And Piccard said to Kevin VanNord, you're a Jedi, and you must fight the reavers so that Voldemort cannot regain control of the dark crystal. Kevin, incapable of fathoming instructions, grabs his noisy cricket, sets it from stun to kill, and jumps through the slide gate to destroy the Cylons. He arrives at a cross road. There are three paths, but which one will he take?
Two warriors, both alike in ruggedness,
In fair Skyrim, where we lay our scene,
From ancient armor break to new swords,
Where imperial blood makes stormcloak hands unclean.
From forth the sexy loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd warriors take, like, a bunch of lives;
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their brutality bury their dead.
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd quest,
And the continuance of their tolerance of heads,
Which, but their battleaxes of hatred, nought could remove,
Is now the twenty three minutes traffic of our site;
The which if you with bloodthirsty eyes our Kevins shall dote,
What here mods for next week, our viewers must vote.
While all of Skyrim's animals have their own mating calls and rituals, a single blast of Kevin's mating horn resonates with everyone. Male and female. Animal and human. It's felt deep in the loins, and is completely irresistible.
Kevin loves Dark Souls. Not the game. He loves real dark souls - the kind he can capture and use to power his mighty weapons. He makes a game OF capturing dark souls, though, and it's the closest thing Kevin will come to feeling true joy.
Much like the humble shark, Kevin VanNord is incapable of distinguishing between a dummy and a human. One time he hacked away at a stuffed biped for an entire week. He didn't get tired, or bored. He got strong.
Greetings fellow hunams! Much like you, I also enjoy this "voting".
Kevin watched My Little Pony once. The one with the smooze, and the rainbow thing? But he drove a hot knife through his own eyes three minutes in, so he never found out how it ended. While Kevin has no need for sight (he navigates through the smell of fear) he cut out fresh ones from a sabre cat. Never looked back. That wasn't a pun. Kevin doesn't comprehend puns.
Kevin feels something for Lightning. Not love, no. No sir. More like a warriors respect, only without the emotions. He acknowledges she exists, barely.
Kevin "Vote or I shall end you."
The Predator "ksrfgibgi`urgbliw4ubtliaegb`w igbob ilwgb;`i4 gb;o34bg;iaebg;oea5g;eago!!!!"
Captain Skyrim is here to defend the world from injustice, also to defend the world from poor mod voting.