I'm tired... really.. I'm really tired.
first, I could use some help and feedback.
I love my mother and father. even they did bad job at parent but I do understand that they are trying their best to help me out and give me what I need to built my life. Once I finally hit sweet 16, my father pushed me so friggen hard to learn how to drive even I wasn't in rush to get mine full. he brought me a car that only last 2 years. even I fail beginner test two times :lol: then finally pass on thirds try. Bam I`m on my own. just come visit him when I need to or help him out or when I need some help, just like that. my mother started make me paying rent at 16! so I could understand `what is life`I do get the idea but still why do they have to be so hard on me. I'm in high school trying to pass so I can do some trade or go to university so I can affort better life. but that didn`t happen. my father stop pay child support and my mother started to panic and raise my rent little higher as going school full time and working full time since I was 16. so you see once I got older and I started to careless about school and very tired all the times. so that why I didn't bother take seriously in school just try to pass so I can move on in my life and was in rush because I can't take this anymore. so I just do what I need to do pass high school hell I was on honour roll without take it serious. so on my record, I miss 184 days of high school in 2 years and half and graduation as honour roll just because I was in hurry to get out of my mother house.
because of my mother boyfriend. he is too damn depress and being angry all the times. My mother is stressing like hell all the time. I always got crap toss at me for not doing something perfect or forget something. I just suck it up because I can't stand argue with them all the time "because my mother boyfriend bring the most money to home" oh please, I work as well I had crap job standing all the times and feeding people for almost 5 years straight. I'm supervisor now but still can't afford anything because all my money goes to food, gas and rents. hell of hard time to save anything to put down while buying a house.
I just found out I got 6 month left to stay because they are planning to move out yet I'm not done with college yet and economy in here is too much. hell I can't even afford apt.. ether no roof or no food. Yes I'm living with my girlfriend right now. I understand that she cant work and going university. it impossible, we are human not a machines. she is trying get phd. I'm trying to finish school so I can work under government as payroll account I got seat there for promise for epic marks and quick I flew through the course. just need get work out of way so I can finish it without problem.
you had no idea how badly I love chantal and it hurt me so much seeing her crying and felt bad for me going thorugh all this trouble. I hate say this chantal is only person that I felt loved from. My parent didn't show it right all they was looking from me is money.
I got mother boyfriend always angry with me and my father's girlfriend hate me so much for stood up told her story that she made up to make my father depress "ditch visit my father to help him out just because I was busy with video game" no man I was study for final exam in college and told him that I could help him next weekend and that didn't went well.just be careful one click on facebook would cause huge top story to my family.
only choice I got right now. is move in with my grandfather who is not doing so well at the moment or live with my girlfriend and roomates which I don't want do that at all. I don't trust anyone and hate anyone touch my stuff that I been work my butt off since I was 16.
so what I should do? my girlfriend found some apt but still too risk because I'm not working or in school at the moment because I start to sleepwalking little often and almost burn down restaurant. I'm so lucky enough to have job. just need doctor order so I can go back again.
any idea? I could use some help.