MuddVader / Member

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MuddVader Blog


Do you ever feel as if you are destined to be engulfed by your own insanity?

I'm sure you know the feeling.
There's always so much on your mind, and it almost always holds you back. It bogs you down and makes some of the simplest things seem like massive tasks.

Everything I could ever want is so simple, yet so impossibly out of reach, its sickening.
Love, A Job, Comfort, Control, Peace of Mind, a semblance of Genuine Happiness, etc.
Every day it feels as if the person I consider my one true friend, is floating on the tides of life, moving ever so swiftly away from me. Leaving me behind.
Unfortunately I also love this person, and my mind is a rock with their name carved deep into its surface. Ive spent the last three years integrating this person into my desired future, only for them to practically not need me anymore while on the other hand I still rather strongly desire/require their existence.

Anger, Sadness, Hate, they are all part of the daily routine that I have fallen into.
An abomination of emotional instability is bound to be all that will remain in the end.


Another day

Where the masses show their affection to their loved ones.

A day where I am reminded I have never taken part in this holiday legitimately, as in it was never a mutual celebration.
No doubt ive given gifts on a couple occasions..

How depressing though to be reminded of my lonelyness.

How depressing to be reminded that the one girl whom my heart belongs to, would never actually agree to be something so trivial as my valentine, let alone love me back..

How depressing indeed =P

Mass Effect 2

PRE-ordered (well, purchased, just cant get it until Monday at Midnight =0)

Cant Wait!

It beeeeetter work on my mobile GPU D=

Its gone..

TFG, atleast as we knew it.
Its a shame that select users dragged the site down..
Its a major loss to me and I hate that it had to happen.
I dont know exactly whats happened, but I'm sorry that it had to end like that Myon =(

I wish I could have gotten some certain peoples emails though..