Max is back baby!!
That's right! After a long dark hiatus, I have returned to the promised land to pour forth my earthly wisdom that ye may sup eagerly at my rigid bosom and come to know a deeper understanding of life.
To paraphrase a coherent orator from parts unknown:
"For a man to truly find himself,
He has to go to a place we're all entitled to go to...
IN THE MIND!
In the 2 and a half years in which I have been absent,
There is one thing that would not die...
You spoke to me! (Pointing to the left)
You spoke to me! (Pointing to the right)
ALL OF YOU spoke to me!! (Pointing at you)"
Indeed my fall from grace has been steep and hard. My exile into the wasteland was a torment to behold. I wandered the desert in search of a guiding light which would show me the way to redemption. Living without the Internet was a crass ignominy which I have burdened with all my strength.
But now, now that I have returned to you, oh my children, I feel a grateful nostalgia for those bygone halcyon days of yore. I'm back on Gamespot and there ain't nothin' you can do about it!
During that time, I have regrettably loss faith. I speak of the cardinal belief I once had as a child, the belief that Nintendo was Good, Pure and Righteous. I was loyal, as all Men should be. Loyal to a company that changed the world and the way we live. An institution that prided itself on quality and built it's reputation on integrity. But it's legacy has born sour fruit. The one Video Game enterprise on which I could always count is but a mere shadow of itself, a spectre which does not deserve the name. Nintendo has become what it once stood against: a corporate machine interested solely in profit, no more, no less.
I lay heartbroken and devoid of hope. What does my bleak future hold?