Kevin always dreamed of a life at sea. Perhaps he was a sea-faring swashbuckler in an earlier life? Nah, he remembers his earlier lives. King, King, Pharaoh, King again, tiny cat, Warrior King, Kevin VanNord.
Parenthood suits Kevin. Having a minion of his own reminds him of what it was like to swing a sword for the first time. The cold steel, the raw power, the satisfying thud as it cleaved a head in two. Plus he's always really liked the name Killette.
Dammit Morrigan, this is why Kevin doesn't keep company. He doesn't work well with others - never has. One time he tried having a friend. That friend was Mitch. Poor old Mitch.
In the end all they found of him was part of a foot and something that could have once passed as an ear. The rest was mist. So fine had Kevin destroyed him that he turned into an actual fog. That really happened.
Kevin never really liked spears. He found them clumsy and difficult to store in a chest. Also he would get very little blood on himself during battle, and that simply wouldn't do.
Jerkins. What a reliable steed. The lord of all horses and MY FRIEND FOR AN AGE.
Kevin's no cheat. He, himself, was cheated in life. Born to this world without the ability to feel. Wouldn't you be mad? Kevin isn't. HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW.
Goats are not to be trusted. They are purist evil and have hearts as black as obsidian. Much like Kevin VanNord really - so it's a wonder he's not considered transforming into one before.
What other creatures share characteristics with Kevin VanNord? VOTE TO DECIDE SUCH THINGS
"God of War" is actually a pretty specific title. Kevin was offered it once, but turned it down for being "too niche". He wanted "God of Pain", but the God of Job Titles didn't have it as an option. So Kevin killed the God of Job Titles, stole all his stuff, burned his home, and flipped off his pets.
He made up some business cards so folks would know who killed their relatives.
Kevin couldn't live in the world of Fantasia. Not with all those LUCK DRAGONS flying around. Wonder where Falkor was? Dead is where. Kevin will not suffer a dragon to live, lucky or otherwise.
He's totally on board with The Nothing, though. It's the only malevolent force that he truly gets. He tried Buddhism for a while, but ultimately he found peace by the sword.
Hunting dragons has always appealed to Kevin, but lately it's losing it's appeal. The reason is simple - all the dragons have hatched. You see, with all the dragon mating, the eggs are just yielding baby dragons. Before though? Dragon omelettes for breakfast. Every day.
Have you had a dragon omelette? Of course you haven't. It's so rich in iron that it will make your liver physically melt. But with a little mammoth cheese crumbled on top? MMM mmm!