You are so NOT a failure, and as a parent myself, I would imagine your parents love you very, very much!
It hurts to hear you in such pain...I have been there myself and understand all to well.
Remind yourself your going through a rough patch, it WILL pass, and just take one day at a time. Just get through each day as it comes.
And if your depression meds aren't working, tell you doctor and try a different one! Keep trying until you find one that does help! There are many different ones on the market. If your doctor won't help try another. Keep trying until you get the help you need!
Tell your parents how bad you still are; they may surprise you.
No matter what keep hanging in there; keep going. Don't hate video games; maybe they aren't for you now, but depression is a chemical imbalance that sucks the joy out of everything.
Hope you find some help. You absolutely deserve to feel well, and can someday, somehow, if you keep trying ok?
Or as Dorie (?) would say: just keep swimming, just keep swimming. ;)
Hi, thanks for sharing, it is really courageous of you to do so.
First off, don't think you are alone. As you can no doubt see just from the comments here, depression is all too common these days. And if you think of the reality of the world today, with the economy, and unemployment rates, etc., it really isn't surprising.
At my worst, bottomed out period of depression, I played WoW obsessively. And for me, it was a positive thing that helped me cope. There are many worse ways to "self-medicate" such as drugs or drinking. I was also able to make real life friends through WoW. And I often found Guildmates who were also coping with depression, or anxiety, or other mental health issues. Just talking with them, and sharing our issues helped me get through each day.
I'm sorry you haven't found real-life friends yet, through your gaming experiences. Here's my thoughts on some things to try to help you:
Check through a Google search, or your local comic book store for some table top gaming groups, Magic the Gathering, or whatever. There are a TON of different table top games, and if you like video gaming, there's a good chance one of these games would interest you. Best of all, you would be meeting people in person (!), and shared interests is the first step to making friends. :)
Do you go to church? If you do, talk to your Pastor or Youth Counselor. Or just go to the youth group meetings. Most youth groups actively go bowling, or swimming or something else where again you could meet people. Good church youth groups don't heavily proselytize.
Join one of your schools after-school groups. I don't know about your school, but maybe there is some type of club or activity that would interest you and let you meet people. Maybe you'd even surprise yourself by finding a new interest.
Absolutely do this: Just concentrate on getting through One. Day. At. A. Time. Don't let yourself worry about the future or even tomorrow. When things are bad, and you're depressed, one day's woes are easier to handle!
Maybe your Mom or Dad would take you to a doctor? I know you think they'd brush you off, but it would be worth trying perhaps. A doctor could help you get counseling, or maybe medication would help you. I and many others have been helped immensely by taking anti-depression meds. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain, and there are many types of new meds that can help.
Last resort would be to talk with a school guidance counselor. Just know they are required by law to report any serious issue; but if things get really bad for you, definitely tell some Adult in your life! If they don't listen tell someone else. If you need it, your teacher, or counselor, or principal will help.
Go to a convention, comics or gaming. You'll be surrounded by people with shared interests.
Try being an active poster on a forum for something that interests you. Even if it doesn't lead to "live" friendships, it would at least let you make connections with others. Just remember to Never let a troll bother you! Ignore them completely.
I am rooting for you. I hope things improve for you.
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