy green body stay up there for a bit longer. Actually, I don't remember exactly what clas... Read Full Review

    0 of 1 users found the following review helpful